Family Living on Purpose (FLOP) : Erika Shupe Pt 11

[Hane]

47 minutes ago, Emilycharlotte said:

I remember the Halloween kerfuffle but not the part where his clients made fun of Erica's blog. Where did you see that?

It was just conjecture on my part. Bob’s a small businessman with a web presence, and who no doubt needs to attract a customer base, so he posted some relatable content.  His wannabe super-submissive Christian wife has a blog with the exact opposite message. It wouldn’t be much of a leap to figure out that people might point this out to him, giving him the impetus to speak up to Erika and tell her he’s not really up with fundiedom. I must admit that it’s kind of fun to see a headship stand up and tell his wife that her ideas are bull—and she actually does what he asks her to.

Again, conjecture. It’s also possible, but FAR less likely in my opinion, that Erika decided to make these changes on her own.

 

[Anonymousguest]

Erika was had always been against Halloween, Bob posted some memes. I don't see that as a kerfuffle. No clients involved as far as I remember. Not even any comments on either of their FB page about the discrepancy. If it's even a discrepancy, I don't have to celebrate something to think a meme about it is funny. It certainly want anything to ditch an entire belief system over. 

[FJismyheadship]

I also think the CPS visit had something to do with these changes.

[Gobsmacked]

They had a CPS visit? I don't follow here very often these days. 

[CrossingRivers]

9 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

They had a CPS visit? I don't follow here very often these days. 

IIRC, there were Vaguebooking posts about it. If I’m not mistaken it was about the fire hazard of a girl’s room that they had. 

[bertnee]

I think the CPS visit was a few years ago.

[Anonymousguest]

I think there was one vague mention in the comments on the now defunct large families on purpose Facebook page. Erika didn't address it, so speculation about why (or even if) was all FJ could do. It was several years ago though. 

[mango_fandango]

Karen is interested in going to this:

Dunno if she actually is going or not. This would’ve been unthinkable 2/3 years ago. 

[elliha]

Karen seemed dead unhappy up until a couple months before we started noticing "the change". I think that she hinted/told her parents/Bob that she would leave and cut them off. I think that since Erika convinced Bob to cut out his parents this might have been something he didn't want to repeat with Karen. I think that Erika was the one that liked this change the least of everyone and was the least convinced of this change. I agree that I would like to know if they are still with the same church. The church seemed conservative but less so than the Shupe family at their height so I think it is possible they are still with the same church.

[waltraute]

6 hours ago, elliha said:

Karen seemed dead unhappy up until a couple months before we started noticing "the change". I think that she hinted/told her parents/Bob that she would leave and cut them off. I think that since Erika convinced Bob to cut out his parents this might have been something he didn't want to repeat with Karen.

 

I too think it started with the older girls and the fear that they would break off from the family completely. I think that is why we saw a change in the dress code and why Karen was allowed to get a job. Public school, though? No. I think something drastic happened for that huge shift to have occurred. 

[elliha]

8 hours ago, waltraute said:

I too think it started with the older girls and the fear that they would break off from the family completely. I think that is why we saw a change in the dress code and why Karen was allowed to get a job. Public school, though? No. I think something drastic happened for that huge shift to have occurred. 

It has slipped out that Brandon is on the spectrum and it might have been necessary to put him in public school for that reason but the rest of them? I was especially surprised that the youngest girls also got sent to public school. I could see Erika coming up with some shit about  boys going to public school but not the girls. The reason it surprised me is that I have always gotten the feeling that Erika enjoys teaching the younger children but perhaps not that much the older ones. 

My main theory is that Erika suffers from depression and isn't able to homeschool. If that is the case I am glad they realized that and didn't further jeopardize their children's future by going on. The older kids likely still suffered from bad homeschooling during all those baby years when they were not a priority and when homeschooling was Erika's hill to die on. Karen seems like she is intelligent and driven enough to perhaps be able to transcend it but Melanie sadly does not seem as strong (possibly depression too? I hope not). The next girl, Anne-Marie (?) I know almost nothing about illustrated by me not remembering her name for sure. The only thing I remembered was that she was still in the old modest swimsuit when Karen, Melanie and Erika had graduated to regular ones and the twins were in sun protective suits so she really looked the odd one out last summer in one of their beach pictures. She is very much a middle child since she was never really mentioned on the blog very much either.

