Toni Braxton, sons autism is Gods punishment for abortion

[PennySycamore]

There are plenty of celebrity nutjobs without adding religion into the mix. I don't know why normal people pay attention to their child-rearing advice. Look at all the kids who aren't vaccinated because of Jenny McCarthy. And which crazy celebrity was it who would chew her kid's food and then would, uh, deposit it inside his mouth as if they were birds and not human beings? (I want to say Alicia Silverstone, but it could have been Alanis Morissette.) And just last week I was reading about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith getting a visit from child protective services on account of that photo of their 13-year-old daughter in bed with a guy in his twenties.

It was Alicia Silverstone. Mothers used to do that before the introduction of commercial baby foods. In fact, I heard about this years ago. I think my grandmother may have done it about 90 years ago.

Moms may have done this years ago, but the better way of introducing solids is to follow baby-led weaning and not use paps (pureed foods) at all. When the baby is old enough and has the drive and readiness to eat solid foods, you just hand her/him a piece of something rather soft like an avocado, boiled or baked potato, or peach and left them have at it. You don't even need to mash it up with a fork. Eventually they'll work their way up to eating foods that require more chewing like meat.

ETA: On Saturday, I was helping at a voter registration table when some women came up and started the "WHAT ABOUT THE BAYBEEZ!" crap. A woman in our group engaged these women very calmly and courageously. (I was very proud of her.) One of the women said she'd never met a woman who'd had an abortion that had not attempted suicide. I knew that was bullshit and said so. After all this was over, the woman in our group said she felt that the woman who was most argumentative and said the stuff about suicide had had an abortion that she grew to regret. (I think so, too.) This "pro-lifer" also has an autistic son. Is this a thing now -to blame your child's autism on your previous abortion?

[clarinetpower]

However, the R&B music icon told Us Weekly that she now feels differently about her past. "When my youngest son was diagnosed with autism I feared that I was being punished for my earlier actions. I have since realized that my son is special and learns in a different way.â€

She no longer believes this.

[RachelB]

She no longer believes this.

That is a relief.

[Jana814]

That is a relief.

Agree! I bet she was upset & in shock & that was her first reaction.

[moodygirl86]

The young man was shitless..

Nice typo. he certainly would have been scared shitless if I was Willow's mother and walked in on them! (Sorry, could not resist).

[flojo]

I don't know how to explain this in type, but will try.

One of the things that irks me most about seeing things like autism as punishment is how much it devalues the life of the person with the disability. I have a brother with cerebral palsy and multiple cognitive disabilties (he also has some characteristics of autism, but not enough to be classified as autistic). I have spent the maority of my adult life working with people with disabilties and hate the idea that you can consider a person's existance as punishment.

Case in point: The awful vaccines = autism arguments. What that argument does is basically imply that having a child with autism is the worst thing possible, even worse than your child contracting and even dying from awful diseases. Whist the false link has been clearly and thoroughly debunked, the underlying attitude is still awful.

I have seen children and families in horrific circumstances because of disabilities, but that doesn't mean that in most cases having autism is the worst thing ever. And under no circumstances does it make a person a punishment.

[Mama Mia]

It was Alicia Silverstone. Mothers used to do that before the introduction of commercial baby foods. In fact, I heard about this years ago. I think my grandmother may have done it about 90 years ago.

?

How odd. Why wouldn't they have just either mashed soft food up with a fork, or given them scrambled eggs, avocado, oatmeal, cheese, and other normally easy to eat foods?

[DifferentGurl]

I don't know how to explain this in type, but will try.

One of the things that irks me most about seeing things like autism as punishment is how much it devalues the life of the person with the disability. I have a brother with cerebral palsy and multiple cognitive disabilties (he also has some characteristics of autism, but not enough to be classified as autistic). I have spent the maority of my adult life working with people with disabilties and hate the idea that you can consider a person's existance as punishment.

Case in point: The awful vaccines = autism arguments. What that argument does is basically imply that having a child with autism is the worst thing possible, even worse than your child contracting and even dying from awful diseases. Whist the false link has been clearly and thoroughly debunked, the underlying attitude is still awful.

I have seen children and families in horrific circumstances because of disabilities, but that doesn't mean that in most cases having autism is the worst thing ever. And under no circumstances does it make a person a punishment.

