Maxwell 7: Still boring

[FloraKitty35]

23 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I'm just really glad they didn't caption the picture of Steve with the baby "Dad receives BJ".

Now I have this visual of Steve orgasmically moaning, "do you know where you are going when you die".   

[Dandruff]

21 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I was sure Melanie enjoyed motherhood until someone shared the post that contained her schedule for baby Abigail. Sorry; I can't remember who posted it but I will do some searching.  Teri actually wrote that Melanie cuddled the baby for ten minutes after her bottle. I was shocked and saddened that someone who had experienced such loss actually set a time limit on cuddling her new baby. This was when Abigail was her only child too. I can't imagine how strict the scheduling is now that number five has arrived. 

I'm picturing the kids lined up for scheduled cuddles while somebody holds a stopwatch...

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Now I have this visual of Steve orgasmically moaning, "do you know where you are going when you die".   

DID YOU HAVE TO *spew*

[SPHASH]

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

So the grandkids have a nickname, except Joshua, who is ALWAYS Joshua and never Josh. Calia doesn't either, but then you can't shorten Calia much (except maybe Cal, and that'd probably be too cool a nickname for Maxhell) and she doesn't appear on the blog as much as her cousins.

Because Joshua is the anointed one.  Eventually his name will be The Great Communicator, Prince of Peace, Son of God, His Holiness, or just plain Jesus.

[purjolok84]

10 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

So all the grandkids have a nickname, except Joshua, who is ALWAYS Joshua and never Josh. Calia doesn't either, but then you can't shorten Calia much (except maybe Cal, and that'd probably be too cool a nickname for Maxhell) and she doesn't appear on the blog as much as her cousins.

If I had a child called Calia, I might go for Cally. Or maybe Calla Lily, then just Lily, because why not? Just for fun. It's a lovely name.

 

As for Joshua, I've never been enamoured of the name since I found out it's basically the Hebrew translation of Jesus. I look at the kid and I could see calling him Joshy, Jay, Josh, it would suit him so much better ... Calling him by his full name is so formal and so Maxwell it's not funny.

[onekidanddone]

21 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Now I have this visual of Steve orgasmically moaning, "do you know where you are going when you die".   

Thank you that image I will never be able to get out of my head

[Granwych]

23 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Teri actually wrote that Melanie cuddled the baby for ten minutes after her bottle. I was shocked and saddened that someone who had experienced such loss actually set a time limit on cuddling her new baby. This was when Abigail was her only child too. I can't imagine how strict the scheduling is now that number five has arrived. 

I really don't believe that Melanie set a time of ten minutes to cuddle Abigail.  I'm sure that she held that baby for as long as she damn well wanted to. 

On the other hand, I can totally see Christopher and NR Anna scheduling an hour for choosing a baby name.  Christopher seems to be the most self-righteous, anal one of the brothers.  Lucky that NR Anna seems to be in her element.

[FloraDoraDolly]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

I really don't believe that Melanie set a time of ten minutes to cuddle Abigail.  I'm sure that she held that baby for as long as she damn well wanted to.

I wouldn't put it past Steve and Teri to make Abigail's schedule sound more rigid than it actually was in order to sell more books and chore packs.  

[Foudeb]

Melanie walks in to her in-laws, holding new baby.

Steve: "Good thing that one survived. We finally have a new generation to practise the one true way on."

Melanie, holding tight onto her baby, "Er..."

Teri: "The first step is the almighty schedule. Babies need schedules. Do you want me to give you my old schedule templates from when I had depression and had to write ten-step plans to make breakfast, when I bothered getting out of my room that is?"

Melanie: "Oh, thank you, but no, we're good, we, er, we already have a schedule."

Steve: "Tell me more. What's in the schedule."

Melanie: "Well, er, we get up. Have food. Have a nap. Change diaper." (thinks furiously - that only brings us to 11 am, what on earth else do we do all day... ) "Oh and then there's the cuddle, yes, we cuddle. And that brings us to lunchtime. Then we eat, and we change the diaper, and then we nap... then Nathan comes home..."

Steve: "Right on time for Bible time then."

Melanie: "Yep. That's it. Four hours of Bible time and then sweet fellowship. All nicely scheduled. You see, we're organised. Fine-tuned machine. No need for help at this time, thank you, you're so kind."

[Elegant Mess]

Hey, folks, guess what?  I recently conducted two interviews with male job candidates over long lunches - just the candidate and me were present on both occasions!  (I'm female)

Did any flirting happen?  NOPE!

Did we exchange gazes over appetizers?  NOPE!

Did anything of a sinful nature get discussed, or any innuendo get exchanged?  NOPE!

Did any cleavage or leg get flashed?  NOPE!

So, what did happen over both lunches?  Eating and talking about work-related matters.  That's it.  No muss, no fuss.   In both cases, the candidate was completely at-ease throughout the whole encounter.

I'll also report that both interviews went very well, so we're in a position where we have a good problem to have - multiple highly-qualified candidates to choose from!

See, Steve?  Working with women who are in a position of authority is possible!

[mango_fandango]

9 minutes ago, Elegant Mess said:

Hey, folks, guess what?  I recently conducted two interviews with male job candidates over long lunches - just the candidate and me were present on both occasions!  (I'm female)

Did any flirting happen?  NOPE!

Did we exchange gazes over appetizers?  NOPE!

Did anything of a sinful nature get discussed, or any innuendo get exchanged?  NOPE!

Did any cleavage or leg get flashed?  NOPE!

So, what did happen over both lunches?  Eating and talking about work-related matters.  That's it.  No muss, no fuss.   In both cases, the candidate was completely at-ease throughout the whole encounter.

