Chelsy and John Maxwell 2: On to the Honeymoon Somewhere Warm

[HermioneSparrow]

20 hours ago, freethemall said:

I wonder/hope/bet that the salad was Terri's special layer mayonnaise salad, complete with pizza cutter lettuce. It's a special occasion when the pizza cutter comes out!

Bet it was a pan of salad for all those people

[terranova]

New post about their "family" Christmas day, without the "extended" bits.

 

What strikes me is that they are eating breakfast and it's still pitch black outside. I Googled it, and sunrise was at 7:38am, with some light from 7:08am. Now there might be some interference from flash photography making it look darker than it is, but it's still pretty damned dark out there. So that means they got up, excercised, cooked breakfast and ate it, all before 7:30, ON CHRISTMAS DAY. AND, don't forget, there were no small children around.

As someone who was dragged out of bed by a 3 year old at 5am on Christmas Day this year, my mind is boggled. Don't they even get one morning to sleep in? Or just go back to bed with their bibles and a drink? These people are so cruel to themselves.

[lilith]

28 minutes ago, terranova said:

New post about their "family" Christmas day, without the "extended" bits.

 

What strikes me is that they are eating breakfast and it's still pitch black outside. I Googled it, and sunrise was at 7:38am, with some light from 7:08am. Now there might be some interference from flash photography making it look darker than it is, but it's still pretty damned dark out there. So that means they got up, excercised, cooked breakfast and ate it, all before 7:30, ON CHRISTMAS DAY. AND, don't forget, there were no small children around.

As someone who was dragged out of bed by a 3 year old at 5am on Christmas Day this year, my mind is boggled. Don't they even get one morning to sleep in? Or just go back to bed with their bibles and a drink? These people are so cruel to themselves.

One of Steve’s central maxims for productive Christian life is the whole family having a set bedtime and wake up time. This is not to be altered unless a very special situation arises (though he’s much more lenient with rising early, to climb a mountain, for example, than oversleeping). I believe the current wake up time in Maxhell is 5am, to allow for private time in The Word and exercise before breakfast. Christmas Day would not be any exception.

I wasn’t kidding when I said John may be enjoying his first ever sleep in and first ever unscheduled day on his honeymoon. He may be enjoying that more than the sex.

[nastyhobbitses]

Sarah says that it was their last time with John "single". I have a boyfriend (nowhere near fiance level, but we've known each other for about a year and a half and have been dating for about 8 months) and the only time I say I'm single is when I'm asked about my marital status on official forms. In everyday life, I say that I'm in a relationship/have a boyfriend. She could have said "our last time with John in the house" or "our last time before John and Chelsy marry". 

[lilith]

John is wearing a superman shirt! How scandalously worldly! You’ve lost him Steve......

What the actual fuck is with giving Steve 6 pairs of shoes? I get that he’s meant to try some on and send some back, but they wrapped them all up and put them under the tree. Occasionally I’m reminded that their lunacy isn’t confined to religious matters.

Sarah is never involved in anything with the reversal siblings - she definitely sees herself as seperate from them. There’s no reason she couldn’t have been part of that gift for Teri - she simply chose not to be.

Steve looks different. He’s lost weight (lots of fasts this year) and looks younger. Still exuding smug and crazy eyed though.

I’m glad the extended family isn’t expected to spend Christmas in Maxhell HQ, even though some of the married brother were there for the crack of dawn exercise. I hope they went back home and snuggled with their wives until a decent hour or entertained excited kids, allowing their wives to sleep in.

[Eternalbluepearl]

1 hour ago, terranova said:

These people are so cruel to themselves.

Gosh, this sentence really sums up the Maxwell family. 

I have no clue why they need private Bible reading time plus family Bible time every single day. I'd be reading Twilight (don't judge) or Harry Potter with a Bible cover over it and praying no one noticed. Sarah said her new speaker was perfect for listening to the Bible. Goodness. I'd have some audio books going with headphones on while pretending it was the new testament. 

[lilith]

1 minute ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Gosh, this sentence really sums up the Maxwell family. 