[defraudingjezebel]

I just checked Karen's facebook randomly. She very recently changed her profile pic to a picture of her leaning her head against a guy's (I think? The picture is quite dark) shoulder. Its quite a romantic photo. 

I'm not shocked that Karen is becoming so quickly enmeshed in the secular world. I know she still holds on to some very conservative beliefs but I think those too will likely erode away. Her part of Washington is fairly rural but extremely progressive. I think she is probably around many people who challenge her previously-held notions about how the world works. It'll just take some time for it all to change. 

[mango_fandango]

Was it definitely Brandon who was mentioned as being on the spectrum? Whoever it is/was, hopefully they’re now getting help. Funnily enough people with ASD tend to LOVE routine, which is perfect when you consider Erika’s schedule.

[lilith]

22 hours ago, elliha said:

Karen seemed dead unhappy up until a couple months before we started noticing "the change". I think that she hinted/told her parents/Bob that she would leave and cut them off. I think that since Erika convinced Bob to cut out his parents this might have been something he didn't want to repeat with Karen. I think that Erika was the one that liked this change the least of everyone and was the least convinced of this change. I agree that I would like to know if they are still with the same church. The church seemed conservative but less so than the Shupe family at their height so I think it is possible they are still with the same church.

I would suspect that they have changed churches simply because Erika would HATE admitting that maybe she was wrong to be so legalistic and judgemental for so many years and having to explain why their standards and lifestyle suddenly changed so dramatically, especially in areas where she has been particularly rigid and judge in the past (schooling, modesty, independence for adult daughters). I think there’s a part of her that is utterly humiliated that her perfect formulas for a happy godly family had to be altered.

25 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Was it definitely Brandon who was mentioned as being on the spectrum? Whoever it is/was, hopefully they’re now getting help. Funnily enough people with ASD tend to LOVE routine, which is perfect when you consider Erika’s schedule.

Brandon’s the super tiny boy, right? I always got the sense he wasn’t quite what Erika expected him to be. He was rarely mentioned and seemed isolated from his brothers. 

[elliha]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Was it definitely Brandon who was mentioned as being on the spectrum? Whoever it is/was, hopefully they’re now getting help. Funnily enough people with ASD tend to LOVE routine, which is perfect when you consider Erika’s schedule.

Yes, but that does not exclude that other family members are not also on the spectrum or have other special needs.

Yes, the routine might be good but can you imagine eating the same food every day if that is not a type of food he enjoys or if he is stuck in an educational situation that does not work for him? If he is on the spectrum and has issues with food that could explain why he is/was so skinny. Children like this will not adapt to eating something that doesn't work for them, they will starve many times. It would also explain why he needed help with tasks like washing his hair or why potty training was a bit hard for him. Abusive and violent parenting was probably even more hurtful for him than another kid. I feel for him so much.

 

[usmcmom]

Maybe one factor in the shift to public school is the fact that Karen made clear she was leaving and Melanie would soon follow. Maybe Erika realized she could not manage the rest of her kids without the two sister moms. 

I realize this is probably just one of many reasons, but I can't help thinking that one seemingly small event caused a huge domino effect in the rest of their home life.  

[EmiGirl]

Maybe Karen was going to escape to her grandparents house. I know that's what I would be done!

[Shiny]

On 1/9/2018 at 12:55 AM, defraudingjezebel said:

I just checked Karen's facebook randomly. She very recently changed her profile pic to a picture of her leaning her head against a guy's (I think? The picture is quite dark) shoulder. Its quite a romantic photo. 

I'm not shocked that Karen is becoming so quickly enmeshed in the secular world. I know she still holds on to some very conservative beliefs but I think those too will likely erode away. Her part of Washington is fairly rural but extremely progressive. I think she is probably around many people who challenge her previously-held notions about how the world works. It'll just take some time for it all to change. 

Bolding mine. You think it's progressive? I would say the opposite. Skagit county and Mt. Vernon are super conservative, especially within the homeschool community. Funny how we are both from WA, but have totally different perspectives! 

[defraudingjezebel]

1 hour ago, Shiny said:

Bolding mine. You think it's progressive? I would say the opposite. Skagit county and Mt. Vernon are super conservative, especially within the homeschool community. Funny how we are both from WA, but have totally different perspectives! 

