Jinger and the Jock- I only wanna be with you!

[Chickenbutt]

I have no sisters, but would willingly have you play the part! I think the wedding will be beautiful and the reception a blast. Good food, live music, dancing....all the things fundies find unacceptable. Luckily it is not up to me to coordinate anything...not even the rehearsal dinner. I offered, she declined and said she would take care of it. So I just have to buy a beautiful dress, dance with my son and have fun.

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, Chickenbutt said:

caprese on a stick (whatever the heck that is)

Caprese salad is tomato, mozzarella and basil. 

[Chickenbutt]

Ahhhh thank you. Shows you how cultured I am.....lolololol.

 

ETA: All I could think of was Jeff Dunham and Jose the Jalapeno on a stick

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

I have no sisters, but would willingly have you play the part! I think the wedding will be beautiful and the reception a blast. Good food, live music, dancing....all the things fundies find unacceptable. Luckily it is not up to me to coordinate anything...not even the rehearsal dinner. I offered, she declined and said she would take care of it. So I just have to buy a beautiful dress, dance with my son and have fun.

That is a serious wedding. I hope it is as fun as it sounds.  The poshest and most expensive wedding I went to, I was a bridesmaid in, was the most BORING wedding  ever. There ceremony was like 10 minutes, seriously we were in the church for such a short amount of time I couldn't believe it. The reception was huge bust, everyone ate, bride and groom cut the cake did their first dance and pretty much everyone left.  It shouldn't have surprised me she is uptight and so is her husband. The reception was supposed to last until Midnight but they shut it down about 8:00 as only the wedding party was left. 

[Chickenbutt]

I am not worried about having fun. We have partied with the brides parents in the past. We all have meant up in Vegas a few times. These are not serious people. They like nothing better than a few drinks, a few dances and a good time. They are very down to earth people that love my son and I love them for that reason.

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

I am not worried about having fun. We have partied with the brides parents in the past. We all have meant up in Vegas a few times. These are not serious people. They like nothing better than a few drinks, a few dances and a good time. They are very down to earth people that love my son and I love them for that reason.

Sounds like your son is marrying into a wonderful family - and so is his fiancée. It's always nice when things work out like that. I love when good things happen for good people. 

[Gobsmacked]

9 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@Chickenbutt, suddenly I want to be your long lost sister, who just has to come to your son's wedding. That sounds like it's going to be a really fun reception! I hope it all goes off with a bang! 

So do I!! The whole day sounds wonderful. 

Let us know how it went. ( I'm nosey!) and I love other people's weddings. All the fun, non of the stress!

[Chickenbutt]

We are very lucky that we all like one another. That's a good thing. I will keep you posted on the goings on between now and the wedding. One son having a baby in April, one getting married in June. 2017 will be a good year!

[LawsonBatesEgo]

See, I don't mind honeymoon funds. If anything, I kinda like the ones that let you like, cover something specific. I think experiences are more valuable than things, and I'd rather gift a friend a nice dinner to celebrate her marriage than a toaster she doesn't need or some towels in a colour she secretly thinks are ugly so she uses them for the dog.

And if I am being honest, if I ever get married, while I don't expect gifts, if people do want to give gift gifts, I'd rather money that we could use on a honeymoon. My boyfriend and I already live together, we'll already have most of the house stuff, and honestly, while I know to be grateful for things, I'm picky with stuff and would rather choose my plates/vases/etc and am the type who'd try and return unwanted stuff/sell it on Ebay so it isn't cluttering up my home. That might sound unthankful, but I'm someone who likes to have just things I need and like in my home and that's it. I can't stand needless clutter. 

[louisa05]

26 minutes ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

See, I don't mind honeymoon funds. If anything, I kinda like the ones that let you like, cover something specific. I think experiences are more valuable than things, and I'd rather gift a friend a nice dinner to celebrate her marriage than a toaster she doesn't need or some towels in a colour she secretly thinks are ugly so she uses them for the dog.

