Insensitive Robin Williams Comments

[Cheetah]

Suicide is devastating for the family and friends of the deceased. When the pain is fresh and raw anger/blame might be easier than working through and coming to terms with the suicide. So I can understand if his family/friends lash out - any anger/blame they express could well be the crutch they need to get through the horrible initial days after a suicide in the family.

However I can't understand why anyone on the outside would feel that blame would help anything. Blame will not bring Williams back. It will not soothe his family's grief. It will not prevent another suicide. It only allows the person assigning blame to feel superior and to feel insulated from possible pain themselves because of course they would never do anything like that. The energy outsiders pour into blaming/shaming would be better used to organize better mental health resources/educate people about mental health issues or even just to be aware of mental health issues.

I wish that people who just want to assign blame but not to actually do anything to solve the problem should just shut the fuck up.

I feel really bad for RW's family and close friends, and sad for him that he was in such pain.

As far as the anger and statements of 'selfish' go, I absolutely understand where that is coming from... not that someone outside the situation should judge any one particular instance without knowing the details.

A very close relative of mine attempted suicide twice a couple of years ago. He's fine now.. finally got the right cocktail of meds and a therapist he trusted and he's completely his old self. But oh I was so angry with him at the time and yes I thought he was selfish... selfish for not listening to people who loved him and who told him to get more help. Selfish for insisting that all was fine, even though he was sitting around staring at the walls all day. Selfish for stopping his meds without telling anyone. It's such a fine line... he wasn't himself, he wasn't thinking clearly, and would never do that when he's himself. Clearly it's an illness. And yet, it just seemed like there were several points before it got really bad that he could have made a better choice than "stick my head in the sand and ignore the problem".

Anyway, my story is not RW's story and I have no judgment on his decision, but all the media coverage has been a little triggering for me with everyone insisting that suicide is never a selfish choice.

[nausicaa]

I read this morning that Westboro Baptist, in typical douchebag fashion, is going to protest his memorial service because he made The Birdcage and was divorced.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/0 ... nwilliams/

Isn't the Westboro Baptist Church protesting your funeral really a new kind of 21st century badge of honor?

Also, I don't think Williams would have minded. Just imagine how hysterical he would have been interacting with them!

[Rebelwife]

I have seen and heard some rather disgusting things today about Robin Williams and his death. I think it is so bizarre that the fundie people I know are saying things like, "This is what happens when people ignore Jesus. If only people cared about Jesus like they did Robin." How fucking self-centered does one have to be that they have to bring the focus back on them and their belief system during a strategy like this? I just do not understand how people that claim to be one thing always have such a difficult time showing compassion in a time like this. 

I, too, have dealt for decades with anxiety and depression. If I were to have followed through with what some people told me when I attended church, I would be dead. When I did open up with my struggle and reach out, I was told that it was because I was seeking attention and not close to God. Yep, and that opinion was also repeated by a Christian counselor I had a few sessions with. It bothers me so much when I see people telling others that have depression to just cry out to God and all will be good. I did and yet nothing changed. I was left feeling worse because I felt I was not worthy of being healed. Praying to God is good and all in conjunction with seeking out care if that is your thing, but it cannot be the only thing offered. Seeking help elsewhere should not be looked down upon or shamed. Shaming seems to be a common theme with fundies. People need to understand this line of thinking is destructive and deadly.

We need to remove the stigma associated with this illness and that needs to come from religious leaders as well. The leaders need to stop telling people that have mental illness they are bad, Godless or possessed with demons. It is wrong.

This is what is so horrible about the attitude that mental health issues are really just issues of not being faithful enough and/or not "turning it all over" to God. Not only does it not help, it actually can make things a million times worse. The person who is suffering doesn't get the help they need, and they are left feeling that they are not faithful enough or that God has judged them not worthy of healing. As someone who has suffered from depression since I was in elementary school and who has been (successfully) medicated for 25 years, this makes me :pull-hair:

[Firiel]

I feel really bad for RW's family and close friends, and sad for him that he was in such pain.

