Chaviva's husband can't return to the US for months

[Peas n carrots]

I had a friend who entered the US from the UK on the visa waiver and married. I'm seeing her this morning, so I'll ask her why she did that rather than the applying for a visa since that happened before I met her. I do remember that she had to hire an immigration attorney and go through more rig-a-marole to get her status adjusted.

Maybe Mr. T entered on his Israeli passport instead of his UK passport. Israel is not part of the visa waiver program...

http://travel.state.gov/content/visas/english/visit/visa-waiver-program.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/lawmakers-pushing-to-add-israel-to-visa-waiver-program/2014/04/26/4c99f2d8-ccbf-11e3-93eb-6c0037dde2ad_story.html

I'll have to read more about the implications of entering from a non VW country, but that could be part of the issue.

[FaustianSlip]

Chaviva said on her blog that he entered visa waiver, so he would have had to use his British passport if that's the case. If he entered on his Israeli passport, then it's almost guaranteed that he lied to a visa officer's face to get a non-immigrant visa to get to the U.S. He would have had to have a visa to get in from Israel, or he would have been turned around at the border. The whole thing doesn't add up at all.

[shedemei]

The visa waiver isn't supposed to be used repeatedly, or as a substitute for permanent immigration. If an immigration officer had suspicions on the second application, they might have rejected it.

[Peas n carrots]

Chaviva said on her blog that he entered visa waiver, so he would have had to use his British passport if that's the case. If he entered on his Israeli passport, then it's almost guaranteed that he lied to a visa officer's face to get a non-immigrant visa to get to the U.S. He would have had to have a visa to get in from Israel, or he would have been turned around at the border. The whole thing doesn't add up at all.

I feel details have been left out either unintentionally or intentionally. Perhaps she just isn't communicating the situation well, or she is fishing for sympathy...I don't know. Maybe she'll return next Friday and go into more detail?

[OddlyAmused]

$1000/mo sounds very high for Denver. Our mortgage (ex-husband and I lived in Denver, he still does) wasn't much more than that.

I currently live in Denver, and it really depends on the neighborhood and size of the apartment. I don't know where she is exactly so it would be hard to say whether or not it's exceptionally high.

[FaustianSlip]

In fairness, if you're shomer Shabbos, which I assume she is, your real estate options are usually severely limited by things like proximity to a synagogue, being located within an eruv (so you can carry on Shabbat, push a stroller and do a handful of other things that you'd basically be stuck at home without, if you're parenting a kid solo), et cetera. So even if that's high for Denver, there may not be other options that are both cheaper and meet the family's religious needs. Honestly, that's the only part of this whole fiasco that actually makes some degree of sense to me.

[Idolatry]

She said before he left they knew it would screw the green card process up. And now she is surprised that it is screwed up??? Right? Maybe she can figure out the OMG paperwork in wherever her headship is, and she can complain about public assistance there instead.

Does Orthodox Judaism require you to drive cars with over $500/month payments while unemployed, and insure drivers who are not even in the US and won't be for months?

[LucySnowe]

On Twitter it sounds as though Mr T will be going to Israel later this week and staying until the paperwork is dealt with at the London embassy (she says "consulate" but the consulates don't handle visa processing). Minimum three months, which at least is better than the 8-12 previously bandied about.

It's being handled in the UK because "we've got a lawyer there who knows everybody and their brother at the UK one." Not sure how that's going to affect the processing but okay. The only firm I can think of is Laura Devine Solicitors, who are good, but they don't come cheap.

[DuggarPrincess]

Since when has money ever been an object? She makes far too much to qualify for public assistance. Yeah maybe you're bills max you out but that doesn't mean you're in poverty or qualify for help.

[amydamy]

The kosher meal thing is a complete head scratcher for me. First of all, there's a lot of prepared, hechshered food out there that's certified kosher. It wouldn't have been difficult at all to bring some fruit or a tuna sandwich or something and a bag of chips to eat mid-flight. Secondly, he had an eight hour layover in DC? That's more than enough time to rent a car for an hour or two, drive out to Silver Spring, where there are a number of kosher grocery stores and restaurants and buy something to eat on the next flight. Not to mention that I think there's at least one or two kosher restaurants in DC proper. Thirdly, if he really, truly couldn't leave the airport, why not call a Chabad rabbi in DC, explain the situation and see if they might be able to offer some help or advice? Again, there were solutions to this issue that didn't include yelling at United because they couldn't magic up a kosher meal with zero notice.

