Alyssa & John: Life With Three Daughters

[LawsonBatesEgo]

For all of their sakes, I hope John and Alyssa have decided to have their kids early and close together and then intentionally shut up shop on the baby production line. 

I know a few people who did this - they had 2 or 3 kids very close together (4 in the case of one couple who went back for a third an last child and got twins) and then stopped because they wanted to get the demanding baby/toddler years over in "one extended hit" rather than "getting out and going back" to it a couple of times, and it also means you get the kids out of the house earlier than if you have big age gaps.

Alyssa doesn't seem like someone who would like the lifestyle of having a huge family. She likes quiet and nice clothes. She is making it work with 3 kids, which is impressive because most people I know with 3 kids complain a lot about money (are they in a low COL part of Florida?), but her lifestyle of nice clothes won't be sustainable if she has 10 kids. 

[SassyPants]

45 minutes ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

For all of their sakes, I hope John and Alyssa have decided to have their kids early and close together and then intentionally shut up shop on the baby production line. 

I know a few people who did this - they had 2 or 3 kids very close together (4 in the case of one couple who went back for a third an last child and got twins) and then stopped because they wanted to get the demanding baby/toddler years over in "one extended hit" rather than "getting out and going back" to it a couple of times, and it also means you get the kids out of the house earlier than if you have big age gaps.

Alyssa doesn't seem like someone who would like the lifestyle of having a huge family. She likes quiet and nice clothes. She is making it work with 3 kids, which is impressive because most people I know with 3 kids complain a lot about money (are they in a low COL part of Florida?), but her lifestyle of nice clothes won't be sustainable if she has 10 kids. 

And I just would like ask this very basic question: devoid of being independently wealthy (so that no parent needs to work) or having a reality TV show, who does having a dozen + number of children actually benefit? The harried parents? The starved for attention (and for many, food) children? Society? Just who benefits here? Men like Gothard? How is this practice good for any individual or society at large?

Even the o-so-organized married Maxwell can't seem to operate without the additional help of Maxwell Sistermoms, and they only have a max of 5 kids-

[HerNameIsBuffy]

19 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

And I just would like ask this very basic question: devoid of being independently wealthy (so that no parent needs to work) or having a reality TV show, who does having a dozen + number of children actually benefit? The harried parents? The starved for attention (and for many, food) children? Society? Just who benefits here? Men like Gothard? How is this practice good for any individual or society at large?

Even the o-so-organized married Maxwell can't seem to operate without the additional help of Maxwell Sistermoms, and they only have a max of 5 kids-

It's hard to recruit new cult members.  Much easier to order your current followers to make more with stuff they have lying around the house...like a human DIY project.

It's not like Gothard has to feed, clothe, or educate them.  Then again when it comes to education neither do their parents.

[HideousGreenShirt]

Alyssa has posted an every day makeup tutorial on her instagram. She does a decent job but I can't help chuckling at her using the Urban Decay Naked eye and face palettes (she lists Half Baked and Virgin), Man Eater liner, They're Real mascara and Nars lipstick. (Nars is well known for risqué shade names.)

I like to picture her at Ulta/Sephora with a sales advisor discussing whether the Better Than Sex mascara or Nars' Orgasm blush would be suit her more than her current favourite products.

[miss_batson]

Are these John's brothers and sisters with their familes? 

 

[VBOY9977]

7 minutes ago, miss_batson said:

Are these John's brothers and sisters with their familes? 

 

Only John’s brothers. I don’t see Elizabeth or Tori (his sisters)

[WhiteRun]

5 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Alyssa has posted an every day makeup tutorial on her instagram. She does a decent job but I can't help chuckling at her using the Urban Decay Naked eye and face palettes (she lists Half Baked and Virgin), Man Eater liner, They're Real mascara and Nars lipstick. (Nars is well known for risqué shade names.)

I like to picture her at Ulta/Sephora with a sales advisor discussing whether the Better Than Sex mascara or Nars' Orgasm blush would be suit her more than her current favourite products.

In the comments of that post, Alyssa actually said she used Nars' Orgasm lipstick. I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when she saw the names of Nars products. Deep thoat, orgasm, sex appeal, sexual healing...oh my!

