Sister Wives 3 - Collective in Crisis?

[Natalie22]

8 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Kody is mad AF. His ego is hurt by Meri's emotional affair (no matter that she said she did not have an affair. She did. I thought the therapist should have corrected this).

All that stuff about the legal marriage not meaning anything is BS. Meri was not the same after the divorce. The catfish helped her feel special again.

I don't think most therapists will point-blank tell you you are wrong.  In my experience they try and help lead you to realize this on your own.  Also, Meri had said the therapist was coming over for the entire day to work with them.  I don't think the 15 minutes we saw is representative of their entire session.  Like I said before, this also seemed like the first time they broached this subject as a group.  Often the first time something comes up, no one delves completely into everything;  it's often a process of looking at different angles at multiple times.  Trying to cover everything in one session would be overwhelming and probably counterproductive.  

[MakeItSo]

5 hours ago, Blueruin said:

[snip]

at the end of the day the sister wives don't have her back because they leave her to toil alone in her own house, and her "husband" gets mad when she makes friends outside of the home (albeit in this case crappy friends).

[snip]

except for Sister Mary Robyn of course who has" been longing for female companionship".

Meri mentioned she felt lonely because she has a grown child and nothing to do and then Sobyn of course quickly goes (paraphrasing) "I feel lonely too because, yes I have all the children (and I'm the newest legit wife <= i added this :P) but I want what you want. You got it better than me you have no kids at home. I feel lonely because I need female companionship" I was thinking, wow! Meri was just completely put to the side without really acknowledging what she just admitted about her own emotions (that she felt lonely)

[2manyKidzzz]

IMHO, polygamy is crazy. But at least as was mentioned above, they do not control the children's education or choices of partners. But it is crazy and has to do with their religious beliefs, which I have never delved into. I do not understand how they have the money to feed everyone and pay for all of those houses.

I am sadly under informed. Ha ha.

[mstee]

@MakeItSo I couldn't make it through the whole episode. Boredom set in. Was Robyn implying that she was jealous that Meri has an empty nest? That's would be odd considering she just seems to keep having babies. But she seems to say anything she can to make a situation about herself so I guess I wouldn't be too surprised. 

[MakeItSo]

@mstee that's what it seemed like to me. She literally said, you have what I want. I found it extremely odd but then again...like I have mentioned many times before she always somehow twists other people's problems and makes it about her. 

[Coconut Flan]

Quote

The Brown parents are able to admit to mistakes and willing to work on their shortcomings

I think this is one of their weak points that most of them don't do this very well.  They have their "counselors" appear on the show, but they don't seem to be making a lot of progress with changing their ways. 

I'm not big into the whole who is better or worse of all the families we talk about.  They all have some bad things going on that are worthy of snark and yet they almost all have a thing or more that they do well. 

[Mercer]

5 hours ago, mstee said:

@MakeItSo I couldn't make it through the whole episode. Boredom set in. Was Robyn implying that she was jealous that Meri has an empty nest? That's would be odd considering she just seems to keep having babies. But she seems to say anything she can to make a situation about herself so I guess I wouldn't be too surprised. 

My impression is that Robyn is so accustomed to responding to other people expressing their problems with "But what about me?" that she doesn't always really pause to think about whether it makes sense before firing the shot.

[SweetLaurel]

I think Kody is a lot like my husband was.  Although he married me as a teenager - I found out later, he really didn't Like teenage girls.  He didn't like their emotions and their issues and their moods.   Grown women have all these THINGS too - and I don't really think Kody Likes the female sex much.  He's flat out said on camera 'I don't know what to do with my daughters, how to bond with them'   and 'if my wives get jealous, well, that is their problem not mine."   Who was he talking to - The Darger or Brady  patriarch?  And when whoever it was  said  something about his wives emotions and he had to care for and deal with them -  Kody seemed really baffled at the concept - "What me?  NO"......  to me that just explained a WHOLE lot about how emotionally stunted they all are.  

[theinvisiblegirl]

At least, in this first episode, they covered the fact that there really is no 'he'. They didn't cover that once in the tell-all. I'd be really interested to know more about the interactions the wives had with Jackie, as she did go to Meri's house at least once.

Not sure if this has been covered at all - I've been off FJ for awhile - What do you think about the fear they all had about the house being bugged? Do you think it's possible that Jackie was able to do something with Meri's phone so she was able to see texts and hear calls she was sending/having with other people?

Edited to change my wording; "how do you feel" wasn't the right way to put things.

