Bates Wedding Part 2: Zach N Whitney

[0 kids n not countin]

They both look super happy in the photos.

I have to say Whitney's wedding dress was much better looking than Erin's. I like that she "covered up" with a shrug instead of making ridiculous modesty adjustments that (imo) just ruin the look of the dress.

[NellieBell]

I just looked at the pics and wow is she gorgeous and they both look so happy. The Duggars may want to pay a bit more attention to Gil and Kelly and their courtship rules, because by looking at these weddings they're doing something right. Of course time will be the test.

Whitney's dress is amazing. That's the way to do modest. :)

[sunshine]

So what if they kissed before their wedding day? They're consenting adults, and don't have to follow their cult's rules if they choose not to. This whole not being able to kiss before marriage is stupid.

They just want to honor God by avoiding the temptation of wanting to go further if they were to kiss.

[formergothardite]

They just want to honor God by avoiding the temptation of wanting to go further if they were to kiss.

Are you being sarcastic? The guilt and shame dumped on couples by this sort of thinking is horrible. And if they really are committed to not having sex and it isn't just mom, dad, and Gothard making them do this, then a little kiss and privacy isn't going cause them to suddenly break their commitments. It might mean that they decide that they change their ideas of what is okay and they decide to go farther than kissing, but that is okay. It is a part of growing up and finding who you really are and they should not be made to feel like they aren't honoring God if they have sex before marriage.

[scc12]

My mother cried for like a month when she found out that one of my siblings had spent the night with his girlfriend. People who think that Gil and Kelly would not flip the fuck out over even the mention of premarital sex do not realize what a big deal it is in fundie land. My mother would be upset if she discovered now that I had had sex before I got married. As far as she is concerned I was a virgin and to avoid the drama I make sure it stays that way.

same here,admit nothing! It is WAY too big of a deal to ppl like that.

I could never figure that out,other than religion,why she was that way.

Then I came across an unknown aunt when I was doing geneology work after my mom passed away.I found out her mom had a baby out of wedlock at age 17.It was in 1929,so i'm sure that was a huge deal back then.

anyway,i never even knew she existed.unfortunately she had already passed away when I finally found out about her.

My mom was so picky over that,that she never even let us know about her.And she wasn't mentioned at all in her obit.I asked my dad about her,and he admitted it.She had told him to keep quiet about her all these years.(my mom's mom passed away when she was one yr old,and her sister out of wedlock went to live w her grandparents).But she did know about her and she even came to visit her before I was born.

talk about picky.I don't think she honored the memory of her mother very well,not to even acknowledge her sister,just bc she was illegitimate.

[scc12]

Are you being sarcastic? The guilt and shame dumped on couples by this sort of thinking is horrible. And if they really are committed to not having sex and it isn't just mom, dad, and Gothard making them do this, then a little kiss and privacy isn't going cause them to suddenly break their commitments. It might mean that they decide that they change their ideas of what is okay and they decide to go farther than kissing, but that is okay. It is a part of growing up and finding who you really are and they should not be made to feel like they aren't honoring God if they have sex before marriage.

I was 12 when I had my 1st kiss.quite normal.no we didn't go further and wouldn't have known how to at that age.lol.

but I agree.fundies act like adults don't have any self-control at all.you can agree to stop at kissing.certainly one can be turned on just being around the other person.look at josh n anna when they were just holding hands.they were practically drooling over each other.

[Rosie]

All of the weddings I have been to, the minister said, Who gives this woman to be married?" Or some variation of that. The father of the bride SAS I do r her mother and I do. Then he places the bride's hand on the groom's hand. This not a transfer of authority. It's just one of those traditions. I have yet to attend a wedding where "obey" was in the marriage vows. I had never herd of a transfer of authority until I came to FJ..not even at my fundie family weddings.

"Giving the bride away" actually conflicts with Catholic theology. It is never said at a Catholic wedding Mass.

http://cathstan.org/main.asp?SectionID= ... cleID=5301

http://www.catholic.com/blog/michelle-a ... -the-bride

[Odd1Out]

The wedding kiss is more modest then most we have seen.

Is the video up somewhere??

[Odd1Out]

They both look super happy in the photos.

I have to say Whitney's wedding dress was much better looking than Erin's. I like that she "covered up" with a shrug instead of making ridiculous modesty adjustments that (imo) just ruin the look of the dress.

