Lesbian Grows Hair Out and Marries a Guy-Emily Thomes

[Howl]

17 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Her message does not seem at all to be about finding happiness. Basically it's "this sucks a lot but if the bible says I should do it, I have to obey." ...In some ways I respect that kind of honesty and consistency more than the people who plaster on a smile and pretend that they're just deliriously happy contorting their lives to meet the arbitrary standards of an overbearing religious movement. But on the other hand, what a terrible way to live.

I think you've nailed it.  So sad to read, because her current reality seems to be "I don't deserve to be happy and joyful.  I'm too busy crucifying my flesh."  If only she had some insight into how this fits into a Catholic practice of mortifying the flesh.* Some do it physically; she's doing it mentally and emotionally. 

*those with a Catholic background (or foreground) may wish to clarify or correct how this works in contemporary times.  

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

I think you've nailed it.  So sad to read, because her current reality seems to be "I don't deserve to be happy and joyful.  I'm too busy crucifying my flesh."  If only she had some insight into how this fits into a Catholic practice of mortifying the flesh.* Some do it physically; she's doing it mentally and emotionally. 

*those with a Catholic background (or foreground) may wish to clarify or correct how this works in contemporary times.  

Not an expert on that particular topic. I will say, though, that the Catholic church would likely be willing to easily annul the marriage as it appears that on her part it may have been entered into as a way to avoid/control her same-sex attraction. For a marriage to be sacramental, therefore not subject to annulment, both people must enter the marriage for the right reasons. That is not a right reason in the Catholic church. (And, yes, I am aware of the church's position on homosexuality but it still does not advocate straight marriage as a solution). 

[smittykins]

I will give the Catholic Church credit for saying that being gay is not a sin(but I disagree mightily with("but practicing it is").

[louisa05]

3 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I will give the Catholic Church credit for saying that being gay is not a sin(but I disagree mightily with("but practicing it is").

I actually do, too. As do many Catholics I know. And the first part is a change of long held teaching, thus I believe that the church will eventually (at its typical glacial pace on some such issues) evolve on the second part, too. 

[louisa05]

Emily is pontificating on a magazine site: 

http://gospelrelevance.com/2016/07/04/interview-emily-thomes/

 

 

[Rachel333]

There was another interview with her that was posted a few days ago: http://www.deliveredbygrace.com/conversation-emily-thomes/

Here's what she has to say about wives submitting to husbands.

Quote

Submission to one’s husband is God’s design for wives as it’s His design for husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her. Scripture makes it very clear that wives are coheirs with their husband of His grace and that both bear His image and are therefore equal in value and in worth. Contrary to my previously held ideals and those held by so many today, gender has significance. Gender is assigned by God and the roles prescribed to each are as well. As the Creator, God knows how His creations best function and has lovingly provided a system for us in which we can best operate (and be sanctified if you’re like me and meekness doesn’t come at all natural to you) and model His gospel to the world. Like Jesus to His Father, wives are to humbly submit in all things to their husbands. Like Christ to His bride, the church, husbands are to sacrificially love, pursue, and nourish their wives. Before becoming a believer, complementarianism was preposterous. I didn’t understand that it wasn’t because I lacked worth but was instead because I had worth that God intended me as a helpmate to a husband who was to love and provide for me. I feel not belittled but made much of understanding that I’ve been given protection, security, and unconditional love from both the Lord who saved me and the husband He ordained for me.

 

[louisa05]

Bumping this topic for a little bit of an update on my "pet Calvinist". Not sure is all perfect in conversion land. You can see for yourself on her completely public Facebook page (Emily Thomes). 

She has cut her hair off again (though not quite as short as in the original pics posted early in this thread). This earned her a pretty nasty comment on Facebook: "You should grow your hair out, you aren't looking very feminine."  No response to that. 

The cute and colorful little fitted t-shirts and dresses are pretty much gone in the pictures she posts now. Replaced by flannel again, or baggy plain t-shirts and blazers. Lots of neutral colors. She is showing off shoes that the husband has picked out for her which are pretty gender neutral if not a bit masculine. In short, the super girly stuff did not last.

She has quit her job to "train" herself to be a wife and mother. She is apparently providing child care for a nephew and teaching him to sing/recite Calvinist songs and slogans. She continues to preach her reformed theology and make appearances to tell the glories of her conversion to straight marriage. 

