Pennington Point Mom feeling rejected

[Paperplate]

Ah, I get it now. When people "let you down" (= don't behave exactly like you want) you should act like a bible-thumping know-it-all. Thanks, Lisa! I'm sure all my relationships will be great, now that I know this! People will surely just love it when I shove my believes up their ass, just to prove how much better than them I really am.

Lisa, how about you google some bible verses on how not to be a horrible person?

If someone actually lets you down, you forgive them. That's what the bible says.

[Palimpsest]

In the video she goes over three points to help you deal with rejection.

The first is that you can't just go to someone with your feelings about being hurt or rejected, because the other person might also have feelings of being hurt or rejected. So feelings don't prove or change anything.

The second point is that the only thing that matters is what's true. And what's true is the bible so you should google bible verses until you find ones that prove you're right.

The third point is once up you have proven God is on your side it's not your job to change the person who rejected you, it's Gods. Because you will probably be persecuted and they will reject the truth.

She does give a token sentence about how she's always trying to improve herself, but the whole thing is basically that she's right about everything, always. And if you look hard enough you can find a bible verse that says so. So if they reject you ( or your opinion, or hurt your feelings) it's because they are rejecting God.

Wow. And, from the way she phrases it, this could apply to absolutely ANY conflict or slight, no matter how controversial or trivial.

Great summary. The only thing I'd add is that she implies that if you don't ever feel rejected or persecuted then you are really not a good enough Christian -- because Jesus was rejected.

The woman is insufferable.

[Palimpsest]

OMG, now Faith's father (first name James, public FB page) is posting FB links to articles on the duty of children to parents. From the article he posted:

In contrast to a pagan Roman family, where the children were to obey their father until he died, in a Christian home children are to obey their parents until the parents die or the children marry. When Christians marry, they establish a new unit wherein the husband is the head. So "children" here can mean infants to adults who are not married. (bolding mine)

Full article here: gracevalley.org/sermon_trans/2004/Duty_of_Children_to_Parents.html#.VIN9EAhKtpk.facebook

That'll entice Faith to come home for sure. Yep.

These people are freaking crazy.

Has this guy been taking lessons from Chris Jeub? :doh:

Once you have driven your children away with your nuttiness, here's the best way to ensure they never return. Assholes.

[16strong]

Why in her right mind would Faith want to return home and subject herself to the way her family would treat her? They'll never forgive her (as Christians are called to do), and they will always make snide remarks to her about being a "bad girl" and "breaking their hearts." It will be held over her head forever, and she will never see equal treatment to her sisters again (and it sounds like she wasn't treated well to begin with).

I'm glad that Faith has her entire extended family as back-up, because with this lot, it sounds like she'll really need some protection.

[nelliebelle1197]

Jeez, I really wish I could quit this woman, and stop with the armchair psychoanalysis, but the situation is just so RIPE.

I have to wonder who Lisa would be if she had maybe no kids or one or two kids and a "regular" belief system. I think she is smart, well educated and tremendously creative and likely would have been a designer, architect or drawn into some other creative profession and been good at it.

Instead, her intelligence and creativity, which needed a broader stage to bloom, have been channeled narrowly into her family and a home-based business pursuit. She has sacrificed her body to give birth to many children and I sense that she does realize how much she has given up, at the same time having a bit of pride at being a martyr for the cause. Hence, the sense of profound betrayal when one of the children strays, when she has given SO MUCH.

That she talks to her daughters about having their own dreams but knowing that they'll need to sacrifice them for their husband's vision WITHOUT LOSING HOPE (good luck with that) speaks volumes about Lisa.

I keep looking at this thread title and thinking, "GOOD!". I have not had the wherewithal to look at the article/video. She pulls me into a rabbit hole and I don't have time for a hate read right now. :wink-kitty:

[PrairieGirl]

Has this guy been taking lessons from Chris Jeub? :doh:

Once you have driven your children away with your nuttiness, here's the best way to ensure they never return. Assholes.

What is it with these fundy nutjobs and their delusions that they have all these children to serve them?

Even my parents, who are still kind of stuck in Fundydom - though not as extreme as they once were - never gave me the impression that they had me or my siblings to serve and worship them for the rest of our lives. We were treated with love (albeit with a whole bunch of god and Jebus bullshit thrown in, but we were definitely loved and still are), and it was made clear to us that our parents loved us and had our backs and were there to take care of us and when we had children, that was to be OUR job - to take care of OUR children and raise them and nurture them.