And if I am being honest, if I ever get married, while I don't expect gifts, if people do want to give gift gifts, I'd rather money that we could use on a honeymoon. My boyfriend and I already live together, we'll already have most of the house stuff, and honestly, while I know to be grateful for things, I'm picky with stuff and would rather choose my plates/vases/etc and am the type who'd try and return unwanted stuff/sell it on Ebay so it isn't cluttering up my home. That might sound unthankful, but I'm someone who likes to have just things I need and like in my home and that's it. I can't stand needless clutter. 

The purpose of a registry is so you can choose it. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Just now, louisa05 said:

The purpose of a registry is so you can choose it. 

Well yes, but when you have lived together for years like many couples have these days, there's really not much to actually put on a registry. Most couples have already bought the stuff they need for a home and have chosen stuff they like. 

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Well yes, but when you have lived together for years like many couples have these days, there's really not much to actually put on a registry. Most couples have already bought the stuff they need for a home and have chosen stuff they like. 

Not everyone buys all that. People often live with hand me downs and spend their resources elsewhere. I got accused of being gift grabby for having a very modest registry because I was "too old" and clearly had already bought everything. Except I didn't own a pot with a lid. Literally. 

But that was not the point of my comment. You said you would not want wedding gifts because you would want to pick out your own stuff. Registries were invented so people could pick out their own stuff and still receive gifts. 

[Alachantal]

1 minute ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Well yes, but when you have lived together for years like many couples have these days, there's really not much to actually put on a registry. Most couples have already bought the stuff they need for a home and have chosen stuff they like. 

This is exactly my fiance and I. We lived alone for years prior to moving in together and have everything we need. We have no reason to have a registry to fill our place with more crap we don't need. I mean, yeah we could maybe use one or two small items (ex: we need a new wooden spatula, but we have 2 other plastic ones anyway, so no big deal) or a couple towels, but we can easily buy those items ourselves. Instead we've told people that if they feel the need to give something, they can either donate to a charity of their choice (or to the SPCA or Orphan's Fund if they want to go with our choice in charities) or if they feel the need to give us something they're more than welcome to contribute towards our honeymoon (we're traveling to Ukraine to see my family, Bulgaria to see his, and a little bit of time in Greece). But that's 100% up to the guests. We're more interested in having them over to celebrate with us than get presents. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

6 minutes ago, Alachantal said:

This is exactly my fiance and I. We lived alone for years prior to moving in together and have everything we need. We have no reason to have a registry to fill our place with more crap we don't need. I mean, yeah we could maybe use one or two small items (ex: we need a new wooden spatula, but we have 2 other plastic ones anyway, so no big deal) or a couple towels, but we can easily buy those items ourselves. Instead we've told people that if they feel the need to give something, they can either donate to a charity of their choice (or to the SPCA or Orphan's Fund if they want to go with our choice in charities) or if they feel the need to give us something they're more than welcome to contribute towards our honeymoon (we're traveling to Ukraine to see my family, Bulgaria to see his, and a little bit of time in Greece). But that's 100% up to the guests. We're more interested in having them over to celebrate with us than get presents. 

That is pretty much exactly how my boyfriend and I feel about this. We'd like to get married in 2019 (we're the pragmatic type who discusses things, so it's not a surprised he is going to propose one day, but whatever, it means I'm getting the kind of ring I like. He has pictures of exactly what I want lol) but we already live together and have accumulated stuff to make a home. I know some people hate the idea of people asking for money, but honestly, we'd basically use it for the honeymoon which means that we'd end up putting the money we would have spent on the honeymoon towards a house deposit....which is basically setting up a home together anyway. Things are just a bit different these days then they were when the tradition first started. 

[Alachantal]

20 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

Wedding receptions.....arggghhhh. My younger son is getting married in June. They just meant with the wedding planner and caterer at the venue to hash things out. The guest list is 350 give or take a few. They are planning on a cocktail hour with bacon wrapped scallops, caprese on a stick (whatever the heck that is), grilled asparagus spears and a few other things. Then there is a sit down dinner with choices of steak, chicken or veggie option. Mashed potatoes, asparagus, salad and bread. After that there is a dessert bar with truffles and the like. And of course the cake. Then at the end there will be take out containers and small finger foods, burritos, tacos, spring rolls etc, for guests to fill up containers and take with them. There will be an open bar with all the beer, liquor and mixed drinks you can imagine.

