Dillards 37: Tweeting like a Jackass

[FloraDoraDolly]

11 hours ago, calimojo said:

I think Jill had a really traumatic birth.  I am not speculating that she has been left with permanent issues, or a hysterectomy or anything.  But she does seem to not be moving around much. 

Which, if this is the case, makes her husband even more of a douchebag for starting this social media war with Jazz Jennings. Derick has been doing reality TV long enough to know what he was getting himself into with those tweets. He knew it would cause a sh*tstorm. Yet, he did it anyway, at a time when he should be taking care of his wife, his new baby, and his little boy.

[calimojo]

@FloraDoraDollyWell, to be fair, it takes just a few minutes for Derick to tweet something stupid, so that doesn't mean he is neglecting Jill or his kids. 

I also don't think Derick believed that he was attacking Jazz personally.  In my opinion,  he was actually aiming his comments to TLC.  I think Derick's beef is with TLC for airing the show, and not specifically towards Jazz.  I am not making an excuse for him, but I really do believe he was striking out at TLC.  I wonder if he and Jill  were upset that they filmed the after show episodes without them.  Perhaps they requested them to be filmed sooner before Jill got close to delivery, or perhaps they asked them to wait until after the baby was born.  Maybe they were hoping to use those shows to introduce the new baby.  Or perhaps, they feel that TLC doesn't give them as much screen time or portrays them less favorably than the other kidults.  I mean, they can't be blind to the fact that as a couple, they are less popular than the other marrieds.  And while we all know why that is,  it probably still stings a bit for them.  And sadly, neither of them seem to have much insight into how alienating they are to even their own fan base.  Even the leg humpers don't seem all that fond of them. 

Something is not good between Derick and the show, or TLC.  He needs them for an income, yet he resents them.

I do think he was a jerk when he called Jazz "him", but I think at that point, Derick was in full blown defensive persecuted Christian mindset that he loves to embrace. 

( for the record, I think there are many people who still get confused in what pronouns to use for people who are transgendered.  My mom, who is one of the most liberal women I have ever known, honestly thought that it was 'proper' to call someone by their 'born sex' until they had surgery.  I don't think she even realized that some people who are transgendered don't end up having the reassignment surgery.  She is almost 80, and just hasn't encountered anyone who is transgendered ( to her knowledge).  When my daughter explained more about it to her, she was mortified that she had been doing it wrong.  Now, I don't think this is Derick's situation, but who knows,  He might be much more sheltered than we expected despite his college degree) 

[adidas]

41 minutes ago, calimojo said:

Sometimes during late pregnancy and more often during labor that symphysis will separate and can end up being quite painful.  It will eventually heal itself, but if it is bad enough it can make walking very uncomfortable for a weeks after delivery.  ( for all you expectant moms, don't worry, it doesn't actually happen very often). 

Mine separated at 32 weeks and I wouldn't wish that agony on my worst enemy. It was unbearable. It took me many months to end able to walk without pain after my baby was born and even now - 20 years later - if I accidentally slip or slide sideways on wet tiles I still get a shoot of that crippling pain again. Ugh. 

I barely had a twinge of pain of pain during my next pregnancy, thank goodness. 

[Chewing Gum]

Uhm..Jill is still only 4 weeks post-surgery. C-sections roughly take 6 weeks to heal at basic and in that time she can't lift or work out in any way. Ofcourse this varies per woman but I think speculating about her physical state is probably just that, speculating. To me she's a normal 4-weeks-post-section woman. 