I'll also report that both interviews went very well, so we're in a position where we have a good problem to have - multiple highly-qualified candidates to choose from!

See, Steve?  Working with women who are in a position of authority is possible!

Of course it's possible. Just not for Stevie. Because he's batshit. With a mahoosive sense of paranoia. 

 

[Mela99]

On 3/5/2017 at 9:26 PM, nastyhobbitses said:

I'm just really glad they didn't caption the picture of Steve with the baby "Dad receives BJ".

It's a slow day at work, and I just snorted carbonated flavored water all over my laptop. Oh god it hurts... but it smells like tangerines... 

[Trynn]

Melanie walks in to her in-laws, holding new baby.
Steve: "Good thing that one survived. We finally have a new generation to practise the one true way on."
Melanie, holding tight onto her baby, "Er..."
Teri: "The first step is the almighty schedule. Babies need schedules. Do you want me to give you my old schedule templates from when I had depression and had to write ten-step plans to make breakfast, when I bothered getting out of my room that is?"
Melanie: "Oh, thank you, but no, we're good, we, er, we already have a schedule."
Steve: "Tell me more. What's in the schedule."
Melanie: "Well, er, we get up. Have food. Have a nap. Change diaper." (thinks furiously - that only brings us to 11 am, what on earth else do we do all day... ) "Oh and then there's the cuddle, yes, we cuddle. And that brings us to lunchtime. Then we eat, and we change the diaper, and then we nap... then Nathan comes home..."
Steve: "Right on time for Bible time then."
Melanie: "Yep. That's it. Four hours of Bible time and then sweet fellowship. All nicely scheduled. You see, we're organised. Fine-tuned machine. No need for help at this time, thank you, you're so kind."

This is what I suspect was actually the case. I think maybe she wrote "cuddle for 10 minutes" when it may only SEEM like 10 minutes.

In the other hand, we are talking about he Maxhellions.

[spookytwoshoes]

New blog post up about polishing cabinets. Teri laments that she doesn't always have the time to do YEARLY cabinet polishing due to her having to nurse her secret Pepsi addiction (speculation-what else could she possibly have to do?). Thankfully, this year Mary and Anna "rearranged their schedules temporarily" so that they could help Teri with this incredibly grueling chore. 

The had to rearrange their schedules to help?

They don't go to school. They don't have jobs. They don't have friends. They don't have families of their own. They don't even volunteer. What the fu*k could they possibly be so busy with that they had to "rearrange their schedules temporarily" to help polish fu*king cabinets.?

This fu*king family, man. 

 

[SPHASH]

Griselda Teri also had to get a swipe in about enjoying entertainment.  Screw you bitch.

[SPHASH]

Speaking of Teri in her latest Moms Corner she wrote about how Abby went before the Leavenworth City Council and asked them to consider allowing her to keep 15 chickens.  The city was considering an ordinance with the max being 10.  The city agreed to 15.  I found an article online about it but it only mentioned Crazy Eyed Nate  talking. 

http://www.leavenworthtimes.com/news/20170125/commission-approves-limit-on-domestic-fowl/

[Marian the Librarian]

"There were a couple of years when I expressed my inability to find cabinet-polishing time to Steve."

Hell's bells, Teri - THIS is what you choose to post on International Women's Day?? 

I can't even...

 

[terranova]

My soul has officially left my body after reading that post.

[Jingerale]

Obligatory "still waiting for the pizza-cutter-salad trick".

[purjolok84]

5 hours ago, Marian the Librarian said:

"There were a couple of years when I expressed my inability to find cabinet-polishing time to Steve."

Hell's bells, Teri - THIS is what you choose to post on International Women's Day?? 

I can't even...

 

With proof pictures of each person involved in the cabinet-polishing-grimacing process!

As long as this doesn't take away from your very important ceiling fan polishing time, Teri! 

[LurkerOverThePond]

Just when you think the Maxwells simply _cannot_ get any lower... FOR FUCK'S SAKE TERI!!!!! 

[Palimpsest]

These were Teri's bullet points from Steve before she wrote that latest drivel.

1. Ad for Guardsman polish.  Make sure you add the link 'cos we get money if they click.
2. Polishing kitchen cabinets = we are better than those sluggards.
3. I am the bestest husband in the world.  (I helped fragile you polish.)
4. Almighty Schedule ad.  (Half hour increments.)
5. Fellowship (because we polish cabinets together.)
6. We are so blessed to have daughters so much better than yours.
7. Another Almighty Schedule ad. (A and M have them too.)
8. Entertainment = bad.  Fun = verboten.  
9. Only your souls can be fat.

“The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing:  but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.” Proverbs 13:4

I'm sure Anna and Mary "rearranging their schedules" only meant doing their daily Personal Bible Time half an hour later than usual.  

They don't have that many cabinets or they never wipe them off as part of usual kitchen cleaning.  Unless they are also scrubbing off several months worth of filth one person ought to be able to polish them all in an hour - tops.  Ok, 80 minutes to allow for photo ops.

[HermioneSparrow]

Geesh, at least the Duggars procrastinate a bit... these people are soul crushers to the max... WORST FUNDIE FAMILY EVER!! 

Steve and Teri should just get sunscreen to be buried with because those two are going to hell for sure (if there's such a thing though).

[Eternalbluepearl]

Teri mentioned that they haven't quite managed a once-per-year polishing. How in the world could the Maxwells not manage a once-per-year chore? All they do is chores, no one works outside of the home and there are a lot of them. They somehow are convinced they are busy. I'm not buying it.

[picklepizzas]

I wonder why Sarah didn't rearrange her schedule, too. I hope she's not making the mistake of pursuing entertainment!