Aunt Lori Alexander 22: Criticising your poop and pining for Gilead

[louisa05]

10 hours ago, polecat said:

I only do this when we have guests over or it's a holiday or special meal. I don't have a dishwasher, so if I'm going to use pots and pans to cook a meal and then put everything in serving dishes for the table, there'd better be a darn good reason for it (like guests or a special meal, lol). If it's just us? I serve in the kitchen, which means that I'm usually the plate-fixer. It's not a big deal. It's simply about convenience and making less work for me.

When did I say anything about serving dishes?The food goes on the table in the pot if it is just us. The only exception is steamed vegetables because, well, steamer pot with just boiled water. So those get dumped in a dish or on a plate.

Pots went on the table in the absence of company when I was a kid, too.

@usmcmom All the "I do it because I am kind" or "but husband works out in the heat" stuff was pretty irritating to be frank. Mr 05 works outside most of his day too. But the awkwardness of my reaching over the food to grab his plate and dish up food for him while it is all directly in front of him is not going to save him enough energy to make a difference. I am also flummoxed by the shrugging off of food waste ("if it's more than he wants he can scrape it into the garbage")--no. I cook enough for two meals most nights. Last night's leftover sides are tonight's sides so no having either of us scraping some into the garbage because someone else put too much on the plate.

[Koala]

28 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Well Ken would tell her, right? I imagine that would be her answer. 

Then she has to argue that all men have sound doctrine.  Of course, all men don't agree, so that presents quite the conundrum for a "silly" woman like Lori.  She's easily deceived, so how would she know if Ken was deceived.  

Funny how that works.  Either way, according to Lori's logic, women should be learning from men instead of her.

 

[EowynW]

3 minutes ago, Koala said:

Then she has to argue that all men have sound doctrine.  Of course, all men don't agree, so that presents quite the conundrum for a "silly" woman like Lori.  She's easily deceived, so how would she know if Ken was deceived.  

Funny how that works.  Either way, according to Lori's logic, women should be learning from men instead of her.

 

No she doesn't. She was just bitching about John mcarther leaning more egalitarian the other day. 

[Koala]

Let's take it a step further.  If woman is easily deceived, and must rely on her husband's understanding,  then her choices (and even salvation) rests firmly on her husband's shoulders.

Her only "safe" option is to cook, clean, serve, have children, and blindly obey.  She just needs to be trained to know that the sound of a glass rattling means it's time for her to get up and refill it.  No other thinking or education necessary (much less, a blog).

You see, once you convince women that they can't even trust their own minds, there's no point in them thinking at all.  Or reading the Bible.  They are mere machines, built to server their husband's needs and whims.

Speaking of which, Lori should probably get off the net and start listening for the sound of Ken's lemonade glass rattling.  He'll be forced to criticize her again, if she's late.

[polecat]

38 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

When did I say anything about serving dishes?

I'm not sure how you meant this to come across, but it's coming across to me as really confrontational. 

You said nothing about serving dishes, but it's always been the custom in my family (both of origin and now) to move food from the pots and pans they were cooked in and into serving dishes. I've not seen anyone serve food on the table in the original cooking pans, so it didn't occur to me to do it that way. 

[usmcmom]

9 hours ago, louisa05 said:

@usmcmom All the "I do it because I am kind" or "but husband works out in the heat" stuff was pretty irritating to be frank. Mr 05 works outside most of his day too. But the awkwardness of my reaching over the food to grab his plate and dish up food for him while it is all directly in front of him is not going to save him enough energy to make a difference.

To be honest, I have not gone back to look at my original post but I don't think I said "I do it because I am kind" If I did, I am quite sorry because sometimes I am very unkind (but working on it). My husband doesn't work in the heat unless it is at home in our own yard, so that doesn't apply to me either  

Frankly, I don't know why I do it except...I like it. I certainly don't care how others serve their meals. I grew up in a home where my mom kept the pans on the stove and we all served ourselves - worked for us then. When our kids were home and busy with lots of activities, lots of meals were "grab it from the crock pot when you have ten minutes." 

I do deliberately cook extra when I can  because I love leftovers for lunch. Sometimes I order extra at a restaurant for the same reason. I recently discovered that leftover grilled salmon is delicious in scrambled eggs. 

