Aunt Lori Alexander 21: Bringing About Gilead One Doodle at a Time

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Wow, yup all the comments are gone. Thry weren't nasty comments at all they simply disagreed. I think she does it in middle of night thinking people will wake up and think what they saw the night before was all a bad dream. I am really charged up to keep getting these screenshots.

If she would allow these comments to stand I doubt she would get as many bad reviews on her book. ON amazon it can't be deleted and people probably go there to get thier voice heard.its eating her up that she can't control those reviews by deleting.

Deleting is her easy button and she always seeks the easy way out.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Where on her author page is this forum?

Notice she is putting all her blog posts on amazon.

[Curious]

So I'm not calling Lori (or her editor) a liar, but this was the first book I clicked on in the "people who bought x also bought" section under Lori's book.

Also, how old is the picture she used for her author picture?  That does not look like the Lori of today, IMO.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Poor Karan...she has no idea that will be gone in an hour.

 

 

[onemama]

I tried to read Ken's latest Wall-of text, the temper tantrum post. It's infuriating how he mixes truth with a whole bunch of twisted ideas.  

-bitterness destroys the bitter person and those around him/her. Yes.

- bitterness can only be healed from the inside out, from the heart. Yes

- only God can heal bitterness.  Yes (and you are entitled to a different opinion, anyone who doesn't believe in God)

- a major turn of change for the good usually requires some form of accountability as we are prone to lapse. Yes.

But then he throws in gems like 

- women are more prone to bitterness than men. Chapter and verse, Ken?

- husbands can't be expected to suffer indefinitely.  Chapter and verse?

- counselors can't help when it comes to bitterness.  No, Ken, you NEED counseling to, lovingly, without recriminations and hurling of Bible verses -as you are prone to do- get to the root of the problem.  A good counselor who is him/herself a follower of Jesus will be able to help the person acknowledge the root of the problem and lead them to the place where they want to change.  What you do is pile on the guilt. "You're unforgiving, bitter and awful. You need to change because I can't put up with your lack of desire for me any more."

Ken, women live with this too.  We live with husbands who don't want to face the deeper issues that are leading them to screw up their lives and those of the people around them.  We can't fully get rid of the handed-down effect of men who  have refused to take any responsibility for their issues and have used their family members as crutches, messing them  up too.   

I guess, the bottom line is that we live in a world that is broken.  There's enough pain to go around many times, with leftovers.  But you seem to think that women should be berated into getting over their pain and men should be won over with no words -by their wives-.  You elevate a man who (temporarily) plays the role of suffering servant to win his wife, while you take it for granted that a wife should embrace a life of that kind of sacrifice. You think this is God's design, but I disagree.  We both find healing in exactly the same place, and we both find it as we are made aware (by people, usually) of what we're dealing with, and as we receive the unconditional love of Jesus. 

If you truly love women and men  who are hurting in their marriages, tell your wife to shut her mouth and stop spewing venom at women.  Stop placing more responsibility on women than you do on men. Stop the double standards.  Stop allowing the Daves and Treys to post on a blog for women.  Quit reading manosphere material and carefully consider whether Michael and Debi pearl are the sort of people you want to be like.  Read what's between the lines -I'll tell you, lots of disrespect and contempt, and yes, bitterness-.  

 

 

[EowynW]

4 hours ago, Joyce said:

Lori: "I didn't write this book to make money."

Does Lori have a link where we can read her book for free? If she doesn't need the money, she can send the ebook for free to everyone who supports her on social media and ask for a 5 star review.

Excerpt of Lori's Amazon biography: "Please read the discussion forum on her author's page to find out why she has received so many negative reviews of her book with only 1 star. She has never taught that any form of abuse is acceptable and she never will."

Every time Lori hits the delete key on social media, she risks getting a 1 star review. 

But she sort of us, by saying it's not even acceptable to leave an abusive husband. And that if a wife acts godly a husband will have no need to abuse her.

[EowynW]

Well Dale, if you and Lori weren't such assholes...

[onemama]

15 hours ago, onemama said:

They always counsel women to obey, to keep submitting, to keep trusting God, all on the premise that 1st Peter 3 is some kind of a promise.  Well, I think there's some sort of similar "promise" somewhere in 1st Corinthians, perhaps chapter 7. I can't remember and don't feel like hunting it down.

Here is the passage I referred to last night:

Quote

12To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

First, this is Paul's opinion. 

Second, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, you are no longer "enslaved" - I'm assuming this means you are free to remarry?- 

Third, both husbands and wives are told that by living with an unbeliever as a husband or wife you may, indeed, lead them to be saved.  

Unlike Ken and Lori, I don't like to base my beliefs on one isolated verse.  They go on and on about how a wife can save her husband's eternal soul and that there's a promise in 1st Peter 3 that husbands don't have, but there it is, black and white: living with an unbelieving spouse may lead the unbelieving spouse to salvation. But there is no guarantee and neither are given the "right" to end the relationship or set down limits and boundaries. It's not in those passages. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

On her description of her book:

Quote

 It also is causing fireworks in cyberspace as her trolls dog her wherever they can to give a contrary opinion or malicious word

Heaven forbid someone give a contrary opinion....its fireworks to do so!! They actually admit that its wrong to have a contrary opinion, you are a troll if you do so. Unbelievable. 

