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Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 4


keen23

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I saw this browsing Pinterest, and all I could think of was the one post where Erica talked about giving her kids exactly one jellybean.

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@FundiesInParis That's great! Too bad Erika would never be okay with giving kids multiple jelly beans at a time. Plus, then they'd get to choose the color they'd eat and as we (and God) all know, letting kids choose what they eat leads to a life of sin and ungratefulness. 

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It's the first day back to school for Erika's kids and it's...a snow day.

Which, I guess is fine, if she actually gets stuff done but they have so little school scheduled anyway. And it really doesn't reflect why snow days you know, actually freakin' exist. 

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17 minutes ago, Antimony said:

It's the first day back to school for Erika's kids and it's...a snow day.

Which, I guess is fine, if she actually gets stuff done but they have so little school scheduled anyway. And it really doesn't reflect why snow days you know, actually freakin' exist. 

Well at least they are outside having fun, that can't be something that happens every day for them. 

Snow days... Never happens where I live. Not because it doesn't snow, it just doesn't seem to be anything that is too cold or too snowy to get to school. I have walked to school in snow up to my knees and in -44C. Well, the time it was -44 our Spanish test got postponed. My Spanish teacher couldn't get to school, his garage door had frozen so completely to the wall that it would not budge at all. All other classes went on as usual. 

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1 minute ago, elliha said:

Well at least they are outside having fun, that can't be something that happens every day for them. 

Snow days... Never happens where I live. Not because it doesn't snow, it just doesn't seem to be anything that is too cold or too snowy to get to school. I have walked to school in snow up to my knees and in -44C. Well, the time it was -44 our Spanish test got postponed. My Spanish teacher couldn't get to school, his garage door had frozen so completely to the wall that it would not budge at all. All other classes went on as usual. 

I now live in an area of the country that operates in this manner. It's very strange because I grew up where flurries made the road dangerous and people just didn't even go to work. 

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We haven't had snow in Phoenix since I've moved here. 15+ years now. My kids did have school cancelled one day last year or 2014, when it rained too much in a short period of time and all the roads flooded just in time for school busses to be unable to pass safely. I expect even a light flurry here would put people into full on panic mode and NO ONE would be able to leave their homes for fear of death on the roads.

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Karen looks like she's really close to Bob. I wonder if that bothers Erika. I can see her wanting to have all the girls' "hearts" and let Bob keep the boys.

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1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

Karen looks like she's really close to Bob. I wonder if that bothers Erika. I can see her wanting to have all the girls' "hearts" and let Bob keep the boys.

They do look very close. I think this is because Erika is the enforcer while Bob just goes with the flow. I've long suspected that Bob lets Erika run the show, making her the bad guy when it comes to punishment and consequences. 

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45 minutes ago, defraudingjezebel said:

They do look very close. I think this is because Erika is the enforcer while Bob just goes with the flow. I've long suspected that Bob lets Erika run the show, making her the bad guy when it comes to punishment and consequences. 

I think in most things Bob does just go with the flow, but he also has a hand in enforcing and punishment- 

"This almost always helps them go to sleep.  If not, then daddy has to go down to use some parental authority to help "motivate" them to control themselves and stop talking.  *chuckle*  *wink*"

http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2012/10/siblings-sharing-bedrooms-you-have-how.html

 

After looking in the comments of that particular blog post, I found where Erika recommends "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp. According to one of the reviews, "There are two major flaws in the book, in my opinion. The first is the lack of control that the author gives a child over his own life . Up until the teenage years, parents are urged to make all decisions and to assert authority simply to teach a child submission. Tripp maintains that "when we allow our children to become independent decision makers we give them a false idea of liberty and a mistaken notion of freedom." Even in things as trivial as what to eat for breakfast, Tripp urges parents not to allow children the ability to choose. To the opposition that children must learn to make sound decisions by making them under their parent's guidance, he replies that children learn to make good decisions by merely observing their parents doing so on their behalf." 

Erika is obviously a fan. :pb_rollseyes:

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@princessmahina

Wow, that sounds like a terrible book! Children often begin to develop the desire to gain some autonomy before they reach a year old! It's quite abusive, in my opinion, to attempt to prevent it. This makes me rage. 

