Kristina of Keepsakes pregnant and due #4 in March

[eh02]

I still believe being skirts/dresses only is a conviction. Its one I thought was mine. I really battled and struggled with it for over 3 years, not even Josh knew. I came to the realization that I was dressing that way to please my parents, not God. I didn't want to be looked down on by those I love. Like I said, I still firmly believe it's a conviction, just not mine. If I were to ever truly be convicted of it, I would go back with no issues because after all...I dressed that way for 20 yrs.

You seem to have a good perspective on this. I'm glad that you feel more able to find your own way now. No doubt, you will continue to evolve in your beliefs with time - we all do. It certainly is not something to feel any guilt about, and I hope it's less of a struggle and a battle in the future.

It is sometimes hard for parents to be able to accept that children will not just be mini versions of themselves. It is probably even harder for people with very strong faith and rather rigid ideas of moral truths to accept that some things we wish were black and white actually have a lot of gray area. Like you said, if your convictions are determined by your faith, that's an individual journey that's important for you to take independently rather than to simply follow your parents' beliefs (and I don't doubt that they had good intentions, by the way, but that doesn't mean they were always "right").

It really can be hard to change your beliefs when you are raised with very prescriptive rules. I think that's one of the flaws of the "instant obedience" concept. The individual disappears and just becomes and obedient extension of mom and dad. That's not good for anyone in the long run.

[Curious]

1) Tashia needs to make her own FJ account. It is unfair and a little bit suspect that Curious is posting as proxy. Would this fly, regularly? Also weird that Kristina would all-of-a-sudden magically make account work. Tashia! Make account. Post. It's okay.

I'm not sure why it would be suspect that I'm posting as proxy. We have always said that as long as folks are vetted through US (vs through members) that this was permissible. Up to this point, we have never had anyone that chose to do this.

[Curious]

Curious, this may be a new issue. Did you see the posts above that Kristina thinks she was deactivated again last night and can't post? Her profile does show her account as inactive.

It could just be a glitch on her end and already solved.

Ok, so no I did not see the posts regarding her saying her account was deactivated. Because I posted, I ended up skipping almost a whole page of posts.

Her account WAS deactivated automatically by the system because she changed her email address. This happens to everyone. I noticed she mentioned it last night, but then saw her posting, so I thought another admin had taken care of it (hence my saying that it was probably HA) and didn't check.

Once I read the posts that you pointed out, I did check and saw that she wasn't reactivated from the email change and I have reactivated her, so now her account should be working fine.

I don't appreciate what appears to be the subtle insinuation that I am somehow involved in this situation and am posting as Tashia myself and making stuff up because how the fuck would I know anything personal about any of these people (not from you Palimpsest). I certainly have better things to do with my time than impersonate someone on the internet.

[Palimpsest]

It dies down, temporarily...

I have pictures to prove it took a month to get a response but it keeps telling me the file is too large to post.

But like a moth to the flame you come back to fan the fires with your little "I'm a misunderstood victim and you are all big meanies" wings . . .

Please don't bother with pictures to prove your point. You protest way too much and I'm not that interested.

Eh, I've always found Kristina a wily and manipulative little twit with a very catty streak. I'm not sure why some people want to believe that she is such a marvelous person and very good mother. She's posted plenty of hatred on her blogs.

Backing out of the thread now.

[PrairieGirl]

I've never believed that I would never have to work. I know that if something were to happen to Josh I would have to find work.

Welcome back, Kristina. I am glad that you are thinking on your own and not just spouting off what your parents taught you to spout. I was raised in very much the same mindset as you were and have done pretty much a 180 since I was around 18 years of age. I just want to say that I am sooooooo very glad that the internet was not around for me to post my thoughts when I was that age.

I think a lot of our questions come from that old blog of yours, even though you have not posted there for several years. I for one do have questions in regards to you stating that you may have to work at some point in your life. I do remember a post on your blog in regards to an uncle (I think?) asking you about working outside the home and/or going to college, in which you made remarks about how you will be a "keeper at home" forever and therefore never, ever need to get a job or go to college.

Has your opinion on this changed? Is your plan to prepare your daughters to work outside the home and go to college after high school? Are you at some point hoping to work outside the home and/or take college classes when your children are a bit older?

I am not sure if you read my previous post, but I did advise you to take your old blog down or make it private. A lot of our questions come from there. If you no longer believe some of the things you spoke about there or are no longer convicted of them, that might be a good place to start if our questions bother you.