As someone with autism, I'd rather take the autism than one of the DEADLY diseases that vaccines prevent. Didn't Jenny McCartney say that parents of kids with autism would rather take the disease than the vaccine? If so, she needs to be sent to a third-world country and see the effects of these diseases.

[PennySycamore]

How odd. Why wouldn't they have just either mashed soft food up with a fork, or given them scrambled eggs, avocado, oatmeal, cheese, and other normally easy to eat foods?

The pre-mastication of food has been going on millennia and seems to confer some advantage in terms of the mother's saliva already starting the digestion process. I still think it's gross, but I don't like backwash either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premastication

[Mela99]

I hate people who act like autism is the worst thing to happen ever. It's not.

My mother has been a special needs aide for almost 20 years. Some of the kids are the sweetest, funniest, brightest I've ever encountered. And there's a spectrum - it doesn't mean their life is over and that they can't grow up to be educated, productive and happy people.

[PennySycamore]

I hate people who act like autism is the worst thing to happen ever. It's not.

My mother has been a special needs aide for almost 20 years. Some of the kids are the sweetest, funniest, brightest I've ever encountered. And there's a spectrum - it doesn't mean their life is over and that they can't grow up to be educated, productive and happy people.

Witness Temple Grandin. Dr Grandin's autism has shaped her work as an animal scientist. I'd love to read her book on the autistic brain.

[maybeizfundie]

As a Christian and a prolifer, this makes me very sad. What a horrible mindset for her to live with, and worse yet for her child to be burdened with. :(

That said, I happened across her story through another venue and it appears she was raised in a very toxic type of fundamentalist church. The charismatic type, where she had to fake speaking in tongues as a child in order not to be accused of being spiritually unfit. I am very familiar with these types of churches, and even though they may not be the ATI/Vision Forum types of fundies, they are just as damaging. They also have very strong punishment/reward beliefs. *Everything* is attached to punishment or reward, and the goal is to have enough of the right kind of faith for God do remove all illness, poverty, and other problems from your life. I'm not at all surprised that as many changes as she's made, she's still stuck with some of these beliefs and not able to shake them off. What's really unfortunate is that this particular one directly relates to her child. :(

[ariel9]

I was going to say that she should have checked with someone before writing such drastic things that her son will someday find. However I remembered that the people surrounding probably sadly agree.

[Geechee Girl]

As a Christian and a prolifer, this makes me very sad. What a horrible mindset for her to live with, and worse yet for her child to be burdened with. :(

That said, I happened across her story through another venue and it appears she was raised in a very toxic type of fundamentalist church. The charismatic type, where she had to fake speaking in tongues as a child in order not to be accused of being spiritually unfit. I am very familiar with these types of churches, and even though they may not be the ATI/Vision Forum types of fundies, they are just as damaging. They also have very strong punishment/reward beliefs. *Everything* is attached to punishment or reward, and the goal is to have enough of the right kind of faith for God do remove all illness, poverty, and other problems from your life. I'm not at all surprised that as many changes as she's made, she's still stuck with some of these beliefs and not able to shake them off. What's really unfortunate is that this particular one directly relates to her child. :(

Very thought-provoking post as it touches on some of my experience regarding punishment/reward. This is one I'll definitely be mulling over. Thank you, maybeizfundie and FJ for this platform.

[snuggles911]

I don't agree with Toni's reasoning. Why would God punish an innocent child for something its mother did?

But, I do understand why she might feel guilty. I have a special needs child and when he was diagnosed prenatally I wracked my brain trying to figure out what I might have done to cause it. Of course, my doctor told me that it was in all likelihood a spontaneous birth defect that had not been caused by anything I did or didn't do.

But, still, in that situation it's natural for a mother to blame herself. We want answers when our children are hurt.

[doggie]

I don't agree with Toni's reasoning. Why would God punish an innocent child for something its mother did?

god has done that many times so it is easy to think that.

[flojo]

god has done that many times so it is easy to think that.

The number of people who implied that sort of thing to my mother when my brother was diagnosed with CP was huge. Although what was a lot stronger was the attitude that mum simply didn't have enough faith for his healing.