I have no clue why they need private Bible reading time plus family Bible time every single day. I'd be reading Twilight (don't judge) or Harry Potter with a Bible cover it and praying no one noticed. Sarah said her new speaker was perfect for listening to the Bible. Goodness. I'd have some audio books going with headphones on and pretending it was the new testament. 

One of the older (already married at the time) boys once recommended the Left Behind books to Steve and Teri. They used to read them to each other in bed at night. Steve decided they should stop (before they finished the series), not because he objected to the theology, but because they were too invested in the story/excitement and enjoying it too much.

Thats life (or what passes for it) in Maxhell.

[Anonymousguest]

2 hours ago, terranova said:

New post about their "family" Christmas day, without the "extended" bits.

 

What strikes me is that they are eating breakfast and it's still pitch black outside. I Googled it, and sunrise was at 7:38am, with some light from 7:08am. Now there might be some interference from flash photography making it look darker than it is, but it's still pretty damned dark out there. So that means they got up, excercised, cooked breakfast and ate it, all before 7:30, ON CHRISTMAS DAY. AND, don't forget, there were no small children around.

As someone who was dragged out of bed by a 3 year old at 5am on Christmas Day this year, my mind is boggled. Don't they even get one morning to sleep in? Or just go back to bed with their bibles and a drink? These people are so cruel to themselves.

I don't think that photo is from breakfast. You can see the window is light in the one where the guys are making breakfast (look at the photo of John holding a pan of biscuits) and in the photo of them sitting at the table Terri is wearing the vest from "dad and mom got matching vests". And it was definitely light out when they opened gifts. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Hey Arnold! Get in there between Steve and Teri! Good job buddy. Teri needs some warmth and affection. And we know she isn't getting it from Steve. I wonder if Steve resents Arnold.

I want to add that I think John adds a little f*n to that household and I'm guessing it will be boring as hell without him there. 

[HereticHick]

Any guesses as to where the warm honeymoon place is?  The Bontragers actually have Mennonite friends/family in northern Mexico-- in Chihuahua, I think. Do you think they might have gone there?  They could go hiking in places like Copper Canyon.

[Lea]

3 hours ago, lilith said:

One of Steve’s central maxims for productive Christian life is the whole family having a set bedtime and wake up time. This is not to be altered unless a very special situation arises (though he’s much more lenient with rising early, to climb a mountain, for example, than oversleeping). I believe the current wake up time in Maxhell is 5am, to allow for private time in The Word and exercise before breakfast. Christmas Day would not be any exception.

I wasn’t kidding when I said John may be enjoying his first ever sleep in and first ever unscheduled day on his honeymoon. He may be enjoying that more than the sex.

Oh my word. I never knew this. 5am. 5 AM!!!!!!!! When you don't have to wake up at that time!??!?

The fact that grown-ass adult humans tolerate being woken up at five AM by their parents for no concrete reason boggles my mind more than just about anything I've learned so far about Fundyland.

What would he do if they just rolled over and hit the snooze? Like, would he literally drag them out of bed or punish them somehow??

[Lea]

19 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Here is Steve going on about having his piping re-attached in 2010.  At extreme length with a verbosity and prolixity unknown today.  He feels so bad that he got snipped in the first place because they could have had so many more children!

As he "reflected on the physics of intimacy."  

http://articles.titus2.com/we-ve-reversed-a-bad-decision/

I had never read this before....this is so disturbing.

1) The whole paragraph at the beginning which basically says "women....don't come here and read this and try to use it to argue with your man!"

2) The argument that "If that had been God’s intent, however, He would have designed that into the “system” at creation," when he's talking about limiting/planning your children. So....we shouldn't use any system that wasn't "designed at creation?" And he's typing that on a BLOG POST on a COMPUTER? This family has no sense of irony.

3) The last time he uses Teri's name is in this sentence: "I told Teri that I was going to find out what the Lord had to say about children and settle the matter right then." He's already said she is struggling with extreme depression and three children is enough to handle. But once he's "settled the matter"....he doesn't not use her name again for the entire blog post. He never says how he talked to her about it or how she felt about it herself. It's just "we did....".
I mean, I'm not truly surprised, but I just had not realized the level of control at play. That poor woman!!

