Lori Alexander 46: She Sure Is Highly Edumacated

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Can't. Stop. Laughing. 

 

Anyone who's been to ebil therapy learns very quickly that no one can fix another person. The second real world part of that lesson, a lesson that Lori desparately needs, is that we can only fix ourselves. Also, unconditional means just that, without conditions. "Speaking the truth in love" to "help" others isn't unconditional. It's Lori's license to be a judgemental bitch. I'm an athiest but I'm pretty sure that that wasn't Jesus' message.

[fluffy]

Imma gonna leave this here. 

[Maggie Mae]

No, Lori, you ARE abusive. Maybe Ken doesn't think so, but you are certainly abusive to your "followers" and readers. 

[Koala]

1 hour ago, fluffy said:

Imma gonna leave this here. 

Oh my fucking god, just no.  Good husbands don't hit their wives.  People who hit ARE abusers.  Lori is an abuser!  We knew she hit her kids, and now we find out she hit her husband.  Just when I think their marriage can't get any worse, I read (in Lori's own writing) that there was spousal abuse involved.  Christ, what on earth makes these people think they should be giving marriage advice?  Lori should have been arrested for fuck's sake.  

And who is she to set the guidelines for how many times you get to hit someone before you are abusing them?  Do the abusers get to decide that now?  Because I am thinking based on the fact that she hit every single person in her family, she should not be the one to decide what's abuse....

I can't just see it now-

"Sorry officer, you'll have to ignore the swelling and bruising on my husband's face.  *Air-headed BUT feminine giggle*  You see, this is the first time I hit him, so it's not really abuse at all!  *shakes head stupidly*  

Fuck.  I am just...wow.  Fuck.

[SuperNova]

From the National Domestic Violence Hotline website:

What Is Domestic Violence?

Does your partner ever….

Insult, demean or embarrass you with put-downs?

Control what you do, who you talk to or where you go?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Push you, slap you, choke you or hit you?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Control the money in the relationship? Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

Make all of the decisions without your input or consideration of your needs?

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away your children?

Prevent you from working or attending school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal, deny the abuse or tell you it’s your own fault?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

Attempt to force you to drop criminal charges?

Threaten to commit suicide, or threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. 

There's a number of other items on the list that easily apply to Ken and Lori.

[TeddyBonkers]

Oh FUCK NO. That's just all sorts of wrong. Lori is an abuser, not just because she hit Ken, but because she hit her children. 

And that's just the physical side, there's a whole suitcase to unpack on the emotional side.

[Koala]

I may be the only one, but for some reason this changes this whole deal for me.  The idea that a spousal abuser wrote a book on marriage, is just absolutely INSANE to me.  I HOPE her readers see what she said.  I HOPE they realize that they are getting their advice from a woman who abused her husband, and doesn't even acknowledge that it was abuse.  Forget all of the modesty pictures.  THIS is what I hope they see.  This colors every.single.bit of the advice Lori gives out on spousal abuse.

And I'll tell you something else for free- a lot of abusers say it was "just once", but I am goddamned if I believe any of them.  

You, Lori ARE an abuser.  Hitting your kids with that leather strap was abuse, and hitting your husband was abuse.  I don't care how you justify it, or what you call it.  It's ABUSE!  You should have gone to jail!

[dairyfreelife]

1 hour ago, fluffy said:

Imma gonna leave this here. 

Funny but not funny...I was just thinking that if anyone was abusive in their marriage, it was probably Lori despite Ken saying it was okay to pin a wife to the wall. Not only was Lori a passive aggressive, manipulative, arrogant, entitled bitch, she's a physically abusive asshole as well. 

Thank goodness most women are NOT like her, despite her thinking so. If someone wants to know how to have a good relationship...just do the opposite of what Lori and Ken did or are currently doing. 

[EowynW]

2 hours ago, fluffy said:

Imma gonna leave this here. 

If my husband hit me I'd be out the door. 

[HoneyBunny]

Funny, I don’t recall Carolyn Ingalls or Olivia Walton ever hitting their husbands. I don’t remember June Cleaver doing it either.

 We already knew Lazy Lori is a self admitted taker, and bossy to her family and cruel to her children and husband. Now we find out she’s a criminal too.

There is nothing redeeming about this bitch. 

[Koala]

6 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

Funny, I don’t recall Carolyn Ingalls or Olivia Walton ever hitting their husbands. I don’t remember June Cleaver doing it either.

 We already knew Lazy Lori is a self admitted taker, and bossy to her family and cruel to her children and husband. Now we find out she’s a criminal too.

There is nothing redeeming about this bitch. 

I am still sitting her just floored that she so readily admitted to hitting her spouse, and then easily dismissed it and declared that she isn't an abusive person.  

Yes, Lori.  Yes, you are.  You hit people.  You are an abusive person.

[Loveday]

4 hours ago, fluffy said:

Imma gonna leave this here. 

Unbelievable. Absolutely unfrickenbelievable.