I should clarify that I was talking about the whole Bellingham/western Washington area as a whole. My experience is fairly limited but from what I have experienced and what I've heard from other folks who grew up there, its fairly progressive... at least relatively-speaking. I'm not originally from Washington state. I'm originally from Texas, and I find the more rural areas in western Washington to be radically less conservative than any part of rural Texas. I definitely can't speak to Mt. Vernon specifically, though. I've only visited the town once. But my perspective definitely comes from comparing to what I'm used to seeing in rural Texas and Louisiana. 

[older than allosaurs]

10 hours ago, defraudingjezebel said:

I should clarify that I was talking about the whole Bellingham/western Washington area as a whole. My experience is fairly limited but from what I have experienced and what I've heard from other folks who grew up there, its fairly progressive... at least relatively-speaking. I'm not originally from Washington state. I'm originally from Texas, and I find the more rural areas in western Washington to be radically less conservative than any part of rural Texas. I definitely can't speak to Mt. Vernon specifically, though. I've only visited the town once. But my perspective definitely comes from comparing to what I'm used to seeing in rural Texas and Louisiana. 

I've spent most of my life in rural western Washington and live about 15 miles from the Shupes. Mt. Vernon, and Skagit County in general, is a grab bag of people and values: loggers, many of them originally from the Carolinas and known to all as Tarheels; farmers and fishers; lots of old hippies and young organic growers; a large and growing Hispanic population; three Native American tribal governments; academics and techies. There's a big Naval Air Station across the bridge in Island County, and a lot of military folk retire out here.

Mount Vernon was both the (successful) center of opposition to bringing nuclear power to the Skagit and the place that gave Glenn Beck the key to the city. Go figure. The largest poetry festival on the west coast is held every other year in nearby La Conner and draws lots of locals. (The local schools get poets in residence for a week each time.) Probably equal numbers head to the Deming Logging Show and the drag racing tracks.

On a tangential note: I learned at our 50-year reunion that one of my high school classmates was Glenn Beck's middle school drama teacher. He said Glenn was a pain in the ass and he was relieved when he moved away, but also that his family life was a mess so his behavior was understandable.

 

 

[JillyO]

Um... Where did you guys see confirmation that Brandon is on the spectrum? I know that there had been speculation before, but I don't remember anything being confirmed (and I follow this thread rather closely). Can someone (@elliha?) please point me to where this was discovered/where it was first discussed on FJ?

[mango_fandango]

I pointed out a long time ago on here that Erika went to Western Washington University and someone said that it was pretty liberal. Skagit County is mainly Democrat and has 3 districts, two Democrat and 1 Republican. Mount Vernon comes under District 2 which is Democrat (yes I do have a Skagit County wiki page up ). Washington as a whole is also Democrat.

[Anonymousguest]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

Um... Where did you guys see confirmation that Brandon is on the spectrum? I know that there had been speculation before, but I don't remember anything being confirmed (and I follow this thread rather closely). Can someone (@elliha?) please point me to where this was discovered/where it was first discussed on FJ?

I'm with you. I don't think there is confirmation, only speculation based Erika posting things on FB about kids on the spectrum. I'm not sure why he was picked as the one. There was a card or something posted once where he had bad penmanship and spelling. And he's small for his age. Not really confirmation imo.

[elliha]

7 hours ago, JillyO said:

Um... Where did you guys see confirmation that Brandon is on the spectrum? I know that there had been speculation before, but I don't remember anything being confirmed (and I follow this thread rather closely). Can someone (@elliha?) please point me to where this was discovered/where it was first discussed on FJ?

In the now closed group Bob or Erika posted a post that explicitly said so. I think it discussed being helped by these little gadgets that have buttons and switches and stuff that you can touch and fipple with if you have problems with your focus. I did not report it at the time since I did not want to risk exclusion from the group but yes they have said that he has AS.

[Anonymousguest]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

In the now closed group Bob or Erika posted a post that explicitly said so. I think it discussed being helped by these little gadgets that have buttons and switches and stuff that you can touch and fipple with if you have problems with your focus. I did not report it at the time since I did not want to risk exclusion from the group but yes they have said that he has AS.

I just searched for that post, (yay insomnia) in the responses Erika says all her children love them, including her autistic one and even her teenage son. So the wording of it makes it sound specifically that her teenage son is not the autistic one.