I hope your pregnancy is going well for you, and you are feeling well. Your kids are very cute, and I love Kloe's glasses.

[Rebelwife]

I still believe being skirts/dresses only is a conviction. Its one I thought was mine. I really battled and struggled with it for over 3 years, not even Josh knew. I came to the realization that I was dressing that way to please my parents, not God. I didn't want to be looked down on by those I love. Like I said, I still firmly believe it's a conviction, just not mine. If I were to ever truly be convicted of it, I would go back with no issues because after all...I dressed that way for 20 yrs.

So.... is convicted just a fancy fundy word for "my opinion?" Because what I'm reading is that you used to think God required you (and I would guess by extension all women) to be skirts only. Now you see that you were only trying to please your family and that it wasn't actually your belief. (Good for you, by the way.)

I don't want to single you out on this, but it just reminds me once again of what drives me batty about fundies. When they say "this is what God wants" they mean if you don't do it that way you're doing it wrong. But then when circumstances or their opinion/"conviction" changes then they were just expressing what worked for them at the time and they never meant that other people were doing it wrong. :roll:

[formergothardite]

I've never believed that I would never have to work. I know that if something were to happen to Josh I would have to find work.

When questioned your exact words were:

I am not going out and getting a job, so I really don't have to depend upon having a college education

Someone else questioned you about working outside the home and you said:

Thanks for your question. In the King James Bible when you read about the virtuous woman it says in verse 24-

"She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant."

What she does is she doesn't work "outside" the home, but "out" of the home

So you did say that you would never go out and get a job and that the Bible says women should not work outside the home. Which is completely different then what you are saying now. Having no work experience and no education will make it very hard for you to support your family if you needed to do so. Are you okay with your daughters going to college and working jobs?

[Curious]

My acct is now reactivated. It took over a month to get a response after first letting them know I couldn't access my acct. After finally getting a response, it was a Sunday morning and I didn't have the time to do it at that moment. With having 4 kids, I get busy. I've had birthday parties and other things, I've just now had the opportunity yesterday when my husband got home early from work (he's been working tons of overtime) to respond to the response.

I didn't remember that I even had an acct here until someone mentioned it. Once I had the login I couldn't remember the password or the email associated with it.

I apologize. Kristina is right about this. I just went back to look at the dates. There are several people that handle social media and I don't always keep up with it on a routine basis, but do try to go through it once a month or so to make sure everything is taken care of, check stats, do any housekeeping and that kind of stuff.

[Palimpsest]

I don't appreciate what appears to be the subtle insinuation that I am somehow involved in this situation and am posting as Tashia myself and making stuff up because how the fuck would I know anything personal about any of these people (not from you Palimpsest). I certainly have better things to do with my time than impersonate someone on the internet.

No, not from me. :angelic-innocent:

I don't see a problem with you acting as an intermediary for anxious but verified sources at all. There is plenty of precedent for you/other Admins doing that.

However, I do think Tashia should become a member if she and Kristina want to swat it out in public on FJ. It will take too much of your valuable time to act as the proxy in that case. :mrgreen:

Really backing out of the thread now.

[3_and_counting]

So.... is convicted just a fancy fundy word for "my opinion?" Because what I'm reading is that you used to think God required you (and I would guess by extension all women) to be skirts only. Now you see that you were only trying to please your family and that it wasn't actually your belief. (Good for you, by the way.)

I don't want to single you out on this, but it just reminds me once again of what drives me batty about fundies. When they say "this is what God wants" they mean if you don't do it that way you're doing it wrong. But then when circumstances or their opinion/"conviction" changes then they were just expressing what worked for them at the time and they never meant that other people were doing it wrong. :roll:

Conviction means what it means. Some people have the conviction and dedication to do things...nothing to do with religion. Why is this so different? The reason why I believed God required it of me was because I believed it to be my conviction.

[Palimpsest]

I apologize. Kristina is right about this. I just went back to look at the dates. There are several people that handle social media and I don't always keep up with it on a routine basis, but do try to go through it once a month or so to make sure everything is taken care of, check stats, do any housekeeping and that kind of stuff.

You are a class act, Curious!

Really backing out of the thread now!!!! :lol:

[3_and_counting]

Eh, I've always found Kristina a wily and manipulative little twit with a very catty streak. I'm not sure why some people want to believe that she is such a marvelous person and very good mother. She's posted plenty of hatred on her blogs.