Chaviva is a grown-ass woman, yet the amount of handholding she appears to require to complete the most basic tasks and to solve the most mundane problems really blows my mind sometimes. And again, if I were a prospective employer and read this whole saga online, I would immediately toss her application in the "nope" pile.

You don't even have to rent a car you can take the shuttle to the new silver line metro station and go where you want. If your desperate if everything is closed at the terminal at Dulles. You can take the shuttle to the parking lot and take the short walk over to the Sunoco and get something there. You can probably also just walk from the terminal but we always drive right by it when we get dropped off at long term parking. Dulles does have tons of shops and restaurants but I'm not sure when they close.

[FaustianSlip]

she says "consulate" but the consulates don't handle visa processing.

Um, somebody probably ought to tell the Consulates in Frankfurt, Guangzhou, Ciudad Juarez, Mumbai and other such places that they're illegally processing visas, then. In the case of Frankfurt and Guangzhou, both Consulates, they're the only places in their respective countries that process immigrant visas at all.

U.S. Consulates absolutely do process visas. In a number of countries, they process far more visa cases than the Embassy does. I'm sure my friend who spent two years doing visa work at Consulate Mumbai would be very surprised to hear that she did not, in fact, interview one to two hundred Indian visa applicants every day, and it was all in her mind.

[FaustianSlip]

Does Orthodox Judaism require you to drive cars with over $500/month payments while unemployed, and insure drivers who are not even in the US and won't be for months?

Heh, no. Unless there's a subset of Orthodoxy that has made poor life choices mandatory.

And I had forgotten all about the silver line! It wasn't running the last time I was in D.C. Yeah, the whole kosher thing is asinine. Go to a store, look at the packages for a hechsher, buy something, eat it en route. It really isn't difficult.

[amydamy]

Heh, no. Unless there's a subset of Orthodoxy that has made poor life choices mandatory.

And I had forgotten all about the silver line! It wasn't running the last time I was in D.C. Yeah, the whole kosher thing is asinine. Go to a store, look at the packages for a hechsher, buy something, eat it en route. It really isn't difficult.

It still doesn't actually go out to the airport but it's getting closer. I drive by the end of line everyday and haven't seen any more work since the Wiley ave station opened in the summer. I'm guessing phase 2 is going to take just as long as phase 1 did even though it's shorter and just running down the center of the toll road.

[crazyforkate]

Um, somebody probably ought to tell the Consulates in Frankfurt, Guangzhou, Ciudad Juarez, Mumbai and other such places that they're illegally processing visas, then. In the case of Frankfurt and Guangzhou, both Consulates, they're the only places in their respective countries that process immigrant visas at all.

U.S. Consulates absolutely do process visas. In a number of countries, they process far more visa cases than the Embassy does. I'm sure my friend who spent two years doing visa work at Consulate Mumbai would be very surprised to hear that she did not, in fact, interview one to two hundred Indian visa applicants every day, and it was all in her mind.

Especially in big countries like the US, China or my own land of Canada, it makes zero sense to limit visa processing to the embassy. Even in Russia, which tends to forget there's a world outside Moscow/SP most of the time, you can usually get most things done in either Moscow or Vladivostok. I know here, for most countries with a diplomatic presence, they will specify exactly which consulates you can get a visa from and which are honorary, since there's no way someone from the Yukon is going all the way to Ottawa for a visa. Usually there will be a few in Ontario/Quebec and one on the west coast, with maybe a couple scattered on the Prairies or the Atlantic provinces. For the US consulates, I can see that this is certainly true.

Generally, having only an embassy would occur when the countries don't have extensive relations, when there is a small population/land area, or when most business and political affairs tend to be centred around the capital. If Chaviva's husband is in the UK, however, he would almost certainly be in London, which is the actual embassy. The consulates there seem to be mostly to differentiate between Scotland, Northern Ireland, and Wales, though distance would be an issue there too.

[LucySnowe]

Sorry, I meant that the consulates *in the United Kingdom* don't process visas.

