Win a Russian Mail Order Bride!

[Maul the Koala]

A radio station here in Alberta is having a contest where you can be like all the other cool kids and win a Russian mail order bride!.

 

The Alberta Immigration Minister called the contest in poor taste saying

 

 

Quote

"In some parts of the world where women make themselves available to be Internet brides or through international dating agencies . . . they very seldom have that choice. They are either coerced into that position by despairing economic circumstances or they are coaxed into it by illegal elements,"

 

 

Some people have been saying that this is no worse than the Bachelor/ette. And you aren't exactly guaranteed a Russian mail order bride anyway so the point is moot.

 

So what say you FJers?

[fundiefan]

I'd put myself in the mail for a hot, young Russian. If there are any that want a middle-aged American wife, that is.

[GeoBQn]

I'm surprised that the courtship crowd hasn't resorted to mail order brides. It pretty much guarantees no physical contact before the wedding, no nearby family to sway her affections, and the language barrier ensures that she will submit to you and no one else. Years of brainwashing could encourage her to convert to a dominionist brand of Christianity.

[margiebargie]

Ewww. Gross. People are not things you win in a contest.

I know a guy who's currently...uh...bride shopping in the Ukraine. I asked him where all the Russian men are. He said a lot of them die young because they're required to work at Chernobyl. Not sure if that's true or not. It's pretty horrible if it is.

[Clementine]

Ewww. Gross. People are not things you win in a contest.

I know a guy who's currently...uh...bride shopping in the Ukraine. I asked him where all the Russian men are. He said a lot of them die young because they're required to work at Chernobyl. Not sure if that's true or not. It's pretty horrible if it is.

And a lot of the men in former USSR are alcoholics plus the standard of living is very poor. I saw a documentary about Russian mail order brides and they more or less said that a "good husband" is someone who isn't alcoholic, leaves the family or beats the wife. It sounded pretty awful.

I think the whole mail order bride thing is pretty sad, but it's a much better option than being tricked into working as a "barmaid" in Europe, only to end up a victim to human traffickers and sold to a brothel. Most prostitutes here come from poor countries in Eastern Europe.

[keen23]

I worked for three months for a guy who had a mail order bride from Korea! She had been in the country and married to him for 4 or 5 years when I was working for him, and they had just had their first child. She was 15 years or so younger than my boss. I felt bad for her, mostly because this guy was a complete a-hole with a cocaine problem.

[Maul the Koala]

I'm surprised that the courtship crowd hasn't resorted to mail order brides. It pretty much guarantees no physical contact before the wedding, no nearby family to sway her affections, and the language barrier ensures that she will submit to you and no one else. Years of brainwashing could encourage her to convert to a dominionist brand of Christianity.

I've heard that this is an issue with the LDS missionaries in Russia. The girls knew that there were young North American men there, so some would convert to the LDS church in order to try and land one of the missionaries.

And a lot of the men in former USSR are alcoholics plus the standard of living is very poor. I saw a documentary about Russian mail order brides and they more or less said that a "good husband" is someone who isn't alcoholic, leaves the family or beats the wife. It sounded pretty awful.

I think the whole mail order bride thing is pretty sad, but it's a much better option than being tricked into working as a "barmaid" in Europe, only to end up a victim to human traffickers and sold to a brothel. Most prostitutes here come from poor countries in Eastern Europe.

The rates of alcoholism are extremely high in Russia. The conscription thing really sets off a lot of men too in regards to alcohol and drug abuse. A lot of the males would try and escape army time by going to school. The more schooling you got, the better the job you'd get in the army. If you were one of the ones that barely finished high school, off to the front lines in Chechnya you go for 2 years. If you got your PhD, maybe 6, 7 months at a cushy job in the office. But basically unless you had that cushy office job, the years in the army are absolute hell.

I've spent a lot of time in Eastern Europe and a lot of the women sincerely believe that western men are the richest of the rich. That they have nice big houses, fancy Porsches and so much disposable income it'd make your head spin. It's really sad. Mind you they do exert control over their circumstances more as a 'mail-order bride'. I have one friend who was almost duped until the absolute last minute when the girl decided to go for love rather than the green card. Other people spend all their money to bring the woman over, and then the woman will walk away as soon as she can.

The objectification of women in this way, especially women in extreme economic distress, makes me very uncomfortable.

[Lainey]

Oh goody! I want one. In exchange for cleaning my house and cooking dinner, she can live here and do whatever else she damn well pleases. :P

Seriously, though...I'm embarrassed, yet again, for my province. It's such a beautiful province...how did it acquire all these whackadoodles?

[dirtyhippiegirl]

I'm surprised that the courtship crowd hasn't resorted to mail order brides. It pretty much guarantees no physical contact before the wedding, no nearby family to sway her affections, and the language barrier ensures that she will submit to you and no one else. Years of brainwashing could encourage her to convert to a dominionist brand of Christianity.

Probably because the process is very expensive. I guess fundie royalty could probably pull it off. But you have to meet once in person -- so that's a flight to wherever since these girls generally can't get visitor visas here. In some consulates, it's basically a necessity that you meet several times before you file. Plus, if you go through an agency, you have all the accumulated agency fees. And the wining/dining the woman while you're there with her. And the flight to take the woman to the US. And THEN you get to visa fees. I could easily see dropping $10,000-$15,000 to get a ten year green card for a woman that may or may not stay with you once she has that green card in hand. (And can actually ditch you beforehand if she files a complaint that you were abusing her.)