[copyed]

Kristina, you are not the first blogger I've read to have changed their mind about something they felt passionately about in the past. People grow and change, and it's a fascinating thing to see. I learn a lot about people (and sometimes, incidentally, myself) because of it.

Would you be interested in blogging about some of your old blog entries? I would read them.

[treemom]

Eh, I've always found Kristina a wily and manipulative little twit with a very catty streak. I'm not sure why some people want to believe that she is such a marvelous person and very good mother. She's posted plenty of hatred on her blogs.

Wily and manipulative...those are new ones. LOL

Hatred on my blogs? All I have done was post my stance on abortion...and that was like 5 years ago.

[treemom]

I used a wheelchair one time when I was pregnant with the twins. We were grocery shopping and after 45 minutes of walking I was getting dizzy. I am 5'6" and weighed 140 prepregnancy. It was hard to carry around 50lbs of baby weight. So yes, I sat in a wheelchair, once.

I had thought that I had fibro, but after further study and questions, it's most likely RA. Its hereditary and both My dad and grandmother have it. It has surprisingly been much better since having kids.

I assumed you had been diagnosed, sorry. If you think you have RA, please get diagnosed and seen by a doctor there are a lot of complications and like many Auto immune diseases it can relapse and remit. It isn't too surprising, many AI diseases improve with pregnancies, but may relapse later. I am glad you are feeling better.

[formergothardite]

Kristina, I think you are misremembering the things you wrote on Yuku back when you first came there. It DOES look wily and manipulative for you to now claim that you never said you wouldn't work outside the home and that wearing skirts was just a conviction, when we can read back and see you state over and over that women working outside the home is wrong(and your extremely hypocritical post that started with "I don't believe women should work outside the home" and ended with "I will only see female doctors" :roll: ) and at least once you wrote that wearing skirts is a commandment of God, just some people haven't opened their eyes to this commandment yet.

[Mama Mia]

I think it is good that you are realizing this. Not because OMG all of us are so much greater, but age usually brings these things to us, we start looking at our ideology and thinking about it. I don't care if you are dresses only or shorts only. But I do think it is important to consider why we think things are standards and why we believe them. I have certainly changed and believe I will continue to change. Its a balance between having the courage of your convictions but also being willing to deeply examine those convictions as time passes.

This thread is giving me conflicting feelings.

I'm alternating between thanking the Heavens above, all the Saints and all the Technological Wizards ( for the thousandth time) that the Internet was not invented when I was young.

- But- on the other hand, these posts are making me think it might be kind of cool to have that kind of easily accessible record of how your beliefs change over time.

[Letgo]

Kristina, I think you are misremembering the things you wrote on Yuku back when you first came there. It DOES look wily and manipulative for you to now claim that you never said you wouldn't work outside the home and that wearing skirts was just a conviction, when we can read back and see you state over and over that women working outside the home is wrong(and your extremely hypocritical post that started with "I don't believe women should work outside the home" and ended with "I will only see female doctors" :roll: ) and at least once you wrote that wearing skirts is a commandment of God, just some people haven't opened their eyes to this commandment yet.

I'm not sure why some think she is wily and manipulative because she may have changed her mind or not remembered things she said or posted five years ago. I have certainly changed my mind about ideas or beliefs I had five years ago, and I've had people tell me things I said that I don't recall at all. Kristina's life has changed within the past five years; she has adjusted to marriage, experienced pregnancies and births, her parents and brother have had marital issues, she is raising four, soon to be five, close in age children... Life experiences can change one's beliefs and convictions. (Remember Bethany Torode and her never kissed lips and anti birth control view? Until she married young and had four children in about that many years.)

I have children in their twenties and they have all changed in that length of time. One of them has made decisions and life choices within the past five years that were totally opposite of what I would have expected from this child. The choices Kristina makes are not what I made, nor are they the choices I'd want my own children to make-my kids all have college degrees and are in their mid to late twenties and unmarried, with no children. But they are her choices to make. I admit I would hope that she allows her children the chance for a real education beyond homeschooling. Education is a wonderful thing and getting a college degree does not guarantee falling away from God or life long debt.

So, I'm giving Kristina the benefit of doubt. What she has experienced may well have challenged some of her beliefs. She is at the age where people internalize their own values, not just parrot what they have been taught. I think it's pretty brave of her to come here, knowing what most people at FJ think of her. It has to be difficult, knowing you will be challenged on every statement, belief, and choice made. I'm glad she's at least trying to talk to FJ; she is entitled to her own views and I think it's good to listen to what she says and discuss it.

