Florida stories

[LadyCrow1313]

22 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

That vaguely sounds like Mellie and Dallas from MBFAGW. and Gypsy Sisters (an insult to real Roma/Romanichals).

Now that you mention that, @RosyDaisy, that would make sense. And yes, I freely admit to watching MBFAGW quite frequently.

[Mercer]

In my opinion, if one group gets to display their religious symbols, so should everyone else. Religious freedom doesn't mean picking and choosing which religions/philosophical systems get to speak, it means everyone should have their voice.

[47of74]

And, of course, this happened in Florida!

thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/chewbacca-arrested-for-grand-theft-184903

Quote

A former employee of a Florida vending machine company dressed up in a Chewbacca costume and stole money from a pair of kiosks he previously maintained, according to cops who arrested the "Star Wars" devotee for grand theft.

According to investigators, Darren Pickrem, 56, took a total of $623 from a pair of vending machines operated by Florida Fresh Vending. The heist occurred late last Sunday at an office in Largo and was captured by a security camera.

“The defendant,” a felony complaint states, “was observed on video entering the above location in a ‘Chewbacca’ costume.”

Pickrem was “terminated” by the vending company two months ago, cops report. And while he knew enough to wear a disguise, Pickrem inexplicably allowed cameras to get a shot of his face as he entered the building containing the vending machines.

 

[47of74]

Then this happened...

woodtv.com/2016/12/22/fleeing-burglars-hop-fence-into-police-parking-lot/

Quote

Two Florida burglary suspects running from police thought they could escape by hopping a fence.

One problem — on the other side was the Boca Raton Police Department parking lot.

Video released by Police Chief Dan Alexander on Thursday shows numerous gun-wielding officers running toward suspects to capture them. Officer Sandra Boonenberg said she and other officers heard the suspects were nearing the station Wednesday, so they went outside in case they were needed.

A neighbor had spotted the two men and a woman burglarizing a house and called police, giving officers a description of the suspects.

 

[47of74]

And guess where the first drive thru rage arrest of 2017 happened?  Yep, a Florida McDonalds...

thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/inaugural-2017-drive-thru-rage-628931

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Investigators allege that William Silva, 49, exploded after being "tied up" in the drive-thru lane, which was “backed up” Sunday around 10:30 PM.

Silva, cops say, entered the Clearwater McDonald’s (seen below) and started screaming and cursing at employees. After being asked to calm down, Silva allegedly attacked worker Manuel Cano, who was off-duty at the time.

While Silva, pictured at right, denied starting the January 1 altercation or creating a disturbance inside the restaurant, his account of the incident was contradicted by Cano and a McDonald’s manager.

Silva was arrested for disorderly conduct and battery, both misdemeanors. He was released from the county jail last night after posting $650 bond. Silva’s rap sheet includes convictions for cocaine possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

 

[47of74]

Ugh

bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38535699

Quote

It happened at the baggage claim area in Terminal 2, just before 1300 local time (1800 GMT), the airport confirmed.

There were five people dead and one person in custody, said Broward Sheriff's office. A second man was led away by police some time after.

Hundreds of people were standing on the tarmac as dozens of police cars and ambulances rushed to the scene.

Thirteen people have been injured and were taken to local hospitals, Broward County Mayor Barbara Sharief told US media.

 

[MarblesMom]

Reading the article just gave me chills.  Prayers for the families and everyone affected by this...

 

[Fascinated]

I commented on my status thingy because a week ago we were in the exact location these shootings took place. We are flying out of there on Monday but, as my son says, it will probably be very safe there then.  We don't usually fly in and out of Fort Lauderdale, and it's a little scary that this has happened here now.  It wouldn't surprise me if there are Canadians among the casualties, as that is the terminal our carriers use.  Crazy, scary world. 

[bashfulpixie]

I feel so sad for the family and friends of those affected

I'm so unbelievably tired of these mass shootings. I'm to the point that I just feel numb to it all. It's like... another day, another mass shooting. Business as usual

[47of74]

And here's Florida Woman, making her presence known in 2017

thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/battery-followed-rejection-472936

Quote

After her husband refused to have sex with her, a 61-year-old Florida woman punched her spouse in the face before twice kneeing him in the groin, according to police who arrested the woman for domestic battery.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, a tipsy Kerry Lee Pineiro last night clobbered her husband inside the couple’s condominium in Seminole. Pineiro, cops charge, became “upset” with the 60-year-old victim “after he would not have sex with her.”