I'd like to make every single decision for Erika for a week. :dance:

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This thread has me re-thinking all the things I do for my 5 yo foster placement :) He really is capable, buts he's so gosh darn cute I want to baby the hell out of him!

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23 minutes ago, iheartchacos said:

This thread has me re-thinking all the things I do for my 5 yo foster placement :) He really is capable, buts he's so gosh darn cute I want to baby the hell out of him!

How sweet! I'm sure you're coming from a loving place (that he likely very much needs) and I doubt you're crippling him as Erika is, her children. 

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23 minutes ago, iheartchacos said: This thread has me re-thinking all the things I do for my 5 yo foster placement [emoji4] He really is capable, buts he's so gosh darn cute I want to baby the hell out of him!

How sweet! I'm sure you're coming from a loving place (that he likely very much needs) and I doubt you're crippling him as Erika is, her children. 

And he is sure to remind me, 'I CAN DO IT!'

I usually bathe him and wash his hair, but I don't 'supervise' his play in the bathtub. And I don't supervise his teeth brushing...I do pick a few days out of the week to do it myself. I can't imagine hovering over a 5 yo like that...let alone a 9 yo I'd raised since birth.

But I also send him to school, and let him watch TV, and don't lock the bathroom door...or my door, and ask him what he wants to eat, and listen to him, and treat him like a person....etc, etc, etc.

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1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

I think in most things Bob does just go with the flow, but he also has a hand in enforcing and punishment- 

"This almost always helps them go to sleep.  If not, then daddy has to go down to use some parental authority to help "motivate" them to control themselves and stop talking.  *chuckle*  *wink*"

http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2012/10/siblings-sharing-bedrooms-you-have-how.html

 

After looking in the comments of that particular blog post, I found where Erika recommends "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp. According to one of the reviews, "There are two major flaws in the book, in my opinion. The first is the lack of control that the author gives a child over his own life . Up until the teenage years, parents are urged to make all decisions and to assert authority simply to teach a child submission. Tripp maintains that "when we allow our children to become independent decision makers we give them a false idea of liberty and a mistaken notion of freedom." Even in things as trivial as what to eat for breakfast, Tripp urges parents not to allow children the ability to choose. To the opposition that children must learn to make sound decisions by making them under their parent's guidance, he replies that children learn to make good decisions by merely observing their parents doing so on their behalf." 

Erika is obviously a fan. :pb_rollseyes:

My fundie family did this and it would blow my mind. And they did it until they started attending college! 

Me: do you guys want something to drink?

them: all snap around to look at their mother, she gives some signal that I can't see, they snap back around "no"

it was absolutely bonkers, a whole group of teenagers that can't decide on their own if they are hungry or thirsty. I wonder how many times she forgot to tell them they were allowed to eat

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4 minutes ago, Mrsaztx said:

My fundie family did this and it would blow my mind. And they did it until they started attending college! 

Me: do you guys want something to drink?

them: all snap around to look at their mother, she gives some signal that I can't see, they snap back around "no"

it was absolutely bonkers, a whole group of teenagers that can't decide on their own if they are hungry or thirsty. I wonder how many times she forgot to tell them they were allowed to eat

At least it sounds like they had the chance to attend college! Must have been a brave new world to step into after being raised like that. 

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I can't imagine growing up like that then going to college. The college cafeteria alone would be terrifying- so many choices!

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Well the family had to move to be closer to the university so they didn't have to live outside of the home, and their mother was still pretty far up their asses. I can recall her telling us who all their professors were and who those professors had "studied under". Meanwhile I'm thinking "I don't even know my professor's names, or half the time the name of the class if its just some nonsense gen-ed"

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24 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

I can't imagine growing up like that then going to college. The college cafeteria alone would be terrifying- so many choices!

Luckily, the Shupe kids don't have to worry about that because they aren't allowed to go to college *rye smile* :my_confused:

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I mentioned in the last thread that the eldest five have seen the latest Star Wars film. From comments Erika's made, I think they might have seen the other films (or, at least, the original trilogy aka 4, 5, 6) since she said "of course we do have, as with other Star Wars movies"... so maybe they've seen the others? Or at least Erika has. 

