Bates Wedding Part 2: Zach N Whitney

[Arete]

I wonder if they did the typical fundie "passing of ownership" from the Dad to the groom.... :think: That could tell which direction they will go.

That passing of ownership is very specific to Quiverfull/ATI/VF fundies. If I am not mistaken, they were married by Whitney's dad. So I am going to guess that a transfer of authority was not a part of this wedding.

[Mela99]

Knee length bridesmaid dresses!! At least the MOH - her sister?

Is her dad a minister too?

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Knee length bridesmaid dresses!! At least the MOH - her sister?

Is her dad a minister too?

I think that's her sister and yes her dad is a Baptist minister

[silverspoons]

Are there any pics found inside the reception? I saw a picture of them leaving a event venue called 205 Main, which is in Clinton, TN. I looked up the 205 Main website and it looks like they have a stage, music, pool tables, bars, and dance floors. Now I'm sure the place could be changed to be bland but why not use the church hall for free if they wanted bland?

I'm very curious if they had music, or a more normal reception?? one can hope!

[scc12]

don't most weddings still include the phrase 'who giveth this woman away?" when her father or another SO walks down the ailse (sp) with her? is it more detail for fundies than that?

[scc12]

Several people have suggested that Zach may be planning to escape ATI and his new in-laws may be good to turn to for support. I don't think I've seen anyone suggest that maybe Whitney's parents had a sit-down with Zach and told him, "Son, you are a nice young man. We like you and obviously you love our daughter. But, that crazy ATI business must go. Look at us: we are a godly family, I am a pastor, we are good Christians. You can marry Whitney, but that ATI stuff has to go." Maybe Whit's parents have pressured Zach and Whit to go more mainstream.

yes,I was just thinking that if someone from a family like that wanted to marry my daughter,we sure would all sit down together and have a good chat! top 'o the list would be the legalism and treating my daughter as if she were prime breeding stock.

[BullyJBG]

Several people have suggested that Zach may be planning to escape ATI and his new in-laws may be good to turn to for support. I don't think I've seen anyone suggest that maybe Whitney's parents had a sit-down with Zach and told him, "Son, you are a nice young man. We like you and obviously you love our daughter. But, that crazy ATI business must go. Look at us: we are a godly family, I am a pastor, we are good Christians. You can marry Whitney, but that ATI stuff has to go." Maybe Whit's parents have pressured Zach and Whit to go more mainstream.

I don't think they would've said it that way. That would sound just as controlling. They may have expressed their concerns about ATI stuff, and encouraged both of them to search the Bible for themselves, go to THEIR church some Sundays, and carefully evaluate why they would do what ATIers do.(ie, wear skirts only, wife's ONLY career is in the home, no birth control, etc) And, perhaps this is what Kelly meant by "he teaches us more than we teach him". The "letting go" thing is a work in progress. We'll see what happens from here

[marmalade]

don't most weddings still include the phrase 'who giveth this woman away?" when her father or another SO walks down the ailse (sp) with her? is it more detail for fundies than that?

Gil stood at the altar to begin the ceremony. Whitney's father walked her down the aisle. For the first kiss, it looks like both "preacher" fathers were on stage, so maybe they co-led the wedding?

Also, JD was just a groomsman. He just basically had to show up and put on a rented suit. All of these particular shenanigans are courtesy of Andy Leftwich, the actual Best Man.

[Mela99]

don't most weddings still include the phrase 'who giveth this woman away?" when her father or another SO walks down the ailse (sp) with her? is it more detail for fundies than that?

Most of them do. Least every one I've been to this year has. I made it a point to tell the priest that that was a huge no-no for ours.

[freedomjesusfootball]

Most of them do. Least every one I've been to this year has. I made it a point to tell the priest that that was a huge no-no for ours.

I think this is a regional thing. I have been to many weddings where this was not asked (but I have a lot of feminist-modern friends). In my wedding, it was not asked. The reverend asked if the guests would pledge to support us as a couple, and they said "we will". There was not a hint of an authority transfer. I was then and remain still under my own authority. I got married in a Methodist church. My sister was married in a Baptist church and there was no giving away of her either. And secular weddings definitely do not.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

So this is allegedly their blog

zachandwhitney.blogspot.com/

Three new selfies of them here

zachandwhitney.blogspot.com/2013/12/headed-to-hawaii.html?m=1

[Guest]

Awe they look so happy in those pictures! I really have a lot of hope for these two.

[PennySycamore]

Most of them do. Least every one I've been to this year has. I made it a point to tell the priest that that was a huge no-no for ours.