[BlackSheep]

I'm half tempted to buy Lori's book, give it a scathing Verified Purchase review that she can't delete, return the book, and use that money to buy something else.

But I won't. I don't want the money that I earned at My Job to be in her pocket for even a moment.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

There is a commenter on facebook claiming those who are persecuted walk the narrow path. In other words, persecution is a sign you are a good Christian, but Lori and her groupies mistake persecution and disagreement. 

She should heed the words of this wise fellow:

[Joyce]

@AlwaysDiscerning I can't find Lori's discussion page on Amazon. Maybe it doesn't exist? Or maybe her Facebook page on The Transformed Wife serves as her discussion page.

I found a Goodreads page on her book. Here's the link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32666506-the-power-of-a-transformed-wife

@EowynW Yes, tolerating abuse can mean that abuse is acceptable.

[Loveday]

I just did a 'search' on FB for The Transformed Wife, because I don't follow her and that's the quickest way I can get to her page. Almost at the very top of the results page is a link to Spiritual Sounding Board featuring this headline: "The Dangerous Teachings of Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife." You can't miss it, even though it's the second thing that shows up rather than the first.

With any luck, at least some of the people who get to her page this way will see that link and be curious enough to follow it. 

[Koala]

She is vile.

 

https://thetransformedwife.com/the-destructive-nature-of-peaceful-parenting/

Lori:

Quote

 Now, there are a bunch of entitled adults running around acting as if the world revolves around them and feeling entitled to having anything they want when they want.

Is that supposed to be a self description, because it sounds just like her.

[louisa05]

Among the evangelicals/fundamentalists/neo-pentecostals I have known, "bitter" is a catch-all phrase applied to anyone who expresses disagreement, reservations or unhappiness. It is a way to demonize that person and minimize any very real concerns or emotions they may have. 

For some reason, I suspect that Ken is using it that way when he casts all unhappy wives as "bitter". 

 

[onemama]

5 minutes ago, Koala said:

 Now, there are a bunch of entitled adults running around acting as if the world revolves around them and feeling entitled to having anything they want when they want.

I knwo adults like that. Some of them were spanked, even beaten severely, by their parents. 

[Pink Muffin]

This reply from Kathi Bonham did disappear really fast. I bet Kathi is banned now from Loris Facebook.

[louisa05]

On a catty note, my mother, who will turn 73 in a few weeks, has way better skin and way less wrinkles than Lori. She actually looks younger than Lori. If I didn't know how old Lori is, I would guess her to be in my mother's age group based on appearance

How does someone so obsessed with appearance and expensive make-up and products neglect skincare that badly and end up looking that bad? It is so weird. 

[delphinium65]

3 hours ago, onemama said:

...husbands can't be expected to suffer indefinitely...

But women can, right?  

 

Aunt Lori claims that she has never taught that abuse is okay, but she wants to make damned sure that women are defenseless when they are abused, she wants to reduce them to being personal property/slaves, with no more rights than children, and if you've read what she says about children, well, they have no rights in Loriland either. She may not say outright yes, guys, it's okay to abuse women, but she certainly facilitates all kinds of abuse. 

[BlackSheep]

I imagine that for today's doodle on spanking, Lori's thought process was something like this:

"Okaaaaay, what topic will make my fangirls cheer and grind the gears of those who persecute me. Hmm. What haven't I blogged about lately? Ooo, spanking. That'll get everyone on both sides riled up. Riled up people means more online traffic and more attention on me. Spanking! Perfect!"

[Evangeline]

You know, I was raised fundie, and I never, I mean never, heard that wives are responsible for their husbands' salvation. In fact, it was always taught that husbands have the greater responsibility in marriage, as the spiritual head of the home. My Fundie pastor, who attended BJU, started marriage counseling sessions with the assumption that the husband was not doing his job. His opinion was that wives who are well-loved do not have to be  forced to submit because they WANT their husbands to be happy and already trust their leadership. Now, of course this isn't entirely correct and based on stereotypes, but it's still light years better than the Church of Lori and Ken. I've known many PCC-inspired pastors who weren't quite as generous toward wives as my pastor, but still, there was never any hint of this completely made up theology. Congrats, Ken and Lori. You are much worse for marriages than some of the most Fundie organizations in America.

[polecat]

Lori is tackling the topic of peaceful parenting, a concept she cannot possibly understand because she spent all her time locking her kids in their rooms and beating them when she finally did let them out. 

Her chat room fan club pile on, with comments like: 

Quote

“Honestly, I feel teaching your children how to mind and be obedient/compliant IS in their best interest and for their well-being.”

