BOOK REVIEW: "The Power of a Transformed Wife"

[feministxtian]

I asked my husband about the whole "submissive wife" thing...his response..."have you lost your damn mind"

[alba]

I asked Mr Alba and he said if I started submitting he would be confused and wonder what had happened to me.

He'd probably start thinking I was an alien replacement or something.

[Imrlgoddess]

I have to admit, I have to take major breaks between her blog and facebook page.  I can read bits and pieces for snark material and to keep up with the convo here...but if I read  too much too often it does get to me.  I was taught very similar things to what she teaches and even being out of that life for over 20 years, it's still hard to shake the creepy little thoughts that sneak in.  

The irony is, my mom worked a 40+ hour week at our school after my dad had his second near fatal heart attack.  Yet she still came home and cleaned, ironed, cooked...all the domestic chores while he sat.  So I got this weird dichotomy, an intelligent working woman is a precious thing, yet she still needs to do whatever her husband tells her to do.  I've seen submissive wives...Lori is not one of them.  

 

ETA:  my husband also said he had no desire for a "submissive" wife...he said he didn't want a doormat :-D

[Sobeknofret]

See, I don't think that *Lori* transformed. Ken and her family did when they realized that she'd make their lives a living hell if they didn't cave to her whiny demands and passive aggressive bs. She has a terminal case of what my husbeast and I jokingly call "Early Christian Martyr Syndrome." No one has ever suffered as much as she has, no one knows or cares what *she* goes through, sacrificing herself for their comfort, she's so downtrodden with her Mercedes and expensive furniture, and woe is her. Everyone goes through it sometimes, but Lori has a terminal case, in that she never, ever stops feeling sorry for herself. She needs a good hard slap, but she'd probably enjoy that.

[foreign fundie]

I know men who are positively scared of their 'submissive' wives. I am scared of them too. They are agressively dominant in a submissive way. And they would think I am not submissive enough since I work and make decisions with my husband and often initiate stuff. But I do not manipulate my husband, ignore him when angry, feel victimised by my lot in life, or feel a need to show off my submission and demand admiration for it. We just like each other, get along well and trust each other's judgement. 

Lori's writings are like a miracle diet. Follow the instructions for a while and then get what you always dreamed of. But men cannot be manipulated to become what you think they should be. Much less can you manipulate him to become a godly leader of the home. 

But Lori wants power. The power of a transformed wife. The whole point of submission is that you give up power. Respecting your husband, being his support, comforter, friend, lover, partner, companion, not because you want to change him, but because he is worth it. And so are you. 

[polecat]

2 hours ago, foreign fundie said:

Respecting your husband, being his support, comforter, friend, lover, partner, companion, not because you want to change him, but because he is worth it. And so are you.

 

This -- so much this. 

[freealljs]

I checked on amazon for reviews of her book and don't see any. 

[TeddyBonkers]

8 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I checked on amazon for reviews of her book and don't see any. 

Me neither! Does Amazon delete reviews?

[SweetLaurel]

I'm heading over to my author FB page to ask more experienced authors! I've never seen that before!   wow!  

[feministxtian]

Here's a link to the reviews

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Transformed-Wife-Lori-Alexander/dp/099816870X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1476571290&sr=1-1&keywords=lori+alexander

[SweetLaurel]

How did you get there?  I just hit Amazon and it said no reviews.   Was it just a glitch?  

Okay - a couple author friends said that you can no longer do ARC reviews - you can't say 'I got this book free for a fair review'  I can't imagine all the 'I haven't read this but damn it should be good' reviews.    

[Hisey]

I just searched "The Transformed Wife" on Amazon. Lori's book came up first. Just beneath it--as the #2 on the search-- is the book "Paradise Transformed: White Wives of the Black Orchid".  Here's what that book is about:

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Club Indulgence is a remote tropical island stocked with white wives well paid to spend a year at the sexual whim of any black man there. What is a sexual paradise at first turns into a nightmare when Owanda’s ruler is overthrown and the new resort manager has his own ideas of what a sexual paradise should offer.

There's a picture of an underwear-clad lady holding a piece of leather on the cover. Just below the advice of the godliest of ladies!

[snowgirl]

On October 6, 2016 at 2:23 PM, usmcmom said:

In skimming the book, it does appear that many sections begin with "from my blog...." which tells us how she was able to "write a book" so quickly. 

Now I am off to throw away my birth control, shine my husband's shoes and set my love timer for ten minutes. Heh. 

ok, I have to ask

what is a "love timer?" 

