Jinjer: Shopping in Bookstores

[marmalade]

No bump in March, no bump as of last week. 

Sorry about the button thing. When I worked as a bank teller in college, we were trained to notice stuff like that to ID a perp. Old habits die hard.

[LilMissMetaphor]

On 6/2/2017 at 11:50 AM, FleeJanaFree said:

I keep some in my living room ostentatiously 'for my nieces and nephews',

*Ostensibly.

[Ace3]

3 hours ago, defraudedbychipendales said:

Very late to this discussion, but my boy is 5 and has been listening to HP since he was born.

 

never read any, stopped watching after #3 but I loooove the recordings.

I love the audiobooks! My family lives 3 hours away so whenever I was taking my son to visit (my husband's grandma was dying so I took him at least once a month to see her) I would turn on the audiobooks and just drive. My son started talking back to them because he thought they were conversing with him! He still loves the voices! 

[eveandadam]

When I see that picture I am again astonished about the difference in height between husband and wife with all Duggar girls, especially Jill and Derick; Jinger and Jeremy. It does not seem to be a cultural norm in the U.S. that a tall man tends to marry a tall wife? I love it! I love the combo of a tall man and relatively short wife (the Duggar girls are not short though in general). Back when I still dated men, I would have loved to have a tall boyfriend. I'm very short, 5'2'', in Germany this is really extremely short, but I would have loved a man 6 feet or taller. I have the impression that at least in Germany the norm is more that short people enter a relationship and tall people enter a relationship with each other. Being tall gives you major attractiveness points not only as a man,  but especially for women, being short is looked down upon :-(. So I really love the height difference the Duggars and Bates girls are showing with their husbands.

[Kailash]

I cannot find the "missing button". And now I'm asking myself why I looked for it. Buttons pop off. *shrugs* Sometimes FJ messes with my head.

eta: I found it! Well we know what kind of slob I must be. Didn't notice it until it was pointed out and then didn't find it until the 3rd look.

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

34 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

When I see that picture I am again astonished about the difference in height between husband and wife with all Duggar girls, especially Jill and Derick; Jinger and Jeremy. It does not seem to be a cultural norm in the U.S. that a tall man tends to marry a tall wife? I love it! I love the combo of a tall man and relatively short wife (the Duggar girls are not short though in general). Back when I still dated men, I would have loved to have a tall boyfriend. I'm very short, 5'2'', in Germany this is really extremely short, but I would have loved a man 6 feet or taller. I have the impression that at least in Germany the norm is more that short people enter a relationship and tall people enter a relationship with each other. Being tall gives you major attractiveness points not only as a man,  but especially for women, being short is looked down upon :-(. So I really love the height difference the Duggars and Bates girls are showing with their husbands.

Oh well, I am a little too tall and sometimes I get a little annoyed seeing you cute petite girls taking all the tall guys!  Hahaha

But in all seriousness, don't worry about your height, I think short women are very feminine and I think it can be very attractive to guys. At least you don't have to shop for shoes in the men section and your trousers cover your ankles (more of a problem then it seems!).

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Oops! I didn't realize that pic with the mustard jacket was posted in March. Forgive me, Rufus.

[just_ordinary]

@eveandadam funny you said that, because I have a totally different feeling. I am small. Very small. Like 1,56 m small. My husband is 1,94m. I know a handful of tall men that have a small partner (and some tall women with a slightly smaller partner too). There is still hope ;-)

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

Once, a classmate walked all the way from the public transportation station to our college building with a long train of toilet paper stuck in between her stockings and skirt. On her way over, nobody bothered to mention it to her. Once she arrived at our building, one of the students immediately pointed it out to her and she could fix the situation. She felt so embarrassed knowing that a ton of people saw her walking like that and nobody bothered to tell her.
I guess that's a lot worse than a missing button ;-)

Also, I always find it funny how we speculate if someone is hiding a baby bump, while fundies are not exactly known for letting us in the dark about their pregnancies. We normally know they're pregnant long before any bump gets the chance to show.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@BemusedByFundamentalism--For you:

 As a reward for your hard labor. 

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@BemusedByFundamentalism--For you:

 As a reward for your hard labor. 

Thank you!!!!

[nvmbr02]

Yeah, a couple of years ago I went back to work part time. One my first day I was rushing out of the restroom and did not realize that I had my dress tucked into my leggings in the back. Thankfully I was working with special needs preschoolers and a few female teachers/therapists. The kids didn't care and the ladies had a good natured laugh at my expense and we moved on. Talk about your first day ice breaker. 

So yeah, a button isn't a big deal in my book. Who knows it may have even popped off that morning. 

[SorenaJ]

15 hours ago, MadeItOut said:

Did your date notice the change?

He didn't say anything, so I don't know. Maybe he was too polite to say anything. We are actually still dating. 

