Jinger and Jeremy- God Defend New Zealand (Aotearoa)

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

I would hope Jeremy would pull Jinger aside and really talk to her like a person and remind her how she was pretty much buried under kids due to the volume. A LARGE part of why I have decided to go Childfree is due to the fact that I am one of six and it was SO stressful and honestly I don't enjoy watching kids. 

Then again, I think Jessa was more like my attitude and she is on number 2 when she can barely handle baby sitting Izzy and Spurge together without Hannie.

[Carm_88]

I don't know. I hope that Jeremy is being sneaky in private but somehow I really doubt it. Though honeymoon babies are common for many people, so they may have one and then have a verrrry long time before the next? Please! 

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

20 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I don't know. I hope that Jeremy is being sneaky in private but somehow I really doubt it. Though honeymoon babies are common for many people, so they may have one and then have a verrrry long time before the next? Please! 

Maybe Jinger lucked out and the many years Jeremy was a soccer star got enough blunt kicks to the twins that he is more infertile. 

[Iamtheway]

2 hours ago, sansan said:

Maybe, just maybe, he could say that he never imagined how heavenly it was to have alone time with her, privately and out socially and he wishes that along with him, she would like a longer period of that type of time. What woman would not like to hear that and be a little proud of it?  I, on the other hand, am a little more aware of manipulative behavior and might call BS, but I consider myself a little more street savvy than Jinger.

I'm pretty sure my 2-year old is more street savvy then Jinger. 

[QuiverDance]

6 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

They believe in leaving babies up to God. Don't they realize God gave people the knowledge to create different types of birth control?

Right!  If God is all powerful and wants the baby born, the BC won't work anyway, so "god's will" is no excuse for banning artificial birth control.  I'm a Catholic, and I am able to rationalize things I don't like. 

[HarryPotterFan]

3 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

It must be hard to make important decisions before marriage when there is always a chaperone to report back. Birth control isn't something they could even discuss. They have to go along with "as many as God gives us." Who knows what they really think?

Exactly!! How can anyone express what they really want if they have to toe the party line on the presence of a chaperone who will report back/tattle if you dare talk about something like NFP.

[Carm_88]

3 minutes ago, QuiverDance said:

Right!  If God is all powerful and wants the baby born, the BC won't work anyway, so "god's will" is no excuse for banning artificial birth control.  I'm a Catholic, and I am able to rationalize things I don't like. 

Exactly! As a birth control baby I can say that God's will or human error will definitely make things happen.  

[Fun Undies]

My Mom personally knows five women who got pregnant on the pill.  My doctor told me not to bother with a diaphragm unless I wouldn't mind getting pregnant.  My SIL got pregnant 3 months PP, while breastfeeding her newborn, and hubs wearing a condom.  I got my second son 8 months PP as a "surprise", too (though he's an awesome kid, so it's not like it was a bad surprise ;] ).

Anyways, I'll sound like a fundie, but if it'll happen, it.will.happen.  No matter what you do to prevent it.  Because hey, if you want to hear God laugh, you tell him your plans ;]

[Bad Wolf]

But the evil pill causes miscarriages according to their Christian doctor. 

[feministxtian]

two of my 3 are BC babies...Man plans, God laughs. 

[apandaaries]

My Mom personally knows five women who got pregnant on the pill.  My doctor told me not to bother with a diaphragm unless I wouldn't mind getting pregnant.  My SIL got pregnant 3 months PP, while breastfeeding her newborn, and hubs wearing a condom.  I got my second son 8 months PP as a "surprise", too (though he's an awesome kid, so it's not like it was a bad surprise ;] ).

Surprises can always happen, but user error is still responsible for a lot of unplanned pregnancies. 5 women getting pregnant on the pill is a lot (unless your mom knows thousands of women), but people will also forget to take them, take them at the wrong time, etc., and get a surprise. I know that breastfeeding is rumored to suppress ovulation, but it certainly didn't do so for me; my periods returned very quickly after giving birth. Condoms have their own issues, especially guys getting the wrong size. There do seem to be especially fertile women, but birth control with fewer human responsibilities (like an IUD or the shot) seem to be FAR superior to leaving it up to people to remember on a daily or as-needed basis. Not trying to be mean, just pointing out that human error, not bc failure, can be the cause of many of these surprises. Also, it really only takes one time to conceive, so forgetting just once can lead to a whole new surprise blessing, and I do think people are reluctant to admit that they may have been less than dutiful in their birth control usage.