[Granwych]

The "love timer" mentioned in the previous post is a joke on Lori's claim that sex just needs to be "10 minutes and some coconut lube."   Guess she can use the lube in a pina colada too, huh?

[foreign fundie]

1 hour ago, Granwych said:

The "love timer" mentioned in the previous post is a joke on Lori's claim that sex just needs to be "10 minutes and some coconut lube."  

Sounds like a blast. Lucky Ken. 

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, Granwych said:

The "love timer" mentioned in the previous post is a joke on Lori's claim that sex just needs to be "10 minutes and some coconut lube."   Guess she can use the lube in a pina colada too, huh?

And now you just put the "Escape" sing in my head.  Dang you...

[Hisey]

Last night I posted Lori's response to an FJ's comment about her book. I must've forgotten to hit submit, so here it is again.

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Lori Alexander says:

Anonymous, I can't try and chase down all the mischaracterizations of what I teach when the social media trolls attack me. I can't understand why Amazon allows those like you who have a stated antagonistic agenda, and have never read my book, to post a review about my book. But as you show up first here in your attempt to malign me, let me take on some of your accusations to show you are nothing but a dogged troll, which you admit: "I initially started reading Always Learning because I found it so shocking and it was sort of fun because it got me all riled up." 

First, you say, "My husband begged for his wife back and I marched ahead towards "Godly submission," modeling my behavior after Lori's rules."

My very basic teaching from God's Word is "wives submit to your husband in everything." So if you had followed your husband's "begging" you would have immediately corrected whatever it was that did not like in your change of character. I can't imagine that it was that you were no longer arguing, and actually trying to please him, but certainly, if you were acting like a Stepford Wife, then you missed much of what I teach from God's Word. Willful submission does not mean we lose our brains, or that we stop being strong, thoughtful women who share their thoughts with our husbands. It only means that when your husband disagrees with you, you allow him to lead.

I question how your can "once thriving physical relationship turn into duty sex?" If you enjoyed sex, did you only enjoy it on your terms and your timing? Did your husband all of the sudden get turned off to a wife who now was readily available to him to enjoy that "thriving" physical relationship you say you had going? A fascinating study that would be as to why :)? And where have I ever taught that a wife cannot enjoy intimacy? I believe just the opposite, and your idea that a once thriving sex life is no longer to be enjoyed is proof you are making this stuff up. 

You write, "I snapped out of it about three months ago. I realized that I was not living in the freedom of Christ. I was shackled..."

You know full well that I believe and teach the wonderful freedom we have in Christ Jesus. If you started feeling shackled by my suggestions as to what may allow a wife to appear more feminine to her husband by being discreet, not burping or passing gas in front of him, then you indeed had a very unhealthy view of self and of who you are in Christ. I am glad that you are picking yourself back up from your false beliefs about what I teach, and as always, I refer you back tom one of my primary teachings. Never listen to anything that anyone tells you without going to the Word of God yourself and checking it out to see if it conforms to God's truth. 

That said, there is nothing I can do when thousands of women each day clearly understand the simple concepts of marriage done according to God's Word, then someone like you comes along and either is making this up or simply has a warped view of what all the others understood so easily. If one or two students in the classroom flunk the test, and all the other students pass, it was the teacher's fault. What I teach is very reasonable stuff and I have never told anyone they cannot live out their life and marriage however they desire. You need to check in with your heart and see what may be causing you to try to follow a Biblical teacher blindly, or why you came to my blog in the first place when it riled you up so badly to read me.

You have the choice to not read, but you do not have the right to mischaracterize and try to deceive others just because you disagree with what I teach. America is turning into a sad place when on social media people like you can just lie about things in an attempt to keep young Christian women away from the truth of God's Word. After all is said, "Wives submit to your husband is not disappearing from the Bible, and only you and each Christian wife can determine what that means and how it is to be lived out before the Lord. All I can do is give practical suggestions as to what this may look like in an attempt to help others, and I really do not think twice about who follows it o does not. My job is to obey God and as an older Christian woman, teach the young Christian women how to love their husbands and children, and be keepers at home." I am not sorry you happened along my path on the wide open expanse of the Internet, and trust the Lord will use His Word in your life as it is said to never return void.

 

And here is her further response a bit later:

 

Quote

Lori Alexander says:

How is one to respond to a person who uses shaming to tell you that you are shaming others? 

You and your group will continue your attacks and lies. There will always be haters on social media who disagree with a writer, especially a conservative Christian writer since they hate the Lord and His ways. So they will malign, like you and that is not going to change a thing about my work and ministry. You know I don't do this for money as it is a money losing proposition to go against the cultural norms and stand up for what was taught in our churches just 30 years ago. Many have now lost biblical thinking because of the infiltration of feministic thinking into our churches but I love the Lord deeply and will continue to teach those who love Him as well.

