Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 3

[jerkit]

My sister is a lot like this. She does have a chronic illness but she claims that she has the worst case of this particular illness in the history of the world ever. She is also a prescription drug addict. Whenever the attention is not on her (weddings, parties, etc) she claims she's near death and winds up in the hospital. It's infuriating for the whole family because we often don't know if she's legitimately feeling ill or faking to get attention. Both have happened.

[Florita]

You know, this is going to pose a bit of a problem for Lori. Terri is a long-time reader of Lori's blog and fellow blogger. If Lori cuts her down or deletes her post, Terri's going to fight back. If Lori takes on Andrea, fireworks are going to FLY. Which lady is going to show God's grace and compassion, acting like a true Titus 2 woman? Which woman is going to out-holy her sisters? Which woman is going to emerge the victor of the submissive blogosphere? Stay tuned!

 

Personally, I'm rooting for "Terri." I don't espouse many of her views, but she's far more down-to-earth and likeable, imo, especially compared to most of the others.

And the winner is............No one! Lori deleted the entire post.

Well maybe Terry is the winner because I imagine Andrea isn't happy to have her entire guest post put into the trash.

[usmcmom]

And the winner is............No one! Lori deleted the entire post.

Well maybe Terry is the winner because I imagine Andrea isn't happy to have her entire guest post put into the trash.

Wow! Why in the world would she delete the whole post? I wonder if Andrea asked her to delete it. I think Andrea was quite surprised to have any disagreement at all over her words. She was getting really angry at Terry.  Or perhaps Lori didn't like the fact that Andrea presented herself so well, as far as her writing goes. She DOES write better than Lori and many people complimented her.  Lori can't like the fact that someone younger might develop a bigger fan base than the Godliest of Mentors. 

I'm pretty sure Terry would not have asked for her comments to be deleted. She seems much more confident in herself and able to stand up to whatever Lori or Andrea threw at her.  The thing is we will never know because Lori will just pretend it never happened.  "What post on isolation?  There was never a post on isolation! Detractor!"

[jerkit]

There have been other women who adorn the Gospel with the way they live their life. They are kind, loving, encouraging and positive. They are a joy to be around and after being with them, you are uplifted and happy.

DYING LAUGHING. Lori makes the Gospel sound like the very worst idea in the world.

[2xx1xy1JD]

She has a woman with 8 children posting now.  The house (based on mom's account) sounds like complete and utter chaos.  DHS has already been called once.  Some of the children are supposedly regressing and have accidents.  She claims there's no medical problem, but to me that's an indicator that something is wrong.  It's is not normal for a 10 year old to be regularly soiling themselves, and I don't believe for a minute that a doctor would just dismiss it.  In other words, I think she's lying about seeking medical help.
 

NONE of the idiots on Lori's blog seem to notice the glaring red flags.  

When Ken was here, we spoke at length about Lori giving advice in dangerous situations.  I think it's a safe bet that this is one of them.  When you have DHS involvement and seemingly healthy 10 years olds soiling themselves (only to be met with abuse), that is an indicator that Lori should suggest professional help.  

This is like the time that a woman in comments went into graphic detail about abusing her daughter (even thinking she had broken her arm) and Lori's advice was "hit harder- if you hit hard enough it'll work".  

My heart breaks for these kids.  Living in chaos with idiots for parents.

Sometimes, I just wish that I could reach out to some of these people, and do one of those Nanny 911 type of interventions.  It sounds too bad even to snark on. 

I will once again sound like a broken record but....respect normal childhood development.  You don't need to "discipline" normal developmental stages.  You just baby proof the house, introduce appropriate foods at the appropriate times and give the tot a chance to eat, teach kids how to use the toilet, etc. and remember that developmentally normal adults are perfectly capable of eating, sleeping, not sticking fingers in electric sockets, and using toilets.  If a child isn't doing this at 10 - well, you've got a problem.  Either it's a physical issue, some sort of psychological terror, or a really desperate way to get mom's attention. 

