Dillards 48: Proselytising Prick Preaching to People

[Alice in Fundieland]

Hello everyone, longtime lurker, first time commenter here. After falling down the rabbit holes of JRod, the Maxwells, and the Bontragers, I can’t believe the Dillards are the ones to lure me out of lurkdom. Did anyone else think Dan looks uncomfortable in that picture? IMO, he doesn’t seem as gleeful about those hideous shirts as Derick and Cathy do.

[Italiangirl]

6It is really interesting to me to see how differente the 2 Brothers seems to be. Dan has a normal ish girl/wife, work with the scouts, don't spread hate on Sm and dosen't weeks to be happy/confortable with that srupid tshirt and Derick well...married to a Duggar, asking for money online,  every day gas a new hate gem to share on Twitter and seems proud of the shirt

bah between him and his mom i don't know who is worst

[Dandruff]

3 minutes ago, Alice in Fundieland said:

Did anyone else think Dan looks uncomfortable in that picture? IMO, he doesn’t seem as gleeful about those hideous shirts as Derick and Cathy do.

Welcome to FJ.

I think they all have idiotic looks on their faces so it's hard to tell what, exactly, is going on their heads.  Nothing gentle to children, I imagine.  If Dan is really anti-corporal punishment then I would think he'd have had the balls to stay out of the photo.  They seem to be trying to make some sort of point or I don't think they would have invested in the shirts.

As I believe we're all aware, not every child survives corporal punishment.  I don't expect that a photo like this would do anything to help that.  AFAIC, these people now rank with the Pearls.

Wonder where Jill and the kids were when the photo was taken, and who the current owner of the wooden object is.

[apandaaries]

5 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Welcome to FJ.

<snip>

As I believe we're all aware, not every child survives corporal punishment.  I don't expect that a photo like this would do anything to help that.  AFAIC, these people now rank with the Pearls.

Wonder where Jill and the kids were when the photo was taken, and who the current owner of the wooden object is.

Hideous. Cathy has made this her FB cover pic.

My guess is that Jill took the pic. 

What a happy bunch of baby beaters.  How charming. Excellent use of social media. /s

[SportsgalAnnie]

Can Cathy and Derick just go to some deserted island ? 

It seems both are stuck in the teenage mindset.

[bananabread]

It's amazing how people form their own twisted narratives to justify child abuse. My dad was frequently "disciplined" by his parents with belts, wooden spoons, spanking, etc. He openly admits that such abuse led to him having low self esteem and alcoholism, YET AT THE SAME TIME insists that he deserved it and that corporal punishment is a good thing. Mind-boggling.

I seriously worry for Israel and Sam. Every child deserves a safe, accepting, and loving home.

[Casserole]

I know one particular Italian American family who would laugh hysterically at those shirts and wear them proudly through their hometown in Staten Island and probably run into lots of other families who laughed too. Of course, they have an old school Italian grandmother, and if you step in Nonna's kitchen, at some point you were either threatened with the spoon, chased out with it aimed at you, or smacked with it. Of course, she was maybe 5 foot with her shoes on with 5 grandsons who loved to jokingly pick on her. I grew up with all of the boys and they still crack up when remembering the reasons why she came after them with spoons. 

However, there is too much evil in the Duggar/Dillard families for me to believe the shirts are in jest.   They were probably beaten to a pulp with that damn spoon. 

[Sky with diamonds]

33 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

Hideous. Cathy has made this her FB cover pic.

My guess is that Jill took the pic. 

What a happy bunch of baby beaters.  How charming. Excellent use of social media. /s

Cover pics are public, correct? Even more galling to put it out there, then again it could explain so much about Derick.

I know very little about Dan, but I hope he is better than his mother and brother. Break the cycle!

[TheOneAndOnly]

If they chit-chat and joke about abuse they can normalize it. If they normalize it then it isn't bad anymore. That makes it okay to do. It's part of how the cycle continues.

[Sky with diamonds]

9 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

If they chit-chat and joke about abuse they can normalize it. If they normalize it then it isn't bad anymore. That makes it okay to do. It's part of how the cycle continues.

A joke that fell flat. How are the leg humpers responding to it, if at all? Anything on Twitter? 

[Imagine20]

I can't even with this new picture. Cathy is holding a paddle, not a wooden spoon. We had them sitting at the chalkboard in my elementary school. My cousin was the only kid I ever knew who actually got the paddle, and we could hear it from the hallway.

Cathy condemns PP, an organization which provides badly needed healthcare to thousands of women and men (including cancer screenings), but jokes about beating her sons. These people live in a messed up reality. They truly do.

[Rachel333]

I know a lot of people who make those kinds of jokes and laugh about spanking their kids. Being normal doesn't make it okay, but still I don't find this particularly shocking. I think they probably don't even realize how bad it comes across to a lot of people.

