Florida stories

[LadyCrow1313]

Can't help but also wonder if he was pretending to be Dr Frankenstein & trying to revive his manhood.
 

[RandomTrivia]

Squirrels are crazy little devils.  A local public garden had to start trapping them - too many people feeding them, and they started following people around.  We saw some idiot woman getting her toddler to hand-feed one. 

Or I could be biased - they set up a home in our attic for a while and actually destroyed at least two bird feeders and the grill igniter.

[CrazyCatLady]

My high school was out in the woods and squirrels would hide in out garbage cans and pop out when we would throw food away. It was creepy.

[mango_fandango]

Echoing a poster above: how come Florida seems to be full of dumbasses?? Obviously there will be SOME clever people but on here Floridians seem to be regarded as quite thick. 

[HarryPotterFan]

The only good thing about Florida is Orlando.   

Why don't we have a Mikey emoji?

[PennySycamore]

Speaking of Florida,  Discovery ID is going to have a new program about the crazy, weird crimes in Florida.  Can't remember the title of the series though or when it debuts.

[smittykins]

It's called Truth Is Stranger Than Florida.

[smittykins]

15 hours ago, smittykins said:

It's called Truth Is Stranger Than Florida.

Sorry to quote myself, but I just saw the promo; it premieres on the 25th.

[FundieFarmer]

I seriously don't understand Florida. That said, I had a friend in college who was walking to class when a squirrel fell out of a tree and onto her head.

At my college in Florida, they'd just climb straight onto you, and walk right up to your plate and take your food if you weren't watching [emoji23]

[mango_fandango]

On 12 November 2016 at 8:12 PM, FundieFarmer said:

At my college in Florida, they'd just climb straight onto you, and walk right up to your plate and take your food if you weren't watching

Cheeky bastards! And quite extrovert too. Most squirrels I've seen run away when they spot a human.

[VooDooChild]

Is it the proximity to the Bermuda Triangle?  Is it something in the water?  Florida is a world unto itself.  I know this is in bad taste, but this story made me giggle.  Squirrels are assholes.

[Palimpsest]

Uh.  We had a squirrel invasion recently.  It was an awful week.  The damn squirrel in question was a protected Northern Flying Squirrel.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_flying_squirrel

It wasn't aggressive but it took far too long to get that little sucker to vacate the premises.

[47of74]

The latest in the never ending adventures of Florida man;

thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/ramen-noodle-battery-528391

Quote

A Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after striking his live-in boyfriend with a cup of ramen noodles, police report.

Michael Herrick, 40, and his beau “got into a verbal argument at their residence in regards to questions of infidelity,” according to an arrest affidavit detailing the confrontation Friday.

The 12:30 AM dispute in the couple’s Pinellas Park home turned violent when Herrick threw a cup of ramen noodles at the victim, who was struck in the neck by the noodles. Herrick, cops noted, said that “water was thrown on him” prior to his noodle tossing.

After cops concluded that Herrick was the incident’s primary aggressor, he was arrested for domestic battery. The 6’ 7”, 200-pound Herrick was booked into jail on the misdemeanor count and released from custody yesterday afternoon on his own recognizance.

 

[LadyCrow1313]

Moral of the story, kids: don't eat ramen noodles. They are part of the Devil. 

However, if you add your own spices/oil instead of the evil spice pack, then you'll be safe. 

[Grimalkin]

I heard after noodle tossing, there was salad tossing for dessert.

 

OMG- sorry.

[Grimalkin]

     ID has a new show. About our most interesting state!

[violynn]

Is there a link, @Grimalkin?  I've looked on ID's official page and their FB, did a light Google check, didn't see a reference (admittedly, my Google fu is weak and lowly).

[PennySycamore]

@violynn,  the ID webpage tends to only have stuff that they've already done and not for forthcoming broadcasts.   That's frustrating, quite frankly, and it used not to be that way.,

[smittykins]

I've seen promos saying it debuts on the 25th.

[47of74]

Here comes Florida Man, roaring back to life after news from other parts of the country overshadowed him;

thesmokinggun.com/documents/drunk/busch-beer-soaked-629314

Quote

According to cops, Daniel Colon, 46, entered the Treasure Island convenience store around 7:30 PM Saturday looking for a bathroom. When that search failed, Colon opened a door marked “Employees Only,” a criminal complaint alleges.

He then entered what turned out to be the 7-Eleven’s walk-in cooler. Colon (pictured at right) then began urinating on “several cases of beer.” A store employee who had spotted Colon entering the cooler confronted him and told him to stop. Colon then left the store and drove away.

Colon, cops reported, “urinated over 6 cases of Busch Light,” causing the store (seen below) a loss of nearly $100.

Colon was subsequently arrested after his vehicle was pulled over by cops searching for the 7-Eleven suspect. In addition to criminal mischief and burglary charges stemming from the cooler urination, Colon was also charged with drunk driving.

 

He told cops he couldn't find the crapper so that's why he used the cooler.

Well at least he didn't pee on the good beer.

[LadyCrow1313]

Florida Man, Florida Man, does whatever a Florida Man does.

Well, beside whizzing on the beer; I don't like beer that much anyways (other than some raspberry stuff I had many moons ago that was tasty), so no loss there.

[smittykins]

Maybe we need a "Florida man" subforum.

[47of74]

And not to be outdone, here's Florida Woman;

thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/hide-that-flash-drive-guys-017348

Quote

The 32-year-old Floridian is jailed on a stalking charge after she allegedly distributed naked photos of her ex-husband to the man’s employer and parents.

Gaitan (pictured at right) was arrested yesterday on the misdemeanor charge at the Palm Harbor home she once shared with her ex-spouse. The couple's marriage was dissolved in February, according to court records.

Police allege that Gaitan “mailed a CD of the nude images to her ex-husband’s parents” and hand delivered “packages of CDs” to her former husband’s workplace. The CDs were labeled “Requires Immediate Attention.”

Gaitan, investigators charge, obtained the explicit photos “from her ex-husband’s flash drive.” In a post-arrest interview, Gaitan reportedly confessed to “burning the images to discs” and then distributing the CD

When will people learn that naked pics of ones self never end well?

[LadyCrow1313]

Florida Woman, Florida Woman. Does whatever a Florida Woman does.

:: rolls eyes ::

I'm glad to see that stupidity goes beyond any gender rules. That makes me happy.   

[FundieFarmer]

BAHAHAHA. Florida. Why.

I have to say that nothing tops the idiots who threw the gator through the drive through window...but this is pretty close.