Where did you find this? I'm not seeing it on her FB page, so I'm guessing it's a response on someone else's page?

[Demonfan]

Lori is dangerous. Her advice is a dangerous to those who follow it. Her words and actions are dangerous to her family. I cannot imagine the reality of their household. I hope that none of the people who read her blog agree with this latest post. I shudder to think about the abuse that may result from her idiotic rambling. I truly believe that she should not be allowed to give advice. No one is spared in her violent world view.

[purjolok84]

Not fooling myself, but it's really not a big deal in our house, and I hate the dryer and the stupid stigma against drying my clothes on a clothesline outside. It's pathetic, really, that somehow my choice to hang my clothes outside is either "gross" or "brings down housing values" which is just silly. We all have underwear! Who cares! 

No, I wasn't saying you are. It was more a figure of speech, and I'm sorry if I offended you.

Before I moved out, my parents tended to prefer line drying to the dryer except on rainy/stormy days. It wasn't just due to being a cost-effective measure - the feel and smell of clothes and linens dried by the sun and wind was just so much better, especially since we have jasmine bushes next to the line. And it was always nice to be outside to peg/unpeg the clothes - one of the family cats likes to hang around and supervise all garden/laundry duties so it didn't seem like too much of a chore.

I've had relatives who lived in America for work for several years who previously used to line dry - they weren't able to do so because it would make their house seem 'messy'. I personally don't get that - if it's your house, then you should be able to hang your clothes on a line in the backyard without people getting in your face. They had to use a dryer in their basement and while they didn't enjoy it, I'm glad they still had something.

I'm grateful for the inventions we have, but I would never stop someone from using/not using something. I'm sorry @MaggieMae, if I was too emphatic with my opinion and upset you. It was not my intent.

[purjolok84]

And will always be the most fun. [emoji173]

[feministxtian]

Marry the one you can't live without. Marry the one who makes you laugh. Marry the one who thinks you're just the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Marry the one who makes you melt when he looks at you. Marry the one who drive you bonkers at times. Marry the one who, when he puts his arms around you, makes you feel safe. 

Well...if anybody wanted my unsolicited (and usually bad) advice. 

[purjolok84]

@feministxtian No way, your advice is always up there for me. Never sell yourself short. [emoji4]

@koala I'd be a bit (just a bit) more inclined to believe Lori when she claims that she's not an abusive person if she sounded remorseful or horrified by what she did to Ken or her children.

 

But she excuses her actions: 'one slap isn't abusive'; 'God and the Bible command me to hit my children'. That's what abusers do - not people who want to work through their problems and have a more peaceful, equal relationship with family and friends, either together or apart.

 

But then I don't feel Lori is capable of the depth of thinking and emotional work it would take to do this. Manipulation is much easier and she has shown she is exceptional at it. Why should she change now?

 

 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

8 hours ago, Demonfan said:

I hope that none of the people who read her blog agree with this latest post. I shudder to think about the abuse that may result from her idiotic rambling.

It looks like her post already had 3 likes when the screen shot was taken.    

[Curious]

On 5/23/2018 at 12:42 PM, squiddysquid said:

It's possible, but I don't think so, still it would be wise to check, just to be on the safe side.

I think she is just showing her true colours now, similar to Derick Dillard.

And a lot of people get nastier with age. At some point they've driven away all their friends, their kids are no longer living with them.

(Seems like even her church community doesn't really want to have anything to do with her and haven't they changed curches multiple times?) She's getting lonier as time moves on, so she's lashing out.

I'm way behind after spending several days battling with the forum itself. I'm so sorry for your loss @usmcmom

 

Regarding Lori's changing behavior.  When Ken visited us, this was one of the things we brought up because she was getting more strict and bizarre even at that point.  Ken assured us there was nothing wrong with her and she was just fine.  She's only gone further and further down the strict, nasty route since that point.

My grandma LOVED cards.  She and my mom played bridge in a club of some sort where they either hosted 2 other people or they were hosted at another's house every week.    I know she played with other friends as well.

When my grandma passed away, my mom tried to get me into bridge (I was 15), but I was a miserable failure, so my dad had to step in to be her partner.  

[Jellybean]

I’m also miserably bad at bridge. Friends and family have long since realised the error of asking me to make up a four. 

[Curious]

On 5/23/2018 at 2:33 PM, squiddysquid said:

"No, I'm not saying every teacher is demon possessed but you just don't know."

What.the.actual.fuck.

There's an old horror movie where a father goes on a killing spree taking his 2 young sons with him, telling them he has the divine gift of seeing demons hidden inside people.

This slightly reminds me of that.

That's Frailty with the amazing Bill Paxton (Matthew McConaughey & Powers Booth).  I felt insulted you called that movie old.  It's one of my favorites and I thought HEY it's not an old movie.   Then I realized it came out 17 years ago.  I feel old.

[squiddysquid]

28 minutes ago, Curious said:

That's Frailty with the amazing Bill Paxton (Matthew McConaughey & Powers Booth).  I felt insulted you called that movie old.  It's one of my favorites and I thought HEY it's not an old movie.   Then I realized it came out 17 years ago.  I feel old.

