Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 4

[defraudingjezebel]

2 hours ago, princessmahina said:

She definitely used to lighten her hair. I would guess it's out of cheapness (or legitimately not having the money) or time that she doesn't do so any longer. 

It's so weird to look back at pictures of them when they were first married. Erika has the same predatory, uptight grin, but Bob looks legitimately happy. He looks irritable and worn down in most (if not all) the pictures she posts now. Their lifestyle doesn't seem to agree with him.

I hate to say it, but I agree. He has aged quite a bit, which is understandable given the stress of trying to support an 11 person family. Since he owns his own company, he probably works long and hard hours and doesn't really get any time for a break or vacation. He hardly smiles in any candid photos, and his eyes look really tired and listless. Not at all like the wedding photos. 

I wonder if any of the conflict between Erika and Bob has to do with her staying at home rather than working. 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

3 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

Erika is the product of public school. I firmly believe that there is a spelling gene, either you get it or you don't. Spelling just comes intuitively to some people, to others, not so much. Reading more, and practicing spelling lessons can help, but it's not going to cure it. 

The problem with Erika is that she doesn't seem to care. It's one thing to have funny spellings in a text, or a Facebook post. But if you are publishing a blog, you really should take that extra step and turn on spell check. And if spell check doesn't know what you are trying to say, look it up, or find another word.

I agree. My husband is intelligent and very well read, but can't spell worth a darn. So he sends me important emails and such for me to proofread. There's no shame in being a poor speller, but there is shame in subjecting your readers to your laziness and then blowing it off with an "oh, well!" *smug grin*

[Koala]

From her post linked above-

Quote

As Voddie Baucham says, 

Anything with two heads should either be put in a cage and stared at, or killed. *chuckle*

What a fucking shitty thing to say.  No awareness of the world around them at all.

 

[19 cats and counting]

4 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

Erika is the product of public school. I firmly believe that there is a spelling gene, either you get it or you don't. Spelling just comes intuitively to some people, to others, not so much. Reading more, and practicing spelling lessons can help, but it's not going to cure it. 

The problem with Erika is that she doesn't seem to care. It's one thing to have funny spellings in a text, or a Facebook post. But if you are publishing a blog, you really should take that extra step and turn on spell check. And if spell check doesn't know what you are trying to say, look it up, or find another word.

I have a (now terribly neglected but IIRC the site's still up) political blog.  I would run my posts through Microsoft Word before I published them (I often just composed them in it and copied and pasted the text). 

[Chelio93]

I buy expensive conditioner because if I don't you can not get a brush, comb, or pitchfork through my naturally curly hair.  I don't wear makeup because for some reason since I had a hysterectomy every brand makes me break out or makes my eyes swell. It is probably my own damn fault.  When my ob/gyn told me that cervical cancer usually won't return if you don't have a cervix, I didn't consult my chiropractor or the lady at the Clinique counter.

[princessmahina]

2 hours ago, defraudingjezebel said:

I hate to say it, but I agree. He has aged quite a bit, which is understandable given the stress of trying to support an 11 person family. Since he owns his own company, he probably works long and hard hours and doesn't really get any time for a break or vacation. He hardly smiles in any candid photos, and his eyes look really tired and listless. Not at all like the wedding photos. 

I wonder if any of the conflict between Erika and Bob has to do with her staying at home rather than working. 

That's a good point, one I didn't consider. Bob came from a very different life than Erika. Her parents turned fundie when she was a little older, it seems, and his never did. She makes it sound like she nagged him a lot when she started to go more conservative and that he wasn't wholly on board. I have no doubt that he loves his children, but it must be tough to be the sole breadwinner for eleven people in such a constricting lifestyle. It makes me feel a little sorry for him.

[iweartanktops]

4 hours ago, pnwgypsy said:

She really doesn't. Check out the pictures in this post:

http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2011/05/marriage-our-high-priority.html#more

 

That post includes a blanket training reference:

"When we had just a couple of little ones in the beginning we would put out two blankets on the floor, one for each child, and they were taught to play independently on that blanket space while we visited. This skill with children takes some training and practice, which can be done during the morning once or twice a day, and then practiced also during that evening time. We did not allow the children to interrupt our conversation, and they were not being distracted by playing with each other. The children were consciously and subconsciously witnessing our marriage as taking top priority."

I know we're all familiar with the evil that is blanket training, but this still gives me a sick feeling inside. 

3 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

That's a good point, one I didn't consider. Bob came from a very different life than Erika. Her parents turned fundie when she was a little older, it seems, and his never did. She makes it sound like she nagged him a lot when she started to go more conservative and that he wasn't wholly on board. I have no doubt that he loves his children, but it must be tough to be the sole breadwinner for eleven people in such a constricting lifestyle. It makes me feel a little sorry for him.

I've always wondered about this. I feel bad for Bob, too. The weight on his shoulders must be enormous. 

[princessmahina]

You know what's funny? Erika reposted about making marriage her high priority an hour ago. Perfect timing with our Sad-Bob discussion. She's mentioned us before, which makes me think she lurks here and reads the thread about herself (I sure as hell would).

 

Hi, Erika!

[JillyO]

I agree that Erika is probably the one who wears the pants in their relationship, and probably the one who drove them deeper into the fundie crazy.

But dammit, Bob Shupe is a grown-ass man who has fathered 9 children. I'll be damned if I feel sorry for him. HE decided to put up with Erika's crazy, even though he is the one who is ultimately supposed to make all important decisions in their twisted lifestyle. It's the kids I feel sorry for.

