Lesbian Grows Hair Out and Marries a Guy-Emily Thomes

[louisa05]

11 hours ago, Soulhuntress said:

? That will end well.  It is all online training. Gee that motivates me to go to a "biblical counselor ". Not 

Couldn't find it. I assume it's some kind of certificate, not an actual degree of any kind? 

[AliceInFundyland]

12 hours ago, Soulhuntress said:

? That will end well.  It is all online training. Gee that motivates me to go to a "biblical counselor ". Not 

That and the fact that she seems like a terribly unpleasant person, unhappy in her skin.

[EowynW]

20 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

That and the fact that she seems like a terribly unpleasant person, unhappy in her skin.

She sure does seem more in your face than most of the GCB in her circle. 

[CaseyGrace]

50 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Couldn't find it. I assume it's some kind of certificate, not an actual degree of any kind? 

Based on what I remember from growing up reformed, I think you just take a bunch of classes on a variety of issues (like divorce, family issues,etc) I think the whole idea behind is that secular counseling is ungodly and the Bible is sufficient for mental health. 

[EowynW]

[louisa05]

Found it. It costs $150. There are 23 videos, 35-45 minutes each and the worksheets are downloadable. At the end, you are a certified "biblical counselor" who can "practice" in your church. You can take two additional courses if you wish. And buy a binder that will help you "counsel" people. 

Website: https://biblicalcounselingcenter.org/acbc-overview/?gclid=CjwKCAjw583nBRBwEiwA7MKvoLNGxQt5LaEcj7e5dnQfC-sQdnyFS_v6eDqA4wJO0p71GQOIaYiCWxoCP-sQAvD_BwE

I feel like licensing laws should prohibit these people from calling themselves "counselors" of any sort. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

The "About" page says that their counselors can advise on marital abuse and PTSD, as well as "sexual brokenness" (which I assume is code for conversion therapy, and which I assume is what Emily wants to do). I agree; it seems like there should be a lot of oversight on anyone who advertises that they can help you with something as serious as abuse or PTSD. Instead, it can be all yours for just three easy payments, courtesy of a bunch of people with ministry degrees!

[CaseyGrace]

* Huge Trigger warning for mental illness and suicide mention*

Years ago a man actually committed suicide due to the advice given to him through nouthetic counseling at Grace Community Church in California. Mods please delete if this is wrong to post. it is a very tragic story.  The case is called Nally VS Grace Community Church if anyone wants to look into this more.   

 

[Marmion]

On 4/30/2016 at 5:29 PM, Mercer said:

I don't think there's anything abnormal about a woman who has identified as a lesbian marrying a man, whether it's because she discovered she is actually bisexual or because that particular man is an exception to her usual attraction patterns. Both happen, and are perfectly legitimate.

 

 This part of your post brought to my mind this song .    On the topic of this thread , while I myself do not take issue with homosexuality as such , I do not feel comfortable lecturing Christians as to what they should make of the issue , as it relates to scripture .  I will say though that this website does make a good case in challenging opposition to homosexuality on biblical grounds .  https://www.gaychristian101.com  I think though that each follower of Christ whom is gay or lesbian should follow the dictates of his or her own conscience in how to reconcile his or her sexuality with the spirituality .  But I especially disagree with the idea that one must be obliged to be married in order to be right with God . Even my former Church , the Church of the Nazarene , while holding that the practice of homosexuality to be incompatible with sanctified Christian living , still affirms the validity of purposeful singleness , which I in particular as an asexual can appreciate , at the very least .  http://2017.manual.nazarene.org/paragraph/p31/   And speaking of the Church of the Nazarene , Crystal Lewis is a fairly famous Nazarene , and eventhough she is not a lesbian , as far as I know anyway , and not openly at least , as she'd get disfellowshiped ,  she has had short hair .   So such a style is no indication of sexual orientation , and even women from more so conservative churches might have boyishly short hair , and not necessarily get called out on it , it would seem .