[calimojo]

1 hour ago, Chewing Gum said:

Uhm..Jill is still only 4 weeks post-surgery. C-sections roughly take 6 weeks to heal at basic and in that time she can't lift or work out in any way. Ofcourse this varies per woman but I think speculating about her physical state is probably just that, speculating. To me she's a normal 4-weeks-post-section woman. 

not really.  Yes,  most women are advised to stay home from work for 6-8 weeks post c/s and to avoid heavy lifting, but no woman, in normal health, with no unforeseen complication is going to be encouraged to sit and stay in her room for 6 weeks.  A post op C/S patient is typically walking within 12-16 hours after surgery while in the hospital and by the end of the first week, they are more than capable to walk short distances at home, fully care for themselves and help care for the baby.  After 2 weeks, there is no reason why a post op C/S mom isn't able to do some very light work around the house, even a little cooking as well as short walks, and venture out to the store, etc.  They should still not be lifting anything heavier than the baby, but with some help they can do most things. Obviously they also need to get a lot of rest to promote healing, a good diet, and to spend time with the new baby, feeding, etc.  I am not suggesting they are ready to run a marathon, but just sitting or lying in bed is very bad for anyone after surgery, and for pregnant women in particular because they are at a higher risk for blood clots. 

I haven't done the math, but if she really is 4 weeks out, then by this point, a typical post op c/s patient would be doing almost all activities of daily living she would normally do (with the exception of strenuous physical exercise and heavy lifting) , but perhaps with some modifications, and with more frequent rest periods. 

Keep in mind that many moms have little to no help after a baby, regardless of the type of delivery she had.  And while that isn't ideal, it is reality. 

We haven't seen much evidence that Jill is moving around much, but, to be completely fair, we haven't seen any evidence that she is not either.  It could be that she up and about all the time, but they just have only gotten pictures in that same location, for some reason.  Hard to say.  I am not implying that Jill is lazy or not progressing as she should be, I simply don't know that.  But,  based on the location of pictures of her all being in the same spot, it does give the impression that she isn't getting up and about too much.  I sincerely hope that I am wrong, and more importantly, if she is progressing slower than normal for some reason, etc, I hope that she has all the help and support, both physical and emotional, that she needs. 

[Jug Band Baby]

On ‎8‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 9:43 PM, Rachel333 said:

Someone on the last thread said that Derick isn't a true Christian, and I absolutely disagree. Saying that people aren't "true Christians" is a huge pet peeve of mine. Derick et al might not be good examples of Christians but "Christian" doesn't mean "good person" and there's plenty in the Bible to justify his judgemental attitude, just like others can find bits of the Bible to support a kinder approach. 

Too often, Islamophobes claim that all Muslims are terrorists because of the actions of a few, and they don't buy the idea that those terrorists aren't Muslims.  Yet if a Christian commits an act of terror, they're not really Christians?  The hypocrisy.

On ‎8‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 10:27 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I have family that say I can't be a christian because I'm pro choice. I've seen bumper stickers that say this as well.

I heard a priest on the radio a few years ago defend women's rights.  He said that the conflict if who has the rights more, women or unborn, and that he is going to defend the person who is born first.

[infooverload]

C-section recovery I would imagine varies patient to patient like everything else and this is her second one. I remember before I had mine the doctor asked so what is your housing set up like. I chuckled and stated I just moved into a 3rd floor apartment the week prior. The doctor just stated be careful and take it easy. I guess taking it easy for me meant: leaving the hospital a day early, taking my son into work to introduce him to my coworkers 3 days later and basically taking Tylenol if my pain flared up. Then again I'm stubborn and don't take orders well. My most recent medical ah crap was a few years ago when I donned the queen tiara of stupid injury and missed a last step off a deck and broke my ankle. I broke it on Saturday, knew I had a drug test for a new job I was starting Monday. I was stupidly paranoid about any drugs I took for the ankle showing up on the drug test. I waited until after the drug test was done. Then had my husband take me to urgent care where a short time later I was singing the praises of the drug Torval (I'm not sure how its spelt) the nurse shot into this albino hippos butt. All this to say I think how strong a person presents after surgery or medical problems is based on many factors. The personality of the patient and the people around them to name a couple.

[Trynn]

So true. I was in the hospital for 4 full days after a laproscopic appendectomy, which is apparently unheard of. I did not react well to the anesthesia AT ALL.