On Valentine's Day, she posted this in a message to the husband: "Thank you for your steadfastness despite my often poor attitude."

 

 

[AmericanRose]

So I fell down the rabbit hole of her Facebook, and.... well, she's certainly articulate!

And then I read this interview (http://www.jonahdorris.com/2016/11/12/emily-thomes/) and yeah, I can see many of her friends turning away from her if she sat down with a bible and attempted to discuss their sins with them.

Also, this comment: "Having a sister who is in an open and celebratory lesbian relationship," Why do I have a feeling they just have a relationship they aren't hiding, and that makes it 'celebratory'?

[louisa05]

On 2/19/2017 at 2:13 AM, AmericanRose said:

So I fell down the rabbit hole of her Facebook, and.... well, she's certainly articulate!

And then I read this interview (http://www.jonahdorris.com/2016/11/12/emily-thomes/) and yeah, I can see many of her friends turning away from her if she sat down with a bible and attempted to discuss their sins with them.

Also, this comment: "Having a sister who is in an open and celebratory lesbian relationship," Why do I have a feeling they just have a relationship they aren't hiding, and that makes it 'celebratory'?

I'm sure you are exactly right. 

There is a post from a few days ago that just makes me physically sick. It has a video from The Voice which is apparently the audition story of a young woman who was cut off/disowned by her parents when she came out. Our lovely little self-righteous Calvinist former lesbian basically condemns her to hell and along with anyone who thinks her parents disowning her is wrong. People in the comments suggest that it is not loving or Christian to treat your own child that way and she answers every single comment with one line: "She professes faith still. I believe this may have been the final step in biblical church discipline."  Because apparently if you call it "church discipline", it is not only acceptable, but admirable to refuse to acknowledge your own child; and being treated like you don't exist by your own family will make you "repent". Of course. 

A woman who apparently knows her has completely called her out later in the comments and point blank tells her that she has become hateful and judgmental and calling the behavior "godly" doesn't change what it is. (You go, girl!). Her Calvinist buddies proceeded to condemn that woman to hell and she answers her that "Christians are supposed to" be this way. Reading down the thread, turns out this woman is gay and Christian and she tries to explain to her that she can be both. Emily's having none of it and is quite nasty (while saying "I love you"--that's not how you love people, sweetheart...)

It is pretty disgusting. 

Edited March 2, 2017 by louisa05

[Stormy]

Has anyone ever noticed that ex-gays don't seem to have hobbies? They put all of their energy into maintaining this new, carefully constructed version of themselves that they become engulfed in this persona of endless recitation of scripture and related rhetoric. Being religious, in the modern sense, does not negate having a personality; even the most (presumably straight) conservative Christians are able to be relaxed in both religious and secular contexts, with both "worlds" (so to speak) compatible and capable of complementing one another. Emily Thome is a shell of a person, and it's beginning to show.

[Petrel]

Sigh.  Someone posted on her Facebook that "our daughter has estranged herself from us".  Umm . . . yeah.  I'm sure that's how it is.  

[jerkit]

I know we've had a thread about Emily but I can't find it. This is the young woman who was a lesbian for most of her life until a few years ago when she grew her hair out, married a man, and proclaimed herself straight. She is of the Reformed/Calvinist variety and argues theology with anyone willing to engage her. Rosaria Butterfield appears to be her hero. Emily was on the 700 Club a couple years ago. 

Anyways, she's pregnant. She was pregnant last year but miscarried. Now she's very early in her pregnancy and announcing on her very public FB page. She's also asking for advice on dog training and from the commen thread, I predict she'll be re-homing the dog before this pregnancy is over. 

 

[purjolok84]

I know we've had a thread about Emily but I can't find it. This is the young woman who was a lesbian for most of her life until a few years ago when she grew her hair out, married a man, and proclaimed herself straight. She is of the Reformed/Calvinist variety and argues theology with anyone willing to engage her. Rosaria Butterfield appears to be her hero. Emily was on the 700 Club a couple years ago. 
Anyways, she's pregnant. She was pregnant last year but miscarried. Now she's very early in her pregnancy and announcing on her very public FB page. She's also asking for advice on dog training and from the commen thread, I predict she'll be re-homing the dog before this pregnancy is over. 
 

