Lack of interest in Maxwell conferences

[DaffyDill]

I think Sarah knows deep down she could have had so much more. A husband and children at least. She sees Abby, Bethany, Christina etc every day it seems, so she has to know deep down that Melanie's life, or NRAnna's life could have been her life too, if she had been able/allowed to have it.

At the same time, she HAS to believe she is happy, and she has to make you believe she is happy, because if she lets that faint, tiny, questioning voice way, way deep inside her take over, she will fall apart. Just reiterating "SO happy" again and again I think means she may not be happy at all on some level, but damn she's trying to be, and you better believe she is, because if she convinces you, maybe, just maybe, she can also convince herself.

[salex]

I think Sarah knows deep down she could have had so much more. A husband and children at least. She sees Abby, Bethany, Christina etc every day it seems, so she has to know deep down that Melanie's life, or NRAnna's life could have been her life too, if she had been able/allowed to have it.

At the same time, she HAS to believe she is happy, and she has to make you believe she is happy, because if she lets that faint, tiny, questioning voice way, way deep inside her take over, she will fall apart. Just reiterating "SO happy" again and again I think means she may not be happy at all on some level, but damn she's trying to be, and you better believe she is, because if she convinces you, maybe, just maybe, she can also convince herself.

If she ever acknowledged to herself that she was not happy, what could she do about it at this point? She has no car, we don't know if she has a bank account (and if she does, is Daddy's name on it too?) She's never held a job. Would any of her relatives help her escape? Any of the nursing home employees?

IF she told her father to please please please find her a spouse, would or could he do it? Or would she get the "grateful for what God has given you" lecture? (Or worse)

[SassyPants]

Prisoners have more rights and freedoms.

[Jezebel]

That is exactly what I thought when I was at the Energize conference.

After it was over and they were all at the tables selling stuff, I went to talk to Sarah. I told her I was on FJ, and said "You probably know about it." She smiled and nodded. I said "I just want to tell you that we all just wish you well and want you to be happy."

Before I even finished, she had a big grin on and said "I am SO happy with the life my Lord has given me. I am SO happy." I remember saying I was glad, and she reiterated "SO happy" a couple more times. I left feeling like something weird just happened.

On the way home, it hit me. If someone told me they were worried about me and just wanted me to be happy... I'd say thank you. Even if I didn't like who they were or what they thought of my family, I'd at least thank them for caring or for their interest or whatever. I felt like Sarah didn't see me as a person, but as an audience, and she just put up the same show rather than interact.

If a stranger wo only knew me from the internet told me she was worried about me and just wanted me to happy, I'd thank her for her concern--but I'd also ask her why she felt there was cause for worry. Not being a Maxwellian Great Conversationalist, I'd genuinely want to know why she feared for my happiness, and help her understand me a little better.

Then again, Sarah is SO happy! because that's all she's allowed to be. Her own mother wasn't allowed to be depressed; there was no effort on Steve's part to take Teri's depression seriously and get her proper treatment. And Teri had major clinical depression that left her barely able to function; is any "lesser" unhappiness going to find sympathy and understanding in the Maxwell household? Hardly.

In that toxic family system, unhappiness isn't a sign that something needs to change; it's a sign of ingratitude, lack of faith in God's plan, selfishness. If you're unhappy, there is no excuse for it; you're sinning and need to repent.

So of course she's SO happy--it would be ungodly to be anything else. And it's possible that she's even got herself believing that what she feels is happiness. I mean, look how intellectually squashed down she is; I can't imagine her emotional range hasn't been similarly compressed.

[Palimpsest]

So, are conference bookers/attendees expecting an Energize! conference or a Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit conference? Both themes have their logos featured. Are they doing both at the same time? Can bookers specify?

The way I read it was that they want to book 3 weekend Energize! conferences and then do as many as possible mini-conferences, of the Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit during the week. I suspect that they haven't had many enquiries. Or, perhaps, they haven't had any enquiries at all!

That was a surprisingly self-pitying post from Sarah. So, they don't know what their method of travel will be and they might have to stay in hotels. They still have a couple of cars among them don't they? Pack up a trailer with books and drive!

If, as we suspect, the conference schedule is such a money maker for them they should be much more proactive. If they are booking for the fall, then they could easily have specified a July or even August deadline for September. Why aren't they contacting groups that hosted them in previous years or telling people that they plan to be in X state and will be available?

It seem to me that people are bored with the Maxwell presentations, pissed at the super-secrecy, and that Stevo needs to have a Family Meeting about beefing up the conference content and improving their marketing plans.

I do feel sorry for the girls. The conferences were probably one of the few times they met people other than "the elderly." I think Poor Sarah has convinced herself that she is happy.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I don't think Sarah knows what emotions are. They all died a long time ago when Steve crushed her soul, and its not like she has any point of reference for what true happiness is. Her life has been nothing but boring misery, and she does not miss having fun, because she has never had it before. You cant really miss something you didn't have.