ETA: Apparently Belfast does; my mistake.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Chaviva:

I took a look at your blog, which I hadn't read much before.

I like your general writing style, and since I tend to read stuff about Judaism and parenting, I found it interesting.

Here's the thing, though: As interesting as super-personal stories may be to me, they come at a cost. I've been reading stuff online for a long time, and had many times when someone shared a bit too much info online. Once you know some stuff, you can't suddenly forget it, and in some cases, it's affected how I saw someone.

To give some examples that don't involve you:

- There was a cat fight between two women on a Jewish moms board several years ago. I had previously really liked and respected both of them, but it was hard to forget some of the nastiness. I knew both of their real identities.

- One online mommy board pal revealed that she had previously been involved with neo-Nazi skinheads. While I'm glad that she left them and that I was able to clear up some false information, I'm also turning down LinkedIn requests because her background still scares the shit out of me.

- I saw an insane escalation between Religious Lunatic and Religious Dissident, both of whom had been posting with their real names. Dissident was sexually harassed and contacted at home by Lunatic, and responded by contacting Lunatic's employer and getting him fired. Both seemed oddly surprised that I refused to give them my name or become a Facebook friend.

- I've seen people that I had respected post various BS on Facebook. I immediately start to question their judgment and common sense and critical thinking skills.

Everything that is out there with your name is part of your "brand". Today, more than ever, you lose control of what happens to your words the moment that you post them. Readers have always had their own reactions and interpretations, but today it is far easier to share those reactions with the rest of the world.

If something is private, there is no shame in keeping it private. You do not owe your readers, or the general public, the complete details of your life.

[Mama Mia]

And no, I'm not exaggerating our money situation. Asking Sprint about an iPhone 6 and their upgrade policies and having $10 in my pocket are both realities. It's life. Why must you look at mine with a fine-tooth comb?

I make $2,344/month. Some of that comes from a social media job, and some of that comes from writing for About.com. when applying for income based programs, or doing your taxes, I'm wondering if you are considered self-employed? Is your work done as an independent contractor? If you are you can write off a lot of your expenses, which would help maybe get you from " just above the cut-off line for help" to just below it. Either way, you should qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit. Which if you file early, could give you a couple thousand to get caught up in January. it' Let's see, would you like to see my monthly expenses? Would that make you all feel good about yourselves? Well, I just applied for food stamps, so I have that budget for you, super handy:

Progressive Car Insurance $135.41 other people have commented on ways you might be able to shave a little off of this.

Health Insurance $425.00 while it's still there you might want to see if you or your child qualify for Medicaid or other state sponsored health insurance.if your child is an infant, the cut off limits are usually pretty high, so you may be able to have your baby covered for free and purchase the cheapest, highest deductible policy for yourself for now ( sorry, don't know if you have health issues that would make this impractical. But even if you yourself aren't covered by a state subsidized plan you could probably cut this bill down by 75%

Rent $1,080.00 Cheap for my area, but don't know about yours. Is this a 2 bedroom apartment? If it is, maybe you could find a roommate, even a mom with a child, and split the rent ? That could also help with things like childcare. Obviously has to be okay with your landlord though.

Xfinity (Internet) $44.59

Xcel $100.00 No idea what this is

Renter's Insurance $36.75unless it's required, this would be something I'd let go of for now, personally

Sprint $70.00 you may qualify for a free phone plan. On first glance, you're over income, but if you count as self employed you might be able to squeak through. If you don't qualify, and aren't locked into a plan, you might want to look at Metro or other providers who are cheaper. you can also sometimes pay a little extra and use your phone as an Internet hotspot, which could possibly save you $40 a month on Internet

Car Payment $525.00this is a tough one. I know people usually assume you can sell the car, and sometimes that's a good idea -- but often people will owe more than they can sell for...or come away with so little that you can't purchase something else. So you may be stuck

Daycare $341.00Sometimes, if you're super lucky, you can get this covered. Or, in some cases, states will have a diversion program - where they will pay for things like childcare if it means you don't go on aid. Or, you might be able to find a parent in a similar position to trade with. Especially as it's only a couple days a week. You're right though, it is a good price.

Groceries $300.00in addition to food stamps ( which you may be over income for) , look into WIC. Also some areas have programs where you put in a couple hours sorting and filling food bags or making meals for the elderly, and in exchange get a bunch of food for yourself. And those generally aren't income based.