[elliha]

I can't say I feel sorry for Bob but I don't think either one of them is truly happy in their marriage. Erika has her issues with control and perhaps OCD  but they are not new but I guess that during times of stress it gets worse and the family is affected by it even more. I think that Bob feels trapped and like he has painted himself into a corner life-style wise and he is longing for a bit more normalcy. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Bob was much more attractive in the old dating photos she has posted. But time and lifestyle has really changed him. I would be depressed with Erika, the revolving door of shih tzus, the scheduled weekends, and the eleventy kids I was responsible for. 

[anjulibai]

11 hours ago, Koala said:

From her post linked above-

What a fucking shitty thing to say.  No awareness of the world around them at all.

 

Whoa, missed that. What was the context of that quote?

I wonder how she and Voddie would react to Abby and Brittany Hensel. 

[helenprev]

That make up article totally read like a sponsored post to me. And I felt so sorry for Karen when she held her name up in the comments to talk about her oily face! Mortifying!

[Koala]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Whoa, missed that. What was the context of that quote?

I wonder how she and Voddie would react to Abby and Brittany Hensel. 

Submission or "having 2 heads", but the comment still struck me as so ignorant and inconsiderate.  Of course, so does pretty much everything else they say.

[Foudeb]

I can't feel sorry for Bob. In their twisted little world the father is the headship and leader of the family. If there's anything he's unhappy with (including the number of kids) literally all he needed to do was to say no. Ditto for sending the kids to school for a normal education.

 

[happy atheist]

18 hours ago, Loveday said:

"Drinking coco from a stirophome cup" would make a great post count title.

Drinking Coco™ From a Stirophome™ Cup is our newest post count title!

[mango_fandango]

In that marriage post, Erika mentions CTBHHM (aka how to be a doormat by Debi Pearl). She adds the disclaimer that she doesn't endorse everything the Pearls say. Hmm....

[Mandysue]

I just read how Erika makes marriage her top priority. *grin*

I think this is an excuse for why they do not do outside activities. Imagine the kids playing t-ball or soccer or even *gasp* doing something that they picked for themselves. She has such control issues that she just can't let it go for her kids. She doesn't want to be inconvenienced.

Do you think she has a BFF? When my mom was sick mine sent me inappropriate texts which made me laugh and she came to mom's funeral (and snuck me some alcohol before it started.) Tomorrow I'm going to sit with her while her grandfather has bypass surgery. These are not things that can be planned out weeks beforehand. 

BFF- My mom is in the ICU. It doesn't look good.

Erika- Oh. I am sorry *tear* but we have something scheduled this week. Do you think she'll still be there next week? *grin* 

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, Mandysue said:

I just read how Erika makes marriage her top priority. *grin*

I think this is an excuse for why they do not do outside activities. Imagine the kids playing t-ball or soccer or even *gasp* doing something that they picked for themselves. She has such control issues that she just can't let it go for her kids. She doesn't want to be inconvenienced.

Do you think she has a BFF? When my mom was sick mine sent me inappropriate texts which made me laugh and she came to mom's funeral (and snuck me some alcohol before it started.) Tomorrow I'm going to sit with her while her grandfather has bypass surgery. These are not things that can be planned out weeks beforehand. 

BFF- My mom is in the ICU. It doesn't look good.

Erika- Oh. I am sorry *tear* but we have something scheduled this week. Do you think she'll still be there next week? *grin* 

Oh, she totally has friends. She's posted pictures of herself out with just the "ladies." I should think at this point, she could ditch the kids in Karen and Melanie's care for an hour or two to go visit a friend. 

[pnwgypsy]

I just read how Erika makes marriage her top priority. *grin*

I think this is an excuse for why they do not do outside activities. Imagine the kids playing t-ball or soccer or even *gasp* doing something that they picked for themselves. She has such control issues that she just can't let it go for her kids. She doesn't want to be inconvenienced.

Do you think she has a BFF? When my mom was sick mine sent me inappropriate texts which made me laugh and she came to mom's funeral (and snuck me some alcohol before it started.) Tomorrow I'm going to sit with her while her grandfather has bypass surgery. These are not things that can be planned out weeks beforehand. 

BFF- My mom is in the ICU. It doesn't look good.

Erika- Oh. I am sorry *tear* but we have something scheduled this week. Do you think she'll still be there next week? *grin* 

I'd bet her mom is her bff.

[iweartanktops]

Erika seems like the type of "bff" who would be very stressful to be around! 

[grandmadugger]

5 hours ago, princessmahina said:

Oh, she totally has friends. She's posted pictures of herself out with just the "ladies." I should think at this point, she could ditch the kids in Karen and Melanie's care for an hour or two to go visit a friend. 

But are they real friends?  I just can't see Erica as the drop everything and run to help a friend in need.  Unless of course it was an opportunity to make herself look better. 

[elliha]

I doubt Erika has many really good friends but I am sure she hosts some gatherings for ladies from church and such. She did get help some friends some of her pregnancies so she can't be completely isolated. 

[FundiesInParis]

7 hours ago, iweartanktops6 said:

Erika seems like the type of "bff" who would be very stressful to be around! 

Erika seems like the type of "bff" that I intentionally avoid the hell out of.

[mango_fandango]

She seems like she'd be like that teacher from Notes on a Scandal, Barbara Covett- desperate for a friend but hyper-controlling and stifling.