Anyway, it is all kind of pointless for us now because we have a lot going on and are lucky to eat a hamburger in the car, where I carefully tuck a napkin into my husband's shirt. Then I hold the burger to his mouth and let him eat it bite by bite as he drives. Then when he says "drink" I hold his cup to his mouth and wipe his lips when he is finished sipping. Heh. I am totally kidding. REALLY!  

[Koala]

So this is how we do dinner at our house-

My husband LOVES to cook.  I hate cooking.  That said, I don't work, so these days I usually cook out of convenience on weekdays.  When our kids were younger, he cooked a lot more, and he still likes to cook for us on weekends.

I have a large farm table, but we still serve plates from the kitchen unless it's a holiday.  Sounds lazy, but I am not dirtying a bunch of serving platters just to have to clean them up 30 mins later.  I make plates for everyone unless we're having something like tacos, and people want to pick their own toppings.  Everyone gets their own drink, and everyone goes back for their own seconds.  

No one has to eat anything they don't want, and they can get seconds of anything they want more of (I always have plenty).

My husband doesn't expect to be served, in fact, he almost always offers to get his own.  I like to do things for him, though, and to be perfectly honest, he spoils me.  For that matter, we look for ways to spoil each other.  

Much like @usmcmom mentioned, he always gets my plate when we are at large gatherings.  I have pretty bad social anxiety, so getting up to get a plate would be really uncomfortable for me.  Bless his heart, he always gets exactly what I want.

 

[polecat]

6 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

When our kids were home and busy with lots of activities, lots of meals were "grab it from the crock pot when you have ten minutes." 

We do this a lot in the summer -- I have a social butterfly kid who is pretty much gone from dawn till dusk in the summer (just at friends' houses or the park or wherever). Plus, the slow cooker doesn't seem to heat up the kitchen as much. It's so much easier just to put something on and let people grab food when they're hungry. And especially if you have extra people in and out like random neighborhood kids. I think here again, it's one of those things where you do what works for you and your family.

(snipped post for brevity)

[usmcmom]

8 hours ago, Koala said:

Much like @usmcmom mentioned, he always gets my plate when we are at large gatherings.  I have pretty bad social anxiety, so getting up to get a plate would be really uncomfortable for me.  Bless his heart, he always gets exactly what I want.

I have anxiety as well, especially in very large crowds. It usually dissipates after I have been in the setting a while, but this is one of the reasons my husband gets my plate at receptions, etc. After I have sat and visited a bit while we all eat, I am usually much more relaxed and can get up and mingle and dance. So I guess his getting my plate is a way for him to help me ease into a situation. I am hoping that here at FJ, of all places, this is an acceptable reason to allow him to serve me. 

[Koala]

3 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

It usually dissipates after I have been in the setting a while, but this is one of the reasons my husband gets my plate at receptions, etc. After I have sat and visited a bit while we all eat, I am usually much more relaxed and can get up and mingle and dance. 

I am the exact same way.  I do much better after I have settled in.

5 minutes ago, polecat said:

We do this a lot in the summer -- I have a social butterfly kid who is pretty much gone from dawn till dusk in the summer (just at friends' houses or the park or wherever). Plus, the slow cooker doesn't seem to heat up the kitchen as much. It's so much easier just to put something on and let people grab food when they're hungry.

I love my crock pot.  I use it a lot.  So easy to "cook" dinner in the morning.

[delphinium65]

40 minutes ago, EowynW said:

No she doesn't. She was just bitching about John mcarther leaning more egalitarian the other day. 

But...but...he's a man. He can't be wrong!  We women should be learning from him! Aunt Lori is a woman, she may be deceived!  

[usmcmom]

28 minutes ago, Koala said:

I am the exact same way.  I do much better after I have settled in.

I love my crock pot.  I use it a lot.  So easy to "cook" dinner in the morning.

Even with just my husband and I at home, I use my crockpot quite a bit - even in summer. I make a big batch of something and put it in smaller storage containers after the first meal. Then I use what I call my baby crockpot (or my empty nesters' crockpot) to heat up the rest on different nights. At about three, I dump the leftovers in the babycrock pot and decide supper is ready. This usually works best if I remember to actually turn the crockpot on. 