After punching her husband in the eye, Pineiro kneed him in the groin when he sought to keep her from driving away from their home, investigators allege. Pineiro is also accused of kneeing her spouse in the groin a second time and then kneeing him in the thigh.

When questioned by a cop, Pineiro said she had “zero story,” adding that she wanted to go to jail. En route to the county lockup, Pineiro, seen above in a Facebook photo, denied striking her husband.

 

[47of74]

And now we have a former Illinois and now Florida woman who's been busted again for offering to give an undercover officer a hand, if you know what I mean...

thesmokinggun.com/buster/jacksonville/septuagenarian-rub-tug-940372

Quote

An undercover vice operation targeting a Florida massage parlor netted a 70-year-old woman who allegedly “offered to masturbate the detective” for an additional $60, according to an arrest report.

Septuagenarian Sun Hee Gribat was collared Tuesday at Jax Therapy in Jacksonville. Police began probing the business after receiving reports that female employees performed sex acts on customers.

After an undercover detective paid Gribat $70 for a 30-minute rubdown, she led him to a massage room. During the massage, cops allege, Gribat allegedly “offered to masturbate the detective for additional $60.00.”

According to Illinois court records, Gribat was arrested in 2014 on a prostitution charge. Gribat, then 67, was working at a St. Charles massage parlor when she offered to lend a hand to an undercover cop. In a plea deal, Gribat entered a one-year deferred prosecution program.

 

[MarblesMom]

Now there's a happy ending....

[Jucifer]

Trying to catch up...

 

'OCTOBER 5--In a scene deserving of a “Yakety Sax” score, a 350-pound Florida man ran from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but his getaway was compromised when his pants--containing his ID--“fell off as he ran away,” according to cops who yesterday apprehended the suspect, who had a crack pipe stuffed with Brillo buried in his anus at the time of his 3:43 AM arrest.

How’s that for a lede?

According to court complaints, Columbus Henderson fled from a Walmart Supercenter in Fort Lauderdale on September 26 with a pair of 40-inch Hisense televisions. Henderson, seen at right, bolted with the merchandise after he allowed a cashier to scan the $298 items.

As he scooted through the parking lot, the 45-year-old Henderson’s pants “fell off as he ran away,” according to Officer Scott Brandow. It appears that after Henderson’s pants fell to his ankles, he proceeded to run right out of the garment.  Police later determined that Henderson’s abandoned pants contained the suspect’s “medical identification.” Investigators added, “The entire incident was captured on video.”

It took cops about a week to catch up with Henderson, who was nabbed early Tuesday morning for grand theft, a felony.     

Upon arrival at the Pinellas County jail, Henderson informed officers that he had a crack pipe concealed in his anus. “When officers removed him from the vehicle, the defendant had removed the crack pipe from his anus and dropped it on the ground,” a patrolman reported.

The glass pipe was recovered by officers who reported that it was “stuffed” with steel wool and had burn marks on one end (Henderson was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia).'

 

Was telling Mr. J this story:

me:  blah blah blah... Yakety Sax!  Hahaha!

him:  Yakety slacks.

[SadieJane]

On 1/10/2017 at 9:46 AM, 47of74 said:

And here's Florida Woman, making her presence known in 2017

thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/battery-followed-rejection-472936

 

Awwww come on now..... She was just making herself happily available to him. lmao

[nokidsmom]

We have "Florida stories" in my family, thanks to a couple of relatives living there.  Not all of them but there's a couple that just have ongoing "interesting" situations in their lives.

[polecat]

Well, this isn't Florida, but ... it's ... indescribable.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/01/25/fast-food-worker-turns-herself-after-allegedly-putting-menstrual-blood-burger/97032104/

 

ETA: And where's the menstrual roast sitter when you need her?

[clueliss]

Not from Florida but this seems to be the best spot for it.  "Prolific Thief" (Geography Note - Overland Park is part of Suburban KC).

http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article128890679.html

Quote

Prolific Overland Park clothing thief pleads guilty to stealing bras

Kelli Jo Bauer Johnson County Sheriff’s Office

BY TONY RIZZO

trizzo@kcstar.com

For the fourth time since 2008, an Overland Park woman pleaded guilty Thursday to shoplifting clothing from an area store.

Kelli Jo Bauer was arrested in the new theft case the day before she was scheduled to be sentenced for another case where police recovered truckloads of clothing from her $900,000 home in an exclusive neighborhood.

The latest case involved the theft of five bras from a Lenexa Kohl’s store in November.

Bauer, 47, pleaded guilty Thursday to one count of felony theft.

According to court documents, after taking the bras without paying for them, Bauer returned them to the store for a cash refund.