[Trynn]

Sarah is old enough to remember when Steve allowed some fun things. I am sure that, at least at first, she DID miss some of them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Sarah is old enough to remember when Steve allowed some fun things. I am sure that, at least at first, she DID miss some of them.

Not the adult fun things though. Theres a whole world of fun stuff she never knew existed. Music, books, TV, parties, friends...the kid things she remembered probably don't seem relevant now because she wouldn't be doing them at 30 anyway. And that Steve has convinced her she is better off without them and that these experiences are now deadly and scary.

[FundieFarmer]

I (surprisingly) liked the article, minus the authored-by-Pearl part. It also reminded me of Jana. I wander what the Duggars think of Pearl, whose very methods they used, condemning their childrearing with Jana.

Regardless, what I mostly got out of that is that Stevehovah considers himself king.

King Stevehovah.

[blessalessi]

Sarah probably does feel happy at the conferences, organising the younger siblings, meeting people, being adored for her books, getting out and about. The conferences are probably the very high points of the year for them so she could well be telling the truth when she says that.

Happiness isn't usually a constant thing though, and I imagine that it is at home, sharing a bedroom with her younger sisters, after waving off the married siblings and their families after a family night together, that it might hit her that she is unlikely ever to have a family and a house of her own. :cry:

[Talitha Cumi]

Sarah probably does feel happy at the conferences, organising the younger siblings, meeting people, being adored for her books, getting out and about. The conferences are probably the very high points of the year for them so she could well be telling the truth when she says that.

Happiness isn't usually a constant thing though, and I imagine that it is at home, sharing a bedroom with her younger sisters, after waving off the married siblings and their families after a family night together, that it might hit her that she is unlikely ever to have a family and a house of her own. :cry:

She might not want that, though. I mean, I'm grateful as hell that I don't have kids, despite never having heard of it as an option when I was growing up. Maybe this is her way of getting out of the breeding machine. If I were in that situation, I'd be happier being Sarah than being NRAnna.

[blessalessi]

I would rather be an old maid than a mother of many myself but, from what earlier threads on here have said, Sarah has always said she wanted to get married and have a family. People who were on the old Titus2 forum said she was really expecting to marry when she was in her early 20s, and on another thread someone said she was depressed after Christopher got married because she wanted it to be her. :cry:

[kpmom]

I would rather be an old maid than a mother of many myself but, from what earlier threads on here have said, Sarah has always said she wanted to get married and have a family. People who were on the old Titus2 forum said she was really expecting to marry when she was in her early 20s, and on another thread someone said she was depressed after Christopher got married because she wanted it to be her. :cry:

There used to be a poster here called Queen Mother (I think she comments on the Maxwell's blog as Mrs. Mari) who claimed to know the Maxwells. She was at Christopher and NR-Anna's wedding.

Anyway, she says Sarah did have some guys interested in courting but turned them down.

She may or may not have been telling the truth, but it's interesting to think about.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

She might not want that, though. I mean, I'm grateful as hell that I don't have kids, despite never having heard of it as an option when I was growing up. Maybe this is her way of getting out of the breeding machine. If I were in that situation, I'd be happier being Sarah than being NRAnna.

Yes, but with the children and the husband comes the free pass to adulthood. We know from past blog posts that Sarah does not even have the freedom of deciding what chores to do and when-- she had to clear her schedule with Teri when she wanted to go clean her sister-in-laws house. Think of all the things that Sarah is not allowed to do:

Anything sexual

Choosing how to decorate her home

Deciding on what meals to make

Choosing her own schedule

Deciding how much time she wants to clean her house, spend in the garden, play with the children

Deciding how to celebrate holidays

Choosing how much interaction with the outside world she wants to engage in via TV, newspapers, internet, books, etc.

Right now as it stands I'm guessing (I'm not a Maxhell expert) that she doesn't get to decide on her clothing style, she doesn't get to shop alone, and she is not allowed to stay home if the family is going out. In fact all the hundred and one things that we as adults get to choose for ourselves she is allowed no choice in but lives her life with fewer options than a nun in a cloistered abbey or a murderer in maximum prison.

[Sundaymorning]

Yes, but with the children and the husband comes the free pass to adulthood. We know from past blog posts that Sarah does not even have the freedom of deciding what chores to do and when-- she had to clear her schedule with Teri when she wanted to go clean her sister-in-laws house. Think of all the things that Sarah is not allowed to do:

Anything sexual

Choosing how to decorate her home

Deciding on what meals to make

Choosing her own schedule

Deciding how much time she wants to clean her house, spend in the garden, play with the children

Deciding how to celebrate holidays

Choosing how much interaction with the outside world she wants to engage in via TV, newspapers, internet, books, etc.