[Bajovane]

Oh man, if Jillimuffy has that separated pelvis thingy - you know she would refuse to take pain medication (she was terrified to take any when she had her wisdom teeth taken out!).  I remember her being in a fair amount of pain after Izzy was born but at least she was out and about.

[Queen]

The terminology is sometimes confusing for us LGBTQ people too! For example most young English speakers and non-British/American/Australian/Canadian/New Zeelandic etc. people have no problem with the word queer (it means anything that is not straight and cis), but some older English speakers find it painful, because that's what their bullies called them. 

It's great to read stories about people who have once been homophobic or transphobic but after meeting someone who is gay, bi, trans or otherwise queer, they became more open minded  

But it is also heavy to be the first rainbow person someone meets, and it's not always easy being cheerful and understanding when meeting someone who wish you didn't have basic human rights or who think you are strange/wicked/sinful. I feel the pressure to act extra lovely because otherwise they might continue being prejudiced against my kind. It's stressful. I am beyond grateful for every single LGBTQI person who has walked before me, breaking barriers, often with huge personal costs. 

[SayWhat]

There are just no words for the idiot that has become Derrick Dillard. 

IMHO,   JillyMuffin and her parental units served Derrick the Kool-Aid and he chugged it and now is spewing it.  

 

[Four is Enough]

I was 24 when I had my first very extensive surgery for endometriosis.. a full laparotomy.. 3.5 hours long.

I was 27 when I had my second.

Recovery time was VERY different for the first and second. MUCH longer the second time around.

The third? (33) Fuggedaboutit. My abdominal muscles never recovered..

 

Jill may not be recovering nearly as fast or as easily this time, and she has two big kids to lug around.. I'm sure her hell hole of a husband isn't helping at all. I think she's just completely exhausted.

[Snarkle Motion]

I think Derick looked good on paper but they neve really go to know him. If I remember correctly, Jim Bob really never met him in person before they started the courtship. They made it seem like him being a prayer partner was over email or skype while he was in Nepal. And Jill was married to him after 9 months after being introduced. 

There is something to be said about Ben's courtship and living with the family. They had the opportunity to really meet him and his family over a long period of time. 

[Gobbles]

58 minutes ago, Queen said:

For example most young English speakers and non-British/American/Australian/Canadian/New Zeelandic etc. people have no problem with the word queer (it means anything that is not straight and cis), but some older English speakers find it painful, because that's what their bullies called them. 

I agree! For me this is the word that best describes my existence. Personality and sexuality wise. I tried to label myself in terms of lesbian/bisexual/hetero or even gender but somehow nothings fits. Queer fits for everything. 

 

[Snarkylark]

@calimojo @adidas I had the pubis symphysis pain! I felt it separate when my third was born (she descended and was born super fast) and it became unbearably painful during my fourth pregnancy. It was so bad to even get out of bed or slide one leg out to the side or push something with my foot was excruciating. I don't remember how I found out what it was but I googled it and found chiropractic can help. It did and I haven't had the pain since (I didn't have any more children though, either.)

[Fluffy14]

If this hit CNN is it significant? Does it mean anything?

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/04/entertainment/derick-dillard-jazz-jennings/index.html

[Jane M.]

Catching up with the latest Dullard shenanigans...Derick is officially the biggest asshole of the Duggar clan. 

Ugh.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Thank you, @VelociRapture, for the information. I'm not promising my post-stroke brain will remember all of it, but I'll do my best.

And I appreciate your saying it with kindness. 

[Rachel333]

2 hours ago, Queen said:

The terminology is sometimes confusing for us LGBTQ people too! For example most young English speakers and non-British/American/Australian/Canadian/New Zeelandic etc. people have no problem with the word queer (it means anything that is not straight and cis), but some older English speakers find it painful, because that's what their bullies called them. 

