19 Kids & Courting - Duggar Snark for Season 8

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I remember one episode Michelle explained that there are soooo many birthdays that they decided they didn't celebrate with a big party. Instead the child can choose what they want to do with mom or dad, like go for lunch.

I thought that was so sad, I know you have a lot of children, but that's not their fault! :snooty:

My parents stopped having big parties for us when my brother was born (and even before that our "big parties" were maybe 10-15 people, which isn't even a full Duggar household) due to financial reasons. We always had dinner with the family, sometimes a joint dinner depending on people's schedules and whose birthdays we were celebrating (everyone in my family shares a birth month with someone else that we see on a very regular basis). Sometimes we might have a few friends come over or go out with a few friends (and by sometimes I mean that happened maybe 3 times), but that's it.

I never felt like I needed more or somehow deserved more. And I really don't think that the Duggar kids feel any differently. Especially considering how rare "alone with parents" time is with 18 brothers and sisters.

[Rebelwife]

My parents stopped having big parties for us when my brother was born (and even before that our "big parties" were maybe 10-15 people, which isn't even a full Duggar household) due to financial reasons. We always had dinner with the family, sometimes a joint dinner depending on people's schedules and whose birthdays we were celebrating (everyone in my family shares a birth month with someone else that we see on a very regular basis). Sometimes we might have a few friends come over or go out with a few friends (and by sometimes I mean that happened maybe 3 times), but that's it.

I never felt like I needed more or somehow deserved more. And I really don't think that the Duggar kids feel any differently. Especially considering how rare "alone with parents" time is with 18 brothers and sisters.

I guess for me it's the borg aspect of "we" don't do that - I find it hard to believe that out of 19 kids none of them has ever wished for something different. I have two kids and they are very different. My oldest is very much an introvert and hates noise and attention, a big birthday party would be her idea of hell. The last few years we've had her grandmother and her best friend over to swim and grill burgers, not really any different from any other summer Saturday night except for a cake and a couple of presents, but it is exactly what she wants.

My younger daughter, on the other hand, starts "planning" her birthday parties months in advance. She'll likely never get her ideal party, which seems to involve her and 20 of her closest friends getting picked up from school in a limo and jetting off to Paris for the weekend :lol: but we work with her to make it what she wants and still stay within our budget and comfort zone.

I get not having parties for every kid every year - I was one of only 4 and no way did my parents do that. We did get to have one every 2-3 years, though, especially up to about age 13 - if we wanted one (which is really the key for me).

Edited to add one thought that's also related to the "family" aspect of all this and how big a Duggar party would have to be: My family was a mix of boys and girls and there was a bit of a spread in ages. If I was having a birthday party, frankly my siblings were not part of it once we were out of preschool age. Now, they might join us for cake and present time, but it was considered a friend thing. We'd also have a family dinner and maybe invite the grandparents, but that's not a party. Of course, the Duggars don't encourage friendships outside of the family and insist that everyone do everything together - at least for the cameras.....

[Toothfairy]

The Duggars were never modest to begin with. Modesty means not drawing attention to yourself. Having a baseball team's worth of kids will automatically draw attention to yourself, especially if they're all dressed alike in old fashioned clothing. When the Duggars and their ilk talk about "modesty" what they really mean is they believe in the Theology of the Skirt, which is not the same thing.

I wish fundies and Christians would understand it's not what you wear it's how u act. The bible says nothing about how to dress. A man will lust after you even if you're in a long skirt. You could be covered from head to toe and still a man will lust after you. It's not the woman's problem. Teach your boys how to control themselves

[Toothfairy]

My parents stopped having big parties for us when my brother was born (and even before that our "big parties" were maybe 10-15 people, which isn't even a full Duggar household) due to financial reasons. We always had dinner with the family, sometimes a joint dinner depending on people's schedules and whose birthdays we were celebrating (everyone in my family shares a birth month with someone else that we see on a very regular basis). Sometimes we might have a few friends come over or go out with a few friends (and by sometimes I mean that happened maybe 3 times), but that's it.

I never felt like I needed more or somehow deserved more. And I really don't think that the Duggar kids feel any differently. Especially considering how rare "alone with parents" time is with 18 brothers and sisters.