The day after she was arrested in the Kohl’s case, Bauer was scheduled to be sentenced for stealing more than $25,000 in merchandise from other stores.

That case began in 2015 when Overland Park police found a Facebook posting for the sale of “high-end” clothing. Undercover detectives visited Bauer’s home as buyers and followed her to several stores, where they saw her steal items.

Bauer pleaded guilty in May to a felony charge of theft between $25,000 and $100,000, as well as two misdemeanor counts of theft of less than $1,000.

The plea agreement in that case called for her to receive probation and pay restitution, but after her latest arrest, prosecutors filed notice that they would withdraw from the agreement.

Bauer is now scheduled to be sentenced in both cases on March 24.

She was previously convicted of theft in 2008 and 2013, according to court records.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article128890679.html#storylink=cpy

2

 

[pamplemousse]

Florida Man is at it again, this time trying to disguise himself as a cartoon character...

http://www.wtsp.com/news/police-man-in-sponge-bob-outfit-stood-over-sleeping-woman-in-st-pete/394538059

Quote

 

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. --  An intruder who police say was wearing a Sponge Bob outfit, while standing over a sleeping woman was arrested Monday morning. The suspect was wanted in other crimes, as well.

It happened at around 7:15 a.m. Police responded to a home burglary call near 21st Avenue South and 7th Street.  A woman who had been asleep on her couch woke up to find the suspect, identified as Steven Charles Kirkland, 32, wearing the Sponge Bob outfit.

 

 

[47of74]

Florida man getting some extramarital activities in.

http://www.kcrg.com/content/news/Police-Florida-pastor-caught-with-mans-wife-flees-naked-412276633.html

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) - A police report says a prominent Florida pastor was forced to run out of a house naked after a woman's husband came home to find him having sex with his wife.

The Tallahassee Democrat reports police documents show a woman's husband found her in bed with Pastor O. Jermaine Simmons in the middle of the afternoon on Jan. 17. The woman told police that her husband yelled that he was going to kill Simmons, who fled the apartment naked and hid behind a nearby fence. The husband took the pastor's clothes, wallet and car keys and later agreed to return the items following negotiations with police.

[pamplemousse]

Florida Man thinks the best way to escape from cops is to crash into police cars while doing so. 

http://www.alligator.org/news/crime/article_1519bd90-ec22-11e6-89bf-233241a576f1.html

Quote

 

Driving a stolen car filled with drugs, fake money and a gun, a Gainesville man led police on a chase that included crashing into a police car, the Alachua County Sheriff's Office said.

Marquese Terrell Chandler, 18, was driving at about 11:30 a.m, a 17-year-old passenger with him, when ACSO deputies tried to pull him over with lights and sirens, according to a police report. He sped up, drove into a ditch and crashed the car.

The car emerged from the ditch and drove through traffic, according to the report. In an attempt to flee officers, he drove into the ditch a second time — his only escape blocked by a police car.

Chandler rammed the car into the side of the police car and pushed it away, according to the report. He accelerated to 95 mph, driving west on Northwest 53rd Avenue. He blew a tire and wrecked the car again.

He fled on foot and was cornered by deputies, according to the report.

Police found $2,500 in fake bills in Chandler’s possession, along with marijuana and a loaded handgun in the car, according to the report.

After his arrest, Chandler admitted he purchased drugs and encouraged the minor to use them, according to the report.

 

 

[47of74]

Ugh, Florida Man again

thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/pistolero-pensioner-194073

Quote

Angered that he had yet to consummate his six-month-old marriage, a 76-year-old Florida man allegedly shot his new bride in the buttocks, according to police who arrested the septuagenarian for felony domestic violence.

Donald Royce, pictured at right,  was arrested Saturday night after firing a pair of shots at his 62-year-old spouse in the bedroom of the couple’s Lehigh Acres residence. He is being held in the Lee County jail in lieu of $100,000 bail.

During questioning by police, Royce said that he had been arguing with his wife about their sleeping arrangements when he decided to fire into the bed to scare her. But Royce said he missed the mattress, instead striking the victim in the hip and buttocks.

Royce’s wife was transported to Lee Memorial Hospital, where she was treated and later released. A judge has ordered Royce to have no contact with his spouse.

 

[clueliss]

Of course, I clicked on this article from the KC Star thinking - bet it's Florida, got to be a Florida connection.  (Bonus of tourist from Arizona).  

Of course this was in Florida

http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article132293444.html#fmp

Quote

‘In town to party’: Tourist mailed meth to hotel so he could try it on vacation, cops say

 

BY GWEN FILOSA

 

KEY WEST, FLORIDA 

A tourist told Key West police he mailed himself crystal methamphetamine so he could try the drug for the first time while on the tropical island, according to reports.