Look at the list of stuff she's trying to control.  Taking food on their own.  Lying.  Following children to the bathroom to make sure they aren't lying when they want to leave the table.  Maybe, just maybe, hyper-control is not working, and it's actually causing the kids to act out by soiling their pants.

[nokidsmom]

 

My sister is a lot like this. She does have a chronic illness but she claims that she has the worst case of this particular illness in the history of the world ever. She is also a prescription drug addict. Whenever the attention is not on her (weddings, parties, etc) she claims she's near death and winds up in the hospital. It's infuriating for the whole family because we often don't know if she's legitimately feeling ill or faking to get attention. Both have happened.

This is my MIL.   She is a screaming hypochondriac who claims to have had just about every illness known to man, yet she's in better shape than most people her age, which is 83.  She has missed several family events because she became "sick", had to go the the ER sometimes and always springs this at the last minute so the family gets word at the event and then of course, everyone is worried about her.   And she has done this for years, it's not something that cropped up when she got older.   

Yet, she doesn't understand when she's been excluded from events because several people have gotten sick of it and don't buy in.  I wonder how many events Lori actually misses out because no one wants to deal with her nonsense.

 

 

[salex]

Without going into too much detail, I had a relative who, at 90, was in the doctor's office or hospital (can't remember now) and when asked "how long have you been sick" said.  "Since I was 8."

When you visited her, for decades she'd say "Well, this might be our last visit, I'm doing so poorly I could die at any time." 

 

[Koala]

Without going into too much detail, I had a relative who, at 90, was in the doctor's office or hospital (can't remember now) and when asked "how long have you been sick" said.  "Since I was 8."

When you visited her, for decades she'd say "Well, this might be our last visit, I'm doing so poorly I could die at any time." 

 

We had one who was "not long for this world"....for about 30 years.  

[polecat]

Sometimes, I just wish that I could reach out to some of these people, and do one of those Nanny 911 type of interventions.  It sounds too bad even to snark on. 

I will once again sound like a broken record but....respect normal childhood development.  You don't need to "discipline" normal developmental stages.  You just baby proof the house, introduce appropriate foods at the appropriate times and give the tot a chance to eat, teach kids how to use the toilet, etc. and remember that developmentally normal adults are perfectly capable of eating, sleeping, not sticking fingers in electric sockets, and using toilets.  If a child isn't doing this at 10 - well, you've got a problem.  Either it's a physical issue, some sort of psychological terror, or a really desperate way to get mom's attention. 

Look at the list of stuff she's trying to control.  Taking food on their own.  Lying.  Following children to the bathroom to make sure they aren't lying when they want to leave the table.  Maybe, just maybe, hyper-control is not working, and it's actually causing the kids to act out by soiling their pants.

A lot of this comes from fundies seeing children not as tiny people but as objects to be molded into the proper shape. They aren't allowed individuality, opinions or ideas of their own. So when they do express some of their personality, they are punished because it's seen as a threat to the family or their soul. 

 

[Grimalkin]

QUOTING jERKIT HERE:

frustrating, time-consuming and not enjoyable at all. There are sites out there and there sole purpose is to shut down blogs like ours. They worked on me for a LONG time but mostly have given up since I'm not going to stop teaching Truth. However, since moderating comments, it has made it much more enjoyable! I do have a few who continue to leave mean and nasty comments but they never are shown on my blog.

********************************************************************************************************

Oh Lori we don't want to shut you down, we really enjoy snarking on you. I truly miss CabinetMan's blog. I wish he still blogged openly. I think many of us here would feel a sense of loss if you stopped. You have made a real impact on our lives in deep meaningful ways you will never understand! I suppose its not in the way you would like, but really Lori you have touched my life......forever. The shit you write really means something to me.

[iheartchacos]

I miss Terri's blog. She actually has a brain. And it was interesting to read about a black family in this culture.

Carry on.

[Sobeknofret]

I miss Terri's blog. She actually has a brain. And it was interesting to read about a black family in this culture.