I think the problem for me is she views parties as a hassle. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. But you should make a child feel special on his/her birthday. I imagine with 18 siblings a duggar kid doesn't get much attention. They have to do JOY,putting others before themselves. I remember when I think it was Josiah's birthday and michelle took him to the hospital gift shoo to pick out one thing. I will admit that's kind of cheesy but at least he got to pick something for himself without his other siblings asking for something. I think for birthdays michelle should have one on one time with each kid. Take them out to dinner or lunch and let them choose a special gift for themselves. It doesn't have to be expensive. Maybe even have a day off taking care of kids.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I think the problem for me is she views parties as a hassle. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. But you should make a child feel special on his/her birthday. I imagine with 18 siblings a duggar kid doesn't get much attention. They have to do JOY,putting others before themselves. I remember when I think it was Josiah's birthday and michelle took him to the hospital gift shoo to pick out one thing. I will admit that's kind of cheesy but at least he got to pick something for himself without his other siblings asking for something. I think for birthdays michelle should have one on one time with each kid. Take them out to dinner or lunch and let them choose a special gift for themselves. It doesn't have to be expensive. Maybe even have a day off taking care of kids.

You're describing exactly what Michelle says she does. So what's the problem?

[Mama Mia]

I could swear they've done several episodes that featured a special activity or a party for various kids birthdays.

I definitely remember that Michelle and Jessa went skydiving for her 18th birthday. Also, just because they don't show a million birthday celebrations it doesn't mean they don't have them. Every single episode would have to feature a birthday party- and there still wouldn't be enough episodes to cover every kid.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I think it's important to make every child feel special for their birthday, whether you've got one kid or 19. Boy R&M has a birthday over the summer, and we did the parties for him and his friends when he was younger. We usually did them in the fall, after he went back to school, so he could invite a bunch of people - boys in particular tend to lose touch over the summer, and it always meant a lot to him that we did that so he could have more people there.

I'm probably in the minority here, but it's worrisome that Josiah was expected to pick out a "special" birthday gift from a hospital gift shop. I've been in way too many of them over the past several years not to know better. The average hospital gift shop contains bathroom toiletry items, a few snacks and drinks, decorative vases and other knick-knack items, flowers, cards, a few baby gifts and items for toddlers, pill boxes, and maybe a Hello Kitty item corner if you're lucky.

I was in one gift shop that was more upscale, and it actually sold watches, pieces of crystal, and handbags. Maybe Josiah got a nice watch that year?

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I think it's important to make every child feel special for their birthday, whether you've got one kid or 19. Boy R&M has a birthday over the summer, and we did the parties for him and his friends when he was younger. We usually did them in the fall, after he went back to school, so he could invite a bunch of people - boys in particular tend to lose touch over the summer, and it always meant a lot to him that we did that so he could have more people there.

I'm probably in the minority here, but it's worrisome that Josiah was expected to pick out a "special" birthday gift from a hospital gift shop. I've been in way too many of them over the past several years not to know better. The average hospital gift shop contains bathroom toiletry items, a few snacks and drinks, decorative vases and other knick-knack items, flowers, cards, a few baby gifts and items for toddlers, pill boxes, and maybe a Hello Kitty item corner if you're lucky.

I was in one gift shop that was more upscale, and it actually sold watches, pieces of crystal, and handbags. Maybe Josiah got a nice watch that year?

He was at the children's hospital. Many of them have toys and games and candies and such. I was just at the children's hospital here yesterday and there was a gift shop on every floor with toys and activities and treats galore.

And, when I was in the children's hospital as a child, I remember picking out a toy there. It was on par with other toy shops that I saw in the mall.

I agree that adult hospital gift shops suck, but children's hospitals have to cater to families who don't necessarily get the luxury of going to a store. So it has all sorts of things for the kids to do while they and/or their siblings are confined to the hospital.

[FJismyheadship]

Arkansas Children's Hospital has an amazing gift store. I bet Josiah found something he liked

[Cleopatra7]

He was at the children's hospital. Many of them have toys and games and candies and such. I was just at the children's hospital here yesterday and there was a gift shop on every floor with toys and activities and treats galore.

And, when I was in the children's hospital as a child, I remember picking out a toy there. It was on par with other toy shops that I saw in the mall.

I agree that adult hospital gift shops suck, but children's hospitals have to cater to families who don't necessarily get the luxury of going to a store. So it has all sorts of things for the kids to do while they and/or their siblings are confined to the hospital.

The kid who got the toy from the hospital gift shop was Jason, not Josiah. He chose a toy robot, which caused Michelle to disapprovingly say, "They didn't have toys like that when I was young," apparently forgetting about Star War, Star Trek, Lost in Space, the Twlight Zone and other sci-fi related programs that were around in her youth.

[Rescinded and Mended]

The sad thing is, the gift shop I described was at a Children's hospital. There were three total in that one, and one of them had the handbags, watches and crystal pieces.