*Suddenly "crockpot" looks and sounds funny. I don't think I have used that word so much in one day EVER. I need a life. 

[dairyfreelife]

33 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

But...but...he's a man. He can't be wrong!  We women should be learning from him! Aunt Lori is a woman, she may be deceived!  

No, no, only Ken and Lori are right. Even Jesus was wrong. Anything or anyone that disagrees with them disagrees with God. Except, wasn't Jesus God? So if Jesus is wrong, doesn't that mean they believe God was wrong? So they think they are actually above their God? 

[quiversR4hunting]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

So am I the only person left in the world who actually puts the food on the table to serve a meal? Is this where the confusion is? Because I do. And if I were filling his plate it would be with him and the food sitting in front of me which would give him the status of a king or a very small child, not sure which. I asked him, btw, and he found the idea of someone else filling an adult's plate absent illness or disability to be absurd. <sniped>

Growing up we rarely served/plated up from the kitchen. If we do it now it is because whatever we are serving is too big, too hot or too heavy to put on the table. Typically, I (or my husband we both cook, we both serve, etc) put the food on the table (usually in the cooking dishes) however either my husband or I often serve. If the pan just came out of the oven, we can't pass the dish so one of us usually stands up and asks for each plate, ask how much and put it on the plate. Then we pass the salad, veggie, applesauce or whatever else is on the table. If we have baked potatoes, I put them on one plate from the microwave and then quickly transfer them to the kid's plates (my husband eats rice, not potatoes). The 9yo and 13yo are good at passing but the 5 yo can't pass the big dishes so someone usually dishes her stuff up or helps her pass. So we use a hybrid approach.

When my family (parents, siblings, their kids- total 13 ppl) all sit down together at the lake house (we all inherited my late-aunt's lake house) one of the adults serves at the table. Everyone passes plates down, says what they want from the hot dishes (usually the main food) and then we pass the dishes that can be passed (salad, dressings, bread, etc). On some items we try and put items at each end of the table to help with self serve (corn on the cob, butter, salt/pepper, syrup, fruit, etc). Again, with kids and 13 people crammed in a small space, someone doing the initial plating of the main food is a big help. (kitchen/dining area too small to do buffet style)

As for events that have a buffet, my husband and I will each bring back appetizers to the table to share but get our plates for the main course. Kind of like if he is going up to the bar to get a drink he asks if I want something and I do the same. If our kids are with us, we help each other because the 5 yo will drop her food if someone doesn't carry her plate. So she helps carry other stuff, like silverware (if it is a potluck or such).

I don't think it is weird to serve unless it is a demand and expectation out of a misogynistic or gender role thinking. From all the postings, it sounds like a lot of it is either culturally how they were raised or grew out of convenience (like me or husband serving the kids from the hot dishes).

[delphinium65]

Isn't Lysa TerKeurst the one Lori said was to blame for her own marriage problems, and saying she should have stayed with her husband no matter what?   http://ashley-easter.squarespace.com/blog/to-those-blaming-lysa-terkeurst-for-her-husbands-cheating-stop-it  

[EowynW]

@delphinium65 yes. 

[Liza]

On 6/20/2017 at 6:06 AM, Curious said:

Frankly, if Lori is going to heaven I'd rather be in hell.

I KIND OF HALF TAKE THIS BACK ... AS I STILL FEAR IT, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT SURE I BELIEVE IN IT.

[Koala]

I am trying to figure out screenshots.  No luck so far.

In any case, Easily Deceived Lori is busy teaching Rob today.

Rob says:

Quote

What I can see as a little example of this may seem small but to me it’s bothersome. At our church, my wife included, and yes I’ve mentioned it to her is wearing pro active clothes to church, example skinny jeans. My wife is beautiful. Very attractive but to me especially in the Lord’s dwelling, let’s not bare all like that—why?? Because it’s potentially drawing the attention of other married men. They may not get give a second glance But you can tell me when they see a woman dressed with all her curves to show, there mind might slip for a minute.