The wedding is outdoors on a ranch owned by the brides parents with very limited access (dirt roads), so the parents will be providing all transportation from the closest town. They have rented a parking lot for guests to park and will be shuttling guests every 15 minutes, back and forth. They have rented "pretty" porta potties (trailers) to be placed on site.

Money is no object for the brides family (but it certainly is for us) and Mr. Butt and I discussed our budget and I called the brides mom and told her what we could contribute. She declined our offer and said to give it to the kids. She is also paying for all the attendants clothing. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, kids etc.

Personally I think all this is over the top and way too much, but the bride is an only child and this is what they all want. My son just nods and smiles...lol.

Also, the wedding is "unplugged"...no phones, no photos. There will be photos booths and the photographers will be making all photos available online for guests. I'm not real clear on how all this works.

This is one time I am glad I had boys!

ETA: The parents are also paying for all hotel rooms for the night before the wedding for any out of town guests. The guest just has to call and reserve the room/s at one of the three hotels the parents have contracted with and the bill will be sent to the parents.

That sounds like a wonderful reception! It also sounds crazy stressful lol. I wouldn't want to be in your son or DIL's shoes having to plan that even with help from family, it sounds like so much work!! 

We're doing about 25 people in April 2017, and renting the amenity room at our apartment (ceremony in a park garden elsewhere) and our main concern is having enough food/booze for everyone, especially since the reception would be around an early dinner time. I think we've settled on 3 kinds of lasagna, Greek salad, ceasar salad, cabbage rolls, homebaked bread, spinach dip, deli/cheese platter, vegetable platters, fruit platters, pierogi, potato salad, banitsa & pitka (Bulgarian food), shish kebabs, cevapici (sausages), as well as bacon wrapped scallops, popcorn chicken, wings, and mini samosas. We're also doing a tray or two of mini desserts as well as in place of a traditional wedding cake we're having 2 cakes, his favourite and my favourite. And all of the food is either homemade or from our local deli or Costco. Both us as well as our families are making the food and both our mothers have offered to come to the apartment and use the ovens to heat things for us. We only have to buy beer, wine and champagne because we have enough liquor at home to overfill our cabinet (fiance collects, but neither of us really drink), and will get a shit tonne of pop and juice from Costco. We're also buying some of those Styrofoam take-away containers so guests are free to take leftovers with them.

To the bolded: is it a standard to pay for out of town guests hotel? We're not having many from out of town because we will visit our families on our honeymoon, but we are having two couples from another province. One of the couples has parents still living out here so has somewhere free to stay, and the other couple we've offered them to stay with us since they had us stay with them when we went and visited them for a weekend. I wasn't sure what the standard custom is, are we supposed to offer to pay their accommodation? I definitely don't want to be rude, but it also in a way feels rude to offer to pay for them to have a hotel.

[Mela99]

I don't think it's standard to pay for hotel rooms. Most people just reserve a block of rooms for people. That's what we did. The only thing we provided for hotel guests were welcome bags -some local snacks and drinks and a few maps and pamphlets. 

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Well yes, but when you have lived together for years like many couples have these days, there's really not much to actually put on a registry. Most couples have already bought the stuff they need for a home and have chosen stuff they like. 

Same here. I don't known what we would put on a registry, plus I'm picky and I know my extended family has different income levels. When we need something, we buy it. We don't need anything. I don't want useless single purpose kitchen items. My sheets aren't ready to be replaced. I like my mismatched plates and glasses. We have nice pot and pans. And the things on my "nice to have" list are unaffordable for most of my family. 

I'd much rather have money or airline miles. Or just use the gift money to lobby for a national heath care system, so no one has to choose between medication or rent. Heck, buy a book and give it to a prison. 

