Chelsy and John Maxwell 2: On to the Honeymoon Somewhere Warm

[Palimpsest]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

"The yogurt. Am other wedding eeewwwww, gag, if it's what I think it means.   Modesty--bah!"

Huh? 

I think she probably ate a yogurt because she hadn't eaten much all day and it is an easily packed snack.  However, the probiotics in yogurt are supposed to help with UTIs.  Cystitis is also known as the honeymoon disease.

 

[lilith]

Re taking the kidults car keys - I’m not at all sure that Anna and Mary drive. The boys all get their own vehicles, and Sarah did learn to drive, albeit rather late, but we’ve never seen or heard about Anna and Mary driving. I bet Sarah just chaueffers/chaperones them whenever they do “girl” things. Sarah’s never been infantilised in quite the same way the reversal kids are. She certainly doesn’t get to be a full adult, but then, neither does Teri. But she did much of the practical care of the Reversals, and she seems to get small privileges, like driving, visits to married friends, the twin bed instead of the bunks in the girls room, as a reward. Yes, see are the “privileges” of a woman in her mid thirties, but it’s more than her sisters get.

[OhNoNike]

The yogurt thing.  I thought it was because of the “frequent sex can cause vaginal issues”?  Wasn’t there a theory of that on here somewhere?

ETA- UTIs?

[lilith]

2 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

The yogurt thing.  I thought it was because of the “frequent sex can cause vaginal issues”?  Wasn’t there a theory of that on here somewhere?

I very much doubt Nathan and Melanie had frequent honeymoon sex. Nathan had a bucketload of guilt and 25 years of celibacy to deal with. I’d be suprised if Melanie spent more than 45 minutes, total, enjoying sweet fellowship on her honeymoon.

[Jana814]

26 minutes ago, lilith said:

Re taking the kidults car keys - I’m not at all sure that Anna and Mary drive. The boys all get their own vehicles, and Sarah did learn to drive, albeit rather late, but we’ve never seen or heard about Anna and Mary driving. I bet Sarah just chaueffers/chaperones them whenever they do “girl” things. Sarah’s never been infantilised in quite the same way the reversal kids are. She certainly doesn’t get to be a full adult, but then, neither does Teri. But she did much of the practical care of the Reversals, and she seems to get small privileges, like driving, visits to married friends, the twin bed instead of the bunks in the girls room, as a reward. Yes, see are the “privileges” of a woman in her mid thirties, but it’s more than her sisters get.

Until you said something I never thought that the younger girls don’t have driver licenses. 

[Hane]

Musical interlude here: On my way home  from work, I was listening to the Bette Midler “Hello, Dolly” soundtrack. Now, by the standards of the younguns among us, this musical is pretty tame—some (NOT ME!) might call it cheesy. But it’s charming and optimistic. Dolly’s goal in life is encouraging young things to grow, getting three young people out from under the thumb of the curmudgeonly miser Horace Vandergelder and out to the big city for an adventure—dancing, going to a parade—“and we won’t go home until we’ve kissed a girl/we won’t go home until we fall in love.” It’s all cheerfulness and kindness, and the grumpy Scrooge wakes up to what’s important. 

And it’s the diametric opposite of the life Stevehovah has engineered for his family.

[Jana814]

39 minutes ago, Hane said:

Musical interlude here: On my way home  from work, I was listening to the Bette Midler “Hello, Dolly” soundtrack. Now, by the standards of the younguns among us, this musical is pretty tame—some (NOT ME!) might call it cheesy. But it’s charming and optimistic. Dolly’s goal in life is encouraging young things to grow, getting three young people out from under the thumb of the curmudgeonly miser Horace Vandergelder and out to the big city for an adventure—dancing, going to a parade—“and we won’t go home until we’ve kissed a girl/we won’t go home until we fall in love.” It’s all cheerfulness and kindness, and the grumpy Scrooge wakes up to what’s important. 

And it’s the diametric opposite of the life Stevehovah has engineered for his family.

I saw Hello Dolly back in May. It was a wonderful show. I never thought to compare it to Steve. 

[MamaJunebug]

13 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And what @nausicaa, said.  Everything they enjoyed too much was taken away.

Jesse (or Jo) was enjoying and getting really good at guitar. Bingo bango bongo, it’s an idol and it’s gone. I think the offending one now plays banjo.

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

The yogurt thing.  I thought it was because of the “frequent sex can cause vaginal issues”?  Wasn’t there a theory of that on here somewhere?

ETA- UTIs?

Pretty sure her stomach was tense after not having much appetite prepping for the wedding, and the yogurt Drive was to give her a chance to have a nosh AND calm her nerves.

I mean, c’mon: can you imagine dealing with your future MIL when the woman is wound tighter than a Tesla coil over you “taking” her “baby” ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE STREET?

