Lori Alexander 46: She Sure Is Highly Edumacated

[HoneyBunny]

1 hour ago, squiddysquid said:

Thanks! I tried to look it up but couldn't remember the name.

You know what makes me feel old? Buffy came out in 1996

(But rewatching an old episode, I realised how much better my generation had it growing up.

That Twilight crap really wreaked havoc on feminism.)

You know what makes me feel old?  I was too darn old to watch Buffy when it came out.

[church_of_dog]

17 minutes ago, Curious said:

Earlier this week, my husband let something fall through the cracks and it was BAD for ME!!!  Like really bad.  Emergency bad (I'm fine).  When I finally was able to get hold of him and tell him what was going on and found out that it was something he should have done but forgot I was LIVID.  SO SO SO mad.

So what did I do you might ask?  When he apologized I said it was ok.  When he asked if I needed him to come home I said nope nothing you can do and I'm fine now.   Then I talked to a couple friends and told them how incredibly mad I was.

Once I took a pain pill and felt better I stopped being mad.  I knew it was an accident. By the time he got home, I was able to joke about it with him.   I'm sure he has an idea I wasn't happy because he knows me, but I didn't treat him badly for making a mistake.   I have a feeling that isn't how it would have gone down in Lori and Ken's house.

This story brought to mind an anecdote I read a few years ago.  A blog I follow is Yarn Harlot, written by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, who is in equal parts humorist, author and knitter.

I'm not suggesting it's comparable to your story, @Curious, partly because I don't know your story beyond what you've shared here, and partly because her story clearly does not involve an actual emergency.  

But it's the same general dynamic, and her story always makes me laugh when I read it (and demonstrates a very healthy relationship, IMO) so I thought I would share it here:

https://www.yarnharlot.ca/2014/06/the-reason-for-the-divorce/

 

[delphinium65]

Holy s...ugar, Lori has 3 new posts today on TTW. 

1.  'IS WORK A NECESSARY EVIL?' 

2.  'SUBMIT AS IT IS FIT IN THE LORD'

3.  'WHY ORGANIC FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE'

In top down order, not chronological.  So she feels that she has to tell us all, TODAY, that work is 'a gift from God,' 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord,' and 'Man cannot improve upon food the way God created it to be eaten.'  I really, REALLY hate to say, or even think this, but...is she getting bored waiting for her mother to die? 

[EowynW]

39 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

This story brought to mind an anecdote I read a few years ago.  A blog I follow is Yarn Harlot, written by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, who is in equal parts humorist, author and knitter.

I'm not suggesting it's comparable to your story, @Curious, partly because I don't know your story beyond what you've shared here, and partly because her story clearly does not involve an actual emergency.  

But it's the same general dynamic, and her story always makes me laugh when I read it (and demonstrates a very healthy relationship, IMO) so I thought I would share it here:

https://www.yarnharlot.ca/2014/06/the-reason-for-the-divorce/

 

I love Yarn Harlot. 

[Frog99]

32 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Holy s...ugar, Lori has 3 new posts today on TTW. 

1.  'IS WORK A NECESSARY EVIL?' 

2.  'SUBMIT AS IT IS FIT IN THE LORD'

3.  'WHY ORGANIC FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE'

In top down order, not chronological.  So she feels that she has to tell us all, TODAY, that work is 'a gift from God,' 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord,' and 'Man cannot improve upon food the way God created it to be eaten.'  I really, REALLY hate to say, or even think this, but...is she getting bored waiting for her mother to die? 

She also posted an instastory, presumably from a hospice facility, talking about how “they” don’t kill the bees and “they” have put something out to attract them. 

I don’t think Lori has any ability to relate to others. By all accounts, she and her mother had a difficult relationship, she was (and probably still is, emotionally at least- look at all the posts that seem to target Alyssa) physically and emotionally abusive to her children, and now we’ve seen how she’s been physically abusive to Ken- by her own admission (and I would bet the emotional abuse would shock us all). She didn’t marry Ken because she loved him-she’s admitted that- I think she’s incapable of that depth of emotion. She loves herself.

She grew up in a two parent home with needs met. It would make for a fascinating case study. Her one sister seems warm and caring. 

[Koala]

Is an Instastory a video?  I can't imagine what people are thinking, watching her glued to that phone, taking videos of herself rambling on about bees.

I'd also imagine she's foaming about her little secret leaking out.  She didn't want people outside of that chatroom realizing she hit Ken.  She certainly didn't want to go on record saying a "good husband" could hit his wife.  Wouldn't want to go VIRAL for the wrong thing...

[quiversR4hunting]

Lori is right! I know you are shocked I just said that but she is right, males and females process anger differently. I am reading The Seven Principles of making marriage work here is 2 screenshot about 1 of the 4 divorce predictors. 

 

Spoiler

Oh but Lori, of course, got it wrong on who is driven more by emotions

[Koala]

Thinking you were "more spiritual"?  Are you kidding me, lady?  You were literally CRIMINAL.  Do you think you can just go around hitting people and then claiming you're "spiritual" and "not abusive"?  Uh, no.  That's not how that works.  You HIT your husband AND your kids.  My god.  What on earth made you think you were spiritual?  You treated people horribly....still do.  