Right now as it stands I'm guessing (I'm not a Maxhell expert) that she doesn't get to decide on her clothing style, she doesn't get to shop alone, and she is not allowed to stay home if the family is going out. In fact all the hundred and one things that we as adults get to choose for ourselves she is allowed no choice in but lives her life with fewer options than a nun in a cloistered abbey or a murderer in maximum prison.

Nuns usually have their own room and generally a lot more freedom than the Maxwell daughters. I sometimes encounter one of them, when they are out on the streets (alone!) or when they are travelling on a train (alone!). No way a Maxwell daughter would ever get to do that. Even though I left the Roman Catholic Church in order to join a much more liberal, women and gay-friendlier one, I'd pick being a Roman Catholic nun over being a Maxwell daughter any time!

[VodouDoll]

My aunt is an RC nun. She has two masters degrees, her own apartment and car and office (I guess they technically belong to her order but whatever, they might as well be hers, she chose them and pays for them and they'd never take them away), a career first as a college physics professor and now as a fundraising executive for an educational organization, and she goes to the gym and wears whatever she wants. She takes sabbaticals to travel and explore the world. She reads all the time. She tutors illiterate adults. She does all these things because she wants to, not because she's been ordered. She's a pro-choice, pro-marriage equality feminist. I'm an atheist and I'd far rather be a nun than a Maxwell daughter.

[nausicaa]

I'm on the "rather be a nun" train as well. For me, the biggest thing is that your life gets to have some purpose. You can go the academic route and pursue some field of study you enjoy, or you can go out in the world and contribute some good, like teaching, social work, running a soup kitchen. The unmarried Maxwells just kinda... hang around. I still don't understand why none of the devout ever call Steve out on his family's lack of charity work. There are seven able-bodied adults in that house. It is such a waste to me.

[FloraKitty35]

My aunt is an RC nun. She has two masters degrees, her own apartment and car and office (I guess they technically belong to her order but whatever, they might as well be hers, she chose them and pays for them and they'd never take them away), a career first as a college physics professor and now as a fundraising executive for an educational organization, and she goes to the gym and wears whatever she wants. She takes sabbaticals to travel and explore the world. She reads all the time. She tutors illiterate adults. She does all these things because she wants to, not because she's been ordered. She's a pro-choice, pro-marriage equality feminist. I'm an atheist and I'd far rather be a nun than a Maxwell daughter.

Your aunt sounds like a very interesting woman with a rich and full life.

[uber frau]

I have an aquaintance who joined a Carmelite nunnery. For those who don't know, the Carmelites are an order who lock themselves into their cloister and devote themselves to prayer and fasting. They don't leave unless it's in a pine box or when they decide to leave the order.

I'd say even she has more freedom than the Maxwell 'girls'. She chose her life as an adult, after a real childhood and a proper education. Sarah might be permitted to drive and see something out of the four walls but she's been prevented from learning to think and imagine and make choices.

[FoxyMoxie]

I have an aquaintance who joined a Carmelite nunnery. For those who don't know, the Carmelites are an order who lock themselves into their cloister and devote themselves to prayer and fasting. They don't leave unless it's in a pine box or when they decide to leave the order.

I'd say even she has more freedom than the Maxwell 'girls'. She chose her life as an adult, after a real childhood and a proper education. Sarah might be permitted to drive and see something out of the four walls but she's been prevented from learning to think and imagine and make choices.

Carmelites aren't locked into the cloister, at least not all of them (some convents may be stricter than others). I've stayed with a Carmelite convent and whereas they are cloistered, they're not locked in and have chosen to be there (and sisters will leave to visit the dentist etc). This convent also takes a yearly trip to a music festival with other religious :D

[Eternalbluepearl]

Maybe Steve and Teri just tell Sarah that God didn't intend for her to be a wife, but an author. Since they fast occasionally and speak directly to God, they would know best! :dance:

[nomoxian]

In fact all the hundred and one things that we as adults get to choose for ourselves she is allowed no choice in but lives her life with fewer options than a nun in a cloistered abbey or a murderer in maximum prison.

Steve probably gets off on being more strict than a prison warden.

HI STEVE

[FloraKitty35]

Steve probably gets off on being more strict than a prison warden.

HI STEVE

Control is Steve's porn.

[VodouDoll]

It may be now, but I get the impression that for a very long time porn was Steve's porn. Why else would he make sure Teri and Sarah have all his internet passwords and he doesn't? And they get weekly printouts of every site he visits. It's so weird, I can only conclude that without these safeguards he would go on a massive and filthy porn bender.

[Trynn]

Maybe THATS his problem: the man just needs a good wank.