Robert Bare, 24, of Bullhead City, Ariz., admitted he mailed the package — meth wrapped in dirty socks and paper — to the Inn at Key West “because he was in town to party,” said police spokeswoman Alyson Crean.

On Feb. 8, an employee opened the small box, which was addressed only to the hotel, 3420 N. Roosevelt Blvd., and had a return address with the name Robert Dean Bare, who was not listed as a guest at the time. Hotel management called the police.

When Bare came to pick up the package, an undercover detective posing as a hotel manager handed it over. Bare took the package and was stopped by undercover detectives in the lobby. After a brief struggle, he was taken into custody.

Bare said he has never used methamphetamine before but wanted to try it, police said.

He was arrested on suspicion of possession of methamphetamine, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting arrest, and was released at 3:15 a.m. Friday after posting $19,000 bond.

Gwen Filosa: @KeyWestGwen

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article132293444.html#fmp#storylink=cpy

1

 

[Grimalkin]

On 1/18/2017 at 10:14 AM, Jucifer said:

Trying to catch up...

 

'OCTOBER 5--In a scene deserving of a “Yakety Sax” score, a 350-pound Florida man ran from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but his getaway was compromised when his pants--containing his ID--“fell off as he ran away,” according to cops who yesterday apprehended the suspect, who had a crack pipe stuffed with Brillo buried in his anus at the time of his 3:43 AM arrest.

How’s that for a lede?

According to court complaints, Columbus Henderson fled from a Walmart Supercenter in Fort Lauderdale on September 26 with a pair of 40-inch Hisense televisions. Henderson, seen at right, bolted with the merchandise after he allowed a cashier to scan the $298 items.

As he scooted through the parking lot, the 45-year-old Henderson’s pants “fell off as he ran away,” according to Officer Scott Brandow. It appears that after Henderson’s pants fell to his ankles, he proceeded to run right out of the garment.  Police later determined that Henderson’s abandoned pants contained the suspect’s “medical identification.” Investigators added, “The entire incident was captured on video.”

It took cops about a week to catch up with Henderson, who was nabbed early Tuesday morning for grand theft, a felony.     

Upon arrival at the Pinellas County jail, Henderson informed officers that he had a crack pipe concealed in his anus. “When officers removed him from the vehicle, the defendant had removed the crack pipe from his anus and dropped it on the ground,” a patrolman reported.

The glass pipe was recovered by officers who reported that it was “stuffed” with steel wool and had burn marks on one end (Henderson was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia).'

 

Was telling Mr. J this story:

me:  blah blah blah... Yakety Sax!  Hahaha!

him:  Yakety slacks.

     So does he always keep his crack pipe in his anus, or did he discreetly put it there knowing he was going to be arrested?

      Who needs a handbag when you can just use your anus?

   Gross, sorry

[47of74]

Here's the story John Oliver mentioned about Florida after his piece on Agent Orange...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/02/18/florida-man-wanted-to-make-targets-stock-drop-so-he-hatched-a-bomb-plot-authorities-say/?utm_term=.91212b00b74a

Quote

The officer said that a person who was on probation had been asked to do something by Mark Charles Barnett, a registered sex offender who was on probation for a number of offenses.

Specifically, the court documents state, Barnett had asked the other probationer to “place bombs in ten buildings.”

A. Lee Bentley III, the U.S. attorney for the Middle District of Florida, announced Thursday that Barnett, 48, had been charged with possession of a firearm (destructive device) affecting commerce by a previously convicted felon. Barnett, of Ocala, Fla., faces a maximum of 10 years in federal prison if convicted, according to a news release.

The affidavit in support of the criminal complaint laid out Barnett’s alleged plan, which authorities say was ultimately a plot to force Target’s stock prices to drop so that Barnett could buy cheaper stock. It also explains how the other person on probation — a confidential source whose identity is not revealed in the documents — helped authorities in the investigation.

And like Mr. Oliver said all it would take is a snake on meth to make this story Full On Florida Bingo.

 

 

[LadyCrow1313]

On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 8:58 PM, Grimalkin said:

     So does he always keep his crack pipe in his anus, or did he discreetly put it there knowing he was going to be arrested?

      Who needs a handbag when you can just use your anus?

   Gross, sorry

Were you watching Terence & Philip's "Not Without My Anus"?  

Sorry, my mind immediately went to a naughty place, and that (usually) includes South Park quotes/references.