It's nice that the Arkansas Children's Hospital has a much greater variety of gifts to choose from. :think: At least it caters to the interests of the children there. The gifts shops here are kind of baffling by comparison. I mean, huge pieces of lead crystal? :lol:

[FJismyheadship]

Last time we went, I bought Piggy Paint so I could paint my daughters nails lol. Its expensive! 9 dollars for a bottle! But they had lots of cute books and toys too. We bought her a board book too, it was only six dollars, and has lots of animals. They have a kids side and an adults side. So they really do try to cater to everyone that comes in.

[Toothfairy]

You're describing exactly what Michelle says she does. So what's the problem?

I haven't watched the show in years. So I don't really know what Michelle does unless I read her blog.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I haven't watched the show in years. So I don't really know what Michelle does unless I read her blog.

The original post quoted in this line of quotes has what Michelle says they do.

[for_the_Kitties]

I haven't watched the show in years. So I don't really know what Michelle does unless I read her blog.

J'chelle doesn't write those blog posts...

[Mama Mia]

Thinking about it, if I was one of the more introverted Duggar kids the ideal birthday celebration would be one that wasn't on camera. All that spontaneous reality means people all over, bright lights, re-taking shots, talking heads and on and on. Uggghhh.

[bostonista]

I really want one of the girls to be like, "Yeah, I'm going to hug my boyfriend normally and hold his hand before we get married." but on camera so that Boob and Michelle can't really negatively react. I just think it would be entertaining. Although, I'd worry about her once the cameras were gone for the night.

[browngrl]

I've reached the point where the sound of Michelle's and Jim Bob's voice is like finger nails on a black board for me so I don't watch the show any more. ALL my information about the Duggars is based on FJ posts - so I might be biased.

However, I don't think that a group birthday party would impact on the younger Duggerlings in the same way it might in a more normal sized family. Even under the best of circumstances - how much individual attention can the Duggars give their many many children? There are only 24 hours in a day (and time MUST be set aside for much nudge nudge wink wink fellowshipping). I think that the Duggar children have either stopped expecting or never expected much individual attention from their parents. I think the younger ones turn to their sister moms or their siblings for support/attention more than they turn to their parents.

[CynicMom]

If they really want to be old fashioned they should follow the "25 stages from courtship to marriage" that was written in the early 1900s. Note how it shows the couple kissing on date 2 and cuddling at 1am on apparently date 4!

[link=http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/the-25-stages-from-courtship-to-marriage/]http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/the-25-stages-from-courtship-to-marriage/[/link]

[Georgiana]

My great grandmother had many beau's in the early 1900's. She went out every night with a different beau, except Sunday evenings, when she would receive them all in her parlor (as was proper). I think society has become MORE conservative, because it is only socially acceptable to see one man at a time!

But, if the Duggars REALLY want me to do things the "old fashioned way", I will take one for the team and start dating 7 men at once.

[lilyanne]

If they really want to be old fashioned they should follow the "25 stages from courtship to marriage" that was written in the early 1900s. Note how it shows the couple kissing on date 2 and cuddling at 1am on apparently date 4!

[link=http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/the-25-stages-from-courtship-to-marriage/]http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/the-25-stages-from-courtship-to-marriage/[/link]

#20 didn't happen at my wedding, what IS that?! Lol

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

#20 didn't happen at my wedding, what IS that?! Lol

celebrateintimateweddings.com/lastkiss.html

[jaynie]

My great grandmother had many beau's in the early 1900's. She went out every night with a different beau, except Sunday evenings, when she would receive them all in her parlor (as was proper). I think society has become MORE conservative, because it is only socially acceptable to see one man at a time!

But, if the Duggars REALLY want me to do things the "old fashioned way", I will take one for the team and start dating 7 men at once.

I recall watching a fantastic 1950s educational video on YouTube which informed viewers of the dangers of going steady. Going Steady, you see, made it more likely you'd Park in a Car (ie. have sex) with the boy in question, god forbid. So the good girl chooses to go out with whatever nice boy asks, so that her reputation won't be damaged.

I scoff at the obsession with sex, of course, but actually I think the idea of casually dating many people in your teens is pretty sensible. More so in an era when you'd be expected to marry young. I guess they arrived at a good conclusion with bad reasoning.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

In my own mind I've equated getting "pinned" with what the Duggars do-- more than dating but less than engaged. I'm not sure what the heyday of getting pinned-- the 40's ?-- was but I know the boy pinned his class pin on the girl's sweater, an outward sign of going steady. Then for a little while girls were getting promise rings, not engagement rings exactly but a promise to be steady and think about getting engaged.

[16strong]

Pickles! They are making pickles! :lol: