Josh Duggar Part 9: Adult Film Star Lawsuits are so Godly

[gustava]

I will only be happy about this ceremony if it is a 'vow removal' instead of a vow renewal, with Anna gaining financial support and custody of the kids. If they got a TV special for it i would love to see Anna tell Josh off and ditch his sorry ass at the altar.

[AmazonGrace]

@sawasdee, why didn't you just stuff that turkey in the luggage bay of the bus?  A Bible as a tip.  Like, they're really, really rare and hard to get in the UK or something.  Any religious scholars here, aren't there a whole lotta verses in both Jewish and Christian scriptures concerning just and fair treatment of workers?

It's so stupid,  and counterproductive... As if anyone is going to be persuaded that those Christians must have understood the real meaning of love and life, because they're such cheapskates that they stiff people on well deserved tips...

[nastyhobbitses]

I will only be happy about this ceremony if it is a 'vow removal' instead of a vow renewal, with Anna gaining financial support and custody of the kids. If they got a TV special for it i would love to see Anna tell Josh off and ditch his sorry ass at the altar.

I'd love for this to go down:

Anna says "yes, let's renew our vows and go back to how things were before you sinned". Gets her own Anna Says Yes To the Dress special, where she picks out a Kate Middleton-esque Modern Modest princess wedding dress (inevitably much prettier than her original satin t-shirt on top of a ball skirt). Sierra will plan a vow renewal that looks like Pinterest projectile vomited on a concrete megachurch. The girls will get lacy bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and Michelle and Jim Bob will have insipid talking heads about how exciting and neat and new season of life that all of this is.

The big day comes. Anna's hair is in all of its Gothardite sausage curl glory. Jana is smiling through clenched teeth as she tries to prevent Meredith from pulling off the headband that obscures her entire face with a chiffon flower. Josh gets another sex talk from Jim Bob to the effect of "don't cheat on your wife, that's bad". Jill, pregnant again and back from Central America, has brought along a "precious friend" from Antigua whom everyone will act awkwardly racist towards. The Bateses are there to keep cockteasing us about courtships with unmarried Duggar kids.

Anna walks down the aisle as Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party. Anna approaches Josh, he pulls up her veil.....and she reveals divorce papers rolled into a neat little scroll as her bouquet holder. She unfurls the papers, practically throws them at him, gives him the finger, scoops up her kids, and peels out of the church parking lot (after upending the table holding the now-melting root beer floats) in a waiting getaway car. 

[Bad Wolf]

Nice. Not gonna happen, but we can dream.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I'd love for this to go down:

Anna says "yes, let's renew our vows and go back to how things were before you sinned". Gets her own Anna Says Yes To the Dress special, where she picks out a Kate Middleton-esque Modern Modest princess wedding dress (inevitably much prettier than her original satin t-shirt on top of a ball skirt). Sierra will plan a vow renewal that looks like Pinterest projectile vomited on a concrete megachurch. The girls will get lacy bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and Michelle and Jim Bob will have insipid talking heads about how exciting and neat and new season of life that all of this is.

The big day comes. Anna's hair is in all of its Gothardite sausage curl glory. Jana is smiling through clenched teeth as she tries to prevent Meredith from pulling off the headband that obscures her entire face with a chiffon flower. Josh gets another sex talk from Jim Bob to the effect of "don't cheat on your wife, that's bad". Jill, pregnant again and back from Central America, has brought along a "precious friend" from Antigua whom everyone will act awkwardly racist towards. The Bateses are there to keep cockteasing us about courtships with unmarried Duggar kids.

Anna walks down the aisle as Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party. Anna approaches Josh, he pulls up her veil.....and she reveals divorce papers rolled into a neat little scroll as her bouquet holder. She unfurls the papers, practically throws them at him, gives him the finger, scoops up her kids, and peels out of the church parking lot (after upending the table holding the now-melting root beer floats) in a waiting getaway car. 

Yessss!!

As Anna Peels out of the church with the kids, Handel's Messiah starts playing over the loudspeaker.

Later Anna returns to reality TV with a series of specials following her adjustment to single motherhood in the secular world, getting a job, maybe even dating. Jana spends lots of time with Anna during these specials and eventually discovers her own independence.

[samira_catlover]

@zebra#13, @jesuscampsongs,

I climbed Pendle Hill more than once, visited the Swarthmoor Meeting House and Hall, and visited many Friends related sites in York, East Anglia and London. We have Friends to thank for the foundation of most of our chocolate companies, which gave us a reason to visit Cadbury World() and the model housing which accompanied the chocolate factory.They also established Penal Reform in this country, so a visit to Elizabeth Fry's home near Norwich.. Fascinating touring, off the usual track of Shakespeare, Stonehenge, and yet another cathedral!