What worries me is that he is hugely involved in pentecostal churches now. They give him a great network and community, but I worry how much that message of your illness or disablity = your fault because of lack of faith. I have a couple of friends who use wheelchairs. One in particular used to hate going to large charasmatic/pentecostal style meetings as people would see her chair and make a bee line for her. She said it made her feel incredibly dehumanised.

[Toothfairy]

As someone with autism, I'd rather take the autism than one of the DEADLY diseases that vaccines prevent. Didn't Jenny McCartney say that parents of kids with autism would rather take the disease than the vaccine? If so, she needs to be sent to a third-world country and see the effects of these diseases.

I think parents who are against vaccines should go to third world countries and see what some diseases can do to a child. Parents in these counties would love to have the resources to protect their child. It's only a matter of time before a parent gets sued and gets taken to court, because their unvaccinated child got another child sick.

[DGayle]

I really like her songs. It is amazing how many celebs are wing nuts these days or did a complete 360(cough cough,Lisa Welchel, Kirk Cameron)

180. If they did a 360, they'd have gone full circle back to sane.

[DGayle]

And just last week I was reading about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith getting a visit from child protective services on account of that photo of their 13-year-old daughter in bed with a guy in his twenties.

Their daughter wasn't in bed with a guy. Some friends were kicking back, and two of them happened to be on a bed. If they were on the floor, no one would have had a heart attack.

[DGayle]

I am with you here. I guess I just don't see her as being narcissistic. It just doesn't fit the bill for narcissism. Most mothers with disabled children can have great guilt and blame themselves. If anything, I am sad her religion has her thinking she is at fault and she deserves punishment for having had an abortion. Looks like she is also being convinced vaccines may have caused it too. I wonder how old her son is and how long ago she found out he had autism. If it was not very long ago, it would definitely explain the guilt she is feeling as she tries to accept the reality that she has a child with autism and really, honestly, it's not her fault.

My problem here isn't that she's blaming herself and seeing her son as a punishment for ending a pregnancy. A lot of people might feel the same way if raised how she was. My problem is she's putting this out there where her son could find out about it. Some things are best left to a private diary or support group.

[Burris]

A lot of mothers of disabled children feel such guilt over the disability they start to believe it was caused by something they did. If your religious you start looking at past sins, if you are secular you beat yourself up over what you may or may not have done with diet, exercise, or even bad karma. I can't snark this one, it is just too common a reaction of mothers of all sorts of philosophical persuasions to the news their child has a disability.

This doesn’t sound like the misplaced guilt some parents feel when they learn their children have disabilities: Mothers, especially, may think they did something wrong that directly impacted the development of their babies (such as by drinking a glass of wine before learning of the pregnancy, or by engaging in high-impact exercise). They may imagine a literal physical connection between something they did and the disabilities their children have.

Braxton thought - and I use that term loosely - that God inflicted autism on her son to punish her for an act she considers murder: "I believed God's payback was to give my son autism."

But I guess she has become more enlightened since then: She now thinks his autism may be the result of a vaccination.

Braxton, as a celebrity, abused her access to the media by making public a statement that degrades her own son and potentially endangers the lives of other children whose parents may put off critical vaccinations.

[lawlifelgbt]

Autism just happens, all right? Rates of it may not even have gone up due to improved "catching" it over the decades. FFS.

[Tangy Bee]

Toni Braxton needs therapy. As for Jenny McCarthy, she's a hypocrite. She claims vaccines caused her son's autism, and then does a blu e-cigarette commercial? Bitch, please!

Yes Toni needs therapy and her family is NOT so fundie anymore. You should watch, Braxton Family Values. I never would have thought that family was EVER fundie. Toni has a sister named, Tamar who is VERY full of herself!

I don't know what to think about the vaccine issue. How do you explain kids having autism who were never vaccinated in the first place. Then there's my cousin...who was alert and perfectly normal...until a few days after some shots. I lie to you not, he was aware of everyone and his surrounding. Then after a set of shots he started having issues. I'm NOT saying this is the case for everyone, but I was there. He is 19 now, graduated last year, and is very high functioning. I can't remember which series of shots it was, but it all started when he was about 8 months. He wasn't legally diagnosed with autism until he was 2.