As far as the anger and statements of 'selfish' go, I absolutely understand where that is coming from... not that someone outside the situation should judge any one particular instance without knowing the details.

A very close relative of mine attempted suicide twice a couple of years ago. He's fine now.. finally got the right cocktail of meds and a therapist he trusted and he's completely his old self. But oh I was so angry with him at the time and yes I thought he was selfish... selfish for not listening to people who loved him and who told him to get more help. Selfish for insisting that all was fine, even though he was sitting around staring at the walls all day. Selfish for stopping his meds without telling anyone. It's such a fine line... he wasn't himself, he wasn't thinking clearly, and would never do that when he's himself. Clearly it's an illness. And yet, it just seemed like there were several points before it got really bad that he could have made a better choice than "stick my head in the sand and ignore the problem".

Anyway, my story is not RW's story and I have no judgment on his decision, but all the media coverage has been a little triggering for me with everyone insisting that suicide is never a selfish choice.

I actually feel like a lot of the problem with calling suicide "selfish" is bound up with the negative moral implications of "selfish."

Because in the end, suicide is (usually) a decision that is meant to benefit yourself, to rid yourself of the pain. I think maybe "self-focused" is a better description because it lacks those negative connotations of suicide. Most people cognitively know that suicide will hurt their family and friends, though they probably do not understand the depth of it. Now, that doesn't speak to their extreme selfishness... just to the depth of their pain, I think. They make a decision that seems to be the best for them despite the fact that it will hurt others. I wish that could be understood in a morally neutral way without strangers calling them selfish people (I say "strangers" because it seems perfectly normal that those close to the person would struggle with anger and feeling the person is selfish-- it is hard to be close to someone with major depression).

Note: Not an expert, just someone who has been depressed a lot

[utter solitude]

I don't think that's a ridiculous view to take. I was torn on my reaction to the Academy tweet when I first saw it. On the one hand, I like the message that I think was intended-- that Williams is finally no longer facing the pain that it appears tormented him for a LONG time. On the other hand (and I say this as someone who has suffered extreme depression with suicidal ideations), the implication of the tweet IS that suicide was a freeing, positive decision, and that goes against the accepted clinical understanding of it.

Now, I also think it's reasonable to disagree with the reservations about the tweet in question. But even if the reservations are wrong, they are still reasonable.

I'll give you that, but I think just getting upset over it in this way, with articles about it, is not the best way to go either. A focus on awareness and prevention would be much more productive than calling out what was meant to be a loving tribute.

[ViolaSebastian]

I actually feel like a lot of the problem with calling suicide "selfish" is bound up with the negative moral implications of "selfish."

Because in the end, suicide is (usually) a decision that is meant to benefit yourself, to rid yourself of the pain. I think maybe "self-focused" is a better description because it lacks those negative connotations of suicide. Most people cognitively know that suicide will hurt their family and friends, though they probably do not understand the depth of it. Now, that doesn't speak to their extreme selfishness... just to the depth of their pain, I think. They make a decision that seems to be the best for them despite the fact that it will hurt others. I wish that could be understood in a morally neutral way without strangers calling them selfish people (I say "strangers" because it seems perfectly normal that those close to the person would struggle with anger and feeling the person is selfish-- it is hard to be close to someone with major depression).

Note: Not an expert, just someone who has been depressed a lot

I think we also have to keep in mind that those suffering from Major Depressive Disorder who are at risk of suicide frequently talk about how their family and friends would be better off without them. In fact, that's a big red flag when assessing someone for suicide risk. They actually feel that the world would be better off without them--it's part of the way that MDD distorts a person's thinking. They actually feel they're doing the world a favor by committing suicide. In that sense, it's not selfish at all.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Zelda Williams getting attacked by trolls

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/13/the_tro ... _williams/

[Coco]

This is especially heartbreaking:

I, too, have dealt for decades with anxiety and depression... I was told that it was because I was seeking attention.

