Aunt Lori Alexander 22: Criticising your poop and pining for Gilead

[jerkit]

I just binge read the last two and a half threads. I am fired up all over again about "the gospels don't matter." It is truly the most heretical thing I have ever heard a fundie say. And if you think the point of the gospels as to "show people they need  savior" you missed the entire point or you've never actually read them. 

 

HERESY, THY NAME IS LORI

[onemama]

4 minutes ago, Koala said:

Am I missing something?  Does this term have other meanings?

I'm guessing it means that the marriage is a "covenant", like God made a covenant with Abraham (old one) and then He made a new one with the Church.  Since they believe marriage is supposed to be an image of Christ and the Church, they call it a "covenant".  

[EowynW]

Just now, onemama said:

I'm guessing it means that the marriage is a "covenant", like God made a covenant with Abraham (old one) and then He made a new one with the Church.  Since they believe marriage is supposed to be an image of Christ and the Church, they call it a "covenant".  

Covenant marriage is a term often found in the hipster neo Calvinista world. CM believers are firm complementarians and believe in no divorce ever. 

[Petronella]

15 hours ago, onemama said:

So, in a nutshell, ignore the way you feel, plaster on a smile, lie to your husband and thank him for doing what?  escaping at work and refusing to help her "straighten out those kids" -shudder-? 

The situation she describes sounds just devastating. I'm horrified that she is being met with further criticism instead of compassion.

[Koala]

6 minutes ago, polecat said:

Quick show of hands: Who here married a man to be their "protector and provider," a'la Lori?

I saw that, I've just never heard in put that way before.  Around here, people just say, "He/she married for money".  Of course we also say, "If you marry for money, you'll be paying for the rest of your life".  That definitely seems to be the case with Ken and Lori.  

 

[EowynW]

6 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

They have them at home and when things go catastrophically wrong they get the evil State to pay for it. See: Zsuzsu.

That's funny because all the unsassisted births I know of around here are not QF people. They are uber crunchy atheist hippies lol 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

http://m.lifeway.com/Article/HomeLife-Marriage-Covenant-or-Contract

IIt's basically a snobby way to make thier marriages sound better than regular folks. As if regular marriages don't incorporate everything in that covenant list.

 

[delphinium65]

13 minutes ago, Koala said:

I thought that was interesting, so I looked up "covenant marriage".  It seems to have legal implications, and is only available in 3 states (none of which are California).

Am I missing something?  Does this term have other meanings?  I have been pretty heavily immersed in fundie terminology, but this is a new one on me.

I looked it up a while back, I think that's basically it. The whole point of covenant marriage seems to be to make divorce much more difficult, AKA trap the participants in a marriage no matter what. I suppose a person in a non-covenant marriage state can write out their own 'covenant' but as far as I've been able to determine it wouldn't hold up in court-if my understanding is wrong someone please inform me so!  

Seems to me that insisting on a marriage 'covenant' amounts to admitting that you're quite willing to stay married to another person against his/her will, that the concept of 'marriage' is more important to you than the actual person you're marrying.  Yep, that sounds about like the fundie way. 

[SuperNova]

25 minutes ago, Koala said:

I saw that, I've just never heard in put that way before.  Around here, people just say, "He/she married for money".  Of course we also say, "If you marry for money, you'll be paying for the rest of your life".  That definitely seems to be the case with Ken and Lori.  

 

It was the disappointment of my mothers life that I didn't "marry to be maintained". Apparently I'm a fool for marrying for love. She actually said to me that "it's great to have fun with a man but when it comes to forever, money is better". We didn't speak for many years after that conversation.

[Koala]

20 hours ago, usmcmom said:

 

 

[BlackSheep]

June 22, 2017:

April 7, 2017:

Reusing an illustration? Slacker.

[cindyluvs24]

Did she steal that font from  some children's book?

[molecule]

12 minutes ago, cindyluvs24 said:

Did she steal that font from  some children's book?

The font doesn't match her content in any way. Quite frankly, her handwriting is neat enough that she could make her own font and be much better off.

[usmcmom]

I think she told a reader that she paid to have that font available because she likes it so much. 

[slickcat79]

11 hours ago, L1o2u3 said:

I seriously wonder what all those conservative Christian families do that oppose Obamacare and similar measures but want to have a quiver full of children. And want to live debt-free on a single income. Honestly, how can they afford having so many kids when each birth is 4,000 $? 

They join programs like Samaritan Ministries, where they're actively encouraged to choose the most reckless healthcare options. For example, SM has a minimum cost that you have to meet before they'll reimburse your expenses (around $300 IIRC). But that minimum is waived for birth if you choose homebirth or VBAC. 

[Hane]

17 hours ago, EowynW said:

Just a note, in states where it's legal, a midwife is also a trained, licensed professional. In my state they are as legit as the CNMs & OBs.  Many here also work hand in hand with the local OBGYNs and CNMs. My area is a hotbed for some amazing midwifery practices. 

Average price for self pay for a homebirth for my area is $3500 to 4000. Most midwives will let you pay it out. Some will even barter services if their clients are professionals in other fields. Not all insurances cover a home or birth center birth. I have no idea what a birth center birth costs but I think it's $4-5000 in my area.

Here in Connecticut, my daughter saw a CNM for her prenatal care. CNMs are common here, but I have no idea how expensive their malpractice insurance is. (Our state capital is called the Insurance City, so you get a picture of how things operate here, a state with many wealthy people and the worst income inequality in the US.)  To be honest, I don't know a single person who intentionally had a home birth here.

[lilwriter85]

4 hours ago, EowynW said:

That's funny because all the unsassisted births I know of around here are not QF people. They are uber crunchy atheist hippies lol 

That is how it is/was in some areas here in New Mexico. My grandmother had some crunchy hippie neighbors back in the 70s and 80s who had an unassisted home births. She said in one case the infant died soon after the birth. She said that some of those hippie neighbors later found midwives to help them with home births. 

[EowynW]

11 minutes ago, slickcat79 said:

They join programs like Samaritan Ministries, where they're actively encouraged to choose the most reckless healthcare options. For example, SM has a minimum cost that you have to meet before they'll reimburse your expenses (around $300 IIRC). But that minimum is waived for birth if you choose homebirth or VBAC. 

But they will only cover your birth IF you are a member before you are pregnant. My parents have Samaritan. My sister & BIL have medshare or something. Can't remember. 

Mr. EW has some insurance through work. I think they only cover hospital birth only. We can get a homebirth for under a thousand for us due to having family & friends in the industry. 

2 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

That is how it is/was in some areas here in New Mexico. My grandmother had some crunchy hippie neighbors back in the 70s and 80s who had an unassisted home births. She said in one case the infant died soon after the birth. She said that some of those hippie neighbors later found midwives to help them with home births. 

Most of the ones I know had good prenatal care all through the pregnancy then just did the birth alone. A few had a mostly hands off births but with the midwife hanging out in another room or something. 

[quiversR4hunting]

9 hours ago, onemama said:

I’m pretty much left to handle everything. Our large home, numerous children, the garden, homeschooling etc.

<snipped onemama's quote from Lori's fb)

First, this lady needs to see a doctor and get her kids in a school.

2nd she needs to get in real counseling, preferably with hubs and work on getting the house in order.

This family is a disaster waiting to happen, if the scenario is real. 

[December]

5 hours ago, Koala said:

Am I missing something?  Does this term have other meanings?  I have been pretty heavily immersed in fundie terminology, but this is a new one on me.

I remember there being some discussion on here about "covenant marriages" that took place in states where it wasn't legally recognized. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the idea was that they made special vows (or maybe signed something? or both?) that promised they'd follow similar rules to those legal covenant marriage. 

[onemama]

This is from a comment on the silly women post. She's answering Trey's question. 

Quote

I asked him what he would do if I still refused to listen. He said that there are only two choices 1) to press harder or 2) to disengage. He spoke about the negatives of both of those choices. Honestly, I think he would disengage. Having a rebellious wife would really disgust him. Early in our marriage we had a misunderstanding and he could hardly even look at me. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be seen with me and may take it so far that he would attend a different church.

