Nathan (WAS) Courting Ashley (pt. 2)

[actuallyjessica]

Guard your heart is BS. They mean guard your hymen.

Very interesting plot development with Nathan and Ashley! That girl really seems to have rubbed me the wrong way from the second I saw her and I could never put my finger on the exact reason. Hmmmm....

[Casserole]

If not about where to live, my guess would be she has a "missionary's heart" aka wants to spend more time on pray-cations and Nathan isn't about that life. 

They're either building up to a break up or building up to an engagement. THE SUSPENSE. (not really.) 

[actuallyjessica]

What makes me go hmmmm is how physically comfortable and affectionate they were towards each other before they were Officially Courting[emoji769] - it is possible the "communication issue" was that they weren't focusing on communicating as much as they're expected to leading up to an engagement because they were focusing on other things.

I'm really curious to find out what is happening and why!

[erunerune]

I deeply loathe when fundies make non-specific references to "conflict" or "issues" or blessyourheart say that they "don't have PEACE" about some dimension of their lives that they refuse to describe.

Don't they know that I will fill the information vacuum in my head with speculation that is at least 10x more dramatic and/or salacious than whatever is actually going on ?????? Because I will.

If they aren't going to spill any details, they should just shut up about it. I'm currently on Team Manufactured Suspense until I hear otherwise.

[JordynDarby5]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So this whole courtshit bull just goes to show it does NOT guard your heart and it they say physical stuff doesn't get in the way when it very much does. I'll explain....

"Guarding your heart"

i think it actually does just the opposite. I think when you are just casually dating around non fundie style, your heart could be more guarded since you know it's casual and it probably won't lead to marriage. These people are saying I love you before they are even officially courting. If they break it off, their heart WILL be broken. Not kissing changes nothing.

"physical stuff (sex) gets in the way of getting to know each other"

they like to espouse that waiting for marriage means they can focus on getting to know one another better. The first way this is wrong is that they are missing getting to know one another on a sexual level. So technically they don't know each other as well as they could if they had sex. Second, these couples rush into these relationships and to the altar because of the fact that they can't have sex. So wouldn't rushing into marriage mean you don't know your partner as well as you could? 

I'm not saying waiting for marriage or short relationships before marriage are necessarily bad. I'm just saying that these claims these fundies make about courtship being superior because it guards your heart and helps you get to know your future spouse better is complete and total bullshit. 

I agree. Yes, their not having sex but they are trained to believe that courtship lead to marriage. They will court this person and marry them. That there is only one person in the world for them and this person is it. And that God picked this person. But somehow their guarding their hearts. They are allowed to say I love you but that's also guarding their heart.Its crap. Their not guarding hearts, if anything their doing everything to insure if the courtship doesn't work out their son or daughter will be even more devastated then a normal person after a breakup. Do Gil and Kelly really believe that Michaella would have been okay if Brandon decided to end the courtship, that he decided she wasn't the right one for him? Don't forget the Duggars who flew Jill half way around the world and moved Jessa's boyfriend in with them. Would either girl had been okay if Derrick or Ben changed their minds after that?

[theinvisiblegirl]

3 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

Wouldn't they already have discussed this before entering a courtship?  I think the issue is not something like that but more about how their personalities clash and how they go about making decisions.  Just guesses on my part.

Complete speculation, but maybe Ashley just doesn't feel called to be in a submissive relationship? I can see how Nathan would want to be making all the decisions, but it may not fly well with Ashley.

[BeccaGrim]

He said something about her personality. This is why you date and don't court. You discover much faster that you don't like them and you're not practically engaged 

[OrchidBlossom]

6 hours ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

Complete speculation, but maybe Ashley just doesn't feel called to be in a submissive relationship? I can see how Nathan would want to be making all the decisions, but it may not fly well with Ashley.

I mean I don't think Ashley's natural inclination is for the submissive life, from her blog (which is admittedly a few years old I think) but it seemed obvious that she believed she would submit to that life and was "praying" for "peace" from god to accept her fate as a housewife. I would be very surprised, given that her family is (I believe, I know she's done JTTH) ATI/IBLP. But it would be a very pleasant surprise if indeed she did deviate in that way.

[sndral]

Well UP had opposite teases - the comment by Nathan that he could be married by next Christmas (or something like that) and then the dinner conversation @ the restaurant w/ Gill and Kelly about troubles in the relationship.

It could be a clever way to build suspense & it's worked to at least pique the curiosity of even non fans like myself.

Or, when 'I love you day' was filmed in Feb. Nathan and Ashley were going strong but then things fell apart and UP filmed the 'serious conversation w/ Gill/Kelly' at the restaurant more recently & post break up and inserted it into the 'I love you' episode as a way to soften the soon to be announced broken courtship. Kelly's effusive adoration of Ashley post could have been her way of thanking her for playing her part in the lie.

Time will tell.

