Florida stories

[December]

10 hours ago, 47of74 said:

When will people learn that naked pics of ones self never end well?

More like when will adults learn that revenge porn is never the answer? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Am I the only one who has an ex-husband who would consider this a tribute?

[PennySycamore]

The premiere is  in 10 minutes here on the East Coast!

[iheartchacos]

Enjoyed it! Creeped in the daughter's FB after watching..

[Grimalkin]

On November 18, 2016 at 7:37 AM, violynn said:

Is there a link, @Grimalkin?  I've looked on ID's official page and their FB, did a light Google check, didn't see a reference (admittedly, my Google fu is weak and lowly).

Sorry, I don't have a link. I just caught the promo quickly.

[SnazzyNazzy]

We are going to Florida for two weeks next summer. I have a feeling, that I will be around "my people" (a lot of Florida news makes complete sense to me).

I will face each day, like one of my TV hero does....

Spoiler

 

[unsafetydancer]

We have a similar thing in Scotland my friend started called "Dundee man". Highlights so far include riding a spacehopper along the North Marketgait dual carriageway on Hogmanay and a hillarious newspaper board fail that accidentally said something very rude. Florida man is amazing also.

[MarblesMom]

@unsafetydancer what is a spacehopper?  Like a Segway?

[mango_fandango]

Seriously- are all Floridians stupid? (Yes I get that there will be SOME clever people there, but you know what I mean). How come all the weirdos are in one state? 

[DaniLouisiana]

There's something in the water?

[unsafetydancer]

@MarblesMom this is a spacehopper.

[LadyCrow1313]

2 hours ago, unsafetydancer said:

@MarblesMom this is a spacehopper.

That must've been the inspiration for the bouncing balls episode of South Park; weed became legal, so the men all did stupid things to get testicular cancer (& got an rx to smoke medicinal marijuana).

The show's both funnier (& grosser) than my description, trust me. 

[47of74]

Florida Man needs a new set of wheels.

orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-satan-florida-car-dealership-20161118-story.html

Quote

A man calling himself “Satan” walked into a Jacksonville Toyota dealership and demanded a hell of a deal — unless he got a car, he was going to shoot everyone.

It all happened at Keith Pierson Toyota on Youngerman Circle in Jacksonville on Thursday. According to ActionNewsJax.com, the man told an employee that he was “Satan, sent by Jesus.”

Jacksonville Police confirmed that it took them 29 minutes to get to the scene after receiving the first 911 call from the car dealership.

Once the arrived, it was determined the man who was calling himself Satan didn’t actually have a gun. He was taken into custody for mental evaluation under the Baker Act.

 

[47of74]

Of course this happened in Florida.

freebeacon.com/politics/santa-replaced-hillary-naughty/

Quote

A Santa Claus at Seminole Towne Center in Sanford has been removed from his duties after an Oviedo woman claimed that he told her child Hillary Clinton was on his naughty list.

The mother told Towne Center management the incident happened Tuesday night when she brought two of her children to see Santa.

She said when her 10-year-old daughter told him what she wanted for Christmas, he told her she was on his nice list.

She said he then asked her, "Do you know who is on my naughty list? Hillary Clinton." The girl said he then laughed.

Do you know who is now on my fuck you list?  That Santa.  If I had an opportunity I'd say to him look cocksplat, I don't care if you're a card carrying member of the Nazi party.  The politics get left at the goddamn door, especially after the suit goes on.

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Jacksonville Police confirmed that it took them 29 minutes to get to the scene after receiving the first 911 call from the car dealership.

What the hell? Someone is threatening to shoot everyone and it takes the police 29 minutes to respond? What else were they doing?

[bashfulpixie]

3 hours ago, Bethella said:

What the hell? Someone is threatening to shoot everyone and it takes the police 29 minutes to respond? What else were they doing?

That was my first thought! If he did have a gun, everyone would be dead in 29 minutes

[LadyCrow1313]

2 hours ago, bashfulpixie said:

That was my first thought! If he did have a gun, everyone would be dead in 29 minutes

Dunkin Donuts must've been having a sale, then.  :: rolls eyes ::

I do like & respect (most) cops, truly, but when a (threat of ) weapon's involved & they take that long to respond? :: rolls eyes again ::

 

[Four is Enough]

I can only imagine that it must have been super traffic heavy.

 

[mango_fandango]

I know someone who should be on Santa's naughty list, and it ain't her. 

Actually scratch that. He should be on the "massive wanker" list.

[RosyDaisy]

I hope a kid shit on him before he was fired.

[clueliss]

http://krcgtv.com/news/offbeat/battle-over-holiday-displays-satanic-display-placed-next-to-nativity-scene

And when I saw where this was, I could not resist bringing the article here.  (And personally, I don't care if you put the Satan display next to the manger).

Quote

 

BOCA RATON (CBS12) — A Boca Raton community is in disbelief after a large pentagram display reading, "In Satan we trust", is placed in the middle of Sanborn Square. The display reads, "Celebrate Winter Solstice", as well as, "Hail Satan, Not Gods."

Further outraging many locals is that it's placed between a Christmas Tree and a Christian Nativity scene. Michael, a Boca Raton resident, said, "You can express how you feel but you don't need to spite someone else's holiday to get your message across."

The group behind it is a national foundation, "Freedom From Religion." 

The organization is based out of Wisconsin, advocating for separation of church and government. On their Facebook page they wrote, "Away with the manger, in with Solstice. If there will be religious symbols, there will be atheistic and secular messages as well."

According to our news partners at the Sun Sentinel, the man who physically built the structure is Preston Smith. Smith is a teacher for Palm Beach City Schools.

Additionally, don't expect the satanic star to be taken down before Christmas. It is allowed to stay because it's on government property in a "free speech zone."

1

 

[LadyCrow1313]

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, & I had to share it here:

Florida woman arrested after twerking on car, police say

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/gainesville-woman-arrested-after-twerking-on-car-ignoring-officers

Haven't heard from Florida Man in a while, so it's good that Florida Woman is picking up the slack.   

[47of74]

Yeah, here's Florida Man. 

upi.com/Odd_News/2016/12/14/Florida-armed-robber-defeated-by-intended-victim-a-former-pro-wrestler/7041481738886/?spt=mps&or=2&sn=on

Quote

CORAL SPRINGS, Fla., Dec. 14 (UPI) -- An alleged robber at a Florida convenience store picked the wrong potential victim when the man he threatened with a BB gun turned out to be a former WWE wrestler.

Shad Gaspard, a former WWE wrestler, was shopping Saturday night at a convenience store in Coral Springs with fellow wrestler JTG when he was approached by a stranger.

The man then brandished a realistic-looking BB gun, causing Gaspard to jump into action.

"I just kept thinking about how I wanted to make sure I got home to my son," he told Pro Wrestling Sheet. "I'm not dying in Florida."

Reason he's been so quiet lately is that he's been in jail again.  

[LadyCrow1313]

8 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah, here's Florida Man. 

upi.com/Odd_News/2016/12/14/Florida-armed-robber-defeated-by-intended-victim-a-former-pro-wrestler/7041481738886/?spt=mps&or=2&sn=on

Reason he's been so quiet lately is that he's been in jail again.  

Never mess with a pro-wrassler, retired or not. 99% of the time, it won't end well for you; it will make the rest of us laugh, though, so thank you for that Florida Man. 

[RosyDaisy]

That vaguely sounds like Mellie and Dallas from MBFAGW. and Gypsy Sisters (an insult to real Roma/Romanichals).