Lesbian Grows Hair Out and Marries a Guy-Emily Thomes

[Soulhuntress]

5 hours ago, SusanDelgado said:

What a terribly sad young lady. 

I feel bad for the husband too.  This might sound kind of goofy but the word that comes to mind for Miss Emily is Kardashian: the Reformed Baptist version.  Not sure why and I hope we are all wrong.  She comes across rather Butch to me but what do I know....  

[eveandadam]

1 hour ago, Soulhuntress said:

 She comes across rather Butch to me but what do I know....  

Do you mean Butch or Bitch?

With Butch, judging by her old pictures and her demeanor in general, I think you are absolutely right. So she was not only a lesbian but a gender non-conforming as well, so in the end, not quite a lesbian? huh?

I'm married to a Butch, does that make me not a lesbian? I don't know...

[CyborgKin]

I'll put this out there for comparison: Rosaria Butterfield.  She seems much better at smiling than Emily.

(spoiled because of size: three videos)

Spoiler

 

 

 

[DomWackTroll]

With her new 700 Club haircut, Emily reminds me of a young Holly Hunter in her Broadcast News days. Well, except for the fact that I don't like her. 

 

[jerkit]

Rosaria Butterfield is smug as fuck too though. Her attitude is "I am an academic. I have all the right answers and so does my denomination." She's incredibly irritating. I hate read both of her books.

[Soulhuntress]

22 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Do you mean Butch or Bitch?

With Butch, judging by her old pictures and her demeanor in general, I think you are absolutely right. So she was not only a lesbian but a gender non-conforming as well, so in the end, not quite a lesbian? huh?

I'm married to a Butch, does that make me not a lesbian? I don't know...

Emily does not know what she is (she reminds me of "I'm a Cheerleader" and the poor dear is just kind of confused about who she is (if she is bisexual or whatever more power to her but her videos are kind of heartbreaking).  

Edited August 10, 2017 by Soulhuntress

[eveandadam]

On 8/9/2017 at 8:08 PM, Soulhuntress said:

Emily does not know what she is (she reminds me of "I'm a Cheerleader" and the poor dear is just kind of confused about who she is (if she is bisexual or whatever more power to her but her videos are kind of heartbreaking).  

Jan!!!! I loved her in BIACL.

 

Anyway, Emily reminds me also of another lesbian turned fundie, Jacky Hill (Perry), who had loads of gender issues as well. Ever checked her out?

Edited September 7, 2017 by December
snipping quoted image

[Kailash]

FJ is always broadening my horizons. Now it is seriously making me question my sexual orientation. Which seems rather ridiculous as I am an almost 40 year old woman who has been married to a man for half my life. 

FJ: Wonderful and Strange, always thought provoking.

[Soulhuntress]

21 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Jan!!!! I loved her in BIACL.

 

Anyway, Emily reminds me also of another lesbian turned fundie, Jacky Hill (Perry), who had loads of gender issues as well. Ever checked her out?

Great movie and funny funny funny.  Wow.  Jacky Hill Perry has gender issues allright and she is BFF with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   shudders

[Jug Band Baby]

On 3/5/2017 at 11:18 AM, Petrel said:

Sigh.  Someone posted on her Facebook that "our daughter has estranged herself from us".  Umm . . . yeah.  I'm sure that's how it is.  

Could be true.  If you're gay and your parents keep harping on you about hell, wouldn't you consider or choose estrangement?  I bet that, if the daughter chose it, they don't get that their hateful behavior caused it.

On 8/8/2017 at 4:05 AM, purjolok84 said:

misplaced hope that belief in God and long, feminine hair will make someone straight.

Quote

 

How do I put pics in cuts?

Anyway.  Long hair didn't make Portia de Rossi straight.  Short hair didn't make Julie Andrews gay.  Don't a lot of fundies like Julie Andrews?

[Jug Band Baby]

On 8/8/2017 at 10:53 AM, feministxtian said:

To be honest, it might be why our marriage "works"...while I'm straight, I'm rather masculine in many ways, hobbies, interests, etc. are typically masculine (cars, sports) while he is definitely more feminine in many ways, especially his hobbies and interests (cross-stitch, decorating our home, fashion). So, I guess this is why we "work" well. 

I'd say it's less that, and more that he's not judged with you, and he has an open door to fulfill both parts of his sexuality.  Why would he want to lose this?  He's safe and loved and accepted.  Might now always be easy, but it sounds like he is.  You make me think of a friend of mine whose husband of almost a decade came out as transgender.  She was shocked for a few hours, but accepted this part of him (he is still phasing over to different pronouns, and is using masculine by default until he learns to feel more comfortable being who he is in public, which is when feminine pronouns are used, so I'm using the ones he wants used by default right now), and immediately took him shopping to start finding clothes he enjoys wearing.  Now she's excited since it turns out her husband (who will eventually transition to the word wife) has turned out to be just as much into fashion and frills.  This is all in a couple months.

