Pointless repetition with Ken

[browncoatslytherin]

I am going as a red herring for Halloween because I AM THE EXCEPTION.

Marry someone you like. You do have that choice. You do not have to marry someone if you don't like being around them and they make you angry all the time. Problem solved. Lori can close up shop now.

i could be a red herring as well, as i definitely don't spend every minute being angry at fiance. he can be frustrating here and there, but i lurves him for who he is. :P

[jerkit]

i could be a red herring as well, as i definitely don't spend every minute being angry at fiance. he can be frustrating here and there, but i lurves him for who he is. :P

Mr. Jerkit is the best. He's my very best friend. He makes me laugh at least once an hour. He's silly and hilarious and fun. He's good in bed. He and I work together to get things accomplished. He's very attractive. He is very sweet and thoughtful. He almost always makes decisions based on what will make me happy.

And you know what? Sometimes he annoys me and I give him the stink eye. And even then, I still love him. But I would have never ever married him if he made me angry all the time.

[Firiel]

I have pressed "like" for most of your post, but also wanted to add you WEREN'T stupid, you were just thinking the best of someone you loved. Glad you're rid of him now.

:) Thanks. I'm glad I'm rid of him too. Life is a lot easier/better without him in the picture.

[jerkit]

Okay serious question, why yellow? Lori is so weird.

Yes, we need to learn to be gracious women of God who choose to clothe ourselves in forgiveness, compassion and kindness for this is what the Lord asks of us. Have a yellow highlighter ready and read a chapter at a time, highlighting anything that really stands out to you that you want to remember. I have read her book many times since it is what I use to mentor women and am still convicted every time I read it. After you've read it, mentor another woman with it. It is a great way to learn and be held accountable!

[church_of_dog]

Okay serious question, why yellow? Lori is so weird.

I think yellow is the "standard" and 30 years ago that was pretty much all that you could get, and that might be all Lori remembers.

Here's my take on the "Always Angry" thing:

It is normal for people who are in close relationship to each other, to have instances where one person has a negative reaction to the other -- annoyance, embarrassment, anger, hurt feelings, etc. In a healthy relationship these feelings can be shared -- if a dialogue or a negotiation is needed then it can happen, and at a minimum the person's feelings are "gotten" by the other person, in the name of mutual understanding.

When you express your feelings and they are "gotten" by the other person, the energy on those feelings disappears -- the intellectual part of the reaction might remain but the emotions dissolve. This is healthy.

But when you aren't able to express your feelings (whether because you don't recognize them yourself, or don't know how to express them, or because your partner doesn't want to hear it, or because you have a belief system that says those feelings shouldn't be spoken), if you don't express them, they will persist.

They might fade over time, but you haven't processed those emotions and they will come back with renewed energy at the first opportunity.

And, if you don't resolve something by communicating about it, you will start to see more examples of the same dynamic that originally irked you, and thus you will feel that same upset even more often.

So when someone indicates they are angry or annoyed much of the time, that tells me that they have not been communicating clearly with the other person about their feelings. Keeping sweet/submissive only makes it worse, not better!