Yep, I'm one of the younger people who hate the word "queer." It's one thing to call yourself that but I hate the trend of calling everyone queer, even people who lived in times when that was a serious slur. It's also being diluted in meaning, as more and more straight people have been co-opting that word so that even straight kinky people can be included in it now.

[Snarkle Motion]

This has been really helpful conversation. I was unaware that using transgendered was inappropriate but it makes sense. 

Questions: Is it appropriate to refer to someone just as trans? And is the term "transitioning" or "transitioned" acceptable to refer to someone who has is now living as the correct gender? I have heard the term "gender cusious" previously before gender fluid - is gender curious still acceptable for someone questioning their gender rather than someone who  may not identify exclusively with one gender?

7 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

Yep, I'm one of the younger people who hate the word "queer." It's one thing to call yourself that but I hate the trend of calling everyone queer, even people who lived in times when that was a serious slur. It's also being diluted in meaning, as more and more straight people have been co-opting that word so that even straight kinky people can be included in it now.

My understanding is that it is like the n-word as it's been reclaimed. Should someone who does not identify as queer avoid the word? Unless a person specifically identifies and asks to be referred to as queer? 

[RosyDaisy]

Which, if this is the case, makes her husband even more of a douchebag for starting this social media war with Jazz Jennings. Derick has been doing reality TV long enough to know what he was getting himself into with those tweets. He knew it would cause a sh*tstorm. Yet, he did it anyway, at a time when he should be taking care of his wife, his new baby, and his little boy.

This! Asshole Derick should be spending time with his family, not picking on a teenager. His wife just gave birth to their second child!

[Gobsmacked]

43 minutes ago, Fluffy14 said:

If this hit CNN is it significant? Does it mean anything?

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/04/entertainment/derick-dillard-jazz-jennings/index.html

Jim-Bob may not like it. At all. Dwreck was chosen by J-B for Jill. Dwreck has made J-B look more even more foolish than we all already know he is. Nope. Daddy Duggar will not be chuffed. 

Thankyou for posting the link Fluffy14.

[singsingsing]

I'm not convinced that Jill or any of the other Duggars are disappointed in Derick in any way, shape, or form. I know to a lot of people on FJ Derick 'looked good on paper' back in the day and now they've become disillusioned with him, but most of you aren't fundies. The stuff Derick tweets is just basic fundie stuff that the Duggars all agree with. They believe being 'persecuted' by the world is a sign that they're doing something right. FJers might be appalled by Derick, but the Duggars are probably high-fiving him and patting him on the back. 

They do not see this as making them look bad or foolish. They is what they believe, and what thousands of their supporters also believe. I do think that Jim Bob and the rest of the Duggars care about making money, but I still think that their religion is ultimately more important to them. I think if anything Jim Bob is probably proud of his son-in-law.

[TuringMachine]

I woke up with renewed anger towards TLC. How dare they run an anti-bullying campaign but when one of their own bullies another their response is just "we don't agree with him." Is that what they tell people in their campaign? The best way to handle your people bullying is to just distance yourself? Our is it just distance yourself they have good ratings?

[VelociRapture]

35 minutes ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Thank you, @VelociRapture, for the information. I'm not promising my post-stroke brain will remember all of it, but I'll do my best.

And I appreciate your saying it with kindness. 

You're welcome! I don't mind helping out when I can because I know it's confusing and it likely gets tiring for LGBTQ+ folks to keep explaining on their own.* Just do what you can. I think most people who know you will be understanding (and those who don't will understand if you choose to explain your health.)

(*As long as the person is being polite and respectful, as you were. If they're not then all bets are off and I WILL turn into the big sister version of a Momma Bear. )

@Snarkle MotionI would avoid using the term "queer" unless the person you're speaking with is ok with being referred to as such. This is speaking from an American POV though - and as others said it may vary based off geography and culture. The best practice would likely be to ask the person what term they prefer best and to simply use that one with them moving forward.