And I'm not surprised about the no independent choice making thing. Erika's said before about how she anticipates that the oldest kids will be about 18 when they can make their own schedules. Erika's all like "they choose to get up at 6am!!" (woo, how big of you) and when they were really young she even scheduled the toddlers (one hour alone in bedroom, one hour at the table/in a high chair) etc. Ugh, this woman. 

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12 hours ago, Antimony said:

It's the first day back to school for Erika's kids and it's...a snow day.

Which, I guess is fine, if she actually gets stuff done but they have so little school scheduled anyway. And it really doesn't reflect why snow days you know, actually freakin' exist. 

While I agree that they don't seem to be doing nearly enough school work as is, I am still glad they had a snow day. Like I've said before, these kids don't get NEARLY enough fresh air, sunshine or exercise. So I'm just glad that they got to be outside and play before, you know, next May or June whentheir yard is finally deemed dry enough to play in. :kitty-shifty:

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These kids must feel so confined. I looked up the size of their house* and yard. I know we've been over this before but 2007 sq feet (1028 above grade sq feet, 477 finished basement "the downstairs", and 502 garage space, aka "the closet") just isn't a lot for that big a family. Also, their entire lot is only .13 acres. That is plenty of space for a few kids but....

 

Side note: records mention they have 2 full baths and a 1/2 bath. Has she ever mentioned the half bath on the blog? I really can't remember.

 

*I hope this isn't a rule violation. I know the rules say " Posting private, identifying information about an individual, including addresses and phone numbers that are not available via public resources (ie court documents, news articles) " but I didn't give their address. And although their address is public record I think I'd be pissed if someone gave out mine.

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29 minutes ago, katieshoward said:

These kids must feel so confined. I looked up the size of their house* and yard. I know we've been over this before but 2007 sq feet (1028 above grade sq feet, 477 finished basement "the downstairs", and 502 garage space, aka "the closet") just isn't a lot for that big a family. Also, their entire lot is only .13 acres. That is plenty of space for a few kids but....

 

Side note: records mention they have 2 full baths and a 1/2 bath. Has she ever mentioned the half bath on the blog? I really can't remember.

 

*I hope this isn't a rule violation. I know the rules say " Posting private, identifying information about an individual, including addresses and phone numbers that are not available via public resources (ie court documents, news articles) " but I didn't give their address. And although their address is public record I think I'd be pissed if someone gave out mine.

I don't think it's a rule violation because people have done the same thing with Priss and Pecan's house in Texas as well as the assorted Duggar households. 

I'm pretty sure the house is three full baths. If you look at the floorplan, I don't see a half bath.

http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2011/04/large-families-on-purpose-our-home.html

And they're not confined! *chuckle* It only looks that way because she keeps 9 young people cooped up in a small house for most/all of the day, frequently shut alone into one small room, in a play area, or in a chair. Oh wait....

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1 hour ago, katieshoward said:

These kids must feel so confined. 

Seriously, it's like you didn't even notice all the room the girls have in their bedroom.  It's perfect for 5 growing girls.  And don't forget how The Lord told Erika to turn a coat closet into a pantry.  There's plenty of room, yup nothing but room...:my_confused:

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I hadn't looked the floor plan before, I didn't realize it was a split level. So it has the same basic layout as the Rodriguez home, only in that house they had kids in the unfinished basement area, and were using all the bedrooms as bedrooms, rather than a school room. I do think the Rodriguez house is bigger square footage.

I also hadn't seen the updated kids bedrooms with the triple bunks. Wow, can you imagine sleeping on the bottom most bunk closed in like that? And at night when they are in bed, there is also a trundle in front of it! How does that kid even get out of bed to use the potty in the night? I do have 4 kids in a room together but it is a huge master bedroom (600sqft, including 2 closets and bath). Dh and I have the smallest bedroom, it was our decision to move to this house, and we felt we were the ones to make the sacrifice needed to make it work. It has worked out great, the kids do far more in their bedrooms than I do.

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