Quote

 

 

Edited June 6, 2019 by Marmion

[nickelodeon]

23 minutes ago, Marmion said:

 But I especially disagree with the idea that one must be obliged to be married in order to be right with God . Even my former Church , the Church of the Nazarene , while holding that the practice of homosexuality to be incompatible with sanctified Christian living , still affirms the validity of purposeful singleness , which I in particular as an asexual can appreciate , at the very least

The issue that arises when fundamentalist evangelical churches make this “loophole” for LGBTQ people is that these churches very much make marriage (read: heterosexual, enduring, monogamous and especially reproductive marriage) central to worship and church life. This is different from Christian traditions that make significant space in worship for celibacy.

Everything from theology (women are created to be wives and mothers!) to recreational events (family fun camps and marriage retreats!) is oriented toward families. In these churches, to bar LGBTQ church members from the family is to signal that they are legibly different, and do not fit into the community. It’s an invisible way to alienate and distance them.

[louisa05]

Emily is learning a lot of very damaging stuff in this program. It's terrifying. She and their other "graduates" are going to hurt people who legitimately need help. Two related posts: 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler

 

Edited July 13, 2019 by louisa05
spoiler tag for screenshots

[SilverBeach]

On 6/5/2019 at 9:29 PM, nickelodeon said:

In these churches, to bar LGBTQ church members from the family is to signal that they are legibly different, and do not fit into the community. It’s an invisible way to alienate and distance them.

Never married people, widowers, and other single adults are also often excluded from church life.  The focus on young married families is real.

And short hair being any indicator of sexuality is such utter bullshit. I am cishet and have  worn my hair short like the very nice picture posted above for thirty years. There are lesbians with long hair.  Such stupidity.

Edited July 13, 2019 by SilverBeach

[Dreadcrumbs]

On 6/5/2019 at 10:29 PM, nickelodeon said:

The issue that arises when fundamentalist evangelical churches make this “loophole” for LGBTQ people is that these churches very much make marriage (read: heterosexual, enduring, monogamous and especially reproductive marriage) central to worship and church life. This is different from Christian traditions that make significant space in worship for celibacy.

Everything from theology (women are created to be wives and mothers!) to recreational events (family fun camps and marriage retreats!) is oriented toward families. In these churches, to bar LGBTQ church members from the family is to signal that they are legibly different, and do not fit into the community. It’s an invisible way to alienate and distance them.

Exactly. Barely tolerating celibate LGBTQ people is way different than making space for celibacy and honoring it as a long standing spiritual practice within Christianity.

15 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Never married people, widowers, and other single adults are also often excluded from church life.  The focus on young married families is real.

And short hair being any indicator of sexuality is such utter bullshit. I am cishet and have  worn my hair short like the very nice picture posted above for thirty years. There are lesbians with long hair.  Such stupidity.

I always get a kick out of short hair being taken as an indicator of sexual orientation. I've probably met more straight women with hair shorter than I prefer mine than lesbians.

How hair is styled might be a better signifier, imo.

Edited July 14, 2019 by Dreadcrumbs
missing word, conciseness

[FluffySnowball]

On 6/1/2019 at 3:28 AM, EowynW said:

She sure does seem more in your face than most of the GCB in her circle. 

I agree with you, @EowynW, and believe it’s a coping mechanism for her. She was (and is) a lesbian who felt forced partly due to fear of God and partly due to social pressure to deny her true identity and live a life that’s not suited to her actual needs. (I don’t include having a child into the list of her damaging choices per se as members of the lgbtq+ community should be at perfect liberty to have children without having to force themselves into a heterosexual relationship.) 

Anyways, back to the coping mechanism of preaching about her life as a gay woman living a heterosexual life: feeling righteous about her decisions and telling people who might be in similar situations they ought to live like her might both allow Emily to find sense and reason in her objectively miserable circumstances and simultaneously give her a feeling of being special. She was divinely chosen to walk down this difficult road in order to educate others. She has accepted the burden God has placed on her shoulders and turned it into a calling.

As I’ve said before, while I feel sorry for her, Emily’s aggressive stance against people who aren’t heterosexual but draw different - and ultimately healthier and more honest - consequences makes me dislike her a lot. 

On 6/3/2019 at 1:30 AM, CaseyGrace said:

* Huge Trigger warning for mental illness and suicide mention*

Years ago a man actually committed suicide due to the advice given to him through nouthetic counseling at Grace Community Church in California. Mods please delete if this is wrong to post. it is a very tragic story.  The case is called Nally VS Grace Community Church if anyone wants to look into this more.   