What Bible are these Fundy parents reading that crowns them the King and Queens of their own fucking country, and the children are their obvious slaves with no voice whatsoever?

[Coco]

i read something this morning that seems perfect for Lisa, but i don't know if she'll ever get it:

from here: handsfreemama.com/2014/12/09/the-manager-in-my-home-the-five-words-that-changed-everything/?utm_source=feedly&utm_reader=feedly&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-manager-in-my-home-the-five-words-that-changed-everything

"How would you do it?" I commonly asked these five words of surrender when the control freak inside me began to get agitated. As I watched the people in my life do it their way … in their own time … with their own flair, I saw sparks of joy I didn’t see before. And just like with Avery and the hairbrush, I learned each person had specific Soul-Building Words that fueled that spark.

Over time, the manager nameplate peeled off my shirt, and I strived to be less of a dictator and more of a guiding, supportive, loving presence. I went to bed feeling lighter, freer, and happier knowing I did not have to be in control all the time. I woke up with the peaceful awareness that there were many ways to live, create, and accomplish tasks—and sometimes the other ways were better than my ways.

“I will wait for you.â€

“Take your time.â€

“You make my day better.â€

I say those words to my slow-moving, happy-go-lucky, Noticer of life child.

I watch as grateful eyes light up and tiny shoulders relax.

Those words are Soul-Building Words to her.

“Mistakes mean you are learning.â€

“It doesn’t have to be perfect.â€

“Okay, you can have a few more minutes to work on your project.â€

I say those words to my driven, contentious planner and pursuer of dreams child.

I watch as pressure escapes from her chest and aspirations soar higher.

Those words are Confidence-Boosting Words to her.

“I appreciate you.â€

“I’m listening.â€

“You matter.â€

I say those words to my hard-working, often underappreciated love of my life.

I watch as tensions loosen, eyes meet, and conversation comes easier.

Those words are Affirming and Connective Words to him.

“It’s good enough for today.â€

“Be kind to yourself.â€

“Today matters more than yesterday.â€

I say those words to my own perfection-seeking, worrisome heart that tends to replay past mistakes.

I watch as my clenched hands open and tears fall as scars come to the surface.

Those are Healing, Hope-Filled Words to me.

[Howl]

Hey, Coco, it was perfect for me too and actually brought tears to my eyes.

Not the control aspect -- like everyone, I have issues, but control isn't one of them. It is because being deeply known, understood and loved by someone is so beautifully powerful. And knowing, understanding and loving someone in the way they need to be loved to grow spiritually and emotionally -- beautiful.

just a beautiful way to begin a Saturday.

[Coco]

It made me cry too. Hands Free Mama is such a good blog.

[Mama Mia]

OMG, now Faith's father (first name James, public FB page) is posting FB links to articles on the duty of children to parents. From the article he posted:

In contrast to a pagan Roman family, where the children were to obey their father until he died, in a Christian home children are to obey their parents until the parents die or the children marry. When Christians marry, they establish a new unit wherein the husband is the head. So "children" here can mean infants to adults who are not married. (bolding mine)

Full article here: gracevalley.org/sermon_trans/2004/Duty_of_Children_to_Parents.html#.VIN9EAhKtpk.facebook

That'll entice Faith to come home for sure. Yep.

These people are freaking crazy.

So the selling point he's trying to use is that his view is slightly less controlling than the Romans. The Romans of the Roman Empire, the one that conquered and enslaved people from hundreds of cultures? The one that had people fight to the death for entertainment purposes? The one that threw adherents of conflicting philosophies ( you, know, Christians) to be eaten by lions? Those Romans?

Of course, in their favor, they did do some cool stuff to somewhat balance out the overwhelming desire for power and violence and control. But, personally, I wouldn't be using them as an example, as in

" Hey, our beliefs are ( slightly) better than the Romans of 2,000 years ago! What the heck are you whining about?"

[divadivine]

Dear Lisa,

Get off the cross...we need the wood. You're a control freak. Your daughter figured it out & flew the coop. She is an adult. She can move out. Because she's an adult. Stop being a whiny, oil shilling byotch. Put on your big girl panties & apologize to your daughter & rebuild your relationship with her. And do the same thing with your parents. Oh and in case you missed it... Get off the cross- we need the freaking wood!

Peace & blessings,

Diva