Dillards 55: Selling the High Life

[artdecades]

1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

Devon Aoki is 5'5" and she made it happen.  Not all kinds of modeling require height.   

Devon Aoki's father founded Benihana. She was what we would call nepotism models today. Yes she is gorgeous, but she also had an advantage.

[Ivycoveredtower]

after Derick's race.

[EmmieJ]

Quote

Since Israel was going to be turning three the week we were there, we decided to bring the whole family along, even if that meant that, with the little ones in tow, we wouldn’t get to participate all together in every outreach opportunity. Jill and the boys stayed at the hotel some and were able to get together with some family friends part of the time too. The boys ended up starting the trip out with coughs and colds, and by the end, our whole little family had it! 

I think it was on a Naugler thread where there was some discussion of "putting the children first" when you become a parent, and what that means to different people, etc.  Here is an example of what I would call "not putting your children's best interests first."  It's not absolutely horrible to take your little ones on a trip when they have a cold/cough, but if the trip wasn't necessary, then why not keep them at home where they would feel most comfortable and not spread the germs around?  Especially if that means Jill and the kids sitting in a hotel room or on their own without a car to get around?  

No wonder Israel looked rather miserable in those Chick Fil A photos.  

[nausicaa]

56 minutes ago, artdecades said:

Devon Aoki's father founded Benihana. She was what we would call nepotism models today. Yes she is gorgeous, but she also had an advantage.

And what percentage of successful fashion models are under 5'7? Very, very few. Kate Moss and Devon Aoki are all that come to mind right now. Even other nepotism models like Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner are tall. 

Fashion modeling is an industry with far more hopeful participants than there are actual job openings. So designers can demand only models who are exactly 5'10 1/2" with green eyes and red hair and an 0- blood type and there will be more than enough women who fit the bill. 

Jessa Duggar is gorgeous, but no, she could not have "easily been a famous model."  No one can easily be a famous model.

[Cheetah]

I'm going to White-Knight for Jill here....  if her kids just had head colds (congestion, a little coughing, no fever) I don't fault her for taking her kids out and did the same with mine.  Little kids pick up every single virus that's going around and if you stay home every time they have the sniffles you'll all go stir-crazy.  Now if they are actually feeling badly and/or have a fever or gastro symptoms, stay home.  

And on missing school for illness... our psycho school district sends truancy notices if you have more than 5 unexcused absences.  Being sick is only excused if you have a note from the doctor.  I think it's nuts to go to the doctor for a mild virus that goes away in a couple of days... so if you are on your 3rd or 4th one of those for the winter, you start risking getting a truant notice.  Not that those actually mean anything, but they are scaring people into sending sick kids back to school too soon. 

And then there's high school.... where missing a day of school means having to figure out all of the missing class work and homework so your grade doesn't slip.  (My oldest missed more days in her last semester of high school than she did in the first 3 1/2 years.  Not because she was sick more often, but because she could afford to stay home when she was sick because her grades didn't matter any more).  

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, Cheetah said:

I'm going to White-Knight for Jill here....  if her kids just had head colds (congestion, a little coughing, no fever) I don't fault her for taking her kids out and did the same with mine.  Little kids pick up every single virus that's going around and if you stay home every time they have the sniffles you'll all go stir-crazy.  Now if they are actually feeling badly and/or have a fever or gastro symptoms, stay home.  

And on missing school for illness... our psycho school district sends truancy notices if you have more than 5 unexcused absences.  Being sick is only excused if you have a note from the doctor.  I think it's nuts to go to the doctor for a mild virus that goes away in a couple of days... so if you are on your 3rd or 4th one of those for the winter, you start risking getting a truant notice.  Not that those actually mean anything, but they are scaring people into sending sick kids back to school too soon. 

And then there's high school.... where missing a day of school means having to figure out all of the missing class work and homework so your grade doesn't slip.  (My oldest missed more days in her last semester of high school than she did in the first 3 1/2 years.  Not because she was sick more often, but because she could afford to stay home when she was sick because her grades didn't matter any more).  

there was no need for Jill or the boys to even go with Derick. Jill is just a selfish twit who can't stand to be without her #besthubbyever

[SassyPants]

6 minutes ago, Cheetah said:

I'm going to White-Knight for Jill here....  if her kids just had head colds (congestion, a little coughing, no fever) I don't fault her for taking her kids out and did the same with mine.  Little kids pick up every single virus that's going around and if you stay home every time they have the sniffles you'll all go stir-crazy.  Now if they are actually feeling badly and/or have a fever or gastro symptoms, stay home.  