 

I personally find it increasingly important to share such stories, regardless of how difficult they are to hear / read about. This does not mean that I disregard the notion the discussion of suicide should only happen when people aren’t put into harms way due to their mental health issues! Yet trying to keep such tragic stories “under the rug”, even with the very best of intentions, might allow “counselors” such as Emily Thomes to do even more harm without enough information out there that might warn people likely to trust in their education and judgement. 

[Cleopatra7]

It seems like the general tactic conservative Christians have for LGBT people is to just adhere to gender stereotypes and you’ll be “cured” somehow, or at least make the cishet people around you feel more comfortable. They don’t seem to have any concept that gender identity, gender presentation, and sexual orientation are all separate entities.

[Dreadcrumbs]

4 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

It seems like the general tactic conservative Christians have for LGBT people is to just adhere to gender stereotypes and you’ll be “cured” somehow, or at least make the cishet people around you feel more comfortable. They don’t seem to have any concept that gender identity, gender presentation, and sexual orientation are all separate entities.

And some of those gender stereotypes also tend to be decades out of date.

Hardly anyone bats an eyelash at short hair on women and long hair on men anymore.

[Cleopatra7]

1 hour ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

And some of those gender stereotypes also tend to be decades out of date.

Hardly anyone bats an eyelash at short hair on women and long hair on men anymore.

Yeah, I’ve noticed that in all of the blog entries on the conservative Catholic blogosphere that obsess about “butching up” the priesthood. Such entries show “manly man” priests playing football, hunting, and broing it up (but not in a gay way) with other he man priests, while decrying gay priests or priests who appear effeminate. From what I gather, liking modern music during the mass is enough to suggest that a priest is effeminate or gay, which is very middle school. I think there was even a show on EWTN a few years back about hyper masculine priests, but I don’t remember the name. To all this I just have to say, “Have you people never heard of the bear subculture?” It’s like they’re all stuck in a 1930s conception of what “real men” should be like.

Edited July 14, 2019 by Cleopatra7

[Dreadcrumbs]

Just now, Cleopatra7 said:

Yeah, I’ve noticed that in all of the blog entries on the conservative Catholic blogosphere that obsess about “butching up” the priesthood. Such entries show “manly man” priests playing football, hunting, and broing it up (but not in a gay way) with other he man priests, while decrying gay priests or priests who appear effeminate. From what I gather, liking modern music during the mass is enough to suggest that a priest is effeminate or gay, which is very middle school. I think there was even a show on EWTN a few years back about hyper masculine priests, but I don’t remember the name. To all this I just have to say, “Have you people never heard of the bear subculture?” 

 ? Bears prove that masculine pursuits and broing it up are some of the gayest things ever.

This reminds me: the writer of one of my favorite poems was a Catholic priest.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44400/spring-and-fall

[nickelodeon]

4 hours ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

This reminds me: the writer of one of my favorite poems was a Catholic priest.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44400/spring-and-fall

Hopkins ❤️❤️❤️

He’s a good example of gay men practicing religious celibacy, incidentally.

[Dreadcrumbs]

1 hour ago, nickelodeon said:

Hopkins ❤️❤️❤️

He’s a good example of gay men practicing religious celibacy, incidentally.

Oh, now this isn't something I was aware of. New rabbit hole, yeehaw!

Edited July 14, 2019 by Dreadcrumbs
correction, i meant to say "...was aware of..."

[ViolaSebastian]

The "chemical imbalance" "theory" has been out the window for twenty years. It's well-recognized that clinical depression isn't caused by a "chemical imbalance," but rather a combination of the inability to regulate neurotransmitters effectively or processing them too effectively and environmental causes such as past trauma, current relationship issues, substance use issues, physical illness, genetic factors, etc. and those things interplaying with neurochemicals. Bottom line is, we don't know for sure, but it's extremely complex and it's definitely not just a "chemical imbalance"--ain't nobody saying that. And I won't go into her saying it's "only a theory," because we all took 10th grade science and know the difference between a scientific theory and a hypothesis. #actualmentalhealthprofessional #10thgradebiologywithMr.Schmaltz #themoreyouknow

ETA: Everyone needs to check out the discussion on her post about 17-year-olds not being "underage women" but children. Holy hell. Why are there people like this in the world?