[habert]

8 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

She does a decent job but I can't help chuckling at her using the Urban Decay Naked eye and face palettes (she lists Half Baked and Virgin), Man Eater liner, They're Real mascara and Nars lipstick. (Nars is well known for risqué shade names.)

When I saw I had the same thoughts lol, especially when she used “half baked” I was like Alyssa, you do know that’s a double entendre for baked goods and baked people, yes???

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, miss_batson said:

Are these John's brothers and sisters with their familes? 

 

I kind of love when they post stuff like this. It makes it much harder for people to ignore the fact that John and Alyssa likely still have the same crappy core beliefs as the rest of their families. They could change with time, but I don’t see that happening unless something dramatic happens that forces them to reevaluate their beliefs - and even then, it’s not a guarantee. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I feel as long as the Bates, like the Duggars, are reaping financial benefit and accolades for their shitty beliefs they are unlikely to examine their beliefs to any real extent. I have never seen a Bates show the degree of thoughtfulness that say Ben Seewald has. They just don't read as a "deep, thoughtful" bunch to me. (I acknowledge this is skewed by the Bates not getting the same level of media scrutiny as the Duggars. In all fairness, there are few fudies who seem genuinely thoughtful and deep.) All that to say, they seem to enjoy "getting by on their looks and fashion sense." 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 hours ago, habert said:

When I saw I had the same thoughts lol, especially when she used “half baked” I was like Alyssa, you do know that’s a double entendre for baked goods and baked people, yes???

Not always.  My mom and grandma used that expression back in the dark ages and either would be shocked to know it had a pot reference.

It's probably true in that the manufacture probably meant it that way, but plenty of people wouldn't associate that with pot.

[freethemall]

I feel like Alyssa must have somehow seen some of the comments here about how in her instagram promotions she was coming off cold and unenthusiastic, because all of a sudden she's had a few with some forced smiles.

In re: makeup tutorial - I wear a "full face" everyday but DAMN that's a lot of makeup for "everyday"! Especially with 3 kids. I have 1 kid and thought I wore a lot, which generally consists of - tinted BB cream, concealer, foundation powder, blush/bronzer (I like the combo ones), eyebrow pencil, sometimes eye liner, mascara, chapstick, sometimes lipstick. I can't imagine doing all the eyeshadow for an everyday look.

[VelociRapture]

23 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Alyssa has posted an every day makeup tutorial on her instagram. She does a decent job but I can't help chuckling at her using the Urban Decay Naked eye and face palettes (she lists Half Baked and Virgin), Man Eater liner, They're Real mascara and Nars lipstick. (Nars is well known for risqué shade names.)

I like to picture her at Ulta/Sephora with a sales advisor discussing whether the Better Than Sex mascara or Nars' Orgasm blush would be suit her more than her current favourite products.

I watched it and realized I’d be a horrible fundie. I am far too lazy to put that much effort into looking nice on a normal day. 

[JillyO]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I watched it and realized I’d be a horrible fundie. I am far too lazy to put that much effort into looking nice on a normal day. 

Agreed. I slap some make-up on my face to go to work (nowhere near as elaborate as Alyssa's routine), but if I were a SAHM, I would hang out in yoga pants and a bare face all day, every day.

[just_ordinary]

I use a concealer under my eyes, a brow pencil, rouge for cheeks and a little bit in my eyelids, mascara and maybe lipstick. And that is only when I have/want to look good. 

A full face of makeup means makeup and darker colours on the eyes lids and eyeliner.

For me full make up starts to feel uncomfortable after some hours and I find that it ages you. It looks great on photos or from a bit of a distance but if you see the people close up (like 30cm close) in real life it really isn’t as flattering anymore. 

[DundeeUnFundie]

I'm on a mission to 'love the skin I'm in' so the most I wear these days is concealer, eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. However... I'm going to a ball tonight, and it'll be the most makeup I've worn in about a year ? my skin will probably hate me tomorrow, but I'll look good for the photos

[HarleyQuinn]

To be fair, My every day usually consists of shadow, liner, mascara, CC cream, concealer, and foundation - sometimes more than one shadow, and I can do all that in 2 minutes. You get quick once you've been at it for a while. 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

To be fair, My every day usually consists of shadow, liner, mascara, CC cream, concealer, and foundation - sometimes more than one shadow, and I can do all that in 2 minutes. You get quick once you've been at it for a while. 