Yeah, teaching your kids to be compliant is going to be suuuuppppper awesome for their well-being when they happen upon an abuser. So lemme tell you about how my kid faced down a teacher this past year. He stood up for something he believed in. His teacher berated him in front of his entire class for it. My kid, 13 at the time, continued standing up for what he believed in and refused to back down. Had I raised a "compliant, obedient" child, he'd have obeyed compliantly and backed down, doing what the teacher told him. He would NOT have stood up for what he believed in. Instead, he continued to stand up for what was right, and I was a seriously proud mom. I can guarantee that "Chat Room Sarah's" obedient, compliant children wouldn't have dared to do the same because they've not been given the tools to stand up for themselves. Not ever.

Chat Room Samantha also doesn't know jack about peaceful parenting. She's just spouting off whatever she thinks will get her head pats from Lori.

Quote

This kind of parenting leads to spoiled rotten brats that have no respect for anyone or anything in my opinion.

Nah, it teaches kids that they are individuals who are worthy of respect just as you are an individual worthy of respect. A parent who lets their kid walk all over them while parenting peacefully is going to do it while parenting any other way, too. It has nothing to do with parenting style but with an inability to be an authority figure. 

Chat Room Brooke is playing Internet Psychiatrist.

Quote

I feel like a lot of this parenting is a direct result of the first generation of real daycare kids now becoming parents.

Nah. My mom was a SAHM. Probably a lot like Lori, actually -- she was chronically ill, she stayed in her room a lot, and when she came out, she beat the hell out of us. She didn't have a housekeeper, though. That was the kids' job. And she didn't have nannies. We raised ourselves (when we weren't being beaten. Oh, we had a dad, but he traveled a lot for work (hm, kinda like Ken). 

Quote

They KNOW something was missing from their life, and they often don’t want to blame their parents, so they think if they do something different than how they were raised, their children won’t have this emptiness they feel.

Hm, Brooke, maybe you're right. I wonder if Lori's kids feel empty inside? I wonder if they feel like something was missing from their lives? 

 

Spoiler

I don't care how other people raise their kids as long as they love them and aren't abusing or neglecting them. But I don't appreciate people actively insulting my kids by calling them spoiled, rotten brats because of the way I've parented. I continually get compliments on my kids, which flusters me because I don't think it's ME at all. My parenting is hands-off enough that my kids have mostly just been allowed to blossom into the people they were meant to be. I didn't do this. They just are who they are. I've guided them and loved them and helped them along the way, but mostly, they're just kind, loving, gentle, *decent* people. Heck, my oldest was a finalist for an American Legion Award this spring, which was a pretty big deal. They're all active in charity and service organizations. I'm incredibly proud of them. Do they mess up? Sure, sometimes, and we work around it and help them through it and then move on. Peaceful parenting works as much as any other kind of parenting as long as you're consistent and authoritative. 

Just love your kids, have some standards for their behavior, and be consistent. 

And ffs, don't beat them over RAISANS.

 

 

[lilwriter85]

42 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

On a catty note, my mother, who will turn 73 in a few weeks, has way better skin and way less wrinkles than Lori. She actually looks younger than Lori. If I didn't know how old Lori is, I would guess her to be in my mother's age group based on appearance

How does someone so obsessed with appearance and expensive make-up and products neglect skincare that badly and end up looking that bad? It is so weird. 

I think a lot of it has to do with her not using sunscreen and spending way too much time in the sun. She might not be using moisturizers on a regular basis and maybe she lies about using expensive skin care products. If I didn't know Lori's age I would also guess her to be in that age group. 

Genetics are a factor in aging, I think Lori's mom looks she aged well based on many of the pictures that have been posted online. I recall Lori saying that her mother looked good because exercised more than people her age and then said that eating organic is what made her mother age well.  Maybe, Lori didn't inherit those genes. But, a part of me believes that hatefulness plays a part in premature aging for some people. My aunt passed a few weeks ago and her funeral was delayed and held last weekend. Her daughter is the age as Lori and she looks close to 70. My cousin is a hateful bitch like Lori. She's not religious, she is just nasty in other ways. My mom says that she thinks my cousin's nasty attitude is what aged her.

[onemama]

16 minutes ago, polecat said:

I continually get compliments on my kids, which flusters me because I don't think it's ME at all. My parenting is hands-off enough that my kids have mostly just been allowed to blossom into the people they were meant to be. I didn't do this. They just are who they are. I've guided them and loved them and helped them along the way, but mostly, they're just kind, loving, gentle, *decent* people.

What was that Jesus said?  “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 17Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

A lot more leading your little kids to Jesus would do away with the "need" to "spank".  It took me years to finally start to understand that God wants a relationship with me, that He loves me even when I mess up. That He wants to change me from the inside.  Years.  I was spanked a lot as a kid and spanking was a tool to try to control us.  By the age of 19 I couldn't wait to get away from my parents' home and the feeling that they disapproved of everything I ever did.  Our relationship is better now, but I stand up for myself and what I believe.   I want my kids to not have to go through that. 

By the way, repeatedly striking a child on their bottom is not to be found anywhere in the Bible. 

[lawfulevil]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

I knwo adults like that. Some of them were spanked, even beaten severely, by their parents. 

My parents beat the shit out of me on a regular basis and I still think I deserve things like food and healthcare and a living wage, so clearly the belt is not a cure for what Lori would describe as "entitlement" in youth.