[Pukingpearl]

6 hours ago, eveandadam said:

When I see that picture I am again astonished about the difference in height between husband and wife with all Duggar girls, especially Jill and Derick; Jinger and Jeremy. It does not seem to be a cultural norm in the U.S. that a tall man tends to marry a tall wife? I love it! I love the combo of a tall man and relatively short wife (the Duggar girls are not short though in general). Back when I still dated men, I would have loved to have a tall boyfriend. I'm very short, 5'2'', in Germany this is really extremely short, but I would have loved a man 6 feet or taller. I have the impression that at least in Germany the norm is more that short people enter a relationship and tall people enter a relationship with each other. Being tall gives you major attractiveness points not only as a man,  but especially for women, being short is looked down upon :-(. So I really love the height difference the Duggars and Bates girls are showing with their husbands.

I'm 5'3 and my husband is 6'1. I think the only real height "taboo" in he US is a taller woman with a shorter man, but even that isn't so unusual, people might just comment and then move on. I remember reading an article for French class at some point about the differences between American do French relationships, and one was that it ore acceptable for "opposite relationships" to exist in the states...tall/short was born example they gave.

[Jana814]

25 minutes ago, Pukingpearl said:

I'm 5'3 and my husband is 6'1. I think the only real height "taboo" in he US is a taller woman with a shorter man, but even that isn't so unusual,

My mother's best friend is 2 or 3 inches taller then her husband. She just does not wear high heel shoes. I have a friend who's mother is taller then her father by a good 5 inches. She also does not wear heels. My friend got her father's height genes and her brother got their mother's. 

[breakfree]

7 hours ago, eveandadam said:

When I see that picture I am again astonished about the difference in height between husband and wife with all Duggar girls, especially Jill and Derick; Jinger and Jeremy. It does not seem to be a cultural norm in the U.S. that a tall man tends to marry a tall wife? I love it! I love the combo of a tall man and relatively short wife (the Duggar girls are not short though in general). Back when I still dated men, I would have loved to have a tall boyfriend. I'm very short, 5'2'', in Germany this is really extremely short, but I would have loved a man 6 feet or taller. I have the impression that at least in Germany the norm is more that short people enter a relationship and tall people enter a relationship with each other. Being tall gives you major attractiveness points not only as a man,  but especially for women, being short is looked down upon :-(. So I really love the height difference the Duggars and Bates girls are showing with their husbands.

I actually think women taller than 5'7" or 5'8" have it harder at least in the USA- the average man is only 5'8" or 5'9" still and most of them don't want to date someone who's taller than them and guys dating women taller than them can expect to have a hard time from other guys. My own husband who is a raging feminist in most ways doesn't like me to wear heels since they make me 'taller' than him; his brother flat out said once he wouldn't date a woman who was taller. I also of course have female friends who want to date someone taller than them even if they're tall. If they're taller than 5'7" this does limit options somewhat, especially considering that some percentage of men also wont consider dating them due to their height. I know if you're shorter than around your stated height (5'2") it can be hard to find clothes that fit quite right but this can be as or even more true for someone above 5'8". I'm right around 5'8" and it was always SUPER hard for me to find appropriate dresses and skirts to wear to work because they'd hang just a little too short, and those designed for 'tall' women were ridic too long, difficult to find, and also ridic more expensive, especially for something that still didn't fit right anyway.

So basically the grass is always greener, try to enjoy the perks (since there are always those too), trust me both sides have disadvantages.

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, Pukingpearl said:

 the differences between American do French relationships, and one was that it ore acceptable for "opposite relationships" to exist in the states...tall/short was born example they gave.

I assume "the woman is older" was not on that list of acceptable opposites in the U.S. I am over 5 years older than Mr. 05. We were both over 30 when we got married, and the gap puts us in the same generation. But I still endure being called a "cougar" and he still gets asked if I "wear the pants". (Answers: "and what do we call men who are 20 years older than their wives?" and "we both wear pants as public nudity is not acceptable"). A friend of mine who is 9 years younger than her husband responded very negatively to it when she found out he was younger than me around the time we got engaged.

As for height, I'm about 5'7" and Mr. 05 is 5'9"ish. If I wear heels, I am either taller or roughly the same height. He doesn't care either way. 

My mom is about 5'2" and my dad was a foot taller. On the other hand, my maternal grandfather was around 5'3" and Grandma was about my height. And she also wore heels whenever she wanted. I don't think he cared. 

 

[catlady]

in my experience, height has never been a thing.  MR. CL and i are the same height, and until my knee issues happened over the last couple of years, i wore 3" heels regularly; no one cared that i looked taller than him.  several of our friends have the same situation, and no one cares.  

i'm also 2 years older than he is, but it's always been nothing more than a curiosity.  we're currently 47 and 45.  now going back 1 or 2 generations, age was more of a thing.  one of my aunts was 5 years older than her husband, and it was always kind of a secret.  she never wanted anyone outside the immediate family to know.  

[VelociRapture]

@louisa05You and your husband sound like a great couple.

As far as my family:

1. Maternal grandparents - Grandpa is taller. Grandma is four months older.

2. Parents - Dad is significantly taller (about 6' to around 5'3"). He's also nine years older. I like to tease him that he was in Vietnam when mom was learning long division - not actually teasing though because it's true.

3. Sister and BIL - About the same height. Sister doesn't wear heels much due to health issues and is 9 months older. He wouldn't care if she did wear heels though because he's a strong, independent man. They're adorable.