Come to think of it, Nathan may well have needed the fresh air of a drive, getting away from his parents and their insanity on the wedding day.

Having observed N &M closely if briefly, they seem pretty darned normal and genuinely devoted to each other and their children. 

Also: PSarah’s reportage Of the yogurt Drive would reflect her naïveté, at that time, wouldn’t it? She was only in her early 20s and probably still thought Daddy would quickly vet the godly suitor who was just minutes away from appearing at their door!

She wouldn’t have realized Terifying was making N&M’s Days hell. To PSarah, that was SOP (Standard Operating Procedure). Didn’t ALL moms act like that? 

[Palimpsest]

13 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

ETA- UTIs

Urinary Tract Infections.

9 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Also: PSarah’s reportage Of the yogurt Drive would reflect her naïveté, at that time, wouldn’t it?

I hate to say it, but that whole painful blow by blow of every tiny detail that happened at Nathan and Melanie's wedding was written by Teri.  Sarah is not to blame.

I think it was probably the most F*N and excitement Teri had experienced for years.  And she still got verklemp because the servers junked the stupid seating plan and asked people what they wanted to drink.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Wait. Do Mary and Anna still sleep in bunk beds?

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

hate to say it, but that whole painful blow by blow of every tiny detail that happened at Nathan and Melanie's wedding was written by Teri.  Sarah is not to blam

I had not realized. 

The woman never has had any self awareness, has she?

I'm not snarking, just remarking. But what can be expected of a woman who was left to deal with chronic depression by having  5 more children than she could handle? 

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Wait. Do Mary and Anna still sleep in bunk beds?

I think so, although I can't find the last post that mentioned it.

[singsingsing]

Yeah, I definitely know about yogurt supposedly helping with UTIs or yeast infections, but it's not like that's the only reason people consume yogurt. Millions of men, women, and children eat yogurt as a snack every day. I wouldn't assume a bride eating a cup of yogurt on her wedding day was attempting to preempt a future sex-related UTI, and I generally don't automatically consider yogurt to have sexual connotations, but hey. 

[Fluffles]

On 1/5/2018 at 2:59 PM, Palimpsest said:

I was being funny, or trying to be, but it is probably not far off.  The Maxwells cry and weep at the drop of a hat.  Children were wept over copiously for being normal little munchkins (like John) when Teri  was at the height of her depression.  Off the top of my head, consequences included:

• arguing children being left in the car eating crackers while the rest of the family went to Taco Bell.
• children who didn't put their belongings and clothes away made to carry them around the house and wear them in layers.
• Prayers.  Many prayers.  And much guilt.

They eventually "broke" John, who was the hardest child to raise.  I'm sure the emotionally abusive (IMO) weeping, praying and guilting still work.

And the weeping, wailing, and praying on NYE is absolutely accurate.

And what @nausicaa, said.  Everything they enjoyed too much was taken away.

How did they actually break John. What age was he? I'm just wondering was he truly broken or was he old enough to realise that if he played along he would someday be able to break free. I know the Bontragers are fundie also but nothing can be as bad as living in Maxhell. There have been signs of the middle finger from John to his parents right throughout the engagement and wedding.

 

[Palimpsest]

5 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I wouldn't assume a bride eating a cup of yogurt on her wedding day was attempting to preempt a future sex-related UTI, and I generally don't automatically consider yogurt to have sexual connotations, but hey. 

Neither would I.  But (to channel Sarah Maxwell) some do.

[roomymommy]

23 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

My dogs get Christmas stockings.  They each get a new collar, a new soft toy, and a bag of special treats.  They get a treat and the toy to distract them while we open gifts.  At one point on Christmas morning we noticed them both in perfect sits, one on either side of the mantel, tails wagging frantically, and each of them staring fixedly at their stocking hoping for another treat!

We did a stocking for our dog this Christmas! Mostly just to restock on treats and such, but it was really fun. When our dog wants something, she'll sit, then "sit pretty" with her paws up, then lay down, then "settle" laying on her side. Like "What do you want people?"   

[roomymommy]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And she still got verklemp because the servers junked the stupid seating plan and asked people what they wanted to drink.

 

Cause it was Coke and not Pepsi? 

[SPHASH]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Wait. Do Mary and Anna still sleep in bunk beds?

Probably

[Palimpsest]

28 minutes ago, roomymommy said:

Cause it was Coke and not Pepsi? 

Rufus, no.  It was far worse than that.  It was utter chaos!  Here's the exact quote:

Quote

We headed to the rehearsal dinner early, but since the room was available, we could stand and visit until it was time to eat. Steve and I had gone to great efforts to make the serving of each individual meal easy. We had given the restaurant a diagram of where everyone would sit, had name cards at each seat, a typed list of each order including menu item, drink, name and a number on the order to correspond with seating.

