Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Vive La France

[happy atheist]

A few more.

[happy atheist]

This is my first introduction to Helena and family. Do they live without electricity? What religion are they? Are they skirts only?

No, not skirts only:

[Cheetah]

Diving into the Helena/ Currawong stuff for the first time. It's just a little too much crazy without quite enough normalcy for really good snarking for me BUT it just hit me that Hellena (2 l's? just 1? ) and Anna (Keller) Duggar's mom could have been separated at birth..... does anyone else see that or have I had too much fermented Welches already tonight?

[Verin Sedai]

Did anyone save the entry she did last December about how she hit Currawong for complaining about having to do everything with the kids and house while she laid in bed contemplating the universe, and then to cool off she went and laid in bed and contemplated the universe and then came back out to tell Currawong that the universe told her that she was too righteous and above his shit? Or something? Because that one was awesome.

[miffy]

Midwife. 4 year university degree and practical supervised and accredited training. End of.

I detest how my profession as a nurse in any discipline is portrayed in different countries. These people work fecking hard to attain their professional qualification.

IMO a homebirth attended by an RN would be safer than a homebirth attended by a lay midwife, because the RN is guaranteed to understand anatomy, be able to check vital signs etc.

[atheistpride]

Hellena's birth was extremely reckless and dangerous. She is damn lucky both of the twins survived. She used a midwife who presided over several deaths. She had multiple risk factors and then it took way to long for the second baby to be born. I didn't get read the whole thing. I only got to the part where it had been over 12 hours. The first baby was born limp and blue and then they were fine with the second one taking so long. I'm sorry all bodies don't know what to do. It is frustrating how we have gone so medicalized but doing that is not the answer it is reckless. I have been hearing a lot of people who do risky things and people with barely no experience having unassisted childbirths. I remember a while back on mothering someone was doing a study in the unassisted section and there were several deaths and the rate was high. I am one of the few natural moms in my area who don't support these negligent midwives who are responsible for baby deaths and who wants better and more certification.

[Ariel]

I remember Hellena and Currawong made some noise a while back about people out to hurt them and they stopped being public on the internet for a bit. Did anyone ever figure out what caused all the hubbub?

[Patsy]

For the record, I think it's pretty uncool to post someone else's stuff that they took down. I know "the internet is forever", but that's more like posting someone's private facebook post than linking to a web archive record of an old post.

[ladyaudley]

but that's more like posting someone's private facebook post than linking to a web archive record of an old post.

except it is not and never was a private post. it was a public blog and what happyatheist is doing is the same as, say, the wayback machine.

[pikachu]

I couldn't read the whole birth story. I had to stop after the part where she got herself a nice dose of sex and semen after the first twin was born. The cord was hanging down, she had just pushed a baby out, she was still in labor with the other baby, and she had sex!! This has got to be one of the biggest WTF internet moments ever.

[OkToBeTakei]

For the record, I think it's pretty uncool to post someone else's stuff that they took down. I know "the internet is forever", but that's more like posting someone's private facebook post than linking to a web archive record of an old post.

Actually despite what I said earlier I tend to agree with this. I did see it all first time around but she did make it private. One of the things we do all tend to say here is that public is fair game, so although when we first saw it, it was, now she has made it private.

[lilith]

I couldn't read the whole birth story. I had to stop after the part where she got herself a nice dose of sex and semen after the first twin was born. The cord was hanging down, she had just pushed a baby out, she was still in labor with the other baby, and she had sex!! This has got to be one of the biggest WTF internet moments ever.

She has clarified that it was mutual oral sex, which does make it slightly less horrific.

[August]

IMO a homebirth attended by an RN would be safer than a homebirth attended by a lay midwife, because the RN is guaranteed to understand anatomy, be able to check vital signs etc.

No, because the RN would say 'fucking hell! I know sweet FA about birth, let's find you an expert to keep you and your baby safe, honey.'

It's not so much about taking your blood pressure, it's about what they can do when a cord or a foot shows up in the vagina or, god forbid, the baby turtles. And, for that matter, listening to a baby sounds like quite a learned skill.

What kills me about UC especially is that if you have a proper midwife they will keep you from panicking and going to the hospital when you don't need to, which is a more likely outcome than death. Since these women seem mostly focussed on avoiding the hospital, it seems like that would be a reasonable compromise.

[OkToBeTakei]

No, because the RN would say 'fucking hell! I know sweet FA about birth, let's find you an expert to keep you and your baby safe, honey.'

It's not so much about taking your blood pressure, it's about what they can do when a cord or a foot shows up in the vagina or, god forbid, the baby turtles. And, for that matter, listening to a baby sounds like quite a learned skill.

What kills me about UC especially is that if you have a proper midwife they will keep you from panicking and going to the hospital when you don't need to, which is a more likely outcome than death. Since these women seem mostly focussed on avoiding the hospital, it seems like that would be a reasonable compromise.

Exactly. I am a nurse not a midwife. I did a 4 month rotation in maternity during my training. THIS does not qualify me to do eff all really in childbirth. I could probably ascertain problems in the mother but let's face it by then it is too late.