[nst]

is it just me or is it in poor taste to constantly publicize you are a bad person. aka Derick and his family. 

thank god they are off the show.  I can't handle their insanity . 

[Kittikatz]

I've been spanked/beaten occasionally as a child and it taught me nothing beyond being beat hurts and not to hit anyone else except in self defense/dire circumstances. My mother admits to one spanking (during an apparent temper tantrum at a shopping mall) and seems kind of sheepish about it. There were more incidents that seemed to be more about her rage/frustration than anything I did, but those are never discussed.

What makes this picture chilling to me was that one of my exBFs was beaten with a spoon regularly while he was growing up. His mother hit so hard that she regularly broke spoons on his backside. He laughed about it, but turned out to be a really psychologically/emotionally abusive person.  If that's the kind of thing that went on in the Dillard house I'd be especially worried about how DWrek and Jill handle discipline.

That said, I grew up next door to an Italian Canadian family and was a regular fixture at their house. The Nonna would swat people out of her kitchen with a wooden spoon, but she rarely made contact and was more a response to teasing or someone coming in to try to steal food before dinner, so maybe that's more the kind of thing those shirts are meant to refer to? I don't know, but it's a weird thing to post on social media.

I get that some spankings may be justified, but hitting little people because you are unable or unwilling to be bothered to discuss proper behaviour with them is nothing to brag about. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

38 minutes ago, Imagine20 said:

I can't even with this new picture. Cathy is holding a paddle, not a wooden spoon. We had them sitting at the chalkboard in my elementary school. My cousin was the only kid I ever knew who actually got the paddle, and we could hear it from the hallway.

Cathy condemns PP, an organization which provides badly needed healthcare to thousands of women and men (including cancer screenings), but jokes about beating her sons. These people live in a messed up reality. They truly do.

Annndddd.... I've just been reading the comments on her FB, and I've found out that I have "mutual friends" with Cathy. Yay.

[clueliss]

I discovered a few years ago thanks to the wonders of social media that some parts of the maternal extended family were wooden spoon survivors/wooden spoon welders.  I was a bit taken back.  Yes, my mom sparked but she did it with her hand because whatever child rearing book she read said that if she hurt her hand she was hurting her child.  (I don’t remember being spanked.  I remember the rolled up newspaper or fly’s water smacked on a table/dressed/doorframe scaring the heck out of me on many occasions when I was getting out of line). I have vivid memories of a family we lived down the street from for 3 years where the mother of the family beat the kids with things like hairbrushes and shoes - And did so out in the yard in front of the whole neighborhood (and the oldest daughter was a screwed up mess)

[onekidanddone]

1 hour ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

If they chit-chat and joke about abuse they can normalize it. If they normalize it then it isn't bad anymore. That makes it okay to do. It's part of how the cycle continues.

Then they can write a how-to manual like Michael Pearl.

[FundieCentral]

I don’t know if anyone also finds this, but to me disciplining your children with wooden spoons is also a really weird “flagship” issue in terms of politics.

I get the obsession with abortion in fundie circles, and religious freedom legislation etc. But what I’m gathering from Lori, the Dillards, Sierra Jo’s comment below and other blogs is that somehow how you punish your children is a political cause for them - and they are on the side that defends corporal punishment as a part of good parenting. In fact, they really actively proud if it. That is so, so weird. 

I recall being slapped a few times as a child, but every time it was after long, long tantrums on my side where my parents just lost their patience and slapped me as a last recourse. I don’t think they would describe those times as their proudest parenting moments and get a T-Shirt indicating such. While I would agree that every once in a while, children can get so worked up that they need a more physical measure of discipline, I can’t understand how that would be your primary way of disciplining. Reeks of bad parenting to me. 

[Iamtheway]

All sorts of beatings, including spanking, are illegal in Sweden and I have never been punished physically in my life. Bragging about abusing your kids/being abused as a child is so sad to me. Poor, poor Izzy and Sam. 

[Thorns]

Whoa. I'm Norwegian, were like @Iamthewaysaid every.form.of corporal punishment, or the threat of it, is defined as abuse, and would be met by a reaction from CPS and the police. To see people blatantly condone what for me with my cultural background would be illegal (and I'm a mandated reporter), makes me nauseous. 

 

[meee]

Omg. Poor Izzy and Sam. 

[JillyO]

How could it possibly be okay to beat a small, defenseless child, when beating an adult is a crime? HOW? Fuck these people.

