Dillards 48: Proselytising Prick Preaching to People

[Pete Pickles]

2 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Please help me with this (perhaps fake) memory. I seem to recall Meeeechelle talking about blanket training, and using a wooden spoon to smack the being-blanket-trained-baby's hands/feet if they ventured off the blanket. Anyone else recall this? Bueller?

She went into some detail about it in the 20 and Counting book. I don’t specifically recall the wooden spoon (doesn’t mean it’s not there) but that book contains the most info I ever knew of blanket training. 

[Gobsmacked]

17 hours ago, nst said:

is it just me or is it in poor taste to constantly publicize you are a bad person. aka Derick and his family. 

thank god they are off the show.  I can't handle their insanity . 

They don't think or realise that they are bad. They think they are perfect.

[KelseyAnn]

I did my thesis on child abuse, I find it absurd that parents get so many chances to fuck their up while children don't get any opportunity to get away from being fucked. It takes an absurd amount of abuse for parental rights to be terminated, and that just shouldn't be the case. The damage done to children by abuse is something some children never get over. I'm STILL in therapy and I've been away from home since I was 16. Why do adults, who have rights to leave, have more rights than children who are virtually powerless? CPS gave us back to our parents even with clear documentation of abuse going on. Had I gotten out earlier, I would for sure be better off than I am now. 

Now, I'm not all for the Government having more power than they deserve, but CPS needs more authority and power to do what is right. Parent's don't have the right to abuse thier children. 

[artdecades]

5 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm not giving Dan a pass yet. He was still raised by Cathy who is by all accounts a terrible person with terrible views. 

And re: my views on spanking. I don't have anything against spanking with your hands and not in an excessive manner. But don't bring a spoon or a belt into it. That just screams "I can't handle this situation and I need to feel bigger"

yeah, same. Dan has posted some pretty questionable things on social media. Aside from being a conservative and supporting Santorum, he has disparaged the Girl Scouts and mocked low wage workers.

[Rachel333]

It is sad how much conservative Christians like to focus on how sinful children are. It's definitely not unique to Derick. I was thinking about that as well after I saw an instagram post from Brittany Price Brooker (wife of Daniel Brooker who was Lyndsie's husband).

Quote

I’m learning a lot about the Father’s heart towards me as we train these little sinful hearts to continually lean on Him for strength and to make good choices

Why mention the "sinful" hearts of children?

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I only remember being spanked once by my dad in the early 90s, and it only came to that because my brother and I did something to deliberately disobey him. He told us not to go to a neighbor's house two streets down, and to just stay in our yard to play. What did my brother and I do? We ran the two blocks to the neighbor's house the first chance we could. As an adult, that must have been so scary for my dad. He turns his back for one minute, and the next thing you know, his kids are gone. The spanking didn't really hurt me, I just remember crying a lot because he told us how disappointed he was in us. That part definitely did the trick.

Most of the time, if we acted out, we were sent to the "time out bench," which also happened to be an old church pew in our house. Or, we were sometimes sent to our room to cry it out, and about 15 minutes later my mom would come in to calmly discuss what we had done wrong, and how much she still loved us.

That being said, the Dillards disgust me.

[Shadoewolf]

As least this discussion is somewhat civil. The mommy-shaming over at Pickles I find disturbing. 

I've talked before about Youngest and his issues. When he was around 2, he wanted to touch the stove while it was on. Something about the glowing coils had him fixated.  Anyone with an autistic or sensory based kid knows how hard it can be.  No amount of telling him "no" or "that's hot" or trying to redirect him to other things was going to stop him. So instead of him getting badly burned, I swatted his hand with my own. After 3 repetitions of him reaching for it and getting his fingers smacked, he got the point and never tried it again. He wasn't badly hurt and better his fingers sting for a second than a 3rd degree burn. He's not afraid of me and it's certainly not a power trip for me. 

I also admit that I was in a really bad place emotionally back in 2016. I had just spent 3 weeks in Florida, watching my mom meet a gruesome end and dealing with her funeral and the disposal of her estate. I hadn't been home but a few days (and I was still reeling from it all) hadn't slept in days, and Oldest was in a mood where she figured she'd just keep pushing her limits with me. She, for more than an hour, just kept running her mouth. Even after being told repeatedly to stop, to go to her room, to leave me alone, she wouldn't. She was standing behind me and made a snide comment, and I admit it, I swung around and backhanded her across the face. She went upstairs in silence and I fell sobbing to the floor. I had a massive breakdown the following day and was in treatment 2 days after that. 

My kids are nowhere near abused, nor do they have fear issues. Things happen sometimes and I don't feel a couple of spankings (never with an object mind you!) over their lifetimes has permanently damaged my kids. 