Gas $50.00

Total Expenses: $3,107.75

So let's see, what can you pick apart here. Daycare? Okay, so daycare is at a deeply discounted rate and only two days a week part time so I can interview for jobs and look for work. I'm sure you'll find a reason to obsess and harass me over that. Then there's Internet, well, if I don't have internet then there goes my ability to work. What else? Oh, the car payment? Yeah, that's pretty ridiculous. I've thought about getting rid of that and just stopping the payments so they'll repossess it, but unfortunately I have a 10 month old and if I did that y'all would find a reason to judge me for not taking car of my baby.

Okay, any other questions out there? Any other clarity I can provide for you so that you can better understand my situation so you can properly judge me?

Let's go ladies!

Hi, I don't know really anything about you, except what I've read here. I did, in the past though, work sometimes with people on resources and budgeting as part of my job. So I do have a couple of ideas that might be helpful. You are in a tough spot because you don't have enough to live comfortably, but make too much for many government programs. And sponsoring an immigrant complicates that a hundred fold. I put my ideas in bold above, in case it's helpful.

[LucySnowe]

Update: He's not back yet. She's started a GoFundMe for daycare expenses and plane tickets - given that she mentioned not being able to see him for Passover otherwise, looks like he won't be back until late April at the earliest.

I believe her mother-in-law gave them tickets to go visit him in Israel last month, which is pretty generous and nice of her!

[Idolatry]

That was as fun blog entry about not being allowed to push the baby stroller and not knowing any non-Jews to do it.

If you don't know anyone who isn't your religion in your area, then you need to get out more. Then again, if someone asked me to push their stroller because their holy being wouldn't allow it, I'd laugh in their face.

[browncoatslytherin]

That was as fun blog entry about not being allowed to push the baby stroller and not knowing any non-Jews to do it.

If you don't know anyone who isn't your religion in your area, then you need to get out more. Then again, if someone asked me to push their stroller because their holy being wouldn't allow it, I'd laugh in their face.

which entry was that? i looked over a couple of her recent ones and don't see it. it's the kvetching editor blog, right?

[LucySnowe]

which entry was that? i looked over a couple of her recent ones and don't see it. it's the kvetching editor blog, right?

Yeah, it's the post about the eruv.

[DGayle]

kvetchingeditor.com/2015/01/woe-is-me-carrying-asher-on-shabbat.html

So because she's a brand of Jew that makes things as difficult as possible, she needs a token non-Jew to act as pack-mule for her. This probably isn't going to be popular, but sometimes it seems like some branches of Jews make things as stupidly hard as possible, maybe to prove whose the most holy and devout by who sticks to the most rules. I've got no sympathy for people who choose to follow rules made thousands of years ago for how societies were thousands of years ago.

[feministxtian]

Rent in the Denver metro: My son lives in Englewood and pays about 1050 for a 2br apartment. 525.00 for a car payment is CRAZY!!! What kind of car do you need? Sell it, refinance it, whatever you need to get rid of that payment.

Non US Citizens can get insurance from any carrier...I have many friends who are legal immigrants (not citizens),they all have US state issued licenses (my friend used her German passport), and happily shop for the cheapest policy around. Where I live, insurance is pricey...from AZ to NV it almost doubled...but that's life. The budget was planned around those sorts of expenses.

Time to start SERIOUSLY cutting the budget and/or find more income.

(in the interest of disclosure, I am the child of a Cuban immigrant who never became a citizen)

[Lissa1481]

Hi, I don't know really anything about you, except what I've read here. I did, in the past though, work sometimes with people on resources and budgeting as part of my job. So I do have a couple of ideas that might be helpful. You are in a tough spot because you don't have enough to live comfortably, but make too much for many government programs. And sponsoring an immigrant complicates that a hundred fold. I put my ideas in bold above, in case it's helpful.

Xcel is the gas company where I live. Is she in Colorado? If she is, I doubt she'll qualify for much assistance on that income with two people. That's pretty close to our income, but there are six of us, so we get some assistance... but not as much as you'd think.

[Mama Mia]

Yeah, it's pretty appalling how little resources there are if you aren't absolutely destitute.