Specialities are just that. Some general nurses take years specialising in one field, just as midwives specialise in differing aspects of their field.

[chaotic life]

The problem with midwifery in the US is that there are basically two categories. There is CNM, which is a midwife who has her bachelors in nursing and then has graduate level training in midwifery beyond that. Then, there is "lay midwife" which may or may not encompass CPM (Certified Professional Midwife). There is not a national recognition of midwives who train in any manner other than CNMs and therefore there is no consistency to it. In general, a CPM has training similar to a CNM except she did not start with the nursing background. Instead, she has a Bachelor's degree in midwifery and several hundred births where she apprenticed before sitting for the professional exam. This training would be on par with what other nations do for midwives. Since it's not legal in every state though, it is not consistent and guaranteed to be how a CPM gets her training. CPM means you passed the NARM exams which in states where lay midwifery is legal then qualifies you to practice similiarily to CNMs. In other states, NARM certification is not required and even NARM certification does not require a college degree in midwifery. They do a portfolio review to determine if you have an equivalent level of education.

CPM is better educated than a lay midwife. I'm told it typically takes five years of education and preceptorship to achieve NARM certification and be a CPM in the US. However, in states where midwifery is not legal outside of CNMs, there is NO guarantee any midwife has any consistent training.

For instance, in the Amish and Mennonite communities, all that is required to call yourself a midwife is that you are second at exactly five births. You can then hang your own shingle and are never required to be further trained.

[DomWackTroll]

She has clarified that it was mutual oral sex, which does make it slightly less horrific.

Can't you just see Currawong casually moving the cord out of the way like "no big whoop" as he prepares to chow down? That's not eating at the Y, it's eating at the "WHYYYYYYYY?!!!"

[formergothardite]

Can't you just see Currawong casually moving the cord out of the way like "no big whoop" as he prepares to chow down? That's not eating at the Y, it's eating at the "WHYYYYYYYY?!!!"

I was trying not to think of this when she said mutual oral sex. :brain-bleach:

[happy atheist]

She has clarified that it was mutual oral sex, which does make it slightly less horrific.

When did she say it was 69? I don't think I ever saw that.

[lilith]

When did she say it was 69? I don't think I ever saw that.

In a comment on her blog, she was saying we must have incredibly boring and unimaginative sex lives if we assumed that the mid birth sex was vaginal and penetrative, and she said that they had mutual oral to get the benefit of both her orgasm and his semen.

[happy atheist]

In a comment on her blog, she was saying we must have incredibly boring and unimaginative sex lives if we assumed that the mid birth sex was vaginal and penetrative, and she said that they had mutual oral to get the benefit of both her orgasm and his semen.

How can ingesting semen help labor? Doesn't it need to be applied, er, topically?

[lilith]

Can't you just see Currawong casually moving the cord out of the way like "no big whoop" as he prepares to chow down? That's not eating at the Y, it's eating at the "WHYYYYYYYY?!!!"

And her blowing him, mid labor, umbilical cord dangling, newborn crying,...... Seriously, much as I love Partner, I can't imagine giving him a blowjob (or him wanting me to!!!) in those circumstances.

[lilith]

How can ingesting semen help labor? Doesn't it need to be applied, er, topically?

I thought it did. Maybe she spat. Or snowballed before sending Currawong back down. And now I feel a little ill.

[formergothardite]

In a comment on her blog, she was saying we must have incredibly boring and unimaginative sex lives if we assumed that the mid birth sex was vaginal and penetrative, and she said that they had mutual oral to get the benefit of both her orgasm and his semen.

Maybe I lack authenticity, but I thought semen didn't help with labor if taken orally? I don't really understand what happened with their mid birth sex. Did they just have oral sex or was it oral sex and then vaginal sex? Do I really even want to know?

[happy atheist]

Maybe I lack authenticity, but I thought semen didn't help with labor if taken orally? I don't really understand what happened with their mid birth sex. Did they just have oral sex or was it oral sex and then vaginal sex? Do I really even want to know?

I don't think we really want to know, but I am somewhat surprised that they didn't post pictures of whatever it was.

[FundieFanBoy]

From the rules:

* Do NOT post private information about individuals. Private information includes information gleaned from private Facebook pages, private message boards and forums, and invite only blogs, UNLESS the individual in question verifies with an admin or media relations that posting such info here is ok. That is the only way such info is allowed. Unverified third party posting is absolutely unacceptable in all circumstances.

So mods are allowed to break the rules but other members can not? I am pretty sure posting Hellena's private blog posts (not private at the time but most certainly private now!) is absolutely in violation of the rules. Not to mention just a shitty thing to do, since she clearly said she went private because of concerns for her family.

Regardless of the level of craycray found on her blog, it is insanely obvious that she loves her children and her husband and that they are good parents. Making fun of her art? Also shitty. She never asked you to wear it.

I'm all about snarking on those who deserve it (Lauren, who this topic is about, for example) but this just seems really, really low. Like WTF low.