[twinmama]

5 hours ago, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

Maybe Jinger lucked out and the many years Jeremy was a soccer star got enough blunt kicks to the twins that he is more infertile. 

You joke, but my husband's brother nailed him in the nuts with a battery when they were teenagers (god only knows why, but it was an accident apparently) and we did deal with some male infertility. I have no idea if they are connected, but after our IVF cycle we told my brother in law (jokingly) that he owes us $12,000.

2 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

My Mom personally knows five women who got pregnant on the pill.  My doctor told me not to bother with a diaphragm unless I wouldn't mind getting pregnant.  My SIL got pregnant 3 months PP, while breastfeeding her newborn, and hubs wearing a condom.  I got my second son 8 months PP as a "surprise", too (though he's an awesome kid, so it's not like it was a bad surprise ;] ).

Anyways, I'll sound like a fundie, but if it'll happen, it.will.happen.  No matter what you do to prevent it.  Because hey, if you want to hear God laugh, you tell him your plans ;]

As someone who dealt with infertility in both myself and my husband, who had to try really hard to get pregnant and read those fertility books that make it sound like you have 24 hours a month where you can get pregnant... these stories crack me up! I always feel like it's a miracle anyone ever gets pregnant naturally, nevermind accidentally!!!

52 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

Surprises can always happen, but user error is still responsible for a lot of unplanned pregnancies. 5 women getting pregnant on the pill is a lot (unless your mom knows thousands of women), but people will also forget to take them, take them at the wrong time, etc., and get a surprise.

I always suspect human error contributing to most BC babies. I was on the pill for 5 years and constantly forgot to take it. I'd just double up or use a condom or whatever but it's super easy to forget. Hell I've been brushing my teeth before bed for 30+ years and still find myself forgetting frequently! I'm just glad that my pill forgetting didn't do anything for us, because surprise, we were infertile anyway!

[HarryPotterFan]

 

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

two of my 3 are BC babies...Man plans, God laughs. 

All of these stories remind me of health class, where they told us you'll get pregnant even if you use birth control so don't have sex because SEX MAKES BABIES AND YOU WILL MAKE A BABY AND RUIN YOUR LIFE 

[BlessaYourHeart]

33 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

 

All of these stories remind me of health class, where they told us you'll get pregnant even if you use birth control so don't have sex because SEX MAKES BABIES AND YOU WILL MAKE A BABY AND RUIN YOUR LIFE 

This reminded me of Mean Girls. 

'Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die!!!' 

[HarryPotterFan]

16 minutes ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

This reminded me of Mean Girls. 

'Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die!!!' 

That's essentially what my health class was like, except with out the, "Everybody take some rubbers" bit. We actually had to watch a documentary about people dying of AIDS to scare us out of sex.

[Fun Undies]

2 hours ago, amandaaries said:

Surprises can always happen, but user error is still responsible for a lot of unplanned pregnancies. 5 women getting pregnant on the pill is a lot (unless your mom knows thousands of women), but people will also forget to take them, take them at the wrong time, etc., and get a surprise. I know that breastfeeding is rumored to suppress ovulation, but it certainly didn't do so for me; my periods returned very quickly after giving birth. Condoms have their own issues, especially guys getting the wrong size. There do seem to be especially fertile women, but birth control with fewer human responsibilities (like an IUD or the shot) seem to be FAR superior to leaving it up to people to remember on a daily or as-needed basis. Not trying to be mean, just pointing out that human error, not bc failure, can be the cause of many of these surprises. Also, it really only takes one time to conceive, so forgetting just once can lead to a whole new surprise blessing, and I do think people are reluctant to admit that they may have been less than dutiful in their birth control usage.

It didn't take any part of your reply as being mean at all ~ no worries :]
My surprise baby was because my hubby and I were using condoms sometimes, and sometimes not - so I just started NFPing the month before I got pregnant.  I was the idiot who filled out my own chart wrong (skipped a few temps, or would use an app, which flipped the screen on rotation - so I mixed my calendar dates, with my cycle days, during foreplay, and misread my own stupid chart . . . and whoops, surprise baby).