 

Carry on.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I liked Terry's blog too. She took some really great pictures, IIRC.

And am I the only one who wants to take those poor kids who are still having accidents and just sit down and cuddle them? I can't imagine what they're going through, but what I know breaks my heart. Poor innocent babies.

[usmcmom]

I liked Terry's blog too. She took some really great pictures, IIRC.

And am I the only one who wants to take those poor kids who are still having accidents and just sit down and cuddle them? I can't imagine what they're going through, but what I know breaks my heart. Poor innocent babies.

Regression in toilet habits is often a sign of abuse. Of course, mentor Lori and Kounselor Ken do not seem to know that. More likely; they just don't care and would find ways to justify any abuse. "Just spank harder and they'll stop soiling themselves," is likely their advice.  That house is an abusive place.  Considering how the Aleanders raised their children and how their grandchildren are being raised - of course Ken and Lori don't believe those children are in danger. 

[FundieFarmer]

I don't know what I found about today's post more ridiculous; that Lori seems to ignore that you really don't *need* a man for those things (a long-term partner of any gender can do them)...

Or this statement: "sat with me in the ICU and made sure they weren't giving me antibiotics, shots to prevent clotting and other things I didn't need."

What.

The.

Heck.

Please tell me she doesn't think clotting prevention medication is optional and instead favors oils. Please, Lori. Say it isn't so.

[Koala]

I'm just glad Ken was there to advise the doctors....  

[2xx1xy1JD]

Regression in toilet habits is often a sign of abuse. Of course, mentor Lori and Kounselor Ken do not seem to know that. More likely; they just don't care and would find ways to justify any abuse. "Just spank harder and they'll stop soiling themselves," is likely their advice.  That house is an abusive place.  Considering how the Aleanders raised their children and how their grandchildren are being raised - of course Ken and Lori don't believe those children are in danger. 

[Massive trigger warning for child abuse]  When I read about that, my thoughts immediately went to the Randal Dooley case.  I remember reading all the awful details about the trial while I was pregnant, and I'd just sit there crying over the newspaper.  Harsh punishment for toileting issues was a big feature of the abuse.  http://www.canada.com/national/features/dooleytrial/story.html?id={77807A5E-651E-4A75-868A-C5CDDFD0DCCE}

[2xx1xy1JD]

Another post today on the joys of house arrest.

Call me cynical, but it reminded me of a client I had several years ago.  She homeschooled the children, had let the husband rule the home, and they avoided any outside activities.  The social worker's report expressed extreme concern that these kids were basically being raised in dad's own cult, said that dad was an extreme control freak, she had never seen children so isolated from any mandated reporters so it was almost impossible to get information from collateral sources, and the oldest child was saying things against his mother without having any clue what they meant (a sign of a child being coached by an alienating parent).  Dad was also refusing to consent to testing for a child having seizures, insisted that his "cranialsacral therapist" had found that the problem was all mom's fault and wanted to have that quack testify as an expert witness, and the kids were a few grade levels behind when they did enroll in school.

So maybe I'm biased, but no, I'm not impressed by a house full of robotic children who never go out.

[ViolaSebastian]

cranialsacral therapist

I had to look up what this was, as I'd never heard the term before.  It looks like a nice massage, I guess, but I don't think it's going to address mental health issues or family dysfunction.

CranioSacral Therapy (CST) is a gentle, hands-on approach that releases tensions deep in the body to relieve pain and dysfunction and improve whole-body health and performance. It was pioneered and developed by Osteopathic Physician John E. Upledger after years of clinical testing and research at Michigan State University where he served as professor of biomechanics.

Using a soft touch which is generally no greater than 5 grams – about the weight of a nickel – practitioners release restrictions in the soft tissues that surround the central nervous system. CST is increasingly used as a preventive health measure for its ability to bolster resistance to disease, and it''s effective for a wide range of medical problems associated with pain and dysfunction. 