Is there a link to pics in this thread? I've missed it :(

[sunshine]

Are you being sarcastic? The guilt and shame dumped on couples by this sort of thinking is horrible. And if they really are committed to not having sex and it isn't just mom, dad, and Gothard making them do this, then a little kiss and privacy isn't going cause them to suddenly break their commitments. It might mean that they decide that they change their ideas of what is okay and they decide to go farther than kissing, but that is okay. It is a part of growing up and finding who you really are and they should not be made to feel like they aren't honoring God if they have sex before marriage.

No, this is the biblical foundation that Christians follow. Do all follow it? No, but the jest is everything they do is to bring honor to God.

[DarkAnts]

Is the video up somewhere??

No, but there are pictures up. They are not eating each others faces like we see in so many fundie weddings. I for one think its more modest to intimate moments private.

[feministxtian]

it looks pretty obvious they both knew what they were doing. It didn't look like one of those "oh my God, I can FINALLY kiss you, let me suck your face off" kisses like we saw with the Smuggars and TFDW and wife.

[Kelsey]

They've arrived in Hawaii and rented a convertible!

[precious_one]

I hope she wears a real bathing suit even if it is a one piece with a skirt. But she would so rock in a two piece!!

[feministxtian]

That's not just a convertible...it's a 2013 Mustang 5.0GT convertible...not exactly a "sedate, conservative" car. Its built for haulin' ass.

(I have an '04GT...I KNOW what its capable of)

[nokidsmom]

Sounds like Zach is celebrating his freedom.

[beautyandthefish]

They look so happy in all the pictures!

[formergothardite]

No, this is the biblical foundation that Christians follow. Do all follow it? No, but the jest is everything they do is to bring honor to God.

You think it is a biblical foundation, not all Christians do. I think the fundie families push no touching/kissing/being alone because they are terrified of finding out that their kids don't agree with them and have decided on their own how to honor and obey God. This is less about honoring God and more about remaining in control of their adult children.

[RosyDaisy]

Not their first kiss is my speculation. Probably not their first "time" either. Just my opinion.

A possible shotgun wedding perhaps? That would explain a lot. They may have been caught engaging in some sweet fellowshipping. I'm not saying Whitney is preggers, just that they got caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing (according to fundie rules that is). If they were sneaking off and getting some, then good for them. How a couple handles the physical aspect of their relationship before marriage is nobody's else's business.

[lizziesmom]

Sounds like Zach is celebrating his freedom.

and spending a ton of money. Convertible rentals are not cheap.

[Mela99]

and spending a ton of money. Convertible rentals are not cheap.

I say good for him.

[nokidsmom]

and spending a ton of money. Convertible rentals are not cheap.

Hawaii in general is not cheap but after 25 years of living under his controlling ATI parents' roof and crammed in with 18 other kids, I would say he's entitled to it.

Now let's hope that he enjoys that freedom so much that he stands up for it when he gets home. Because his parents will be still concerned that he's on the straight and narrow even though he's a married adult.

[socalrules]

and spending a ton of money. Convertible rentals are not cheap.

I went to Waikiki last summer and rented a convertible. It was only about $70 for 24 hours. The majority of rentals are convertibles. As long as they don't eat at the most expensive restaurants, they can have a lot of fun on a limited budget. Laying out at the beach is free and $2 will pay for a ride around the entire island on the public bus (found out by accident when I got on a bus going in the opposite direction of where I intended to go). Zach has lived his life on a low budget, be it financial or social, I hope for a honeymoon he goes all out. This is probably the first time he is actually getting a chance to be young and have fun without the parental authorities watching over his every move. I hope he and Whitney have a Mai tai and not feel guilty.

[sunshine]

You think it is a biblical foundation, not all Christians do. I think the fundie families push no touching/kissing/being alone because they are terrified of finding out that their kids don't agree with them and have decided on their own how to honor and obey God. This is less about honoring God and more about remaining in control of their adult children.

I don't deny that people go overboard over one aspect of their faith.

[formergothardite]

Slavery also has strong biblical foundations but it was a shitty idea and most people have seen the light on that one. Let's hope that all this purity stuff goes the same way.

I suspect that Gil and Kelly will try to make sure that Zach stays on the narrow path of ATI and since he has been raised to believe that he must always obey his father even after he is married it might be a struggle for him to overcome his raising, but I hope he does.