Catholic brides are NOT traditionally given away and that wording was not in the marriage ceremony. The couple are understood to administer the sacrament of Holy Matrimony to each other. I don't think that Jewish brides are given away either. The giving the bride away seems to be mostly a Protestant thing.

[Ellimenopy]

So this is allegedly their blog

zachandwhitney.blogspot.com/

Three new selfies of them here

zachandwhitney.blogspot.com/2013/12/headed-to-hawaii.html?m=1

Oh, this is adorable! I'm so happy for them!

[GeoBQn]

Zach AND Whitney.blogspot.com? Not ZachLovesWhitney? But that can't be . . .

[DrPusey]

I swear Zach has gotten better-looking, just in the wedding and blog pictures. Must be because he's happy.

[Ralar]

I swear Zach has gotten better-looking, just in the wedding and blog pictures. Must be because he's happy.

He looks less bloated & puffy.

[Ralar]

I don't think they would've said it that way. That would sound just as controlling. They may have expressed their concerns about ATI stuff, and encouraged both of them to search the Bible for themselves, go to THEIR church some Sundays, and carefully evaluate why they would do what ATIers do.(ie, wear skirts only, wife's ONLY career is in the home, no birth control, etc) And, perhaps this is what Kelly meant by "he teaches us more than we teach him". The "letting go" thing is a work in progress. We'll see what happens from here

I was being a bit dramatic and sarcastic. I think you understand my point.

[colliemae]

Catholic brides are NOT traditionally given away and that wording was not in the marriage ceremony. The couple are understood to administer the sacrament of Holy Matrimony to each other. I don't think that Jewish brides are given away either. The giving the bride away seems to be mostly a Protestant thing.

In most of the weddings I've attended (including my own), the phrase was "who presents this woman to be married?" and then either both parents answer "we do," or the father says "her mother and I do."

[feministxtian]

When my husband and I got married, the preacher asked that question...my children answered "we do". It was kind of special and a validation of their happiness that me and the hub were getting hitched (finally).

[Arete]

In most of the weddings I've attended (including my own), the phrase was "who presents this woman to be married?" and then either both parents answer "we do," or the father says "her mother and I do."

Orthodox Christian brides are also not "given away". Still, the transfer of authority in ATI/VF/Quiverfull weddings goes way beyond the "who gives this woman to be married to this man?" that you would hear at mainline Protestant weddings. In the transfer of authority, they actually talk about the bride being "transferred to her huband's authority", not given away, and a lot of them spell out what this transfer means. It really is and ownership switch.

[Adrienne83]

In most of the weddings I've attended (including my own), the phrase was "who presents this woman to be married?" and then either both parents answer "we do," or the father says "her mother and I do."

Mine had that also.

[scc12]

From the looks of it all,this is the wedding Whitney and her parents wanted,and yes,Zach too.Right down to the wedding attire,and the reception at a fairly mod place.I doubt there was any alchohol,but I wonder if there was any dancing?

The Bates don't appear to have had much control over it,probably much to their chagrin.Well tough luck and too bad.They can't control everything their offspring do,and I think they are finding that out now.If they haven't had their beliefs and ideals called into question by close family members by now,then it's about time.I think it would be good for them.

[RosyDaisy]

don't most weddings still include the phrase 'who giveth this woman away?" when her father or another SO walks down the ailse (sp) with her? is it more detail for fundies than that?

All of the weddings I have been to, the minister said, Who gives this woman to be married?" Or some variation of that. The father of the bride SAS I do r her mother and I do. Then he places the bride's hand on the groom's hand. This not a transfer of authority. It's just one of those traditions. I have yet to attend a wedding where "obey" was in the marriage vows. I had never herd of a transfer of authority until I came to FJ..not even at my fundie family weddings.

[RosyDaisy]

From the looks of it all,this is the wedding Whitney and her parents wanted,and yes,Zach too.Right down to the wedding attire,and the reception at a fairly mod place.I doubt there was any alchohol,but I wonder if there was any dancing?

The Bates don't appear to have had much control over it,probably much to their chagrin.Well tough luck and too bad.They can't control everything their offspring do,and I think they are finding that out now.If they haven't had their beliefs and ideals called into question by close family members by now,then it's about time.I think it would be good for them.

Well the Bates ladies convinced her to wear skirts. When it came to wedding planning, Whitney's parents probably left the the Bateses out of the look. Mark my words, she will become a keeping sweet, obedient helpmeet. I'm not 100% convinced that Zach has stopped drinking the koolaid.