[Jana814]

Steve is an asshole plain and simple. Teri was struggling with 3 kids yet he decided he wanted more kids. He didn't care how his wife felt about this. He only cared about himself. 

[Palimpsest]

17 minutes ago, Lea said:

Like, would he literally drag them out of bed or punish them somehow??

The Maxwells don't punish.  They have consequences.

No, Steve would take away the adult child's car keys.  Then he would cry and pray.  Teri would weep and pray.  The siblings would cry and weep.  A special family meeting would be held so the whole family could cry, weep, and pray over the sinner until the sinner wept. 

And then they would all fast.

I wonder what they did on New Year's Eve this year.  Usually they cry, weep, fast and pray over the sins of the world.

2 minutes ago, Lea said:

He's already said she is struggling with extreme depression and three children is enough to handle. But once he's "settled the matter"....he doesn't not use her name again for the entire blog post. He never says how he talked to her about it or how she felt about it herself. It's just "we did....".
I mean, I'm not truly surprised, but I just had not realized the level of control at play. That poor woman!!

Yes.  That really is one of Steve's most disturbing Dad's Corners.  

[Coconutwater]

I bet Steve has been making John fast through the whole wedding process as a way to punish him because he stepped out of line. Might explain why he looks sickly thin. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Chelsy is going to fatten him up so quickly we will think both of the newlyweds are pregnant. 

[Lea]

13 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

No, Steve would take away the adult child's car keys.  Then he would cry and pray.  Teri would weep and pray.  The siblings would cry and weep.  A special family meeting would be held so the whole family could cry, weep, and pray over the sinner until the sinner wept. 

^^^^Is this you being funny/hyperbolic? This can't be what they do?!?....these are their adult children!

Clearly, I have much learning to do on this family, but I don't know if I can take it. The only way you keep seven adult children toeing that line with no one running off is through some serious mind games.

[nausicaa]

51 minutes ago, Lea said:

Oh my word. I never knew this. 5am. 5 AM!!!!!!!! When you don't have to wake up at that time!??!?

The fact that grown-ass adult humans tolerate being woken up at five AM by their parents for no concrete reason boggles my mind more than just about anything I've learned so far about Fundyland.

Every single day, they wake up at 5am, do their private Bible time, then do their group Bible time (led by Steve), do the same exercises in the basement (because all adults enjoy the exact same type of workout), shower, get ready for the day, and have breakfast together (the food served mapped out on a weekly chart). 

Steve has been training these kids from day one to obey his word and never question anything. It wouldn't even occur to Sarah at this point to sleep in. I think they'd be terrified of a day without a schedule. 

I actually think the early rising is to limit any temptation on the part of the adult kids to stay up late and "get in trouble (i.e., have independent thoughts or start their own projects). The entire family goes to bed between 8:30 and 9 pm. Most young adults have far more energy than most sixty-somethings, and I think Steve knows he needs to keep that simmered down as much as possible. 

And @Palimpsest isn't being hyperbolic. Steve and Teri often employ weeping and gnashing of teeth to keep their children in line. Of the things we know, Christopher was not allowed to become an EMT and Mary was no longer allowed to sew because she was enjoying it too much. The entire family also essentially sat shiva the night after Nathan got married and moved all the way across the street. 

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, Lea said:

Is this you being funny/hyperbolic? This can't be what they do?!?....these are their adult children!

I was being funny, or trying to be, but it is probably not far off.  The Maxwells cry and weep at the drop of a hat.  Children were wept over copiously for being normal little munchkins (like John) when Teri  was at the height of her depression.  Off the top of my head, consequences included:

• arguing children being left in the car eating crackers while the rest of the family went to Taco Bell.
• children who didn't put their belongings and clothes away made to carry them around the house and wear them in layers.
• Prayers.  Many prayers.  And much guilt.

They eventually "broke" John, who was the hardest child to raise.  I'm sure the emotionally abusive (IMO) weeping, praying and guilting still work.

And the weeping, wailing, and praying on NYE is absolutely accurate.

And what @nausicaa, said.  Everything they enjoyed too much was taken away.