How self-serving on the part of the asshole who told you that. If counselors/parents, etc. didn't have the strength to devote time to help a hurting person they should have had the balls to admit that they're selfish dicks, not blame the person suffering for needing attention. You wanted help because you needed it, out of a longing to get better. I'm so sorry that you had to live though that, and so happy for you that you found a way past it to health.

[Firiel]

I think we also have to keep in mind that those suffering from Major Depressive Disorder who are at risk of suicide frequently talk about how their family and friends would be better off without them. In fact, that's a big red flag when assessing someone for suicide risk. They actually feel that the world would be better off without them--it's part of the way that MDD distorts a person's thinking. They actually feel they're doing the world a favor by committing suicide. In that sense, it's not selfish at all.

Yes, and that's a great point. I kind of tried to allude to that by saying "usually," but in reality, I really don't know how many (if any) actively suicidal people cognitively understand that suicide will not make their families' lives better. So, yeah, uninformed assumption on my part.

The point I was more trying to make is that even if the decision is self-focused, it doesn't mean the person is a selfish person or even that the suicide itself was selfish, in our typical understanding of it.

[Jana814]

I feel so bad for his daughter being attacked like that. She just lost her father in suck a tragic way.

[Coco]

This is really cute :D (Zelda ad with RW and his daughter)

[bBvideo 560,340:gd2yh2fg]

[/bBvideo]

supposedly they're going to make a Robin Williams character as a tribute in WoW, since he loved gaming so much.

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/12/robin_w ... f_its_own/

[fun2beme]

THis article was written by a Southen Baptist and details his experiences with depression and suicidal tendencies. Very refreshing.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-jeff- ... lp00000592

[GolightlyGrrl]

This is amazing!

http://whatismattwalshwrongabouttoday.c ... -williams/

[SunnyAndrsn]

I do understand, up to a point, the comments that suicide is selfish. I've lost more people that I've loved to suicide than I ever should have. I have siblings who have made attempts, several friends who committed suicide, as well as a grandparent. The profound grief, along with the unanswered "why" is where the selfish comments come from. To me, their deaths felt like the ultimate betrayal. Why didn't they reach out? Why didn't they trust me/us enough to help them? Why couldn't we help them? For survivors, in so much pain, the suicide of a loved one FEELS selfish.

Rationally, I know that's not the case. When I'm grieving the loss of a loved one from suicide, rationality doesn't really play a role. That's part of MY process.

[Mecca]

This is especially heartbreaking:

How self-serving on the part of the asshole who told you that. If counselors/parents, etc. didn't have the strength to devote time to help a hurting person they should have had the balls to admit that they're selfish dicks, not blame the person suffering for needing attention. You wanted help because you needed it, out of a longing to get better. I'm so sorry that you had to live though that, and so happy for you that you found a way past it to health.

Thank you. Your words mean a lot. It was my mother that told me that and my father, a baptist minister, that said my struggle was due to falling away from God. I was dealing with the trauma of being raped by my brother for years and my parents choosing their ministry over my well being. But it gets worse. I was 14 when I first tried reaching out for help and my parents idea of help was forcing me to come up to the alter, being anointed with oil, and prayed over by the men of the church to rid me of the devil.

I think the reason why the death of Williams is hitting me like a ton of bricks is because a lot of his work made me laugh and smile when there where times I just did not want to. Robin Williams was a kind person and did more than what his Christian naysayers have ever done to help people. I am angry there are people that claim Christ saying such vile things about a good man. And yes, I openly admitted to telling those same people to go fuck themselves yesterday. I am so over those assholes.

[RosyDaisy]

I read this morning that Westboro Baptist, in typical douchebag fashion, is going to protest his memorial service because he made The Birdcage and was divorced.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/0 ... nwilliams/

I would like to shove protest signs up WBC's collective asses1

[RosyDaisy]

Rush Limbaugh, please find a fire and die in it.

http://www.rawrstory.com/rs/2014/08/12/ ... o.facebook

Go to hell, Rush and fuck the devil when you get there.