We knew we were in trouble, though, when the waiters came out with glasses in their hands calling out, “Sprite, Sprite, Coke, Coke.” Getting the meals to each place took four waiters, the party room manager, Steve with the order list, and the maid of honor who speaks Spanish!

Or they could have simply let the servers do their jobs and ask people if they had ordered chicken or fish, and sprite or coke.  Everyone at the rehearsal dinner would have been fed eventually.

That wedding post is still a goldmine of snark.  Christopher had to rummage for the ring.  They had cake, punch (without pulp), nuts, and the mints were homemade.  Teri forgot, to her dismay, "to make arrangements" to send Nathan off with some wedding cake.  Nathan threw an armband (in lieu of a garter, I suppose) and they endangered much wildlife by releasing "several hundred" balloons.

http://www.titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html

 

[SPHASH]

23 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Rufus, no.  It was far worse than that.  It was utter chaos!  Here's the exact quote:

Or they could have simply let the servers do their jobs and ask people if they had ordered chicken or fish, and sprite or coke.  Everyone at the rehearsal dinner would have been fed eventually.

That wedding post is still a goldmine of snark.  Christopher had to rummage for the ring.  They had cake, punch (without pulp), nuts, and the mints were homemade.  Teri forgot, to her dismay, "to make arrangements" to send Nathan off with some wedding cake.  Nathan threw an armband (in lieu of a garter, I suppose) and they endangered much wildlife by releasing "several hundred" balloons.

http://www.titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html

 

Griselda Teri and Coward Steve's way of serving with the diagram sounded much more complicated than the wait staff's.

[Palimpsest]

27 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Griselda Teri and Coward Steve's way of serving with the diagram sounded much more complicated than the wait staff's.

My guess is that Steve wanted absolute silence in the room because he was going to pray and preach and "some" were going to share blessings.  In lieu of toasts.

When there are lunch or dinner speakers, most restaurants and conference hotels suggest little colored cards at each place setting showing individual menu choices.  For assigned seating you can set them out in advance with the place cards.  For non-assigned seating attendees pick them up at registration and put them out themselves.

Steve and Teri just made things infinitely more complicated!  Mind you, the Maxwells seem to have been so traumatised by this disaster that they have had self-catered buffet-style rehearsal dinners ever since!

[terranova]

I wonder where Jesse will sleep now? He can't possibly sleep in the boy's room on his own, can he? Will he move in with Steve and Teri? Or the girls? Or will S and T install a video moniter to act ad his accountability buddy?

[theologygeek]

I giggled over "John Single."  The truth is out.  Teri had an affair with Mr Single and conceived John.  

Someone needs to gift Sarah with a dictionary:

immediate family

noun

one's parents, step-parents, siblings, spouse, children, step-children, foster children, in-laws, sibling in-laws, grandparents, great grandparents, step-great grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews

[theologygeek]

On 1/5/2018 at 11:33 AM, mydoggoskeeper said:

This quote from one of the Dad's corners explains their (or rather Steve's) view of the dangers of pleasure.

 

"There are certain things we just don’t do. For example, we would not even consider going to a movie theater, a professional sporting event of any kind, or amusement parks. For us, there is nothing redeeming about any of those activities, and much that is negative (that is for another Dad’s Corner). In addition, there is the potential if we participate in those areas of creating the intense appetite for more. Please don’t get me wrong; we have fun as a family, and much laughter is heard in the Maxwell home. However, it is the desire of my heart to raise children who are “lovers of God” far more than “lovers of pleasure.”

We would all do well to treat pleasure as the dangerous drug that it is."

 

And that, my friends, is why is Maxhell.  

He is a disgusting man for the issues he gives his family.  There's a pattern here.  The things he mentions are all things that his kids can go to without him.  He tells them that it's the godly thing to do but in reality he just wants to keep the control over them.  That's evil.  Even God doesn't take away people's free will.  Because really, who develops an "intense pleasure" to keep going to an amusement park?  You go on the rides, play some games, eat amusement park food, walk around, and go home.  You go once or twice in the summer.  Unless someone lives on the beach with a pier and some rides, they don't frequent amusement parks a lot.  The Maxwells do many things in life that give them pleasure.  Pets, little ones, food, hiking, coffee, their auntie's swings in the yard, desserts, vacations, visiting friends, iphones, internet, shopping, pizza parties, face painting, balloon animals, eating at restaurants...  All these things give them pleasure and they claim to love doing them.  Therefore, they are "lovers of pleasure" just like the rest of us. 

And another thing...I love watching movies.  I also love going to the casino and watching my grandson do Little League.  But I love God more than anything else.  Who is Steve to say he loves God more than I do?  How would he even know how much someone else loves God?  He doesn't know other people's hearts. 

We should start taking bets on how long it will take before John moves to Iowa.  Chelsy is not like them.  She's going to hate it there.