[Bad Wolf]

I seen to remember that Michelle found some sort of flexible ruler that didn't leave a mark. People were asking her where to find one. I believe it was erased after the show started. Of course, I could be totally wrong, too.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I got spanked as a child, not super frequently, but it happened. Sometimes with a wooden spoon, the back of a hairbrush, or a belt. All it taught me is that once I'm big enough I can physically fight back. Not a good lesson. Thankfully my relationship with my folks is healthy now. Distant, but healthy.

My two brothers are much younger than me (same parents, 14 and 17 year age gap). I don't think they ever got corporal punishment. My parents became laxer and more understanding after me, but they were also more established and experienced by round 2 of kids.

[onekidanddone]

Gee wiz Cathy, do you think you are passive aggressive much? I can see how well you taught Derick.

 

[artdecades]

I don't want to know where that is cuz that sounds disgusting Cathy

 

edit: two seconds of googling found me this place in rogers, ak that sells it. you aint slick cathy

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/parkside-public-rogers?select=sP-qyw1AL2vZHkhkhkHS2A

[singsingsing]

Cathy, just fuck off, seriously. Nobody cares.

[DarkAnts]

I think this thread title should be changed to "Proselytising Prick Preaching  AT People" Preaching I people in my mind requires willingness of the audience to listen to what is being preached. There is a relationship between the speaker and audience. For the most part, the Prick preaches at people. For the most partrelationship exists between the Prick and twitter members.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

Cathy, you're the mom of the d-bag who got kicked off TLC programming. Nobody's asking you to promote 310 Shakes or the FabFitFun Box.

[OhNoNike]

Sorry in advance if I offend anyone with these comments.  I’m not religious but I know a number of folks are here.

i actually felt bad for Cathy through her cancer  fight.  I lost my father to cancer and I don’t wish it on anyone.  

Her smug tweets piss me off.  I was spanked occasionally as a kid (hand on bare butt).  I think a lot was due to my parents being older first time parents who were from a different generation and culture entirely.  I don’t feel it affected me in a terrible way. Nonetheless, her tweet really disturbs me.  We’ve learned a lot about behavior and how to parent more effectively and it’s really gross that she boasts that.  I don’t spank my own children.  I’m working on not yelling (I’m pretty good most of the time, but sometimes it’s hard).  I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement.  No one is perfect and most of us try to do the best we can   Which means using what we’ve learned over the years and do better.

Its hard for me to word exactly how it makes me feel, but she had that struggle and now comes across as a giant asshole.  It makes me think that oh, ok, your prayers fixed you and you can ignore being a good person because God showed he loved you (or something)

[onekidanddone]

15 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

I’m working on not yelling (I’m pretty good most of the time, but sometimes it’s hard).  I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement.

I hear you on the not yelling. That is one of my many faults and I'm working on getting better and staying calmer. The only uses for wooden spoons is to stir food in a Teflon pot.

[FleeJanaFree]

Has anyone read How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk? I was on the fence about whether I was against spanking or not, but it pushed me over the edge in deciding it's never okay. One thing that stuck out to me was reminding readers of what's THEIR reaction was to getting spanked when they were kids. Did you stop doing the action that landed you the spanking? Did you feel your parents were acting from a place of love? Did you regret your action genuinely?  I didn't. I just decided to hide it better next time. I became preoccupied with revenge fantasies. Punishment is a distraction, the authors said. It Leads to fear, hatred, revenge, defiance, guilt, unworthiness, and self pity. We need to train kids to fix the problem instead of encouraging self protection from punishment. 

[VelociRapture]

2 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

I hear you on the not yelling. That is one of my many faults and I'm working on getting better and staying calmer. 

My baby is only one and it can be a struggle for me in certain situations - like when she tries rolling off the changing table or won’t stay still during diaper changes or does something dangerous... my go-to moves right now are to either quietly count Mississippis out loud as I deal with the situation or I pick a happy song and sing it loud enough to help block her tantrum the tiniest bit. It’s not perfect, but at least I look back and laugh afterwards.

[AtlanticTug]

My toddler is mostly a wonderful little boy but has his moments where he is simply infuriating. I usually just have to ignore him and literally walk away.

My parents were kind of hippie-ish and we were never hit or spanked, didn't have a set bedtime, didn't have to eat food we didn't like or God forbid finish everything on your plate (one of the major indicators of future obesity btw). We turned out just fine and interestingly are much more regimented/scheduled with our kids. I therefore don't understand paddles, wooden spoons or anything else, much less a grown ass, elderly woman bragging about it on Facebook. What a disgusting family.