This is slightly different from what she posted last night, so she must have edited it. 

[Hisey]

(Sorry, I just realized I posted all of this on the other Lori thread.)

[Koala]

As Lori continues to frantically respond to those who have reviewed her book, I'd like to leave her with the following "admonishment":

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Feminine women shouldn't be ones who argue cases and debate others. If you watch the women who do this on television, it isn't feminine at all. It's women wanting to be like men. The Bible calls us to be peacemakers and to pursue peace with all men, not strive to be right and noticed.
 

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/05/forcing-your-opinions-on-others.html

[FundieFarmer]

This is a hot hot mess- both her book, and her reviews. Oh, and her blog. Well, I guess most things about her.

Ultimately, the book opened her up for a load of criticism she can't take on a good day on her own turf. Why did she think she could take it on neutral ground where she couldn't delete-delete-delete?

[Lurky]

53 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

Ultimately, the book opened her up for a load of criticism she can't take on a good day on her own turf. Why did she think she could take it on neutral ground where she couldn't delete-delete-delete?

It's so awesome watching someone reap the rewards of their hubris!  Mind you, since God speaks through her, she's probably telling everyone that this is just like Jesus' suffering....

[ViolaSebastian]

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Lori Alexander’s writings have reached over 21 million in one post as they are championed by the conservative Christian and much maligned and attacked by those who hate the idea of a wife’s willful submission to her husband or disciplining a defiant child.

From the "about the author section" on Amazon. First of all, much of that 21 million was hate-reading. Also, nice straw-man argument, Lori. I've never seen anyone here argue against disciplining children. It's beating children with a leather strap for four hours and hitting children so hard that you worry you've broken their arms that we protest. 

Quote

 It also is causing fireworks in cyberspace as her trolls dog her wherever they can to give a contrary opinion or malicious word. 

Oh man, there are too many good title counts to choose in this!

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Some will love her and some will hate her, but none can say she is not consistently biblical in her writings, even as they fly in the face of a perverse culture. The accusations are that she is too biblical, or too biblically literal, yet what she teaches is clearly spelled out for all who care to read it and believe it in God’s Word.

I've seen enough of @Koala's take downs that I know I, at least, can say that she is not consistently biblical in her writings. 

[littlemommy]

The thing I don't get about Lori is that if she is so relentlessly biblical then her blog could be three words long: Read the Bible. What would be the point of her teaching anything?  In fact, she should encourage people on Amazon to forgo her book entirely and spend their time reading the Bible instead.

[FundieWatcher]

She left this long-ass reply to my Amazon comment today. What lie is she talking about? I haven't changed one word on my original comment either. 

 

Quote

Important note about the poor reviews from those who have NEVER read the book: 

Because the reviewers who are ridiculing me and my book without ever reading the book are now changing their responses to my comments after I catch them in mischaracterizations and lies, I am posting a standard response to each negative review:

From the very first days I began blogging, my biblical perspectives where read by more of those who scoffed and ridiculed me than by Christians who wanted to learn from my experience and wisdom. The louder they screamed the more God blessed has blessed my work as the responses are hugely positive, yet the dissenters seem to stop at little in maligning me and my words. An organized group of women hiding behind their monikers on the Internet believe that biblical marriage as outlined in Paul and Peter’s writings are dangerous as they lead to abuse. No matter how many times I try to be clear that no wife should ever be abused, or allow herself to be abused, it will never be enough for their insatiable desire to shout me and my ministry down. Unfortunately, it is the nature of social media that anyone that disagrees with anyone can write whatever lies they want with impunity, attacking the good character of others, all because they disagree with a point of view. 

If you read the book comments section you will find positive reviews from Christian women who know the truth about me, my writings, and book. But if you choose to read the negative reviews, please keep in mind the source is tainted as their purposeful agenda is to try and keep women from reading a Christian alternative view to modern marriage and family. Please visit https://thetransformedwife.com/ and read for yourself my writings drawing your own conclusions. I welcome disagreement, but because my work is to mentor Christian women who desire to learn from me, I won’t get into discussions that lead away from biblical truth.

I remind myself of the apostle Peter’s words that come just below one of the most powerful passages on wifely submission: “But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.” (I Peter 3:15-17).

 

[Evangeline]

There's no way that's Lori writing those responses. They're far too coherent, and she actually makes a valid point or two. Can't believe I just said that. It's not Ken either, so I wonder who it is.