Good god....

[Frog99]

An instastory is a live video- only stays on IG for 24 hours. 

I’m new to Lori (compared to many of you)- when did her blog start to shift into what it is now? I think that the person we see now is who she really is and I’m wondering what might have caused her to drop the act. All the children finally married? Something involving Ken? She almost acts like a caged animal or one backed into a corner. 

I think it’s a sad existence but that’s because I can relate to others and I care about people in general. 

[Koala]

As you read these quotes, keep in my that Lori says she is not an abuser, and that she doesn't have anger problems.  In fact, she's not violent in any way. 

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give a little smack 

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give them a swat 

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A spanking will work if it is hard enough. We used a small leather strap on their behind and it hurt! 

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We used a small leather strap and it hurt!

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I spanked my children when I was angry

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I spanked in anger sometimes

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We spanked them if they didn't obey us!

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  we slapped their hand

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Alyssa received more spankings than the others.

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However, for children under one year old, the Pearls recommend a "small, 10 to 12 inch long, willowy branch {stripped of any knots that might break the skin}, about 1/8" in diameter is sufficient." I made one of these to see what it felt like. {You should try it to in order to see how harmless it is before criticizing the Pearls.} I used it on Ken and he could barely feel it.

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...they just needed to be spanked harder.

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My children definitely feared us growing up.

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 they were actually afraid of me

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we spanked them on their bare bottom and it stung

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we used an eighteen inch piece of leather strap.

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We used a special little strap and spanked hard enough so it would hurt.  Pain is a great motivator and teacher. 

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If they were wiggling around while we changed their diaper, we would spank their bottom

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I spanked him for lying.  

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 She remembers several times she got spanked and just remembers me using my leather strap. 

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When my children openly disobeyed us, they were fearful since they knew they were "going to get it."

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Spanking worked great for us

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Pain is a great motivator.

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I flicked their cheek

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swat their hand

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we would give them a few hard smacks

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Boy, did I get it  from some of you for flicking my babies' cheeks when they were nursing and bit me.  I only had to do it once to each of them and they stopped.  I did it hard enough that they cried.

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One flick on the cheek and my babies never bit me again. 

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  a few swats

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Pain isn't always a bad thing

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Several swats on their hand

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Pain is not a bad thing! 

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I hit Ken once...

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I am certainly not an abuser.

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Ken and I, and most of my friends were all spanked and not one of us is violent in any way.  

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Ken and I don't have anger problems

 

[polecat]

20 hours ago, fluffy said:

Imma gonna leave this here. 

Lori, you most certainly are an abuser. You're physically and emotionally abusive, and you're spiritually abusive, too. 

 

[squiddysquid]

You know Lori, it's been proven over and over again that positive reinforcement and rewarding good behaviour works much better than fear (added bonus: you don't traumatise you kids for life.)

But that wouldn't satisfy your sadistic needs now, would it? Monster.

[Imrlgoddess]

I've searched for the comment & can't find it. All I saw this morning was the organic food post. 

Where did she make her "I'm not an abuser" statement?

[Koala]

14 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

You know Lori, it's been proven over and over again that positive reinforcement and rewarding good behaviour works much better than fear (added bonus: you don't traumatise you kids for life.)

But that wouldn't satisfy your sadistic needs now, would it? Monster.

She has addressed that:

April 23 2018:

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Yes, I am sure parents can raise good children without ever spanking them but it takes a lot more time, energy, and effort

Time, energy, and effort...all things Lori was not willing to invest in her children.  Being the "non-violent" person that she claims to be, she much preferred to hit/spank/smack/swat/slap/flick.

In another post called "Parenting The Exhausting Way", she says:

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 I know many of you are opposed to spanking but it works great if done consistently and hard enough so it hurts.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/01/parenting-exhausting-way.html

[delphinium65]

10 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I've searched for the comment & can't find it. All I saw this morning was the organic food post. 

The other posts seem to be gone, but I did get screenshots of the titles, along with today's date.  I didn't include the entire posts, because on a quick glance they seemed to be the same old crap, and the only relevant factor at the time seemed to be that she posted 3, when she would normally post 1.  

[squiddysquid]

And Lori has the nerve to tell people, women have to stay home, because if both parents work there isn't enough time to raise the children.

My aunt and uncle have 4 children like Lori. They both worked long hours (doctor+nurse) and still they found the time and energy to raise them without hitting them.

Lori, while you were resting at home with a nanny and a cleaning lady, it wasn't worth your precious time to put some effort into caring for your kids - the while reason why you supposedly had to stay home in the first place?

[Imrlgoddess]

@delphinium65 I wonder if she has them written out & keyed up to post at various times & accidentally let 3 go through by mistake? 

[delphinium65]

5 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

@delphinium65 I wonder if she has them written out & keyed up to post at various times & accidentally let 3 go through by mistake? 

Could be.  If I wanted to go the BEC route I'd wonder if she posted them, then realized-either by reading here, or comment elsewhere-that it might look like she was even more busy online while her mother is ill, and waiting for her to pass on.  I'm trying to give her as much benefit of the doubt as possible, and honestly I like your explanation better, but Lori makes it very hard to take the high road where she's concerned.  