[Purrl]

On 6/16/2016 at 9:31 PM, justmy2cents said:

Hard to say.  They had a serious talk where Ashley and Nathan admitted that they've had some differences and they're praying about them.  Nathan said they'll take some time to figure things out and to see if they will proceed forward.  Meanwhile heart pieces have been given away in the form of exchanged 'I love yous' and hugs and hand holding.   Becky_m2001 who comments on all their Instagrams is convinced that this means that it's over.  I think they might just be trying to build suspense. We'll know soon enough.  Interesting to note that the person from the 19kidsandloving blog who went to the graduation party said that Ashley was there but she never saw her and Nathan interact, hmm.

I hope it's true that they are using this courtship time to have serious discussions about life and their future together. That's what a "normal" couple would be doing. If this is true, then I might just start to root for them to live a long and happy life together. Sexual attraction can be a great relationship starter, but communication is an even greater relationship builder.

[Purrl]

One more thought - Maybe they are working up to specials or a show featuring Nathan & Ashley as they work through their differences and become a family. I might even watch if they let them be themselves and show us honestly how they are going about building their relationship.

[19 cats and counting]

14 hours ago, sndral said:

Or, when 'I love you day' was filmed in Feb. Nathan and Ashley were going strong but then things fell apart and UP filmed the 'serious conversation w/ Gill/Kelly' at the restaurant more recently & post break up and inserted it into the 'I love you' episode as a way to soften the soon to be announced broken courtship. Kelly's effusive adoration of Ashley post could have been her way of thanking her for playing her part in the lie.

Time will tell.

If things fell apart it has to be within the last month.  Kelly posted pics from Nathan's vacation with Ashley's family Memorial Day weekend.

[picklepizzas]

i think it would be weird for kelly to have posted a pic of ashley and nathan together as the preview for last night's episode, if their courtship really had just ended...

...on the other hand i noticed i can't find a single picture of nathan on ashley's instagram. for people who follow her more closely - is that normal for her, or a more recent development? (side note: scrolling back through her instagram revealed a surprising number of pics with the duggars. apparently she was friends with them long before any courtship with nathan- i've remarked on this before but what a small small world they live in). 

[Suz8710]

@picklepizzas I thought she did at one point have more pictures of him there. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

i think it would be weird for kelly to have posted a pic of ashley and nathan together as the preview for last night's episode, if their courtship really had just ended...

...on the other hand i noticed i can't find a single picture of nathan on ashley's instagram. for people who follow her more closely - is that normal for her, or a more recent development? (side note: scrolling back through her instagram revealed a surprising number of pics with the duggars. apparently she was friends with them long before any courtship with nathan- i've remarked on this before but what a small small world they live in). 

Yes, Ashley's family has been in the ATI/IBLP fold for a long time. That's why I was kind of surprised she hadn't met Nathan earlier than the mission trip. 

[Casserole]

14 hours ago, Suz8710 said:

@picklepizzas I thought she did at one point have more pictures of him there. 

I don't recall Ashley ever having pictures, but her sister always did. He's also usually photographed next to Anastasia over Ashley which led to our speculation that she was who he was courting before the official announcement. I always found it odd. 

I just browsed Ashley's instagram again and noticed she recently had two very close friends from NYC/Long Island move to Big Sandy. I wonder if she'd entertain the idea of living there over TN since she would at least have familiar faces from home? 

[marmalade]

Ashley also traveled back to TN with the Bateses after ATI camp at Big Sandy in April, so we know they were still together then. However, it HAS been two months since with nary a peep from either of them (at least together). Ashley's social media has been strictly family-related, not a Bates in sight. 

[mstee]

I wish they would elaborate on their issues. Ashley came all the way to Tennessee to celebrate their I Love You Day, and held hands with Nathan at that difficult dinner. That's a lot of effort if she's there just to talk about breaking up. I personally have never seen a spark between the two, but I know others have. And they do seem to genuinely care for one another. 

[JMO]

Preview for next week says they decided to be friends, but who knows how edited it was. 

[justmy2cents]

It sounded like they left something out.  Can't be sure til next week's episode.  I know they want us to think that they've broken up but would they really reveal it a week early?

[Casserole]

Nathan was 100% in NYC with the Salyer's for Memorial day one month ago. Isn't the filming timeline of the current episodes only around February/March?

[justmy2cents]

Yes, this would have been filmed around Feb/Mar.  Not likely he would have spent Memorial Day with her family as 'just friends'. UP is trying to crank up the drama I think.

[sunshine]

57 minutes ago, JMO said:

Preview for next week says they decided to be friends, but who knows how edited it was. 

Could you post the link? I can't seem to find it.

[OrchidBlossom]

1 hour ago, sunshine said:

Could you post the link? I can't seem to find it.

I can't find it either, I would also appreciate a link

[MorningMist]

In the live chat tonight they were asked who they thought would be the next to get married and they said Tori or Lawson...Take from that what you will