And on missing school for illness... our psycho school district sends truancy notices if you have more than 5 unexcused absences.  Being sick is only excused if you have a note from the doctor.  I think it's nuts to go to the doctor for a mild virus that goes away in a couple of days... so if you are on your 3rd or 4th one of those for the winter, you start risking getting a truant notice.  Not that those actually mean anything, but they are scaring people into sending sick kids back to school too soon. 

And then there's high school.... where missing a day of school means having to figure out all of the missing class work and homework so your grade doesn't slip.  (My oldest missed more days in her last semester of high school than she did in the first 3 1/2 years.  Not because she was sick more often, but because she could afford to stay home when she was sick because her grades didn't matter any more).  

IMO, it is one thing to push through when you absolutely have to...work, high school, an obligation that you cannot rightly get out of, but these are children with a SAHP (and a half). There was zero compelling reason to take sick kids to elevation when they had respiratory illnesses, especially a baby who was in the Nicu for 2 weeks, including lung issues requiring oxygen therapy.

Nope, that was a Jill centric decision.

[albanuadh_1]

20 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

there was no need for Jill or the boys to even go with Derick. Jill is just a selfish twit who can't stand to be without her #besthubbyever

I don't know Jill's mental or emotional health any more than you do but please explain why there is no need for Jill to be with her husband. How do you know that as a fact? ( Saying this as someone who has gone through more decades than I care to count with panic/anxiety attacks along with bouts  of agoraphobia).

[karen77]

Maybe she was ovulating that week... 

[Ivycoveredtower]

4 minutes ago, albanuadh_1 said:

I don't know Jill's mental or emotional health any more than you do but please explain why there is no need for Jill to be with her husband. How do you know that as a fact? ( Saying this as someone who has gone through more decades than I care to count with panic/anxiety attacks along with bouts  of agoraphobia).

only a selfish twit drags her kids all over because she can't stand to be away from her hubby for a few days  especially when they are sick. I don't give a flying fuck what under lying issues she may have. those kids are all that matter. 

[albanuadh_1]

4 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I don't give a flying fuck

Hope you don't work for mental health...

[Carm_88]

My hair is thin, frizzy, needs to be cut, and sometimes I think that I should just shave my head and get it over with. *sigh* I wouldn't trade my life away for Jill's hair though. #besthubbyever would cause me to contemplate murder. 

[PennySycamore]

to add to what @Ivycoveredtower said, if Jill is suffering from anxiety, she does have family close by so she need not be alone while dWreck is away.

[albanuadh_1]

True, if being alone is her problem. Sometimes the problem stems from bonding too closely with the other, that you feel unsafe without that person. 

 

Again, I didn't state it as a fact. Unless you are a family member or friend, how would any of us know?

[Bad Wolf]

The pressure changes can really hurt your ears, especially with a cold. I flew from England once with a cold, and I was in incredible pain. Decongestants didn't help.

[VelociRapture]

20 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

to add to what @Ivycoveredtower said, if Jill is suffering from anxiety, she does have family close by so she need not be alone while dWreck is away.

It depends on the anxiety and what triggers it to be honest. The only time I felt calm during Velocitoddler’s NICU stay was when I was with her. The rest of the time I suffered horrible anxiety and panic attacks pretty much 24 hours a day, regardless of who else was with me. Not even my mom cuddling me under the bedcovers helped at all. That’s obviously a pretty extreme situation, but simply being with other people doesn’t always help and can sometimes make things worse depending on the type of anxiety and what it stems from. 

(Disclaimer: I’m no Psychologist and am not speculating about Jill’s mental health. I’m just stating that anxiety can be complicated and can really vary between individuals.)

[justoneoftwo]

My LO isn't miserable when he has a cold.  We take him out on walks then, often long ones.  We even took him for a walk in a stroller when he was feeling bad because he wanted to be outside, and to sleep.  It actually really helped him.  

That being said, flying is totally different.  And if it was anything more than a cold it was not okay to expose others.  