[Pete Pickles]

On 12/30/2017 at 11:26 AM, louisa05 said:

I read a couple articles about that show (and many other reality shows) when I did a paper in grad school about reality television. They are paid people that the producers bring in to appraise items. Some were people that the staff had previously used, most were not. So the notion that they are all Rick's personal "buddies" of longstanding is a bit silly. They are also waiting in the wings at filming because everything is pre-arranged. So there is no calling in the "let me call a buddy of mine", there is a pause while said "buddy" comes into the scene for filming as producers already called him. And they are getting paid by The History Channel for each appearance.  

Yes. They also have plenty of time to research the items.  They don't necessarily know everything off the tops of their heads either, except maybe that beard of knowledge guy.

On 12/30/2017 at 8:48 AM, Fun Undies said:

 

 it's not like I have any insight or anything - but I really don't think JB would just kick them out. 

 

In an episode of 19KAC Jim Bob said something to the effect of "We'd like to help each of our children with starting their homes but it's unlikely because we have a literal F-ton of kids."  (Obv not verbatim.)  It wouldn't surprise me if, with Joe recently married off and possessing a Duggar penis/expected to provide for his wife, Jim Bob didn't politely shoo Derick along.  What a fine opportunity now that he was able to rent church student housing on the cheap and has lived in Duggar housing for almost four years.

On 12/30/2017 at 1:09 PM, JenniferJuniper said:

I know a woman who appeared on House Hunters with her husband years ago.  She says that aside from them correctly identifying the house they bought, everything was completely staged.  They never considered the other houses on the show; they were found by the producers and the tours of them, like the "coffee shop decision conversation", were all scripted.  In fact they had already closed on their house when they filmed most of those scenes.

Reality shows are like those drinks that look like juice but actually only contain 3% fruit.  They are mostly not real.

True.  My husband and I were chosen to be on this show.  Home had to have already been closed before they would even arrange for filming.

On 12/30/2017 at 1:33 PM, mizandry said:

I find it sad that my first reaction to seeing this picture of Sam, next to "Aww!" was, "His limbs are free!!!"

Speaking of "awww," is anyone else noticing Jill's comments on other peoples' IG posts always start with "awww!"  It's 100% annoying the shit out of me.

13 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

You'd think after years of being in a spokesperson type role on 19 KAC Jill would be better at the marketing game. Then again, memorable moments in 19KAC included a Josie diaper blowout, blocked toilets, and uncomfortable sex talk between the babymakers, so it's not like she learned from the best...

We call Jill the spokesperson for the show but I think in reality, she was just the one who loved to talk.  Added bonus: Jim Bob figured she was the golden child and he could trust her not to say anything he didn't want said.  She's not actually any better at marketing or even at speaking for that matter, she's just the obnoxious kid in your middle school class who always had something annoying to add to the conversation.  She's the one in the conference room still talking when the meeting could have ended five minutes ago.  She's the woman shopping in Walmart who stops foreign-looking people to invite them over for Bible study.  To the contrary, I think she's particularly BAD at marketing and relating to others.  She has never had to do it in a real-life situation, she just sits in front of a film crew and rattles on about her life.

 

As for spanking, I'm relatively young and I remember in high school (about ten years ago) a conversation in class about this.  I was the only one in the class whose parents did not spank.  I was judged pretty harshly for this, as if I was some kind of spoiled brat.  I guess it was very common in the area and socio-economic situation where I grew up.

[AprilQuilt]

9 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

I've been spanked/beaten occasionally as a child and it taught me nothing beyond being beat hurts and not to hit anyone else except in self defense/dire circumstances. My mother admits to one spanking (during an apparent temper tantrum at a shopping mall) and seems kind of sheepish about it. There were more incidents that seemed to be more about her rage/frustration than anything I did, but those are never discussed.

I feel this 100%. I don't think she did it more than a handful of times, but when my mother hit me it was in anger and frustration. It made me frightened of her, and it undermined her authority in my eyes. She'd be terribly remorseful afterwards and it definitely made me think that this was bad behaviour on her part, rather than reasonable disciplining for something I'd done wrong. We've never spoken about it, and I doubt it's a part of the image she has of herself as a mother.

I don't remember my father ever, ever hitting us, although he had an explosive temper (once I remember him throwing a tub of sparkly kids' talc against the side of the bath, and me thinking, 'ah, this is pretty serious' as the glitter rained down over me). I'm determined never to use corporal punishment on my kids. I cannot accept the use of pain, humiliation and fear to control another human (or indeed animal), and honestly I do look askance at those who use it as their standard method of discipline.

[The Roman from Ipanema]

To anybody who thinks that spanking is ok: I lost a friend over that bullshit, we are not spoiled. We just think it is highly ineffective, easily abused and gets you in big trouble, warranted or unwarranted.

Back to the topic at hand: https://www.dillardfamily.com/dillard family blog?ID=12e65e7d-e155-44f6-9374-a48a7735b722

These people are delusional and need to leave the Ummah alone What the fuck?.^