[ScreamingIzzy]

28 minutes ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

Not sure if this has been covered at all - I've been off FJ for awhile - but how do you guys feel about the fear they all had about being bugged? Do you think it's possible that Jackie was able to do something with Meri's phone so she was able to see texts and hear calls she was sending/having with other people?

I'm not sure who would care, to be honest. But to quote Truvy in "Steel Magnolias": There are some pretty sick tickets in this town.

[theinvisiblegirl]

3 minutes ago, ScreamingIzzy said:

I'm not sure who would care, to be honest. But to quote Truvy in "Steel Magnolias": There are some pretty sick tickets in this town.

I just edited my post to correct my wording. "Feel" wasn't the right word to use but only just realized it now

Wonderful use of a Steel Magnolias quote!

[Natalie22]

58 minutes ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

At least, in this first episode, they covered the fact that there really is no 'he'. They didn't cover that once in the tell-all. I'd be really interested to know more about the interactions the wives had with Jackie, as she did go to Meri's house at least once.

Not sure if this has been covered at all - I've been off FJ for awhile - What do you think about the fear they all had about the house being bugged? Do you think it's possible that Jackie was able to do something with Meri's phone so she was able to see texts and hear calls she was sending/having with other people?

Edited to change my wording; "how do you feel" wasn't the right way to put things.

I think she thought her place might be bugged because she would tell Jackie something and he would know at the same time or very close to the same time Meri was telling her something and visa versa.  I believe the example she gave was she was on the phone talking to Jackie and then the guy started texting her about the exact things she was telling Jackie at that very moment.  

[Georgiana]

It's pretty easy to gain control of a webcam remotely.  Phones, less so.  

I think Meri's fear of being "bugged" is a pretext to explain how the catfish got some of the very personal information...and also a technologically unsavvy way of trying to express her fear that Jackie may have been recording all of their interactions (very possible).  

One thing that was mentioned, though only briefly, was that Meri asked Kody to no longer come around to her house. So they were in effect separated.  She had left the marriage in all but name.  

[theinvisiblegirl]

14 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

It's pretty easy to gain control of a webcam remotely.  Phones, less so.  

I think Meri's fear of being "bugged" is a pretext to explain how the catfish got some of the very personal information...and also a technologically unsavvy way of trying to express her fear that Jackie may have been recording all of their interactions (very possible).  

One thing that was mentioned, though only briefly, was that Meri asked Kody to no longer come around to her house. So they were in effect separated.  She had left the marriage in all but name.  

I noticed that, too. I wish they had touched on that more... but I'm honestly surprised they left that in at all.

[Imagine20]

There was speculation that Jackie (calling herself Lindsay) may have bugged her house while she was there. Meri apparently let Jackie in her home when Jackie (as Lindsay) said she wanted to invest in the green goo that the Browns sell. I don't know if this was around the Disney meet up or not.  It seems more plausible, as stated above, that Meri got suspicious when she'd be talking to Jackie (as Lindsay) and Sam would know. She didn't realize then that Lindsay and Sam were both Jackie. Maybe that was one of the things that made her realize she was being played. 

If you read the reviews of "Sam's"  first book, "he" comes across as controlling and manipulative. It says a lot about Meri and Kody's relationship that she went along with that. I wonder how Kody really is when the cameras are gone. If we see him on his best behavior, how is he at his worst? 

Sure Meri was having an emotional affair, but she is divorced from Kody and it seems as though, at least at that time, they were living separate lives. She was on the rebound from the divorce and Jackie swooped in and does what she does. 

I find the entire catfish story very creepy for some reason. Maybe because Jackie still insists Sam and Lindsay are real even though evidence proves they doesn't exist.  Maybe because she seems so sociopathic. I don't know what it is. 

[MarblesMom]

3 hours ago, Natalie22 said:

I believe the example she gave was she was on the phone talking to Jackie and then the guy started texting her about the exact things she was telling Jackie at that very moment.

If she was on a landline with Jackie, (who is Sam/Lindsay) and got a text on her cell phone about what they were talking about, it makes sense to me.  Sam/Lindsay texted Meri at the same time.  No bugs required.

[Natalie22]

Just now, MarblesMom said:

If she was on a landline with Jackie, (who is Sam/Lindsay) and got a text on her cell phone about what they were talking about, it makes sense to me.  Sam/Lindsay texted Meri at the same time.  No bugs required.