Quote

I don’t disagree with your statement, but I also don’t think a 17-year old is a child...I think the whole *legal* age of adulthood should be abolished. 

The best way they could say is “sex with 10-year olds” or “sex with 16-year olds” I guess.

But I think your point is probably the softening down of pedophilia

Quote

 I understand the point because of the much older man doing horrible, predatory, life ruining things to teenage girls. So in this context I get it.

I think the notion that "under 18 is a child" can be carried to extremes though. If the age gap is reasonable there are exceptions. I have known plenty of college kids that have dated high school kids and the relationship was consensual, non manipulative, etc.

I have heard of a 19 year old military guy falling for a 14 year old girl. Their families approve, they date, they stay true to each other, they get married when she's 17, they have kids and a life together. And marriage in early teens used to be pretty normal.

I think in pushing back against a much older predator like this guy who abused young girls and paid them that we can't swing so far in the other direction that a 20 year old finding a 17 year old attractive is a "sicko"

 

Edited July 14, 2019 by ViolaSebastian

[smittykins]

During my Catholic period, the Rochester diocesan newspaper once featured a photo of a young woman(mid-to-late teens)wearing culottes, taking the offering during Mass.  Predictably, someone wrote a letter, incensed that not only was a GIRL taking the offering, she was wearing shorts! 

[Aine]

On 6/2/2019 at 1:42 PM, louisa05 said:

I feel like licensing laws should prohibit these people from calling themselves "counselors" of any sort. 

We try in the US...we really do. It doesn't apply as much in Australia where you need to at least claim to be evidence-based to get our universal healthcare subsidy. It makes going to a qualified person worth the while financially at least. You pay full ride in Australia for quacks.

 

5 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

The "chemical imbalance" "theory" has been out the window for twenty years. It's well-recognized that clinical depression isn't caused by a "chemical imbalance," but rather a combination of the inability to regulate neurotransmitters effectively or processing them too effectively and environmental causes such as past trauma, current relationship issues, substance use issues, physical illness, genetic factors, etc. and those things interplaying with neurochemicals.

Preach! ?

[louisa05]

@ViolaSebastian The problem with Emily's declaration about "chemical imbalance" being an outdated theory is that it would appear her little "certification" program is using that to say that depression is all the fault of the patient. The ridiculous diagram about not making "responsible choices" is proof of that. No way that she's being taught to consider the complex combination of triggers that you explained in your post. So these "certified counselors" are going to tell people that they are just making bad or wrong choices and need to shape up. I just can't...

@Aine I think that too many in the U.S. manage to stay under the radar and attempt to give mental health advice without proper credentials in spite of the laws. These church counseling operations are a good example. Or there are the woo types claiming to treat mental and physical illnesses without any credentials. My SiL, the yoga teacher with an English lit degree, has at various times advertised herself as a counselor of sorts, ran "support groups" at her yoga studio, and offered seminars on how to cure a variety of serious illnesses with yoga and nutrition (and she has no education about the latter either). And she continually gets away with all of it. 

[nokidsmom]

On 5/31/2019 at 8:35 PM, CaseyGrace said:

Based on what I remember from growing up reformed, I think you just take a bunch of classes on a variety of issues (like divorce, family issues,etc) I think the whole idea behind is that secular counseling is ungodly and the Bible is sufficient for mental health. 

And this is why, years ago, when I was going through a tough time and referred myself for counseling, when asked if I wanted either "christian" counseling or a "secular" counselor, I opted for secular.  Because I did not want to deal with any religious BS in the issues I was dealing with. 

I realize that there can be properly licensed Christian counselors but I didn't want to deal with "praying away anything" or do it the "biblical" way.  I have spoken of my ex-fiance, whom I met at an conservative, evangelical college.   One of the reasons why I called things off, is when I realized he had some serious issues stemming from the death of a parent and abuse in childhood.  He knew he had problems but insisted on praying it away and talking to pastors.  He did not need that, he needed a psychologist / psychiatrist.  But unfortunately he was around people who did not tell him to get "real" help but operated on the idea that God can be a shrink.