[Letgo]

This thread is giving me conflicting feelings.

I'm alternating between thanking the Heavens above, all the Saints and all the Technological Wizards ( for the thousandth time) that the Internet was not invented when I was young.

- But- on the other hand, these posts are making me think it might be kind of cool to have that kind of easily accessible record of how your beliefs change over time.

Regarding the bolded (mine) above...I bet I'm not the only person who wonders how she would have handled the Internet if it had been around during high school and college back in the day. Would I have posted inappropriate photos on Instagram and Facebook? Had a blog and shared way too much? Been bullied online? I'm kind of glad all this came about when I was well into adulthood. And I'm really glad that there were no iPhones or iPads around when I was raising my kids. I'd have been too distracted-bad mom!

[Tallula.Belle]

I still believe being skirts/dresses only is a conviction. Its one I thought was mine. I really battled and struggled with it for over 3 years, not even Josh knew. I came to the realization that I was dressing that way to please my parents, not God. I didn't want to be looked down on by those I love. Like I said, I still firmly believe it's a conviction, just not mine. If I were to ever truly be convicted of it, I would go back with no issues because after all...I dressed that way for 20 yrs.

I do commend you for this. I agree we are not all convicted or called by God to do the same as others.

I know you believe in courtship. How will you handle it if one of your children does not wish to court but rather date? The more kids you have the higher the possibility that they will not all follow your beliefs.

[formergothardite]

I'm not sure why some think she is wily and manipulative because she may have changed her mind or not remembered things she said or posted five years ago. I have certainly changed my mind about ideas or beliefs I had five years ago, and I've had people tell me things I said that I don't recall at all. Kristina's life has changed within the past five years; she has adjusted to marriage, experienced pregnancies and births, her parents and brother have had marital issues, she is raising four, soon to be five, close in age children... Life experiences can change one's beliefs and convictions. (Remember Bethany Torode and her never kissed lips and anti birth control view? Until she married young and had four children in about that many years.)

I have children in their twenties and they have all changed in that length of time. One of them has made decisions and life choices within the past five years that were totally opposite of what I would have expected from this child. The choices Kristina makes are not what I made, nor are they the choices I'd want my own children to make-my kids all have college degrees and are in their mid to late twenties and unmarried, with no children. But they are her choices to make. I admit I would hope that she allows her children the chance for a real education beyond homeschooling. Education is a wonderful thing and getting a college degree does not guarantee falling away from God or life long debt.

So, I'm giving Kristina the benefit of doubt. What she has experienced may well have challenged some of her beliefs. She is at the age where people internalize their own values, not just parrot what they have been taught. I think it's pretty brave of her to come here, knowing what most people at FJ think of her. It has to be difficult, knowing you will be challenged on every statement, belief, and choice made. I'm glad she's at least trying to talk to FJ; she is entitled to her own views and I think it's good to listen to what she says and discuss it.

You misunderstood what I was saying. I was telling her that she misremembers what she wrote all those years ago so it looks wily and manipulative to those who go back and see and then compare it to what she is saying now. She has probably forgotten that she said she would never work, that women working outside the home was not biblical and was wrong and that wearing skirts was a biblical commandment, but she did say those things. I'm not saying that misremembering and changing beliefs is manipulative and wily, just that she most likely is not remembering correctly and so it is going to make her look like she is trying to whitewash her past beliefs.

[Georgiana]

Regarding the bolded (mine) above...I bet I'm not the only person who wonders how she would have handled the Internet if it had been around during high school and college back in the day. Would I have posted inappropriate photos on Instagram and Facebook? Had a blog and shared way too much? Been bullied online? I'm kind of glad all this came about when I was well into adulthood. And I'm really glad that there were no iPhones or iPads around when I was raising my kids. I'd have been too distracted-bad mom!

I'm the same approximate age as Kristina. So yes, the internet has been around nearly my entire life (we got it in my house when I was 8). I had a livejournal in high school, I had a myspace, and when I went to college I had a facebook.

Did I post some stupid stuff? You bet your butt. But if you're being called out on it, you learn pretty quickly what is/is not appropriate to share. And if you don't...well, that's on you. And not everyone has the natural tendency to overshare, even as a young person. There were a few at my high school that did, but MOST people used it very responsibly.

It's a learning experience. And part of that learning experience is having to eat crow when you realize how stupid you were when you were younger. It's apologizing when someone calls you out on something. It's admitting your mistakes and moving forward.