Well it makes sense since we know that they are the same person; at the time Meri didn't.  If you had someone knowing exactly what you were saying to someone else while you were saying it, you would probably be freaked out.

[Grimalkin]

1 hour ago, Imagine20 said:

 

If you read the reviews of "Sam's"  first book, "he" comes across as controlling and manipulative. It says a lot about Meri and Kody's relationship that she went along with that. I wonder how Kody really is when the cameras are gone. If we see him on his best behavior, how is he at his worst? 

 

         I can only stand to watch bits and pieces of this show. I watch lots of shit reality shows. Over the years the characters become more and more natural, and seem to forget the camera is there at times. Kody has never seems to forget the camera is there. When you consider that he comes off douchy despite that you have to wonder.

        I hope he finds another wife so very much.

[2manyKidzzz]

@Imagine20 I totally agree that it feels very creepy. Because it is. It is indeed hard to imagine why someone (Jackie/Sam/Lindsay) would fee the pathological need to do this. But, many bad things happen in this world as we know it.

I personally felt that Meri's tears in the real/pretend therapy session were very real. She was/is really suffering. And on national TV and all.....but of course for money. Makes me glad to be a real commoner. 

[eandre31]

About the alleged "phone bugging"- there are services that charge a fee and will monitor someone's phone. I think it takes screenshots of anything the person does on his or her phone and sends to the buyer of the software. One of my friends had a very controlling boyfriend that paid over 100 dollars to do this to her phone. This was over 4 years ago though so I don't know if anything like that still exists. 

I imagine that Jackie would be willing to pay the fee for that and she may have been able to get her hands on Meri's phone for a period to enact it.

[CrazyCatLady]

About the alleged "phone bugging"- there are services that charge a fee and will monitor someone's phone. I think it takes screenshots of anything the person does on his or her phone and sends to the buyer of the software. One of my friends had a very controlling boyfriend that paid over 100 dollars to do this to her phone. This was over 4 years ago though so I don't know if anything like that still exists. 

I imagine that Jackie would be willing to pay the fee for that and she may have been able to get her hands on Meri's phone for a period to enact it.

I just read an article about these services. The creeper can gain access to you texts, emails, photos, even listen to you via the phone's speaker. So creepy!

[Soulhuntress]

On 5/10/2016 at 5:25 AM, Pretzel said:

I'm not sure that I understand why people are criticizing so much about these Clowns. 

I get it, their way of doing polygamy just doesn't work out, there's a lot of jealousy among the adults, Kody is a dork at best and a douche at worst and they're all part of a walking freak show. However, they're genuinely likable in comparison to other fundies.

 

Knew an escapee from polygamy years ago.  Polygamy is a scary nasty inbred mess.  The Kingstons, AUB and FLDS are extremely controlling and restrictive.   The only way that Kody and company avoided a lot of issues was timing and being very public (AUB was desperately avoiding any ties with FLDS).  The polygs are as toxic as any ILBP follower or DPIAR follower.

[Cleopatra7]

On 5/10/2016 at 5:25 AM, Pretzel said:

I'm not sure that I understand why people are criticizing so much about these Clowns. 

I get it, their way of doing polygamy just doesn't work out, there's a lot of jealousy among the adults, Kody is a dork at best and a douche at worst and they're all part of a walking freak show. However, they're genuinely likable in comparison to other fundies. @formergothardite will confirm that the Bateseses get cut so much slack, though they supported an alleged sexual offender for years, sent their daughters on journeys with him, Gil is on the BoD, they want to impose their believes on others and cutting other people's basic human rights is their political agenda. Yet, they're oh-so-nice and oh-so-much-better than the Duggars. Sending their brood to clown college makes them fundie heros. Even the Duggars get sympathy when the Browns don't. I assume it has to do with a heterogeneous FJ readership, and different members follow different fundies but the double standards have become significant as of late.

The Browns let their kids grow into adults and support them in making their own decisions. They don't keep them at home until marriage or actively indoctrinate them enough to stunt their critical thinking skills and emotional capacity until they're afraid of everything in life. They go to real, accredited colleges that open up substantial career paths. As far as we know, the Browns haven't beat the crap out of their kids or penalized misconduct with psychologically straining methods. The Brown parents are able to admit to mistakes and willing to work on their shortcomings, even Kody *hairflip*, as douchey as he can be and as annoying as he is to his wives *hairflip*, shows genuine affection and concern and is positively involved in his children's lives. The Brown offspring have been shown arguing or disagreeing with Kody, but there's no fear in their eyes. 