[Foudeb]

It can't all be fear of punishment. I bet there's loads of emotional blackmail - "but sleeping in would mean your mother doesn't get to see you at breakfast. This will make her sad. Do you want to make her sad? Do you remember how bad her depression can be? Do you want to be the one to push her back into the dark side? The choice is yours of course, I am only your father. The best I can do is stand by your mother as she suffers through what you're about to do... And you know what, I blame myself. I failed you as a father. I am going to stop eating until you change your mind, maybe if I pray hard enough for my sins you will see your own."

Along with a holier-than-thou, fortress mentality. "Well of course the heathens get up late, they're all lazy. I'm so lucky to have children who willingly get up at 5 without making a fuss. Truly blessed. You're such good children. You in particular got up at 4:50 three days in a row now, I've noticed how good you've been. Now sibling X isn't as good, I'm told they joked about hitting snooze... Well it's not my place to correct them, they are old enough to know better... Why yes a good Christian would make sure such jokes are nipped in the bud... why yes the spirit of Jesus could bring you to have a serious chat with that sibling when they next make jokes like that... After all we know how it works, one day you hit snooze, next day you're off having multiple abortions for fun, amirite? oh no don't worry I'm sure sibling X can be redeemed through the power of our Lord and extensive praying, weeping and fasting... yes as the head of the family if they were to voluntarily give me their car keys for a while as a sign of true repentance of course I would keep hold of them...  Anything I can do to save their eternal souls."

[Lea]

10 minutes ago, Foudeb said:

It can't all be fear of punishment. I bet there's loads of emotional blackmail - "but sleeping in would mean your mother doesn't get to see you at breakfast. This will make her sad. Do you want to make her sad? Do you remember how bad her depression can be? Do you want to be the one to push her back into the dark side? The choice is yours of course, I am only your father. The best I can do is stand by your mother as she suffers through what you're about to do... And you know what, I blame myself. I failed you as a father. I am going to stop eating until you change your mind, maybe if I pray hard enough for my sins you will see your own."

^^^^^Yes, you are exactly right. You cannot keep able-bodied adults "in line" in any other way. You can't spank them or physically force them. It's mainly mind games.

Your paragraph is giving me shivers and moderately terrifying flashbacks.....

[Elegant Mess]

48 minutes ago, Lea said:

 The argument that "If that had been God’s intent, however, He would have designed that into the “system” at creation," when he's talking about limiting/planning your children. So....we shouldn't use any system that wasn't "designed at creation?" And he's typing that on a BLOG POST on a COMPUTER? This family has no sense of irony.
 

So, Steve, about those chore packs you sold, could you point out where in the Bible it talks about these?  I'm confused.  

[Lea]

@nausicaa--If I dive into the blog from the beginning, am I going to find this whole, sad tale? Or should I stick to the FJ forums?

[formergothardite]

The Christmas morning pictures show how John seems to be the bright light in that house. He made Anna hunt for her gift and then had a *fun*, unscheduled contest with her. I think the reversals will really miss him. 

Being on his own without Steve breathing down his neck every five seconds and having a wife who also appears to enjoy fun might open up a whole new world to him. Sure he will stay fundie as hell, but he might do something crazy for a Maxwell like read a book for enjoyment. Or even play an innocent game on his phone. 

[formergothardite]

31 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

The entire family also essentially sat shiva the night after Nathan got married and moved all the way across the street. 

People who are new to the Maxwells, this isn't an exaggeration. You would have thought he had started on the Oregon Trail and they would never see him again. 

Quote

 

Steve and I had agreed not to “think” until Saturday night after the wedding. We knew if we “thought” we would be likely to cry even though our hearts were filled with joy. We ended up being too tired to “think” even on Saturday night. However, we did discover that it is best not to be left alone or one does cry. We took our guests across the street to see Nathan's house—Sarah cried when she stayed back here alone with the little ones who were getting ready for bed.

Joseph and John cried when they went to bed Saturday night. By Sunday morning four of our younger children had croupy coughs so I stayed home from church with them. Off and on during the morning, I cried. The mixed emotions are so amazing - absolute joy over the future Nathan and Melanie have together but mixed with the realization that a son and brother, who has been loved and an integral part of the family for twenty-five years, is leaving home.

 

He left home and moved across the street! He is still very much an integral part of their family! 

http://www.titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html