How feminine are ya?

[Ms Jess]

How feminine am I? Not very. Even when I do apply makeup and wear a dress and heels, I suspect I'd look far too trampy for the likes of this quiz.

[Khan]

:) Hmm. I do seem to be failing at femininity. Growing out long hair to donate seems to be my only ladylike attribute. Most days I'm dressed like the lass on the left. I got her purse at a flea market. I must practice my caveman walk. I'm sure it will amuse my coworkers.

[Khan]

I'm in agreement with you, Hand. The arms behind the back thing strikes me as a tiny intro to bondage. "Present boobies!"

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Yeah, I shave my head so I feel like I automatically lose all these femininity tests. Though I'm growing it way out to about an inch and a half for winter because it gets sub-zero (F) here and I don't like my stubble sticking to my wool hats.

I've had short hair forever (shaved at the edges/back, but inch and half or so at the top - pretty normal "generic guy hair"), and CONSTANTLY people ask me, "why don't you grow out your hair, doesn't it get cold in the winter?"

NO, of course it doesn't, because I WEAR A HAT, and a SCARF. Having short hair means I never have to worry about "hat head" or how my hairstyle will get messed up if I put a hat on.

[moodygirl86]

Ooh, I love these tests! Actually, I got more "feminine" ones than I thought but have still scored slightly more on the "masculine" list.

FEMININE

1) I guess I do have a trim, disciplined figure, both by a quirk of genetics and I maintain this by doing weights each morning and walking where I can.

2) Definitely more vital than sluggish

3) Modesty in dress? Probably not by their standards but I don't dress revealingly either, so I'd have to say yes to that one.

4) I've always got a friendly smile for you

5) Dunno about "delicate" fragrance but I love my daily showers and use deodorant throughout the day, so yes I'm always fresh.

6) Not a smoker, never have been

7) Yes, I'll speak pleasantly. Pleasantness should be the trait of a decent human being, not a gendered trait.

8) Ditto kindness of the tongue.

9) Ditto thoughtfulness.

10) If sincerity is being yourself, then yeah.

11) Forgiving and forgetting, within reason. If someone hurts me, I don't "hold grudges" as in wanting revenge or wishing ill on them. That doesn't mean I have to keep them in my life for them to hurt me again.

12) I have as much dignity/self respect as anyone, again, why is this a gendered virtue?

13) Same with integrity.

14) Same with honour/virtue although I don't think half these words mean what the compiler of the list think they do.

15) Yes, optimism has helped me through some quite hard times.

16) I also think I manage to be self-confident without being arrogant.

17) Currently "sexually pure" if they mean not promiscuous/not currently sleeping with anybody. Might lose points on that though for not being a virgin. I popped my cherry at 19 to a man I wasn't married to, though we went out together for two years.

MASCULINE (now the really fun list!)

1) Unkempt appearance,

2) Don't own any skirts, dresses, high heels or anything with pink on it. On Wednesday, we had a "pink theme" day at work (part of National Customer Service Week), and I was the only one without anything pink. I'm currently sitting here in black bondage pants, flame New Rock boots and a black/white/red checked shirt.

3) Daring styles - I've had abuse shouted at me from strangers for my goth/punk appearance and don't give a fuck.

4) Over-display in dress - yeah, guilty as per number 3 on this list.

5) I don't know if you would call black eyeliner/black nail varnish "gawdy", but it's definitely not natural either, so yeah, I'm including that.

6) Mannish short hairstyle - it's also spiked up and recently dyed blood red.

7) My fingers are stained more often than not due to never being without a biro to jot notes down with, whether that's at work or writing down ideas for lyrics.

8) I'm drinking a can of lager as we speak.

9) I love off colour jokes.

10) I'll read anything as long as it's got an interesting plot and lots of funny bits. If that includes smut, more power.

11) Ungainly walk - it's kind of hard to be graceful when you're 5'7 with big tits but I don't give a fuck as long as I get where I need to go

12) I'll sprawl if it's more comfortable to do so

13) Ditto slouching

14) I've been accused of shouting even when deliberately lowering my voice, so clearly can't help being loud

15) Slangy expressions are masculine? Jeez, scuse me for being working class and not going to fucking Eton!

16) Swearing can feel so fucking good

17) Yeah, if someone's being wrong or unfair, damn right I'll argue the toss

18) I'm generally easygoing but I'll explode when there's a need for it

19) I can put the lads to shame on a night out with rowdiness. Maybe Mum should've had a few more girls to keep me company instead of all those brothers, then I wouldn't be in this mess.

Where do I report for femininity indoctrination camp?