I keep repeating myself all the time and it has become quite a hassle to counteract all the Bateseses and Duggar love fests while trying to come to the Browns' defense. I'll continue doing so, though. After all, the Browns are way less dangerous people. 

As with the Duggars and the Bateses, I get the impression that there is a lot about the Browns and their beliefs that TLC isn't showing us. Unlike the Duggars and the Bateses, who are quite open about their ATI beliefs and stump for Gothard whenever they can, the Browns' beliefs are harder to pin down. The AUB purposely try to keep a low profile, presumably because of the bad reputation polygamy has, and it doesn't seem like they like visitors. This is a description of a visit a complete outsider made to an AUB church:

http://52weeks52churches.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-surreal-visit-to-apostolic-united.html

Quote

I can safely assert that after watching that show Sister Wives and seeing this organization that the show Sister Wives is a very polished, well choreographed show to make this group seem more mainstream and progressive than it is. They are not welcoming to outsiders, in spite of saying so, they still have an isolated, compound feel to them even though they are actively engaged in the world, and they are seeking to convert the entire LDS Church into their dogma and belief. They don't seem to be as progressive as the LDS on things like race. While they use modern technology and dress in modern clothing, they are still very much in the mindset of a different time. Try as they want to look like they are part of the mainstream, their lifestyle and radical beliefs will keep them from being so.

In short, this wasn't Sister Wives, it was another Mormon Fundamentalist group in modern clothing.

(bolding is mine)

 

The Browns seem "better" than the Duggars and the Bateses simply because they aren't trying to "save America" and convert the world to AUBism or whatever they believe now, and seem to allow their children personal freedom. At the same time, we don't know exactly what they Browns are teaching their kids, aside from some vague notions about "modesty," which could mean anything. More than the Duggar and Bates shows, SW focuses on the relationships between the adults, whereas the kids are just kind of "there." Consequently, it is harder to gauge how polygamy affects the kids on a personal level. 

Some questions I would like to have answered about the Sister Wives crew:

1. What are your opinions of black people? Do you think black men should be allowed to have the priesthood?

2. Is a wrong for woman to want to be the only wife in a relationship? Is a monogamous family "less blessed" than a polygamous one?

3. Do you believe in the Adam-God doctrine?

4. Do you believe in blood atonement?

5. How do you view Parley Pratt and the Danites?

6. What are your opinions of the mainstream LDS church?

7. If "family is forever" in the Celestial Kingdom, what are the benefits of having a polygamous household on earth where the wives don't get along, and to have that dysfunction continue in the afterlife?

[Georgiana]

8.  If I am of Native Decent, but my skin normally takes after the Irish side of the family, am I still cursed?  Am I partially cursed?  Am I only cursed when I tan?  

9.  Is my mother more cursed than me?  Does tribal registration impact the severity of our curse?

10.  If my mother LOOKS more Native, but I am more culturally connected to my tribe, who is more cursed?  Is it physical or also spiritual?

11.  Now that genetic analysis and dating of pre-historic bodies from the Americas has proven the Book of Mormon to be completely and utterly factually incorrect about the history of Native American peoples, will this be edited out?

12.  If not, can I tell you that your book is a book of lies and you can go to hell?  What about my non-cursed father?  

[DaisyD]

19 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

The Browns seem "better" than the Duggars and the Bateses simply because they aren't trying to "save America" and convert the world to AUBism or whatever they believe now, and seem to allow their children personal freedom.

I guess, for me, this IS what makes them better than the Duggars et al. I'm a lot less concerned with what someone chooses to believe when they aren't trying to push it off onto the world. People believe all sorts of shit that I think is crazy. I respect their right to believe it, so long as they don't ask/tell me to. They have never referred to their show as a ministry. They said they wanted people to know that polygamy isn't always the Warren Jeffs version of it. I get that. As far as I know they were excommunicated from the AUB. Supposedly for going public. I suspect that it had something to do with the fact that they are much more liberal than the standard AUB membership. The only proof of that that I have is the way their children are turning out, and their interactions with those children. 

I do remember Kody saying that not all members of their church (way back, when they were still part of it) choose to live polygamy. So there's that.

Being better than Duggars isn't exactly high praise for them. I have no idea what their views of race are. I don't excuse any prejudice they may hold. I will say, that if a person is prejudiced, I much prefer that they keep it to themselves. At least that way, they aren't putting it out in the world.