Why won't Sarah leave?

[FloraDoraDolly]

Sarah should have at least a little $$$ from her Moody books. Whether or not she has access to it, I don't know.

[emmyfair]

Sarah should have at least a little $$$ from her Moody books. Whether or not she has access to it, I don't know.

I would suspect she does not. It's more than likely in a bank account for her future husband. She could never have any need for it while under her father's protection, right?

... sick.

[fundifugee]

Unfortunately, I believe the only way Sarah could escape is to marry a man who eventually becomes fundy-lite or mainsteam Christian (or drops religion altogether). Steve would never allow a mainstream Christian in the door, so this would have to happen after the marriage, and Sarah, good submissive wife that she would be, would have to go along with it. They'd also have to live far away from Steve and Teri.

Maybe she could marry a nice elderly person in the old people church who has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, and a nice stash of savings; then announce that the Lord has put it on her heart to become his helpmeet.

[Guest Anonymous]

Maybe she could marry a nice elderly person in the old people church who has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, and a nice stash of savings; then announce that the Lord has put it on her heart to become his helpmeet.

And no next of kin.

[maia]

No, the newspaper was becoming an idol for Teri so they stopped reading it:

titus2.com/corners/5-09-m.htm.

I read her blog post on this and for some reason this infuriates me more than anything. what is wrong with these people? I understand sheltering your kids from violence in movies, to a certain extent. But keeping any and all news from them, period? They are intentionally making it so that if, heaven forbid, one of their children decides to make a go of it in the real world, they will be overwhelmed by information...to the extent that they would feel any and all information is utterly wicked and they must return to the "safe haven" of the home they were raised in. Keeping a child (or adult) from any and all factual information about the world around them is indefensible mind control--it's child abuse of the highest order, IMO. What's wrong, Steve? Are you afraid your kids will figure out that you're controlling? If your way is truly the best way to live, expose them to other ways of life. Surely they'll choose yours if it is truly superior.

These people make me furious.

[WonderingInWA]

There might be hope for her yet. Wasn't Rebecca Serven about 30 when she got married? Sure, she's not pumping out babies, but maybe that's a good thing. And just for the record, I'm not a fundie, married 26 days before my 30th birthday, and managed to eek a couple of babies out before I was 40. So, it's still possible for Sarah to get married and get 'er done.

[WanderingStar]

So a few minutes ago my daughter who is 11 was reading over my shoulder as I was reading the posts about Sarah Maxwell and she asked me who Sarah was. I explained to her that Sarah was homeschooled her whole life and is now an adult who doesn't have a job and who only hangs out with her family, doesn't read newspapers or watches tv. My daughter then says to me "but mom, that's like Rapunzel being locked up in the tower! you better not do that to me!" I had to laugh because it's kinda true!

Even more true when you count the fact that most girls like that can't even cut their hair! :P

But really, I've always wondered for a long time why Sarah isn't married yet or doesn't have some kind of courting interest. I mean, I wonder how the two oldest Maxwell kids, Nathan and Christopher, met their brides? They simply didn't just fall from the heavens, they had to meet them first somehow. Sure, Steve is controlling, and any father like him is certainly going to have tighter rein on their daughters than their sons, but it seems almost impossible that he could've cut off all forms of socialization from Sarah, barring keeping her home from their conference tours. I tend to think it's a mixture of control issues plus utter cluelessness from taking "waiting for God to provide a husband for her" so literally.

And if he wants to marry off his children in birth order, as I guess he'd like to do, he better get his learn on and connect with some other fathers with potentially courtable children, or he's going to have six unmarried dependent kids with nowhere to go if he and Teri kick the bucket unexpectedly.

[Justme]

Even more true when you count the fact that most girls like that can't even cut their hair! :P

But really, I've always wondered for a long time why Sarah isn't married yet or doesn't have some kind of courting interest. I mean, I wonder how the two oldest Maxwell kids, Nathan and Christopher, met their brides? They simply didn't just fall from the heavens, they had to meet them first somehow. Sure, Steve is controlling, and any father like him is certainly going to have tighter rein on their daughters than their sons, but it seems almost impossible that he could've cut off all forms of socialization from Sarah, barring keeping her home from their conference tours. I tend to think it's a mixture of control issues plus utter cluelessness from taking "waiting for God to provide a husband for her" so literally.

And if he wants to marry off his children in birth order, as I guess he'd like to do, he better get his learn on and connect with some other fathers with potentially courtable children, or he's going to have six unmarried dependent kids with nowhere to go if he and Teri kick the bucket unexpectedly.