Reading about Emily reminds me of when I was younger and I used to read all the 'happy' testimonials from ex-gays posted on Exodus and other websites. Full of self-hate, misinformation and misplaced hope that belief in God and long, feminine hair will make someone straight.

This pregnancy is not a good situation - it will be a small child brought up not only with the same hate and misinformation, but the possibility of a rocky family environment. What are the chances that things will stay the same for Emily? And how will that affect her and her child?

[jerkit]

Emily is very typical of a lot of Reformed fundamentalist - emotion is deemed not holy. They are "intellectual" to a fault with little room for compassion or warmth. Being a child in that environment must be awful.

Being a dog in that environment - also awful. For real, guys. She's planning to crate the dog "most of the time" :-/

[DutchMommy]

11 minutes ago, jerkit said:

SNIP

Being a dog in that environment - also awful. For real, guys. She's planning to crate the dog "most of the time" :-/

Why is she getting a dog than? I mean, if you want something in a cage, get a hamster.

[jerkit]

Just now, DutchMommy said:

Why is she getting a dog than? I mean, if you want something in a cage, get a hamster.

She already has the dog but hasn't potty trained it. Because she has morning sickness, she can't clean it up, this crating the dog "most of the time."

[purjolok84]

She already has the dog but hasn't potty trained it. Because she has morning sickness, she can't clean it up, this crating the dog "most of the time."

NO. Fucking no.

[jerkit]

Hey, helpmeets! I totally respect that you want to combine this thread. But can you unarchive it so it shows up in recent threads? And can we change the name to include Emily's name so that we can find it when searching? I would really appreciate it!

 

@Destiny@December @Buzzard

Edited August 8, 2017 by Destiny
tagging some helpmeets / removing a tag

[DutchMommy]

7 minutes ago, jerkit said:

She already has the dog but hasn't potty trained it. Because she has morning sickness, she can't clean it up, this crating the dog "most of the time."

Still no excuse to crate that dog.

When that little baby is here, she will have to take care of it even when she feels sick.
It sucks, I know that (I really do, migraines & kids is a lousy combination), but it is what it is.

She should be positive, and see this as a learning experience; all this cleaning up of pee and poo will prepare her for the baby. /sarcasm

[laPapessaGiovanna]

59 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Hey, helpmeets! I totally respect that you want to combine this thread. But can you unarchive it so it shows up in recent threads? And can we change the name to include Emily's name so that we can find it when searching? I would really appreciate it!

My fault, I didn't notice it was archived when I merged, sorry. 

[jerkit]

Just now, laPapessaGiovanna said:

My fault, I didn't notice it was archived when I merged, sorry. 

No problem, thanks for unarchiving!

[louisa05]

I check up on Emily now and again. The dog was her whole world when they got it, and they've had It plenty long enough to train. Now that she's pregnant again, the dog is suddenly a problem. Deplorable. But she never ceases to be deplorable, so there you go.

She actually blocked me after I commented once to agree with someone else who did not agree with her. And the issue was not religion or sexuality. But I have a second secret Facebook account.

[jerkit]

6 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I check up on Emily now and again. The dog was her whole world when they got it, and they've had It plenty long enough to train. Now that she's pregnant again, the dog is suddenly a problem. Deplorable. But she never ceases to be deplorable, so there you go.

She actually blocked me after I commented once to agree with someone else who did not agree with her. And the issue was not religion or sexuality. But I have a second secret Facebook account.

Like I said, I think Harper the dog will be rehomed and soon

[louisa05]

Like I said, I think Harper the dog will be rehomed and soon [emoji20]

Probably the best thing for the poor thing. Even a dog doesn't deserve to live in a house where all anyone ever does is talk about how sinful and evil we all are.

[EowynW]

Just stepping in as a trainer with 16 + years of personal and competitive experience. Crates are not bad. They are a tool, and a very useful one. They provide a safe spot for the dog on the road and in the home or a variety of reasons. Yea, I would say it sounds like in this situation she's abusing the tool instead of actually training the dog (sigh) but that isn't how most of us use them and they are certainly not evil cages. My dogs often walk into theirs for naps with the doors open. 

Edited August 8, 2017 by EowynW