Another commenter says, regarding women dressing "immodestly"

Quote

 The countries that enforce a strict dress code have the right idea.

To which another one replies:

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Other countries that enforce dress code are countries like Saudia Arabia and Iran where women have to dress in a burka and only eyes are allowed to be seen. Is that really a life you want to live? You can dress modest without going to the extreme.

Our friend Submissive has this to say: 

Quote

modesty begins in the heart. If she is submitting to everything the pastor says but she cannot submit to you her husband she is out of order and needs a sharp rebuke. Men today have to put there foot down and command obedience, if a wife cannot obey her husband then she needs to leave. Plain and simple. She can go back to her father with her rebellious attitude..smh

I'm reading and I can't believe what I'm seeing.  A husband is disgusted because his wife disagrees with him?  He would attend a different church if she wore something he didn't give his "ok" to?  It's good to have strict dress codes and the government should issue laws about what we may and may not wear?  Men should put their foot down and demand obedience from their wives?  This is beyond anything that can be called "submission" or "christian marriage". This is wrong and Lori's enjoying it. 

[EowynW]

54 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

<snipped onemama's quote from Lori's fb)

First, this lady needs to see a doctor and get her kids in a school.

2nd she needs to get in real counseling, preferably with hubs and work on getting the house in order.

This family is a disaster waiting to happen, if the scenario is real. 

This is exactly why I told me EW I positively did. not. want. a lot of kids. I've seen what happens to homeschool moms left to run everything plus homeschool. It ain't pretty on momma even though many of the kids had a good life. 

[delphinium65]

11 minutes ago, onemama said:

Having a rebellious wife would really disgust him. Early in our marriage we had a misunderstanding and he could hardly even look at me. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be seen with me and may take it so far that he would attend a different church.

If that's not a red flag of warning I don't know what is.  Run, 'rebellious wife.'  Run, run, RUN!

[Koala]

Reader:

Quote

Lori, do you have any advice for me on how/if to approach an older woman in my family who I greatly respect? Her husband made some very bad mistakes and is reticent on making amends. He has (after quite some time) apologized but not much more. She has moved on (literally and physically) and is enjoying a great life of being surrounded by family she loves and a high paying job. If she goes back to him, it is possible she will have to give that all up now.

Lori?  Well, Lori thinks misery is the ticket:

Quote

Give her the article I referenced in the post, Michelle. It may cause her to reconsider what she is doing.

Reply

What she's doing?  She is overcoming whatever "very bad mistakes" her husband made, and moving on with her life.  The last thing she needs to do, is listen to a bunch of miserable shrews, online.

[polecat]

Quoting from Koala's quote -- 

Quote

Lori, do you have any advice for me on how/if to approach an older woman in my family who I greatly respect?

Hmmm, lessee ... 

1. Her husband made some very bad mistakes and is reticent on making amends.

So the guy screwed up badly and has no intention of making it right ... 

2. He has (after quite some time) apologized but not much more.

He said he's sorry, but he hasn't actually made any reparations or repented of his wrongdoing. 

3.  She has moved on (literally and physically) and is enjoying a great life of being surrounded by family she loves and a high paying job.

Sounds like a good deal for this older woman.

4. If she goes back to him, it is possible she will have to give that all up now.

Yeah, I'm not sure why she'd want to give up a great life, family, friends, a great job, a good paycheck, etc. for an unrepentant asshole. But let's see what Lori says ... 

 

Quote

Give her the article I referenced in the post, Michelle. It may cause her to reconsider what she is doing.

Wait, what? What SHE is doing? What's SHE doing? She's moved on with her life, is surrounded by friends, family members, loved ones, is working hard, paying her bills, living ...

Seems to me that HE is the one who needs to be reconsidering his ways -- maybe HE should be reconsidering his unrepentant assholian behavior. And why is this chica thinking she has any business whatsoever approaching this "older" woman in the first place? Mind your own marriage, woman!