Thanks! I tried to look it up but couldn't remember the name.

You know what makes me feel old? Buffy came out in 1996

(But rewatching an old episode, I realised how much better my generation had it growing up.

That Twilight crap really wreaked havoc on feminism.)

[Curious]

On 5/23/2018 at 5:34 PM, Pink Muffin said:

I think I have to add to my previous post:

My mom and I had issues but I was there when she was sick. She was in a nursing home and me and my brother went there once a week to visit her on the weekends, under the weekdays we both had work. The last week of my mothers life I didn´t work but was visiting her for hours a day. And her last day I was there the whole day, I hold her hand when she draw her last breath.

I was not on Facebook or Instagram posting.

 

My parents were estranged for some years when they died.  My dad died before my mom.  I found out a few months after when the attorney sent me the notice of death from the newspaper.  His death wasn't particularly hard on me (he was not my bio dad, though he raised me from 10 and I did consider him my dad, we were estranged for reasons though).   My mom died about 8 or so months after he did.  My ex-husband was the executor of their will (which probably tells you part of the reason we were estranged) and because he is a colossal dick he didn't bother to notify me.  I found out (again) via the attorney letting me know I was named in her will almost a year after she actually died.  (An aside: My ex told me that my mother's deathbed wish was for him not to tell me she passed. As much as we were estranged, I know my mom and don't feel like she would have wasted her time with something like that.  Even if she did, if I were in that place, I would keep it to myself so as not to hurt the person that just lost a parent, but then I'm not a colossal dick).

Anyway, her death hit me FAR harder than I expected.  She had MS and related issues for years and I knew she hadn't been doing well (I called the Nursing home they were in for updates periodically) so it wasn't like I was shocked she passed away.  I knew she was essentially starving herself (something I blame on my father) since he passed, so it wasn't going to be years and years before she went.

I cried A LOT.   I don't know that I felt (feel) guilt exactly because I did try to reconcile several times after I moved out here and there was more space between us.  People don't change though and even though I was trying it was very one-sided (and bad for me mentally).  I felt a lot more than I expected though and I find it still hits me at odd times (I'm getting teary here for example) and I get depressed.  I was very depressed for about 6 months after I learned she had passed.  I just let myself wallow until I was tired of that and decided I needed to go back to living.

We may not have gotten along since I was about 13-14, but she was still my mom and I remember what she was like when I was younger and she was basically my entire world.  I have lots of good memories of those times when she was a single mom and it was just her and I against the world.

Somehow, I don't think Lori is deep enough to actually mourn another person.  I question whether she can even love (in the way that most people do) another person.  She's so cruel to the people that should be closest to her that I kind of thing she won't miss a beat when her mom passes other than to use it for blog fodder to generate more attention for herself.

On 5/23/2018 at 3:55 PM, Koala said:

Yep.  We buy Sam's Choice, and it's 28 bottles for 3.98 (approx. 14 cents a bottle).  That stuff Lori is drinking is approx 95 cents a bottle.  Lord knows what she paid if she got it from a vending machine.  

We get either Safeway, Walmart or my new favorite Lidl.  Lidl has 24 pack for $1.87!  The Lidl just opened up here a few months ago and it has really great prices.  We feed our dogs "human food" (raw and cooked) and it's cut our dog food bill by nearly 1/2.

I reuse bottles for my tea from the tea machine and then we recycle them (after a few uses) so I don't feel *too* horrible about the carbon footprint you have when using them.

[SongRed7]

17 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Can't. Stop. Laughing. 

WOW...me either...stop trying to fix people. hahahahaha  Good one...all those things I said about leggings, and staying home, and no careers, and making nourishing food, and having 12-packs of kids....kidding!  You are fine just the way you are...Except you aren't. HAHAHAHA

 

my head is spinning

[Curious]

22 hours ago, Koala said:

The theme?  Tricking yourself into being kind to your husband. 

Lori- You shouldn't have to trick yourself into being kind to your spouse.  That should be your default.  Why would you marry someone who you wanted to change (as you said you wanted to change Ken)?  You encourage other women to marry even if they haven't developed feelings for their potential spouse.  

Earlier this week, my husband let something fall through the cracks and it was BAD for ME!!!  Like really bad.  Emergency bad (I'm fine).  When I finally was able to get hold of him and tell him what was going on and found out that it was something he should have done but forgot I was LIVID.  SO SO SO mad.

So what did I do you might ask?  When he apologized I said it was ok.  When he asked if I needed him to come home I said nope nothing you can do and I'm fine now.   Then I talked to a couple friends and told them how incredibly mad I was.

Once I took a pain pill and felt better I stopped being mad.  I knew it was an accident. By the time he got home, I was able to joke about it with him.   I'm sure he has an idea I wasn't happy because he knows me, but I didn't treat him badly for making a mistake.   I have a feeling that isn't how it would have gone down in Lori and Ken's house.