She made a choice to have the blog she did. She made a choice to share what she did. We all make mistakes, but we also all have to face the consequences of our actions.

What I'm trying to say is, being young and on the internet is not really an excuse for using it inappropriately anymore than being young and stupid is an excuse for reckless driving. Yes, we know kids push the limits and think they know everything. Yes, young people make bad decisions. But, well, if you're old enough to have a blog then you should have been old enough to think things through. And if you didn't then you didn't and you need to be humble.

If you threw my teenage blog back in my face, it'd be embarrassing, but it wouldn't be anywhere near this. And I think that says something.

[bionicmlle]

I'm not sure why it would be suspect that I'm posting as proxy. We have always said that as long as folks are vetted through US (vs through members) that this was permissible. Up to this point, we have never had anyone that chose to do this.

I'm not saying it's suspect as far as you are concerned, Curious, but that there are some inconsistencies (like the spelling of her own name) and if she is already outing herself as who she is, then make an account,already. As if you aren't busy enough....

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Kristina, when I first read your blog I was 25, single, had just moved back to Australia after two years in Europe & had bought my own apartment. My career was fulfilling & I had a wonderful active life. Since then I met my husband, we dated for a few years, moved in then got engaged, married and now have a newborn son.

At 31 I can't imagine having 5 kids as you will. One is a struggle some days! There is no way we will have more than 3 (& probably only 2) as we think emotionally and financially it is too much. My husband earns 200K a year and I was earning 80K & when I go back 2 days a week when baby is 1 will be on 30K a year. So if we can't afford 5 kids, how do you afford them? And give them all the attention, love and 'things' they need?

That's why I think we need birth control...would you ever admit that your 'done' having kids and start using it or no matter what will you stay quiver full?

[Palimpsest]

OK, I meant to back out of this thread but then got an attack of conscience. I called Kristina wily and manipulative (and with a catty streak). It was mean to do that and then walk away. I see she responded. It would be unfair to walk away leaving that hanging. I also said she posted hatred on her blogs. That should have been hateful content.

Here is an outline of my problem with Kristina. It started way back on yuku, but her recent actions haven't done much to change my basic opinion of her. I haven't had time to go back to find all the links (some of you - especially Treemom, Thoughtful and Childless?) may remember some of it. If my memory is at fault, I am happy to be corrected and will apologize as necessary about things that I got wrong. If I did.

Kristina came to our attention when her Arby proposal video went viral. FJ didn't have much to do with that.

At some time after that she came to FJ yuku and tried to explain herself. Sanctimoniously, hypocritically, and often contracting herself. Oh she was young, but perfectly fine. I excused her a lot for her youth. I wondered at the time how she was justifying her presence here to herself and her family/husband. My guess is that she was "sharing her testimony." Wily.

She got herself quite a fan club. People were very kind to her. I'm always wary of pet Fundies but I was kind to her. When defeated in argument she'd back away and then come back. First asking for help on marketing her baby blankets (I still laugh at the KkK). That seemed a transparent plan to sell her crocheting here, but no biggie. Later she returned to try to sell her MLM. Wily and manipulative.

Kristina presents very sweetly and disingenuously. However, her (and her husband's) beliefs were not so pretty. Enough with the skirts only questions, let's go for the real stuff.

Her abortion blog was vile. She wants to say - "Oh, that was so 5 years ago!" So, Kristina, do you regret that blog?

What are your beliefs on raising children these days Kristina? How good a mother are you? I seem to remember that you and Josh were very into corporal punishment. Is that still a good thing?

Your husband also displayed some very unpleasant bigotry in the past too. Anything you'd like to say about that, Kristina?

I understand why Kristina gets upset when things she published openly, or private family matters leaked by family friends, get discussed here and elsewhere. The tantrum on her blog wasn't very clever though. She misrepresented and greatly exaggerated some aspects of what had been said here. She did not admit to having been a poster here. She was also very rude to people who have actually been quite nice to her in the past. Catty. wily and manipulative.

Than she prances in yesterday full of the joys of spring, expecting a joyous welcome, and asking us to be civil. Her posts since then have been disingenuous and, again, contradictory. "I never said that!" Yes, Kristina, you did. I also noticed that rather dirty sideswipe you took at Tashia earlier.

I've done my best to be fair over the years and was actually defending and making excuses for her earlier in this very thread. Page 5ish?

So, giving Kristina the benefit of the doubt once again:

Why don't you just tell us how your beliefs have been modified over the last 3 years? What do you regret? How have you changed?