Oh I know you can do it fast with practice. I figured that’s how Alyssa and other moms are likely able to look put together on a regular basis. It’s the practice part I’m too lazy for right now.

(Plus I have a toddler and she isn’t always very patient while I get ready. No idea where she got that from.  )

 

[JMO]

They've both put up posts about being away for the weekend. I'm calling it. August 3, 2019 Baby Girl Webster #4. I also want to say that his posts are straight up bordering on bizarre to me. The music choices always seem off.  On the other hand she looks fantastic for having 3 kids in 3 yrs and the youngest is what, 7 months old?  

[LawsonBatesEgo]

There is a meme around around on Instagram saying something like "It's scary how willing I am to go out in public looking like crap these days" and I feel it on a spiritual level. I used to be so bad about not wanting to go out unless my hair and makeup were done nicely, and now I put on a little bit of BB cream to cover some old acne scarring I am a bit self concious about, a tinted lipbalm so my face has a little colour to stop me looking like a walking corpse, fill in the weird awkward bald patch on one of my eyebrows, throw dry shampoo in my hair and put it in a bun and consider myself done. 

[nokidsmom]

On 11/8/2018 at 11:05 AM, Pecansforeveryone said:

I feel as long as the Bates, like the Duggars, are reaping financial benefit and accolades for their shitty beliefs they are unlikely to examine their beliefs to any real extent. I have never seen a Bates show the degree of thoughtfulness that say Ben Seewald has. They just don't read as a "deep, thoughtful" bunch to me. (I acknowledge this is skewed by the Bates not getting the same level of media scrutiny as the Duggars. In all fairness, there are few fudies who seem genuinely thoughtful and deep.) All that to say, they seem to enjoy "getting by on their looks and fashion sense." 

This.  I have always this was true about both families, though IMHO the Duggars have paid somewhat of a price for their shitty beliefs in terms of how they handled Joshgate 1.0 (molestations).     The association with Gothard has not hit the Bateseseses hard enough, though it should have.  

Alyssa has come a ways from her frumper wearing family.  She dresses and looks fairly mainstream, wasted no time after her marriage to wear pants and posts on the internet.  She attends what is a conservative but fairly mainstream church for her area but these are all superficial things.   And frankly, that is how she was raised.  It would be nice if she evaluated her beliefs but she's still pretty young and furthermore, she's not that deep.  It's really not her fault.  She wasn't allowed to be.  Perhaps in time, with more life experience, she will change in this regard, maybe not. 

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

  And frankly, that is how she was raised. 

This is a good point I've never thought of. All the Bates have been raised to be extremely superficial. It was always about appearances for Gil and Kelly, which is why they changed their entire look when frumper fundie fell out of fashion. I doubt most of the Bates could have a deep conversation about what they believe and why they believe it. 

[lumpentheologie]

I don't like putting on much makeup--I can do it, but it makes me anxious and takes forever. That's why everyday makeup = BB cream. That's it. Now I work from home but I used to also put on mascara for work. If I'm going out I'll add eyeliner and lipstick, but that's probably only about once a month. 

I totally have a 12-step skin care routine though, lol. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

19 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

All the Bates have been raised to be extremely superficial.

I've always thought their "look at me!" stances either about their "godliness" and now about their looks is the opposite of modest.

Some people in that family are good looking and boy do they want you to know they know it!

[nokidsmom]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I've always thought their "look at me!" stances either about their "godliness" and now about their looks is the opposite of modest.

Some people in that family are good looking and boy do they want you to know they know it!

Yep, the minute you do the "look at me, I am so godly" while posing nicely in the newest fashions, and presenting the picture perfect image of happy family/couple/whatever (and maybe with a Bible in hand), you are not modest by any measure.  

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I doubt most of the Bates could have a deep conversation about what they believe and why they believe it. 

Maybe Gil and Kelly could fake it but not the the kids.  They have been fed it since the day they were born  and had no choice so really can't blame them for that.    This is why I don't get freaked out when I see Alyssa stumping for her FIL, because I don't think she gives any thought to what she is supporting.   In her mind, she married a nice godly guy who believes like she does, who comes from a nice family who believes like she does.  I don't think she gives it any more thought than that.