[Imrlgoddess]

6 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

but Lori makes it very hard to take the high road where she's concerned.  

I firmly agree with you! It never ceases to amaze me how callous & delusional she is.

[polecat]

Her logic is just mind-boggling. If someone robs a store once (just once!), do we say, meh, it only happened once; they're not really a robber. If someone plagiarizes -- just once -- is that a freebie? It doesn't really count? If you beat your kid "harder" and accidentally break their arm, does it not count because A. it only happened once and B. you didn't do it on purpose? I know what the law says, but I'm super duper curious about what Lori Alexander has to say about it.

We're not talking about accidentally walking out of the grocery with something on the bottom of your cart that you forgot (also technically theft). We are talking about physically striking someone -- committing battery. That is a crime and a serious one at that. Lori, you struck your husband. You hit him. You are guilty of IPV, domestic violence. You HIT him. You ABUSED him. You are AN ABUSER. And you don't get to shrug your shoulders and pretend like it doesn't count because it only happened once. 

Methinks we've discovered the real reason Ken almost left her monstrous ass, though.

[luv2laugh]

“Alyssa received the most spankings”.

Wow, Lori. Do we need to know that? Why share something so personal about your daughter? You are just mad that your beatings did not break her spirit. You’re still trying to break her. You won’t! 

[Koala]

12 minutes ago, polecat said:

Methinks we've discovered the real reason Ken almost left her monstrous ass, though.

It definitely puts an interesting spin on this comment left by Ken back in 2014:

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a 135 pound women is going to go whack her man? That either means she trust him enough to control himself, or she is drunk as a skunk. I guess her rage might propel her to do it, but please be advised that none of us should do anything more than walk away from someone who is slapping us, and seek help from the authorities. 

I think alcohol may be playing a big role in this case, for both parties.

Lori and her love of the bottle has been highlighted here before (in direct quotes).  I can't help but wonder if Ken's assertions about this other couple are based on his reality.  A rage filled Lori (her default), drinking too much, and then hitting Ken wouldn't surprise me. 

To be very clear- alcohol is absolutely NO EXCUSE for domestic violence.  I wouldn't be surprised if Lori used it as an excuse, though.  Perhaps that's even the reason she now claims she wants to live in a "zero alcohol world".  Or maybe not...you saw the quotes upthread...maybe she hit him because that's what Lori does.  Kids, husband, pretty much anyone who won't hit her back.

[Koala]

She also has a very strange obsession with reliving the days when she spanked:

In one post she writes:

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 I put out a questionnaire to the rest of my children to get their perspective on spanking and what they recall. 

She sent her adult kids a questionnaire about being spanked?  Yeah, that's just fucking weird.

In another post she writes

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I asked Alyssa if she remembers being spanked... 

She continues...

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She said she remembered a few but knew she deserved them. 

No.  No, she did not.  Your daughter NEVER deserved to be hit.  Your other three children NEVER deserved to be hit.  Ken Never deserved to be hit.

And finally, in another post she refers to "hours of disciplining".

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When our first daughter had her first and last "temper tantrum," we had no idea it would take hours of disciplining

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The first time our children had a temper tantrum or refused to obey us, around 18 months, Ken and I would take turns telling them to pick up the toys {or whatever they were refusing to do} and then give them a swat on their bottom if they wouldn't do it.  With all four of our children, it took almost four long, difficult hours.

These "non-violent" people spent "four long hours" hitting an 18 month old.  Let that sink in.  
 

[squiddysquid]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Boy, did I get it  from some of you for flicking my babies' cheeks when they were nursing and bit me.  I only had to do it once to each of them and they stopped.  I did it hard enough that they cried.

Can a native speaker please tell me the exact meaning of flicking someone's cheek? That means something similar to snipping your fingers, right?

Not that it matters since they were  freaking BABIES.

I mean seriously even dogs give their puppies an all pass on every behaviour up to a certain age.

If they understand that babies just don't know any better and nothing is intentional, then Lori should have that capacity too?

But are we talking snipping to fingers on their cheeks or full hand slapping them? (i mean WTF)

She said it made them cry.

Now babies usually laugh when you boop their nose with your finger or poke their belly button, so WHAT THE FUCK did she do?

[usmcmom]

4 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

Can a native speaker please tell me the exact meaning of flicking someone's cheek? That means something similar to snipping your fingers, right?

Not that it matters since they were  freaking BABIES.

I mean seriously even dogs give their puppies an all pass on every behaviour up to a certain age.

If they understand that babies just don't know any better and nothing is intentional, then Lori should have that capacity too?

But are we talking snipping to fingers on their cheeks or full hand slapping them? (i mean WTF)

She said it made them cry.

Now babies usually laugh when you boop their nose with your finger or poke their belly button, so WHAT THE FUCK did she do?

Picture taking your first or middle finger and, bracing it with your thumb, relasing that finger with a lot of force - like you'd flick a dead fly off of a picnic table. I think that's what she was doing and I know it can hurt becaus my brothers  used to do it to me when we were kids.