My Mom's in her fifties, so her friends getting pregnant was a good twenty-thirty years ago.  So who knows, maybe the pill was a bit different back then =p  And thanks to my SIL getting pregnant while BFing, I smirked at the idea for myself.  The nurse at the hospital after number 2 took to BFing (first one didn't), strongly urged me not to use it as BC, and suggested it usually only worked in women who also have a lot of deficiencies, like in third world countries - because the baby is sucking out the only good stuff the Mom has, or something like that, so Mother Nature figures the deficient body can't carry a fullterm baby (who knows?  But I can see that making sense).

Now my husband got a vasectomy in July (but hasn't done the follow up!!  Ugh!), so if we get pregnant now, it really will have been God's will lol.

2 hours ago, twinmama said:

You joke, but my husband's brother nailed him in the nuts with a battery when they were teenagers (god only knows why, but it was an accident apparently) and we did deal with some male infertility. I have no idea if they are connected, but after our IVF cycle we told my brother in law (jokingly) that he owes us $12,000.

As someone who dealt with infertility in both myself and my husband, who had to try really hard to get pregnant and read those fertility books that make it sound like you have 24 hours a month where you can get pregnant... these stories crack me up! I always feel like it's a miracle anyone ever gets pregnant naturally, nevermind accidentally!!!

I always suspect human error contributing to most BC babies. I was on the pill for 5 years and constantly forgot to take it. I'd just double up or use a condom or whatever but it's super easy to forget. Hell I've been brushing my teeth before bed for 30+ years and still find myself forgetting frequently! I'm just glad that my pill forgetting didn't do anything for us, because surprise, we were infertile anyway!

Both my parents dealt with infertility - my Dad had low sperm count AND low mobility.  And my mother had had stage three cervical cancer when she was 19, and even had a bit of it removed.  So literally the first time we got pregnant (ended in a miscarriage), but it had literally only happened on our 2nd try, and after she hugged, she slapped my arm, and yelled, "That is so unfair!  Do you realize what we had to go through to get you?!"  She meant it jokingly, but ugh, I hate the idea of any women struggling with infertility, so I'm very sorry that happened for you two!

[3arrowsandnotcounting]

18 hours ago, feministxtian said:

two of my 3 are BC babies...Man plans, God laughs. 

 

That's what I said after I found out I was pregnant with arrow #3 lol. Was on the pill, #2 was about to start full time school and was scheduled for a hysterectomy. Sometimes things just happen and are meant to be. I'm so glad #3 came along, she is such a beautiful baby.

 

[Karma]

@Fun Undies if I were you I'd be telling your husband that there's no sweet fellowship until he gets his swimmers tested.  That's what I did because I knew someone who got pregnant with twins post vasectomy, and we absolutely didn't want another child.  They had assumed enough time had passed since the vasectomy and surely it would be fine to have unprotected sex.  Nope, it wasn't,.

 

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

I'm a suprise baby too, but then the other way around:
My mother had great difficulty getting pregnant. It took 5 years for her to get pregnant with my sister. After my parents had my sister, they wanted a second child. Years went by and my mother reached her early forties. When her period stayed away, she went to her doctor to see if she had gone into menopause. The doctor however had better news: she was pregnant! So there you have it: surprise baby!

[Scribber]

My parents weren't going to have children. I was a pill baby, so my dad got snipped. 7 years later? Surprise! My sister was born. (My own daughter is also a birth control baby.)


As for the Vuolos? I had a fundie-light pastor once who had no children. They used the story that the wife was a pastors kid who had a huge family and poor upbringing and when they went into ministry they promised to make the church their children. When surrounded by families with 8+ kids? It was definitely strange, but it worked. I have secret hopes of the Vuolos doing that.

[Jana814]

29 minutes ago, Scribber said:

As for the Vuolos? I had a fundie-light pastor once who had no children. They used the story that the wife was a pastors kid who had a huge family and poor upbringing and when they went into ministry they promised to make the church their children. When surrounded by families with 8+ kids? It was definitely strange, but it worked. I have secret hopes of the Vuolos doing that.