[utter solitude]

I read this morning that Westboro Baptist, in typical douchebag fashion, is going to protest his memorial service because he made The Birdcage and was divorced.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/0 ... nwilliams/

Luckily, they have a tendency recently to claim they're going to protest somewhere, then not show up. Hopefully, this is what happens this time.

The protests at Google, Apple and Facebook were apparently so small they couldn't be found by a couple of news outlets :lol: Not to mention the sheer hypocrisy of it, as they were.are tweeting constantly. :cracking-up:

Honestly, let's just stop talking about them. It's exactly what they want!

[RosyDaisy]

Rush Limbaugh, please find a fire and die in it.

http://www.rawrstory.com/rs/2014/08/12/ ... o.facebook

Go to hell, Rush and fuck the devil when you get there!!

[johara86]

I feel horrible about his passing. I too have suffered from depression and anxiety. It comes and goes. I too have had to experience comments on the matter saying it could be from a present sin or its just me. It's nonsense really. What people don't know is depression and anxiety is real and is an ongoing battle. It irks me when people make nasty or negative comments on people who are dealing with it or have committed suicide. My take is this unless you have dealt with it personally it is quite wrong to judge or even make snippy comments. I am reading some messed up views on the whole tragedy on social media. It is a sad and judgmental world we live in.

[Joan of Snarc]

Thank you. Your words mean a lot. It was my mother that told me that and my father, a baptist minister, that said my struggle was due to falling away from God. I was dealing with the trauma of being raped by my brother for years and my parents choosing their ministry over my well being. But it gets worse. I was 14 when I first tried reaching out for help and my parents idea of help was forcing me to come up to the alter, being anointed with oil, and prayed over by the men of the church to rid me of the devil.

I am so sorry you have gone through those traumatic events and pain, Mecca. I cannot imagine. My heart goes out to you.

I also cannot BELIEVE that in the 21st (or late 20th) century people actually believe that forcing you to come up to the altar, get anointed with oil, and prayed over to rid you of the devil, would help after being raped by your brother. And you were 14! Such an important, tender age. I just can't even. I mean what the actual fuck? Were your parents transported here from the 15th century?

It occurs to me (and please don't hesitate to put me back in line if I shouldn't be commenting on your life like this) that they used your pain for show. That whole coming up to the altar, getting anointed with oil, having the bigwigs (i.e. men) in the church pray over you -- that's nothing but religiotainment for their audience. Which is another way of, as you said, "choosing their ministry over your well-being." Except whatever the fuck kind of "ministry" that is, it needs to go back to the Middle Ages where it fucking belongs.

As for me and my secular upbringing, I just can't even comprehend it. But I'm so glad you survived.

[Mecca]

Joan, thank you.

I agree with what you have said. I have told both my parents they would fit right in during 1692. It is hard to reconcile people being that ignorant and showy and putting their own child in harms way.

I could write a book about the craziness of my fundie upbringing. Sometimes when I say it out loud, I cannot believe it actually occurred. Truly a nightmare I would not wish on anyone.

[latraviata]

PP on his facebook 2hrs ago:

The blasphemous, cross-dressing freak Robin Williams is in Hell! Quit idolizing the world's heroes!

facebook.com/sanderson1611?fref=ts

[jerkit]

One of the comments on PP's fb status: Auto Erotic Asphixiation trying to get a sexual rush by cutting off oxygen to the brain. His alcoholism destroyed his ability to control stupid compulsions. He had a heart valve replaced most likely due to the damage caused by lack of oxygen while masturbating. Nice huh ? Lets not celebrate him he was not a Christian.

[latraviata]

One of the comments on PP's fb status: Auto Erotic Asphixiation trying to get a sexual rush by cutting off oxygen to the brain. His alcoholism destroyed his ability to control stupid compulsions. He had a heart valve replaced most likely due to the damage caused by lack of oxygen while masturbating. Nice huh ? Lets not celebrate him he was not a Christian.

Yes, the charming PP and his cohort, stupid and vile and I don't know which is worse.