[Arete]

16) Swearing can feel so fucking good

This. Also, unlike smoking, it is free. That should earn some points for the virtue of frugality.

[GolightlyGrrl]

This. Also, unlike smoking, it is free. That should earn some points for the virtue of frugality.

Fuck yeah! And even the very lady-like and feminine Audrey Hepburn admitted she cussed. Girlfriend was keeping it real.

[Boogalou]

What if your short, mannish haircut is also soft and clean?

I was going to ask the same question. Also, is being dirty really considered a masculine quality? If so... gross.

[snarktastic]

Well, I'm sitting here in my trackie bottoms and old hoodie swigging a beer so instant fail for me! (I am clean though. Just had a bath. Does that get me any Jesus points?)

Follow the links in the comments to the Christian Charm book reviews on Amazon - hilarious. This one reads like a spoof but I've googled the name and I have a horrible feeling she's for real.

Firstly I think I should explain the term "charm", as southern girls we were sent to "charm" school as young ladies. In charm school we learned social graces, needle point, mine even taught penmanship. This book was actually used during my time as a young girl to educate me in the basics of beauty and social grace. Here I am, nearly two decades later, purchasing the book to use in my own home for my daughters. As Americans,even in the church, perhaps especially in the church, we have drifted so far from God's best that anything that calls us to a life of submission, grace, and feminity seems to ruffle our feathers. The ideas in this book are completely opposite of the nazi-feminist culture we live in, but they are not ungodly or harmful in anyway. I am the homeschooling mother of 8 and take great care in the reading material I choose for my children, I recommend this book.

Can't find a blog for her sadly!

[already hungover]

Yeah, I shave my head so I feel like I automatically lose all these femininity tests. Though I'm growing it way out to about an inch and a half for winter because it gets sub-zero (F) here and I don't like my stubble sticking to my wool hats.

I'm pretty jealous. I have short hair but my head is kind of gigantic so shaving it is not so flattering.

[fun2beme]

I saw this a few weeks ago while shopping. The advice was so over the top and Lady Lydia-like that I thought it was a satire. Was going to buy it for my unfeminine girlfriends for a good laugh, but alas, not for $32. A reviewer on Amazon called it "monumentally disturbing."

http://www.brooksbrothers.com/50-Things-a-Young-Lady-Should-Know/TB00006,default,pd.html

[FloraKitty35]

I would pass the posture section with flying colors, but beyond that I flunked femininity. I started shaving my head 2 years ago and I wear wigs. I also have more tattoos than teeth (I want more of them) and I am built like my Dutch peasant ancestors.

[Rachel333]

Hey, I'm more feminine than I thought. I don't ever wear revealing clothes (though my mannish attire kind of cancels that out--dresses make me feel like I'm in drag) and wear minimal makeup at most. These days I don't drink or smoke, I'm quiet, and I rarely swear. I'm sprawling in boxers right now, though, so I'm not particularly ladylike at the moment.

It's ridiculous that all the positive personality traits are feminine qualities. What are they trying to say about men there?

[moodygirl86]

Hey, I'm more feminine than I thought. I don't ever wear revealing clothes (though my mannish attire kind of cancels that out--dresses make me feel like I'm in drag) and wear minimal makeup at most. These days I don't drink or smoke, I'm quiet, and I rarely swear. I'm sprawling in boxers right now, though, so I'm not particularly ladylike at the moment.

It's ridiculous that all the positive personality traits are feminine qualities. What are they trying to say about men there?

I noticed that too, but I think coming from a man they find those traits acceptable, they just don't want women displaying them. Or something.

[fun2beme]

Well, my ultra-devout, skirt-wearing, abortion protesting Catholic friend, who homeschools her 5 kids (under 9) took the test and is also not feminine. But she left her husband (I suspect cheating or abuse on his end) so she's doomed anyway.

[Dinorah]

Yikes, I match most of those! I'm almost perfectly feminine, though I do drink and swear occasionally.

[Shoes Grace]

I feel like there should be an accompanying make-up instruction pamphlet entitled: Gawdy or Godly? A guide to make-up for the Christian Countenance. (And we can give it to the Duggar girls, I'm sure orange is not godly.)

I wonder where they stole the girl on the left from. She's a different art style than the other girl, and, actually, she's been drawn with a feminine cut to her clothes- the ballooning of the sleeves, length of the pants and the size of her belt are all subtle differences between a woman wearing clothes fitted for her figure or simply buying from the men's section. The fact that the fundies can't tell the difference is unsurprising, subtle is not their bag.

[docmom]

I have two X chromosomes and no Y chromosomes. I am feminine regardless of what I choose to do with my hair, skirt or body.