[Lurky]

4 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

Anyway.  Long hair didn't make Portia de Rossi straight.  Short hair didn't make Julie Andrews gay.  Don't a lot of fundies like Julie Andrews?

Heh, in my experience a lot of LGB women love Julie too, just for... different reasons!  Something Fundies and lesbians can agree on!

 

[Jug Band Baby]

11 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Heh, in my experience a lot of LGB women love Julie too, just for... different reasons!  Something Fundies and lesbians can agree on!

 

She's a goddess among mortals.

[calvinball]

Rosaria Butterfield is smug as fuck too though. Her attitude is "I am an academic. I have all the right answers and so does my denomination." She's incredibly irritating. I hate read both of her books.

Oh god, don't get me started on Rosaria Butterfield. Not sure if I've ranted about her here before, but I'm always up for another round. I have so many issues with her. For one thing, the fact that she identifies as a lesbian (well, a former lesbian) even though in her first (?) book she acknowledged being attracted to guys! But saying that you're a bisexual who happened to marry someone of the opposite sex doesn't sound as profound as saying you're a former lesbian, I guess. Yet another effect of bisexual erasure. 

And yes, I totally agree that she's smug as fuck. I watched one Q&A where someone asked her a question about people who interpret/read the Bible differently than she does wrt homosexuality. Her response was, "Well, as an English professor, I can tell you that that's a bad reading." LMAO WTF? What sort of dumbass "appeal to authority" answer is that?? Never mind the fact that English professors aren't a hivemind, so even if we were to accept her argument as valid, the question remains: what about those professors who disagree with her? Who wins out then? Or does she honestly think that there isn't an English prof out there who'd disagree w/ her interpretation of the Bible re: homosexuality? 

She's a fucking idiot who thinks too highly of her own credentials and I hate her. 

[AlwaysExcited]

This thread makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. Love you, Freejinger. 

[Cleopatra7]

21 hours ago, calvinball said:

And yes, I totally agree that she's smug as fuck. I watched one Q&A where someone asked her a question about people who interpret/read the Bible differently than she does wrt homosexuality. Her response was, "Well, as an English professor, I can tell you that that's a bad reading." LMAO WTF? What sort of dumbass "appeal to authority" answer is that?? Never mind the fact that English professors aren't a hivemind, so even if we were to accept her argument as valid, the question remains: what about those professors who disagree with her? Who wins out then? Or does she honestly think that there isn't an English prof out there who'd disagree w/ her interpretation of the Bible re: homosexuality? 

She's a fucking idiot who thinks too highly of her own credentials and I hate her. 

Also, if she was an English professor, Biblical interpretation/scholarship wouldn't have been part of her job description anyway, unless she studied how the Bible was used as literature in the English-speaking world. Unless Butterfield knows Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Aramaic, etc. and has studied the social and political contexts of Second Temple Judaism, her interpretation holds no more weight than Bill Gothard's. Just because you have a PhD in one field doesn't make you a scholar in every field.

[seraaa]

On 8/13/2017 at 1:35 AM, calvinball said:

the fact that she identifies as a lesbian (well, a former lesbian) even though in her first (?) book she acknowledged being attracted to guys! But saying that you're a bisexual who happened to marry someone of the opposite sex doesn't sound as profound as saying you're a former lesbian, I guess. Yet another effect of bisexual erasure. 

lol, of course.

Trying to forcibly change one's orientation does not work for the vast, vast majority of people, and this whole rhetoric erases, as you say, those who naturally experience attraction to more than one gender. 

[Queen]

I'm a lesbian with long, curly hair and feminine clothes, so I always find it kinda funny irritating when people think you have to look a certain way if you're a lesbian. You don't  

But poor, poor Emily. I feel sorry for her, and angry at the same time. Angry because of the intolerance she and her family are spreading, I watched the 700 club clip, god that was awful! Not just her part, but everything. 

I highly recommend the documentary For the Bible tells me so and the book and movie Prayers for Bobby for those struggling to be Christian/religious and LGBTQ-positive. 

[Hane]

6 hours ago, Queen said:

I'm a lesbian with long, curly hair and feminine clothes, so I always find it kinda funny irritating when people think you have to look a certain way if you're a lesbian. You don't  

As an official Girl With No Gaydar (TM), I cannot tell you how many times I have misread straight women who prefer short hair, no makeup, and androgynous clothes--and lesbians who prefer to look ultra-feminine.

Nowadays, I steer clear of assumptions.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Hane
Clarification.

[purjolok84]

I'm a lesbian with long, curly hair and feminine clothes, so I always find it kinda funny irritating when people think you have to look a certain way if you're a lesbian. You don't [emoji6] 
But poor, poor Emily. I feel sorry for her, and angry at the same time. Angry because of the intolerance she and her family are spreading, I watched the 700 club clip, god that was awful! Not just her part, but everything. 