So my question to you women is why dress like this? Tights(butts exposed) skinny jeans or whatever then be upset when a man has a look. I work very hard at training my eyes and mind when I see this on other woman.

I’m not saying don’t be beautiful because woman are beautiful. How about though a little old fashioned and modest? To me that’s beautiful. Draw the attention of your own husband and not that of others. Anyway that’s my thought.

Reply

Another (female) reader automatically chimes in: 

Spoiler

Rob, that’s a good thought. I wonder that too. I wish the authority in their lives (husbands and fathers) would put their foot down, mine does. Because of my husband, neither my daughter nor I dress in such a manner. Even my daughter is always made to wear long shorts under her dresses just in case she does something that her dress may bounce up.

Rob (again) asks for their thoughts:

Spoiler

Tmichelle I’m not a prude or anything like that. It is just we are in a world of radical sin so why give the enemy any foot hold on us?
Even thoughts can be sinful so we need to protect ourselves.

When I mentioned this to my wife she gets upset saying you’re not my father so don’t tell me what to do or wear. No, but biblically speaking I feel it’s very disrespectful towards me to dress like that. Isn’t it?? tMichelle am I wrong on that? What do you think?

Why is Godly Guy Rob asking a couple of easily deceived women what they think?  

Godly Lori (who doesn't teach men) also weighs in:

Spoiler

You have every right to tell your wife if something is inappropriate to wear, Rob. Ken told me when we first got married that I couldn’t wear leggings so I stopped. Now, if I do wear them, they are under a dress for warmth

Why doesn't Lori just send him to a male teacher?  How does she know that she can trust her silly little woman brain to answer Rob's question?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

8 minutes ago, Koala said:

I am trying to figure out screenshots.  No luck so far.

Try the print screen button on keyboard ("prtsc" on mine). Then paste into the paint program that comes with windows and you can edit it as you like. 

[usmcmom]

Sigh. 

I simply don't have time to keep finding this photo but it's not gonna publish itself. So.  

Lori, why DO women continue to dress in a way that will make a man lust? You know; like wearing necklines that plunge to your hips??  

[Koala]

Thank you @AlwaysDiscerning

@usmcmom The crazy thing, is that's not the worst of it.  There's another one that's absolutely ridiculous.  Some navy top cut nearly to the navel.  I'd have been embarrassed beyond all reason, but Lori's smiling into the camera like she doesn't have a care in the world.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

And some want all postitve reviews on amazon.

[onemama]

Oh, Lori, context! 

The passage begins a bit earlier, but I'm going to start at verse 23 of the preceding chapter, the end of the passage that describes a "workman approved", as it might help you understand what Paul was getting at.  (She quotes this little bit to make her point in her post today: " For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2 Timothy 3:6, 7)

Quote

23 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24 And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Lori, perhaps you should focus on yourself, avoiding controversies and quarrels, being kind to everyone.  
 

Quote

 

Chapter 3:

in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

 

You forgot what those people would be like.  Again, like above, check and see that none of these apply to you.  

After that, yes, we do get to the part you quoted, but the whole purpose of it wasn't to point that women are more easily deceived, but to tell the church to stand against such people.  Not by quarreling with them and constantly provoking them, but seeing them for their folly. 

 

[delphinium65]

38 minutes ago, Koala said:

I am trying to figure out screenshots.  No luck so far.

In any case, Easily Deceived Lori is busy teaching Rob today.
 

Where is this happening? I checked (admittedly a quick scan) her blog and didn't find it.  I want if possible to screenshot it for possible future reference.  

[usmcmom]

15 minutes ago, Koala said:

Thank you @AlwaysDiscerning

@usmcmom The crazy thing, is that's not the worst of it.  There's another one that's absolutely ridiculous.  Some navy top cut nearly to the navel.  I'd have been embarrassed beyond all reason, but Lori's smiling into the camera like she doesn't have a care in the world.

Oh, I know. The photo you refer to haunts me. Heh. I can't remember where she wore that specific top but it is WAAAAAAAAAAY low. 

Ken can take his "Christian Risqué" and shove it. It merely translates into "Giant hypocrites."  I think Lori and Ken both like for people to notice her revealing clothing. What better way for her to show off how thin she is?'b