You may just get me to convert from being a Pagan Unitarian Universalist, if the Quakers serve CHOCOLATE during the post-service socialization.   AHHHHHH, sweet, SWEET fellowship!  *insert drooling emoticon here*

[nastyhobbitses]

As Anna Peels out of the church with the kids, Handel's Messiah starts playing over the loudspeaker.

Later Anna returns to reality TV with a series of specials following her adjustment to single motherhood in the secular world, getting a job, maybe even dating. Jana spends lots of time with Anna during these specials and eventually discovers her own independence.

Nope, no more cameras. Anna finds a nice house/apartment, finds herself a job as a daycare assistant or a receptionist, gets some help from her brother to pay the tuition for some community college classes, and sends the kids to school/daycare while continuing to supplement their education at home. She shuns the limelight and rebuilds her life, glad to be free of that pig she called a husband. Sometimes the kids ask about daddy. Anna tells them that daddy was a sick man and mommy just couldn't stay with him anymore. Sometimes even people we love and think are good can do something too terrible to bear. She hopes this suffices until they're 13 or so.

Ah, a girl can dream.

[JesusCampSongs]

You may just get me to convert from being a Pagan Unitarian Universalist, if the Quakers serve CHOCOLATE during the post-service socialization.   AHHHHHH, sweet, SWEET fellowship!  *insert drooling emoticon here*

My Meeting has whatever people randomly decide to bring. Chocolate features rather often, though it's usually of the fancy-schmancy Fair Trade variety because we're nitpicky about our snacks. 

[Valerie3kids]

I'd love for this to go down:

Anna says "yes, let's renew our vows and go back to how things were before you sinned". Gets her own Anna Says Yes To the Dress special, where she picks out a Kate Middleton-esque Modern Modest princess wedding dress (inevitably much prettier than her original satin t-shirt on top of a ball skirt). Sierra will plan a vow renewal that looks like Pinterest projectile vomited on a concrete megachurch. The girls will get lacy bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and Michelle and Jim Bob will have insipid talking heads about how exciting and neat and new season of life that all of this is.

The big day comes. Anna's hair is in all of its Gothardite sausage curl glory. Jana is smiling through clenched teeth as she tries to prevent Meredith from pulling off the headband that obscures her entire face with a chiffon flower. Josh gets another sex talk from Jim Bob to the effect of "don't cheat on your wife, that's bad". Jill, pregnant again and back from Central America, has brought along a "precious friend" from Antigua whom everyone will act awkwardly racist towards. The Bateses are there to keep cockteasing us about courtships with unmarried Duggar kids.

Anna walks down the aisle as Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party. Anna approaches Josh, he pulls up her veil.....and she reveals divorce papers rolled into a neat little scroll as her bouquet holder. She unfurls the papers, practically throws them at him, gives him the finger, scoops up her kids, and peels out of the church parking lot (after upending the table holding the now-melting root beer floats) in a waiting getaway car. 

All this and one good knee in the knickers.....she owes him that and a lot more pain.

[samira_catlover]

Mmmmmphsm.   Sorry about the hijack, but JCS, can I ask where you are located physically so I can consider a commute?  *NomNomNom*

Sorry, FJ people, I got way hijacked about choccy.  But I'd give up a pound of Good Stuff to see Anna KickTheFoolInTheNethers.

#FreeAnna!

[JesusCampSongs]

Mmmmmphsm.   Sorry about the hijack, but JCS, can I ask where you are located physically so I can consider a commute?  *NomNomNom*

Sorry, FJ people, I got way hijacked about choccy.  But I'd give up a pound of Good Stuff to see Anna KickTheFoolInTheNethers.

#FreeAnna!

I'm in North Carolina. 

[Alicja]

I'd love for this to go down:

Anna says "yes, let's renew our vows and go back to how things were before you sinned". Gets her own Anna Says Yes To the Dress special, where she picks out a Kate Middleton-esque Modern Modest princess wedding dress (inevitably much prettier than her original satin t-shirt on top of a ball skirt). Sierra will plan a vow renewal that looks like Pinterest projectile vomited on a concrete megachurch. The girls will get lacy bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and Michelle and Jim Bob will have insipid talking heads about how exciting and neat and new season of life that all of this is.

The big day comes. Anna's hair is in all of its Gothardite sausage curl glory. Jana is smiling through clenched teeth as she tries to prevent Meredith from pulling off the headband that obscures her entire face with a chiffon flower. Josh gets another sex talk from Jim Bob to the effect of "don't cheat on your wife, that's bad". Jill, pregnant again and back from Central America, has brought along a "precious friend" from Antigua whom everyone will act awkwardly racist towards. The Bateses are there to keep cockteasing us about courtships with unmarried Duggar kids.