I'm also a lesbian who enjoys feminine wear (with pockets!) and despite my hair being various lengths throughout my lifetime (from accidentally sitting on long to pixie) I've never been mistaken for anything other than female. People and their stereotypes are just bizzare!

Maybe if Emily hadn't of been so beholden to those particular stereotypes (and of course fundamental Christianity, who am I kidding?) she may have had a better sense of self-worth. I can't imagine all the hatred you would have to have for yourself to live each day being a completely different person to what you actually are, all the while convincing yourself and others that it's a good thing. I'd rather drink poison.

[Rachel333]

I'm tall and don't dress feminine, so despite my long hair and obviously female features, I do get mistaken as a man from time to time. People just aren't thinking about it and automatically say "sir" when they see my height. It's not something that bothers me at all, but people usually realize their mistake immediately and then profusely apologize. They tend to be way more upset about it than I am. 

I don't really know how recognizably lesbian I am--it's hard to evaluate yourself. I don't feel like I am obviously gay, and I do have long hair, but then I also rarely wear makeup, wear comfortable men's shoes, never wear skirts/dresses or anything else frilly, and, I'll admit, my wardrobe does feature a lot of plaid. When I come out I get way more "I knew it," or "That makes a lot of sense" responses than I do "I had no idea!" responses.

Lack of visibility can be frustrating when you're trying to get dates, but I definitely prefer it the rest of the time. I'm sure it's not easy to be a butch woman or an obviously gay man who are assumed to be gay everywhere they go, and can thus face a lot of homophobia that the rest of us can avoid. I definitely consider it a privilege that I am able to come out when I know it's safe and then "pass" as straight around homophobes.* It's not easy constantly moving through the world as a masculine woman, and I admire butch women a lot for that.

*(Not that you can always tell who will be homophobic or not. I went to a Christian college for a while where homosexuality is against the rules but a significant portion of the students are pro-LGBT and want that rule to change. I found out though the hard way that just because someone is very vocal about being pro-trans rights doesn't mean they're okay with gay people. There are a surprising amount of people who are okay with transgender people (as long as those trans people are straight, I'd assume) because they believe it's a medical condition, but still think homosexuality is a sin.)

[helenprev]

8 hours ago, Hane said:

I cannot tell you how many times I have misread straight women who prefer short hair, no makeup, and androgynous clothes

Hehe, that's basically me. I wonder how many people look at me and assume lesbian?

[Queen]

@Rachel333 yeah, I also like the fact that I don't immediately get labeled gay before I even open my mouth. I feel safer that way, although I love being a lesbian! The only frustrating thing is when I want other rainbow people to know I'm one of them and they might not see it since I pass as straight. And people have gotten surprised when I've come out to them. I sometimes wear rainbow attire to give people a hint, and when I talk about my girlfriend, I hope they realize she's my romantic partner, not a platonic female friend.  

[calvinball]

Quote

Lack of visibility can be frustrating when you're trying to get dates, but I definitely prefer it the rest of the time. I'm sure it's not easy to be a butch woman or an obviously gay man who are assumed to be gay everywhere they go, and can thus face a lot of homophobia that the rest of us can avoid. I definitely consider it a privilege that I am able to come out when I know it's safe and then "pass" as straight around homophobes.* It's not easy constantly moving through the world as a masculine woman, and I admire butch women a lot for that.

This. Of course invisibility has its drawbacks, but something I've noticed in both lgbtq (I'm a lesbian) and poc (I'm asian) circles is that sometimes people who are part of more "invisible" groups (e.g. femme lesbians, bi women partnered w/ men, asians*) think that people who are part of more "visible" groups (e.g. butch lesbians, bi women partnered with women, black people) have privilege over them. It's an attitude that really bugs me. I remember that after Obergefell happened, I read this one comment from a bi woman married to a man who complained about how erased she felt from all the celebration in the wake of Obergefell. Note, she wasn't complaining that people were calling her straight (which would obviously be an asshole thing to do and something that a lot of bis unfortunately go through), she just felt alienated/unhappy seeing people celebrating people being able to marry their same-sex partners because she couldn't participate. 

FTR, I'm not particularly femme, but I definitely don't get automatically get read as gay either. (I have long hair but don't wear makeup, I wear women's clothes but they're shirts and jeans, not dresses, etc.) It's sort of the sweet spot for me; I'm not out unless I want to be out, and people don't disbelieve me when I tell them. I sometimes try to dress more "gay" by wearing flannel but since everyone wears flannel now, it doesn't actually do anything lmao. 

* I know it might be weird to speak of a visible racial minority as being invisible, but I mean in terms of attention we get. I know too many Asians who think that black people are more privileged than they are because racial discourse tends to focus on black/white relations. 

People need to realize that visibility is not synonymous with privilege. Generally, visibility often just means that there's a bigger target painted on your back. 

Edited August 15, 2017 by calvinball

[Stormy]

Emily stated a while ago that she's taking a social media break "for a season". I think that may be a good thing. (Has anyone mentioned yet that she's Facebook friends with Ben Seewald?)