[Chickenbutt]

@AlachantalNo it is absolutely not traditional to pay for hotel rooms for guests. The brides parents have more money than God and they just want to make everything easy for the guests. They have contracted with 3 hotels and all the guest has to do is call, tell the hotel they are a guest at the wedding and the room will be booked and charged to the brides parents.

[VixenToast]

Weddings weddings weddings. Lol. My single ass is sitting here, eating ice cream and hating my ex (still getting over him.).  It's so very nice to read about normal, nonabusive relationships. I'll get my turn one day maybe. In the meantime, Congratulations to all the newly married, soon to be married, or the freshly engaged. 

In the vein or registries and etiquette, I've never heard of it being thought that someone wastoo old for a registry. Seriously, like wtf? Is that similar to how a woman should only have one baby shower, for her first child?

[CharlieInCharge]

We had a super small wedding, just witnesses and our dog. We told my husband's family no gifts since we had everything we needed. My SIL nonetheless 'gifted' us a humongous used stroller with out-of-date car seat. Only wedding gift we got and I never used it because it was too heavy and old. I would just advise everyone to be happy they got anything, lol  

PS - the SIL is notorious for passing used crap off as gifts for all occasions, this was just one example.

[alba]

We had a super small wedding, just witnesses and our dog. We told my husband's family no gifts since we had everything we needed. My SIL nonetheless 'gifted' us a humongous used stroller with out-of-date car seat. Only wedding gift we got and I never used it because it was too heavy and old. I would just advise everyone to be happy they got anything, lol [emoji4] 

PS - the SIL is notorious for passing used crap off as gifts for all occasions, this was just one example.

I think you win for worst gift ever. I actually had to go back and read your post to check it was a wedding gift and not a baby gift, because seriously, unless you were pregnant at the time even a new, top-of-the-line stroller isn't an appropriate wedding gift.

[Toothfairy]

Get hitched in the court house. 

[season of life]

2 hours ago, VixenToast said:

Weddings weddings weddings. Lol. My single ass is sitting here, eating ice cream and hating my ex (still getting over him.). 

Unlike those married couples, we get to hog ice cream for ourselves! And we get the whole bed! Our time shall come.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

15 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Not everyone buys all that. People often live with hand me downs and spend their resources elsewhere. I got accused of being gift grabby for having a very modest registry because I was "too old" and clearly had already bought everything. Except I didn't own a pot with a lid. Literally. 

But that was not the point of my comment. You said you would not want wedding gifts because you would want to pick out your own stuff. Registries were invented so people could pick out their own stuff and still receive gifts. 

That's fine but we have been fortunate enough to have everything we need in our home and putting stuff on a registry would just accumulating clutter and extra things we don't need. I'd rather go buy more towels when I need them then have 25 unused towels in the closet. Just a personal preference. And everyone has their own, and unless someone is being REALLY grabby (like Blessa and JillyMuffin making sure the leghumpers found their registries), I'll never judge someone for what works best for them. 

13 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Same here. I don't known what we would put on a registry, plus I'm picky and I know my extended family has different income levels. When we need something, we buy it. We don't need anything. I don't want useless single purpose kitchen items. My sheets aren't ready to be replaced. I like my mismatched plates and glasses. We have nice pot and pans. And the things on my "nice to have" list are unaffordable for most of my family. 

I'd much rather have money or airline miles. Or just use the gift money to lobby for a national heath care system, so no one has to choose between medication or rent. Heck, buy a book and give it to a prison. 

That's another reason I'd rather not have a registry. I don't want to be 'locked in' to one shop to pick out stuff....I like being able to put up things as I need them and get the product I want. A registry would lead to a bit of 'settling' to keep things with one store and I can be picky. And like you, there is also a significant wealth gap between my mother's side of my family and my father's, and having everyone on the same registry could be awkward.

I like the idea of just wishing box and people can just give whatever they like....a handmade card on it's own, a card with $50 in it, a card with $1000, whatever they want and feel comfortable with. 

[paulypepper]

7 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

Get hitched in the court house. 

Been there, done that!