That's nuts. Never heard of a Fundie- lite pastor with no children. 

[JesSky03]

21 hours ago, SuchABlessing said:

Speaking as someone who has dealt with infertility issues and having been married two years, I can vouch for Jinger that there is nothing more annoying or intrusive as to people asking when you're going to have a baby. It's like as soon as you're married, your sex life becomes everyone's business. And, if you're like me, it's heartbreaking. 

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. We got lucky as we married at age 20 so most people were hoping we would wait to have kids. Plus I was in college yet so it was easy to say we were waiting until after graduation and people thought we were being smart. Now we are at the age and time in our life that people expect kids (we've been trying for over a year now) so those comments have started. When we bought an SUV a few months ago we got several " Is there something you're not telling me?" type of questions. We wanted a bigger car so we got a bigger car- end of story. Didn't know I needed to put out a PSA that I am NOT pregnant with this vehicle purchase. People are the worst.  

*PS if you are still TTC and want some support, there is a TTC board on FJ (after you hit 75 posts that is)

14 hours ago, twinmama said:

You joke, but my husband's brother nailed him in the nuts with a battery when they were teenagers (god only knows why, but it was an accident apparently) and we did deal with some male infertility. I have no idea if they are connected, but after our IVF cycle we told my brother in law (jokingly) that he owes us $12,000.

As someone who dealt with infertility in both myself and my husband, who had to try really hard to get pregnant and read those fertility books that make it sound like you have 24 hours a month where you can get pregnant... these stories crack me up! I always feel like it's a miracle anyone ever gets pregnant naturally, nevermind accidentally!!!

I always suspect human error contributing to most BC babies. I was on the pill for 5 years and constantly forgot to take it. I'd just double up or use a condom or whatever but it's super easy to forget. Hell I've been brushing my teeth before bed for 30+ years and still find myself forgetting frequently! I'm just glad that my pill forgetting didn't do anything for us, because surprise, we were infertile anyway!

Ha yeah, I remember times during the years of us just using condoms or the pill and having some months where my PMS just went all wonky on me and I was panicked thinking I was pregnant. I'm not sure if we are quite at the infertile diagnosis yet but who knew it would be this hard after all those years of being so careful. Now I envy people who have those oops babies. 

[Incognito22]

2 hours ago, BemusedByFundamentalism said:

I'm a suprise baby too, but then the other way around:
My mother had great difficulty getting pregnant. It took 5 years for her to get pregnant with my sister. After my parents had my sister, they wanted a second child. Years went by and my mother reached her early forties. When her period stayed away, she went to her doctor to see if she had gone into menopause. The doctor however had better news: she was pregnant! So there you have it: surprise baby!

If this question is too personal please ignore and my apologies.  As a later in life baby did you ever feel cheated because your parents were older or like your life was different than your friends? I only ask because I've spent the last few decades in education settings and now that I'm finally ready financially, mentally, and emotionally I'm 37.  I've traveled and done everything I wanted to do.  Now, that's pretty much all that's missing in my life.  I just wonder if it's selfish this late in the game.   I thought someone who had older parents might be a good resource.

[Scribber]

That's nuts. Never heard of a Fundie- lite pastor with no children. 

I always assumed it was infertility and they just had to have some story as to why God never "blessed" them.

(They had a crazy successful church - about 3,000 people! Most were fundie/fundie-lite, although there was a fair amount that was just there for the "good music" [emoji38] He and his wife were the no-tv, only read the Bible and "approved" Christian books, FRC loving type... and the "inner circle" was much the same way.)

[twinmama]

12 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

So literally the first time we got pregnant (ended in a miscarriage), but it had literally only happened on our 2nd try, and after she hugged, she slapped my arm, and yelled, "That is so unfair!  Do you realize what we had to go through to get you?!" 

That's so cute!! My best friend got pregnant either on her honeymoon or in that first month of marriage, and this was after we'd been trying for 8 months and right before we started our first IVF cycle. I was so happy for her but I was also devastatingly jealous. Thankfully I got pregnant on my IVF cycle then, so I was just 20 weeks behind her. But it is nuts how easy it can be for some.