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't know what I found about today's post more ridiculous; that Lori seems to ignore that you really don't *need* a man for those things (a long-term partner of any gender can do them)...

 

Or this statement: "sat with me in the ICU and made sure they weren't giving me antibiotics, shots to prevent clotting and other things I didn't need."

 

What.

 

The.

 

Heck.

 

Please tell me she doesn't think clotting prevention medication is optional and instead favors oils. Please, Lori. Say it isn't so.

How about the fact that love wasn't on the list?  Or the whole idea of a loving, healthy relationship causing us to grow and become better people?

Nope.  You need a man for sperm, money, dead stuff and fixing things.  Not a convincing argument to a woman with a job who can fix things herself or hire a handyman.  I also remember my very ladylike but sensible widowed grandmother calmly putting out mousetraps and then tossing the dead mice into the garbage disposal.  [I really wish some of these fundies could have met her.  We called her "the Queen" because she totally resembled the Queen, right down to her royal blue dresses and white gloves and hats and tea parties.  She was very proper, almost always wore dresses, never swore, never said anything inappropriate or mean, and rarely even raised her voice.  At the same time, she was active in the community, raised funds for worthy causes, and was one of the strongest, most independent and capable women that you'd ever see.  When she was widowed at age 40, with two children and no life insurance, she managed rental properties and went out to work.  She wasn't bigoted either.]

[molecule]

So in today's post she says this:

They think they must do something to make money {which the Bible never commands that women do}, have hobbies to keep them entertained, and/or be on social media so they won't miss something "important."

I'm so tempted to remind her that the bible never commands men to make money, either. 

With a lot of fundies, although I vehemently disagree with them I can see where what they say makes sense within their own (skewed) world view--but not Lori.

[FundieFarmer]

Every time I read some of these things Lori says, I think she must be mostly writing to convince herself. 

If anybody else agrees, well heck, that's just a perk.

[slickcat79]

I don't know what I found about today's post more ridiculous; that Lori seems to ignore that you really don't *need* a man for those things (a long-term partner of any gender can do them)...

 

Or this statement: "sat with me in the ICU and made sure they weren't giving me antibiotics, shots to prevent clotting and other things I didn't need."

 

What.

 

The.

 

Heck.

 

Please tell me she doesn't think clotting prevention medication is optional and instead favors oils. Please, Lori. Say it isn't so.

And really, if she were that out of it, how the hell would she know what Ken actually did? Knowing how much consideration he usually gives to Lori's health and opinions, I wouldn't be too sure of any of that if I were her.

[Koala]

Lori prattles on and on about all of the things you "need" a man for, but she would just as quickly tell you that you should have absolutely no expectation that a man would do those things, and you don't deserve to have them done for you anyway.

She has essentially reduced marriage to a business transaction.  He needs food, sex, and a housekeeper.  She needs money, a father for her children, and someone to tell her what to pack when the neighborhood is burning down.  

If the woman doesn't uphold her end of the deal, the husband should "discipline her" (see Ken for "creative punishments").

If the man doesn't uphold his end of the deal, the woman should thank God for the opportunity to be such a wonderful man's doormat.

As for today's post:

They are not involved in activities outside of the home.

All Christian families should be like this family I mentioned

This is how a godly family should live.

But wait- Lori is always saying what a Godly mom she was, yet she took her kids to Awana's, her boys played sports, and at least one of the girls danced.  Sounds like a fair amount of activities outside the home to me.  What am I missing??

 

 

 

[apandaaries]

 

But wait- Lori is always saying what a Godly mom she was, yet she took her kids to Awana's, her boys played sports, and at least one of the girls danced.  Sounds like a fair amount of activities outside the home to me.  What am I missing??
 

We're missing the copious mental gymnastics necessary to arrive at the conclusion that any of her writings might make sense.  

[jerkit]

Anything Lori did before she read CTBHHM doesn't count. (use birth control, sabotage birth control, limit her family size to 4 kids, involve her kids in activities, etc.)