4. Husband and me - He's about 5 inches taller (6 feet and around 5'7" respectively.) He's also around 7 months older. Our daughter may be a giant. 

So not too off the norms I guess. Personally, I think society should just stop putting an emphasis on height and age differences. If a couple has a healthy and loving relationship then that's all that counts.

[louisa05]

4 minutes ago, catlady said:

in my experience, height has never been a thing.  MR. CL and i are the same height, and until my knee issues happened over the last couple of years, i wore 3" heels regularly; no one cared that i looked taller than him.  several of our friends have the same situation, and no one cares.  

i'm also 2 years older than he is, but it's always been nothing more than a curiosity.  we're currently 47 and 45.  now going back 1 or 2 generations, age was more of a thing.  one of my aunts was 5 years older than her husband, and it was always kind of a secret.  she never wanted anyone outside the immediate family to know.  

As far as I can tell, 1 or 2 years or a few months gets a pass. You get into about 4 or 5+ years and it doesn't anymore. A cousin of mine has the about the same age gap between her and her husband and he is also the younger one. She also gets the "but he was still in high school when you finished college, doesn't that make you feel weird?" which is a normal one we get, too. (And, no, it doesn't because we didn't know each other then). Yet when the age gap is the more usual man is older, no one flinches. I know a couple who met when he was the leader of her junior high youth group as a college student. They didn't date until she was a junior in college, so nothing was inappropriate in that way--but no one bats an eye at that age difference and they knew each other when she was a young teen. 

 

[SamiKatz]

I worked with a woman whose mother was Filipino, and her father was Canadian, they had met when he was in the army and stationed in the military there.  My friend told us her mother's deepest, darkest secret, and made us promise not to tell anyone because it would be devastating to her mother if she knew other people where aware of it.  The secret was that she was ten years older than her husband.

It's funny how much cultural norms have an effect on people.

[nickelodeon]

I'm pretty sure that having a height difference between husband and wife is the object of some interesting idealization in the US, even if it's not actually the norm. Hollywood goes to a lot of trouble to create a height difference between onscreen couples, with actors like Tom Cruise or RDJ shooting in heels so that they can "properly" tower over their lady co-stars. That probably has an effect on our ideas of what the "ideal" het couple looks like. And you'd better believe that for both the Duggars and Hollywood, there is a reason they want women to appear (if not actually be) physically smaller and less powerful than the men around them.

[sawasdee]

My BFF is 10 years older than her husband, and no batted an eye. My sister's second husband was 21 years younger - and that did cause a bit of a stir - she made me tell Mum! They lasted 24 years though.

And look at President Macron of France - he's 39, she's in her fifties.

Who cares, if it works for you.

[louisa05]

2 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I worked with a woman whose mother was Filipino, and her father was Canadian, they had met when he was in the army and stationed in the military there.  My friend told us her mother's deepest, darkest secret, and made us promise not to tell anyone because it would be devastating to her mother if she knew other people where aware of it.  The secret was that she was ten years older than her husband.

It's funny how much cultural norms have an effect on people.

I tend not to tell people because I get stupid responses. "Cougar" being my least favorite (again, why do we have no demeaning names for men who only want much younger women?). Others include the high school/college thing or variations of it, "so when you were (pick an age), he was only (age)" for ten minutes or so. The "pants" thing. The "were you his teacher?" with a lot of winks (no, I absolutely was not--and there is no way I could have ever dated a former student as my mind is still blown that any of them could possibly be married with children as they are forever in my mind no older than 18--never mind that the first senior class I taught graduated in 1995). 

So, yeah, I prefer not to mention it to people if I don't have to. 

I read something written by a marriage therapist several years ago about age differences. Basically, it said that they are not a concern if the couple is at the same life stage and in the same generation. If they are not both of those things, that's when an age difference can be problematic for a relationship. My sister-in-law who is 15 years older than her stupid little boyfriend falls in that category. She is Gen X and he is a millennial. She is (sort of ) working, running a business and has been (sort of ) an independent adult for nearly 20 years, while he has yet to establish independence--still lives with parents, still relies on them for bill paying and essentially managing his life. He is still in that 20s exploring life, partying/clubbing, etc...stage and she is, well, in her early 40s. And it is problematic for them. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

49 minutes ago, breakfree said:

I'm right around 5'8" and it was always SUPER hard for me to find appropriate dresses and skirts to wear to work because they'd hang just a little too short, and those designed for 'tall' women were ridic too long, difficult to find, and also ridic more expensive, especially for something that still didn't fit right anyway.

 

YES! I'm 5'7 so around an inch shorter than you and I find it so hard to find dresses and skirts that are a decent length. It doesn't help that I have a bigish bum which hikes skirts and dresses up that little bit more at the back. It's such a pain looking for nice dresses for weddings and other occasions! And 'tall' dresses are always too long! It sucks! When it comes to jeans, I find it so hard to get reasonably priced jeans with the proper leg length! I've given up searching and just buy Topshop Joni jeans now as they do tons of leg lengths and they're stretchy enough to fit my bum without being too big on the waist.

 

So I agree - the grass isn't always greener. Tall people have problems finding clothes too!