[Savoring Samsara]

What on earth do they mean by a style that is both older and daring? Is it masculine to dress like a cougar?

Anyway, I'm pretty unfeminine according to this list. I've got a flabby figure, an unkempt appearance, a short hairdo, and I drink. However, all of those things are on account of being a mother of a toddler - good luck keeping up your "soft, clean hair" and "trim, disciplined body" while chasing around one of the tiniest and most destructive forces in the universe. So apparently giving birth is as masculine as fuck now. I'm so confused.

[Peppercorn]

Well, this is amusing. Another thread had a link to a written-word gender identifier. I put in 300 words from a published romance novel and it told me I am male. Then I did this test, wholly expecting to be unfeminine but dammit I am just not manly enough despite being a trouser-wearing slovenly sprawling feminist. Ha!

Such confusion. If my fingers are stained with paint from doing pretty girly artwork, where do I rank? And I don't smell like tobacco but neither do I have a "delicate fragrance". In fact my hair smells like wood smoke at the moment...but then again it's also long. And it is soft. But not terribly clean, because I did not take a shower this morning. I think that proves I'm definitely a man, right?

It's ridiculous that all the positive personality traits are feminine qualities. What are they trying to say about men there?

Funny how these things can get twisted either way. My mother went back to college when she was in her early forties, about twenty years ago. One of her text books had a list of so-called masculine and feminine qualities. The masculine qualities were: strong, straightforward, confident, brave, logical, etc. Feminine: weak, manipulative, soft-spoken, emotional, meek, etc. (There might have been a few more flattering words like beautiful and graceful. Bleh.) She was the first to speak up in protest. Yay, Mom!

[Peppercorn]

I would pass the posture section with flying colors, but beyond that I flunked femininity. I started shaving my head 2 years ago and I wear wigs. I also have more tattoos than teeth (I want more of them) and I am built like my Dutch peasant ancestors.

More tattoos or more teeth? ;)

I've actually seen hockey players with more tats than teeth. :D <---wishing we had a blacked-out tooth smiley

[Minerva]

Problem: my figure is trim but "disciplined" can't possibly be applied to any aspect of me.

I think I'm pretty feminine, but I failed that test. And there wasn't even a question about keeping your legs bald.

[RachelB]

I am "unladylike" on the following counts:

Sluggishness (not always, but right now)

Mannish attire (I wear pants at least twice in an average week; still wear dresses and skirts more than most women I know, though)

Mannish short hairdos (no longer a 1/4-inch buzz, but a close crop nonetheless)

Deadpan face (will smile when there's a reason)

Ungainly walk (not ungainly IMO, but brisk, with little to no hip sway; one of my aunts insists I walk like a boy, whatever that means)

Slouching (I am the wrong size for this chair, okay?)

Swearing (not all the time, but sometimes it's called for)

Pessimism (works for me-- I'm either right or pleasantly surprised)

Smutty books (I'm assuming that my stash of queer theory counts toward this)

Unchastity

Debatable:

Quarrelsome spirit (I will argue passionately over literary interpretation in class or scriptural interpretation at church, but hate real fighting)

Revealing clothes (no sleeves today, and you can tell I have breasts, but any time I ask, "Is this too hoochy to wear?," the answer is, "Do you live in Provo?")

[Artemis]

I saw this a few weeks ago while shopping. The advice was so over the top and Lady Lydia-like that I thought it was a satire. Was going to buy it for my unfeminine girlfriends for a good laugh, but alas, not for $32. A reviewer on Amazon called it "monumentally disturbing."

http://www.brooksbrothers.com/50-Things-a-Young-Lady-Should-Know/TB00006,default,pd.html

I find it really funny that what is clearly meant to be a dainty handbag on the front cover looks like a padlock.

Bondage, anyone?

[salsa]

What on earth do they mean by a style that is both older and daring? Is it masculine to dress like a cougar?

Anyway, I'm pretty unfeminine according to this list. I've got a flabby figure, an unkempt appearance, a short hairdo, and I drink. However, all of those things are on account of being a mother of a toddler - good luck keeping up your "soft, clean hair" and "trim, disciplined body" while chasing around one of the tiniest and most destructive forces in the universe. So apparently giving birth is as masculine as fuck now. I'm so confused.

I wondered about that, too. Apparently, this was given to a class of future preachers' wives. I suppose the presumption (beside the fact that the preacher's wife is his accessory) would have been that they were all first-career and in their 20's - thus, the "girlish" clothing. What are they going to wear when they're 50 or 60 or70? I *hate* girlish clothing on anyone over 30 and even 27 or 28 is pushing it. There comes a time to "put away childish things," no? But even then, how is a more mature look more "daring?" I don't get "daring"