[nastyhobbitses]

The one good thing about Cathy's twitter is that it is so strangely satisfying to say "nobody fucking asked you, Cathy". It makes me feel like the baddest bitch at the PTA meeting. 

[Satan'sFortress]

Upthread a bit, someone asked why it was OK to hit a kid for "discipline" when it isn't OK to hit an adult.  Perhaps they were asking rhetorically, but I am asking for real--why is that OK?  (I realize that many people here, if not almost all, do not think this is acceptable, but for those who do . . . )

[Casserole]

Just now, Satan'sFortress said:

Upthread a bit, someone asked why it was OK to hit a kid for "discipline" when it isn't OK to hit an adult.  Perhaps they were asking rhetorically, but I am asking for real--why is that OK?  (I realize that many people here, if not almost all, do not think this is acceptable, but for those who do . . . )

I know I'm against all hitting so I'm not the answer you're looking for... but the *only* thing I can think of is kids are too small to fight back. Which is sad and pathetic in terms of the adult doing the beating. The other reason I could sort of spin would be that teens/adults are able to use their words and the more rational parts of their brain are developing/developed so they can discuss why they did what they did, etc. To me, this seems like even more reason to sit down with your young child and discuss what they did wrong/why you're upset and find a solution together...

and again, I was obviously not your target audience lol 

[Dandruff]

4 hours ago, artdecades said:

yeah, same. Dan has posted some pretty questionable things on social media. Aside from being a conservative and supporting Santorum, he has disparaged the Girl Scouts and mocked low wage workers.

Wonder how he feels about no wage, non-workers.

49 minutes ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

Cathy, you're the mom of the d-bag who got kicked off TLC programming. Nobody's asking you to promote 310 Shakes or the FabFitFun Box.

The sandwich sounds gross and who would even care if she was promoting it?  I'm imagining an effect like Election Day for candidates the Duggars support.

[Sky with diamonds]

31 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

Sorry in advance if I offend anyone with these comments.  I’m not religious but I know a number of folks are here.

i actually felt bad for Cathy through her cancer  fight.  I lost my father to cancer and I don’t wish it on anyone.  

Her smug tweets piss me off.  I was spanked occasionally as a kid (hand on bare butt).  I think a lot was due to my parents being older first time parents who were from a different generation and culture entirely.  I don’t feel it affected me in a terrible way. Nonetheless, her tweet really disturbs me.  We’ve learned a lot about behavior and how to parent more effectively and it’s really gross that she boasts that.  I don’t spank my own children.  I’m working on not yelling (I’m pretty good most of the time, but sometimes it’s hard).  I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement.  No one is perfect and most of us try to do the best we can   Which means using what we’ve learned over the years and do better.

Its hard for me to word exactly how it makes me feel, but she had that struggle and now comes across as a giant asshole.  It makes me think that oh, ok, your prayers fixed you and you can ignore being a good person because God showed he loved you (or something)

I am sorry about your father. 

I have been through cancer myself in the last few years. It's not easy, even now. One of the things it taught me was to stand up for myself. There was a time I didn't because I was shy, scared etc. I'm more assertive now. I'm proud how far I've come in many ways. I used to be in the shadows, afraid to voice my opinions, even on the internet. No more. Life is too short.

I too feel sorry for Cathy about her cancer. I was shocked how she as during Jill's and Derick's wedding, pretty concerned. I hope she never goes through cancer again. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone. Cathy comes across as holier than tho, like she is better than everybody else. She's not. She has some twisted beliefs, IMO. She lost her husband and raised two kids, and then went through cancer. I know it's not easy. I just wish she would change her stances, or at least learn about other ways of doing things. It's very unlikely she ever will. Two kids and using spoons to teach right from wrong horrifies me and seemingly she is boastful about it, and doesn't see any problem with it. It's sad. I worry more than ever about Izzy and Sam. They are both very young, beautiful kids with at least one seemingly detached parent. If Jill has more babies likely her sisters will more than help raise them as she did with her siblings. In so many ways the cycle continues. I hope with all my heart Derick and Jill raises their kids differently than they were raised.

I think Jill and Derick are in a big fundie bubble. Izzy and Sam deserve better than to live in it. 

 

[Sky with diamonds]

9 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm not giving Dan a pass yet. He was still raised by Cathy who is by all accounts a terrible person with terrible views. 

And re: my views on spanking. I don't have anything against spanking with your hands and not in an excessive manner. But don't bring a spoon or a belt into it. That just screams "I can't handle this situation and I need to feel bigger"

Oh no. I didn't know about that about Dan. I had hopes he was different, then again I don't know much about him.