[EyesOpen]

We got a letter about my son missing school too much. I couldn’t help that he had a fever and threw up for four days. Now I’m sending them no matter what and let them get sick there and get sent home I guess so they can see they’re actually sick (and I did take him to a doctor who said he had a virus and wrote us a note that he was seen)

[mango_fandango]

Here in Britain we tend to have a 48 hour rule with regards to being ill. I think it refers to 48 hours after the last episode of vomiting/diarrhoea, but as I have kids I don’t know for sure. 

This applies to schools and places like swimming pools etc.

[onekidanddone]

1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

And then there's high school.... where missing a day of school means having to figure out all of the missing class work and homework so your grade doesn't slip.

My kid is eighth grade and I've had to practically sit on top of her to keep home when she sick. Se gets all freaked out if she has to miss class. 

7 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Here in Britain we tend to have a 48 hour rule with regards to being ill. I think it refers to 48 hours after the last episode of vomiting/diarrhoea, but as I have kids I don’t know for sure. 

This applies to schools and places like swimming pools etc.

Our old day center had a rule the kids needed to be fever free (with out using meds) for 24 hours.

[Four is Enough]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

My hair is thin, frizzy, needs to be cut, and sometimes I think that I should just shave my head and get it over with. *sigh* I wouldn't trade my life away for Jill's hair though. #besthubbyever would cause me to contemplate murder. 

I have decent hair, which is wavy, and sometimes waves in very strange ways, but I wouldn't trade for anything of Jill's, particularly her spouse. However! Having #besthubbyever would give me a rich and varied fantasy life, as I derived new and better ways to do him in, and thought about the satisfaction it would bring me....

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, albanuadh_1 said:

True, if being alone is her problem. Sometimes the problem stems from bonding too closely with the other, that you feel unsafe without that person. 

 

Again, I didn't state it as a fact. Unless you are a family member or friend, how would any of us know?

If one has a problem that one feels unsafe if one is not in the physical presence of that other person, one needs very serious help, and should not be getting pregnant and having the responsibility for others' safety and life. 

Nope, sorry.

What we do know is that she did put her own wants over her kids' health and comfort.

Also, she was perfectly well and safe enough to walk around the town for hours without Derick, so there's also that nugget.

[singsingsing]

I don't see why Jill taking her kids to Colorado to be with Derick is the worst thing in the world. They had colds - not really a big deal. Kids have colds all the time. You'd be basically putting your entire life on hold and never leaving the house if you stopped everything for a kid with a cold. And we don't know exactly why she chose to go to Colorado. Maybe the trip was already paid for and they didn't want to lose deposits. Maybe she just really wanted to go, for fun. Maybe Izzy was begging to go. Maybe DERICK was the one who wanted them there with him. I know Jill has a history of seeming overly clingy, but so does Derick. Saying she's a 'selfish twit' because she took her kids on a trip with her husband is ridiculous, in my opinion.

[LilMissMetaphor]

2 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

 I don't give a flying fuck what under lying issues she may have. those kids are all that matter. 

This line of reasoning is problematic.  If the airplane is about to crash, you're not supposed to put your kids' masks on first and deal with your own underlying need for oxygen later.

[NakedKnees]

Regarding hair: up through my mid-teen years, I had hair like Jessa's but darker (and I suspect thicker). I wore it long but not fundie-long. Now I stick to a bob because there is no way I can grow out my hair long and keep it looking good! All it takes is a stressful period of time at work for it to start falling out (the first time it happened I was applying for universities). I also have 50+ greys. She's less than 2 years younger than me, but I sometimes wonder if I never had goals beyond being barefoot and pregnant, then would my life be less stressful? Maybe up until 3 or 4 little kids. Would I resultantly look better?

Years of imbibing probably hasn't helped my appearance in comparison with Jessa's either, lol.

Anyway, this is crazy comparison talk, I know. I assure you that my self-esteem is good and I don't lose sleep over my appearance. That said, I've recently cut back on drinking for the first time ever and I can't believe how much better I think I look. I wonder if that's a fundie beauty secret 

Regarding Jill in CO- I honestly think her social media skills are so piss poor, she's just not doing a good job up putting up the veneer that normally exists on social media. She could have avoided talking about illness, posted nice mountain views, and caught happier pics of a sun-protected Izzy, but she didn't.