Nathan has been married over 10 years. He met Melanie at church. They were still attending a "normal" church at this point. Chris met Anna at a conference. She is the daughter of the Host's.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sure, Steve is controlling, and any father like him is certainly going to have tighter rein on their daughters than their sons, but it seems almost impossible that he could've cut off all forms of socialization from Sarah, barring keeping her home from their conference tours. I tend to think it's a mixture of control issues plus utter cluelessness from taking "waiting for God to provide a husband for her" so literally.

And if he wants to marry off his children in birth order, as I guess he'd like to do, he better get his learn on and connect with some other fathers with potentially courtable children, or he's going to have six unmarried dependent kids with nowhere to go if he and Teri kick the bucket unexpectedly.

Sarah is nearly 30 and the only places she goes are the nursing home and conference venues. There cannot be many eligible 30ish year old single men who would go to a conference about homeschooling and child-rearing. There would be no reason at all for them to go to that kind of event, unless they were seriously under the thumb of their own parents, or seriously creepy in their own right. Sarah's only hope is to meet a batchelor son of one of the few family friends/hosts that they meet on their travels, but their invitations to new venues seem to be drying up now

She really needs to run away with the hot Sound Guy next time the family produce an ear-splitting worship CD. :shock:

[WanderingStar]

She really needs to run away with the hot Sound Guy next time the family produce an ear-splitting worship CD. :shock:

I think I like this option the best. ;) Well, we can dream, right?

[WonderingInWA]

I'm hoping that John making that last post on the blog "to give Sarah a break" really just means he is starting to train for taking over her blogging responsibilities and that Sarah may actually soon be courting. Is this too much to hope for? I thought that was really odd that John made the post.

[lilah]

So a few minutes ago my daughter who is 11 was reading over my shoulder as I was reading the posts about Sarah Maxwell and she asked me who Sarah was. I explained to her that Sarah was homeschooled her whole life and is now an adult who doesn't have a job and who only hangs out with her family, doesn't read newspapers or watches tv. My daughter then says to me "but mom, that's like Rapunzel being locked up in the tower! you better not do that to me!" I had to laugh because it's kinda true!

Hah! I just rewatched "tangled" over labor day and noticed the way Rapunzel's life seemed to parallel a SAHD (complete with her going stir crazy doing lots of crafts and reading the same books over again). She even sings a song about waiting for her real life to begin.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Hah! I just rewatched "tangled" over labor day and noticed the way Rapunzel's life seemed to parallel a SAHD (complete with her going stir crazy doing lots of crafts and reading the same books over again). She even sings a song about waiting for her real life to begin.

Blogger THAT MOM discussed this!

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm hoping that John making that last post on the blog "to give Sarah a break" really just means he is starting to train for taking over her blogging responsibilities and that Sarah may actually soon be courting. Is this too much to hope for? I thought that was really odd that John made the post.

It is sooo odd. Anna usually writes when Sarah needs a break, and she has been in training for a year now to take over from Sarah. Which is why I love the thought that Teri and Steve are bundled in the back of the bus and John is making an escape.... :D

[AnnoDomini]

Hah! I just rewatched "tangled" over labor day and noticed the way Rapunzel's life seemed to parallel a SAHD (complete with her going stir crazy doing lots of crafts and reading the same books over again). She even sings a song about waiting for her real life to begin.

Oh man, yes. When I watched that movie, it reminded me of... well, me. I felt it so much. The boat scene made me cry because I felt like I would never ever get to that pin my life. (I er, suffer from depression.)

[jenny_islander]

It's been observed before that somebody working on the script must have come from a similar background because Tangled maps so well onto the experience of a daughter of patriarchal fundamentalism.

Including what happens after Rapunzel leaves the tower. Hang in there. No permite bastardes carborundorum.

[deborahlynn1979]

What happens to these people if Steve and Teri die? They don't seem to have very many real-life skills they could put to good use to stay afloat. The more I read about this family, the more freaked out I become. That Mom's Corner about giving up the newspaper and ALL news outlets entirely was quite possibly one of the scariest things I've ever rea.