Anna walks down the aisle as Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party. Anna approaches Josh, he pulls up her veil.....and she reveals divorce papers rolled into a neat little scroll as her bouquet holder. She unfurls the papers, practically throws them at him, gives him the finger, scoops up her kids, and peels out of the church parking lot (after upending the table holding the now-melting root beer floats) in a waiting getaway car. 

yaaaass!!! [emoji122]

[CorruptionInc.]

Regarding the female producer:

We've read before that Jim Bob won't talk to waitresses or make eye contact with them.  Same with female reporters--except when it behooves him.  That REALLY makes me angry. .

I am very friendly in general but a bit extra for all the people in shops, restaurants etc.; so much so my best friend thinks I am flirting with all of them! Haha

Dear Jim Bob, you are a shit. There I said it. Get the f over yourself.

Regards, a lady who is not married, 30 something, had relationships with both men and women and works full time. [emoji846]

[Tdoc72]

I'd love for this to go down:

Anna says "yes, let's renew our vows and go back to how things were before you sinned". Gets her own Anna Says Yes To the Dress special, where she picks out a Kate Middleton-esque Modern Modest princess wedding dress (inevitably much prettier than her original satin t-shirt on top of a ball skirt). Sierra will plan a vow renewal that looks like Pinterest projectile vomited on a concrete megachurch. The girls will get lacy bridesmaid/flower girl dresses and Michelle and Jim Bob will have insipid talking heads about how exciting and neat and new season of life that all of this is.

The big day comes. Anna's hair is in all of its Gothardite sausage curl glory. Jana is smiling through clenched teeth as she tries to prevent Meredith from pulling off the headband that obscures her entire face with a chiffon flower. Josh gets another sex talk from Jim Bob to the effect of "don't cheat on your wife, that's bad". Jill, pregnant again and back from Central America, has brought along a "precious friend" from Antigua whom everyone will act awkwardly racist towards. The Bateses are there to keep cockteasing us about courtships with unmarried Duggar kids.

Anna walks down the aisle as Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party. Anna approaches Josh, he pulls up her veil.....and she reveals divorce papers rolled into a neat little scroll as her bouquet holder. She unfurls the papers, practically throws them at him, gives him the finger, scoops up her kids, and peels out of the church parking lot (after upending the table holding the now-melting root beer floats) in a waiting getaway car. 

No Josh singing an updated version of the Loyalty song?  Sad face.

[nastyhobbitses]

No Josh singing an updated version of the Loyalty song?  Sad face.

He gets about a bar in before Anna busts out the divorce papers. Amy is in the back of the church with speakers and cues up "Your Cheating Heart" by Hank Williams at the appropriate moment.

[FlamingFundie]

"while Erin furiously pounds out the Wedding March like the piano snubbed her at a party."

Best. Sentence. Evah. I keep picturing this in my head and I cannot stop laughing!

[sockinshoe]

He gets about a bar in before Anna busts out the divorce papers. Amy is in the back of the church with speakers and cues up "Your Cheating Heart" by Hank Williams at the appropriate moment.

Or "God may forgive you (but I don't)" by Iris DeMent.

[IrishCarrie]

We're going to need one camera fixed solidly on Pa Keller's face throughout all of this, to capture every last nuance of his expression....

[Seven Severn]

 

Or "God may forgive you (but I don't)" by Iris DeMent.

Or Lyle Lovett's "God Will":

 

[Chicken bones]

...and TLC would like edit the whole thing to look like it went off without a hitch. At JB's urging, of course.

[nastyhobbitses]

Or Lyle Lovett's "God Will":

 

I really think we need to make a whole "kicking a cheater to the curb" playlist for Anna.

We've featured a lot of country tunes, so I'll throw in a great R&B one: Hit 'Em Up Style

What I wouldn't give to see Anna just take all that sweet TLC money and spend it to the last dime for all the hard times.

[sockinshoe]

The Carolina Chocolate Drops do a great country/folk/old-time music cover of Hit 'Em Up Style.

[PopRox]

OMG I forgot about the Blu Cantrell song. Thanks for the throwback memories! 

[NeverQuivered]

I found this little gem on Facebook this morning. It made me giggle that it was on a Facebook page completely unrelated to Duggar watching. 

[Alicja]

I found this little gem on Facebook this morning. It made me giggle that it was on a Facebook page completely unrelated to Duggar watching. 

He's free of cancer? Holy shit, congrats Jimmy!!!