[bicyclecat]

Again? This was done by a radio station in New Zealand a while back. It was stupid then and it's stupid now.

I have no doubt that these guys will find plenty of interested Russian/ Ukrainian women. I just hope they understand exactly what kind of baggage comes with her.

Edited because sentence steucture is not my friend today.

[Guest Anonymous]

This is sad...my hubby is of Ukrainian stock and occasionally a distant relative will offer a daughter for "domestic service"....this is prostitution.....

[Clementine]

I've spent a lot of time in Eastern Europe and a lot of the women sincerely believe that western men are the richest of the rich. That they have nice big houses, fancy Porsches and so much disposable income it'd make your head spin. It's really sad. Mind you they do exert control over their circumstances more as a 'mail-order bride'. I have one friend who was almost duped until the absolute last minute when the girl decided to go for love rather than the green card. Other people spend all their money to bring the woman over, and then the woman will walk away as soon as she can.

The objectification of women in this way, especially women in extreme economic distress, makes me very uncomfortable.

It's not like it's the rich guys who have to import a bride from abroad. Most men who bring home Russian girlfriends or girlfriends from Thailand live in the rural areas of Sweden or the forest areas and have jobs with low salaries. I can't imagine what life is for the women who come here without any money and without speaking the language and then get stuck in some small village in the middle of nowhere.

[margiebargie]

I know a couple of guys who've gone (or are going) the mail-order bride route. They are definitely not rich. They're decent people but have issues that get in the way of normal relationships. This bride thing just seems to be a way to avoid dealing with those issues. They want someone who's not in a position to strongly object to excessive drinking, for example.

There's a third, who I don't know personally, who's m-o-b took off once she got her green card. I can't say I blame the m-o-b's. They are often born into dire circumstances and don't have many options.

I'm not totally opposed to the m-o-b thing. I think it can work. At the very least, some very poor women get a shot at a better life. It's just that "winning" a bride in a contest is a yucky concept.

[Austin]

Lisa Ling did a piece on mail order brides on her show on OWN awhile back and it was pretty interesting. One thing I definitely remember several of the men she interviewed say was along the lines of "American women are too forward, too independent" and they wanted a woman who was more pliable and didn't want independence. It sounded to me like they wanted someone either 1) they could boss around, or 2) who would not ask or prod their personality. . .uh. . . deficits. It seemed like they wanted a woman who would put up with their bullshit and not say a peep.

Kind of like fundies.

None of the men in Ling's piece would remotely qualify as a "catch", IMO. :roll:

[Guest Anonymous]

*looks around house that's a huge mess*

Where do I sign up? I could have a russian "sister wife" :lol:

In reality , I think its pretty gross. Poor women feeling they have to marry someone they don't know who since he's resorted to mail order brides is probably a collossal jackass of the highest order.

[margiebargie]

Lisa Ling did a piece on mail order brides on her show on OWN awhile back and it was pretty interesting. One thing I definitely remember several of the men she interviewed say was along the lines of "American women are too forward, too independent" and they wanted a woman who was more pliable and didn't want independence. It sounded to me like they wanted someone either 1) they could boss around, or 2) who would not ask or prod their personality. . .uh. . . deficits. It seemed like they wanted a woman who would put up with their bullshit and not say a peep.

Kind of like fundies.

None of the men in Ling's piece would remotely qualify as a "catch", IMO. :roll:

The bolded part definitely fits in with my own field observations. As for American women being too independent, I know that some of these guys get a lot more than they bargained for with the m-o-b's. :lol:

[Maul the Koala]

It's not like it's the rich guys who have to import a bride from abroad. Most men who bring home Russian girlfriends or girlfriends from Thailand live in the rural areas of Sweden or the forest areas and have jobs with low salaries. I can't imagine what life is for the women who come here without any money and without speaking the language and then get stuck in some small village in the middle of nowhere.

It's rarely the rich of the richest guys. My friend that almost got duped had 30 000 in student debt, most definitely did not drive a car let alone a fancy one and rented a small apartment. It's generally the perception though. I heard it enough from the Russian girls. And of course they're going to perceive the foreigners they come across as rich. Except in Moscow, a US dollar goes really far. I brought back a whole bunch of matryoshki dolls from Russia. I paid 16 dollars CDN for one with 16 dolls and I got ripped off because I didn't want to bargain. A bottle of GOOD vodka was less than 4 dollars. This was in a small city though. It's a very cheap standard of living. Of course when they see foreigners throwing their money around, yeah they get the impression we're kind of sort of rich even if we're not.

[Avalondaughter]

Anyone hear of Natasha and Weston Rogers? Years ago they were willing to be interviewed by Glamour magazine. She was a mail-order bride. I don't know if they're still together, but they started a support group for people who want to do this, helping folks get through immigration, etc, as well as help women adjust to their new lives.

The bride was divorced from an abusive husband, although fairly young and quite pretty. She was not without baggage, and early on said it was going to be hard to learn to truly love and trust her husband. She was quite happy with how he was willing to spoil her though.

My uncle has a MOB from the Phillippines. When he was in his early 60s, divorced for over 30 years with no kids, he suddenly decided he wanted to have a wife and kids. He was 62 and his wife was 22. He doesn't have much money, although I suppose his lifestyle is relatively luxurious compared to what she came from. She is an educated woman, never married, and generally into the things young women are into (music, clothes, entertainment, etc.). I don't know how much in common they really have. They have a kid. They seem happy. She's going back to school to become a nurse. I don't know how it will go in the long run. It will be hard to run since she has a kid.