[allyisyourpally5]

What happens to these people if Steve and Teri die? They don't seem to have very many real-life skills they could put to good use to stay afloat. The more I read about this family, the more freaked out I become. That Mom's Corner about giving up the newspaper and ALL news outlets entirely was quite possibly one of the scariest things I've ever rea.

no no no no no, did you not read the Holly Homemaker series of Corners (I believe 7 months worth, good lord) - You have failed your children if they do not know how to use a washer and so the laundry. So they will be fine, chorepacks are the requirement for a successful life :)

I don't quite understand the mindset of those at the conference who listen to Sarah and her sisters give the talk about preparing to be stay at home moms and wives or whatever it is.....what do they know?

You know what else I wonder.....the testemonies Sarah and the rest give at conferences. I thought testemonies were about life experiences. Again, what the heck have they got to testify about? Reall?!?!?!?!

[allyisyourpally5]

Doy, I don't mean testify, I mean they have no experience of ANYTHING in their little bubble.....how can they really give a testimony?

[Black Aliss]

I wonder if Sarah really wants to be married and have to care for a passel of children. I know more than a few adult children of alcoholic familes who have zero interest in raising children because they had to be the "grownup" in the house all their lives. That's sort of the case for Sarah, when her mother was incapacitated by her severe depression. I imagine Sarah having to shoulder quite a load of responsibility, including responsibility for the emotional climate in the household, from an early age. She may have had her fill of nurturing.

[Guest Anonymous]

A couple of posters on here know the family and have said Sarah is desperate to marry and was crushed when Christopher became engaged to Anna who is so much younger than Sarah.

[Austin]

The thing about people in general who spend their whole lives waiting around for something/someone is it is such a waste. For all we know, this could be the only life we get. Many people all over the world have faith that there is an afterlife/heaven, but no one can know that for sure, so I believe we should live our lives - the one we have now - in the most satisfying way possible - no matter what we believe about the afterlife.

A life wasted waiting on your freaky, super-controlling daddy is really sucky. But she is an adult, and I'm sure she's aware of that much, and it's her choice.

[WonderingInWA]

A couple of posters on here know the family and have said Sarah is desperate to marry and was crushed when Christopher became engaged to Anna who is so much younger than Sarah.

That makes me really sad if it's true. Sarah should have been married long ago. They could have given her the big public courtship/fundie royalty publicity she deserves (think Kelly Bradrick, here). If Nathan was married in his early/mid-twenties, and NR-Anna was hitched up with Christopher in HER mid-twenties, what happened to Steve's radar on poor Sarah? She's THIRTY! C'mon Stevie, give the girl the happiness she deserves. I hope she surprises the hell out of him and runs off with the milkman.

We should set up a Match.com profile for her. Anyone know her cell phone number? Oh, wait, it's probably just the men in the family that carry cell phones. Bummer.

And I'd like to see Stevie do a Dad's Corner piece on his ideas about courtship regarding his oldest daughter. I think it would make him a much more "real" person if he would admit to what the hell he's been up to regarding her life. Is he helping or hurting her (in his mind)?

[kpmom]

And I'd like to see Stevie do a Dad's Corner piece on his ideas about courtship regarding his oldest daughter. I think it would make him a much more "real" person if he would admit to what the hell he's been up to regarding her life. Is he helping or hurting her (in his mind)?

One of the sessions they give is "Courtship". I'd love to attend one and ask Steve about this. What is a young lady supposed to do? She can't approach young men, or their fathers, so....does she sit around until a young man approaches her dad?

Does her father approach the fathers of eligible men? It's very vague how Steve expects this to work for females.

[tehgoobster]

The FJ poster who knows the Maxwells IRL said that Sarah has had suitors, but they've always had some flaws that turned her off. It seems she really, really wants to get married, though, and I hope she's able to do so sooner rather than later (or not at all). I feel bad for her because there aren't a lot of uber-fundie guys in her age group, and I'm not sure that there are a lot of guys who would be willing to take things to the extremes that the Maxwells do. I think that Sarah is sufficiently brainwashed to want a husband who's just like her dad. It's sad, but I suspect it's true. On the other hand, she's clearly pretty upset/frustrated by her romantic situation, but I don't think her sadness is enough to make her actively question things. If someone were to talk to her and challenge her beliefs, I don't think they'd be able to get through to her. If Steve allowed her to become friends with non-fundies, then I think she'd stand a chance; I think she'd start to question things, but I highly doubt that'd ever happen. I hate to say it, but I think it would take a lot for Sarah to leave. And by a lot, I mean something pretty extreme. I truly feel that the Maxwells -- especially Steve and Teri -- are their own worst enemies. You never know, though. They could shock us in the future, but I'm definitely not going to get my hopes up.