Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Vive La France

[happy atheist]

Latest developments: Lauren has gone to France for a two week holiday without the girls. She left all 4 daughters (ages 3 - 8) in the bus, in the company of a woman named Alice. Lauren met Alice in Bali a few months ago, and watched Alice's child while Alice ran off for the weekend to have an affair. Lauren asked on Facebook for another adult to be "present" for the children, and for a place to park the bus (and children) while she's gone.

 

Will she come back? If she does, will she know where her children are? Will she care?

 

Some history: Lauren and David Fisher had 5 Children: Aisha (sometimes called Aïcha), Brioni (originally Stephanie), Calista (or is it Callista?), Delaney (now Lana), and Elijah. They quit their jobs and let other people live in their house rent-free while they travelled Australia and New Zealand in various modified trucks, practicing unchurching, unschooling and unparenting. The children forage for food, do not have to brush their teeth, or go to bed. David's sanity slipped away as they distanced themselves from anything conventional, culminating in an unknown amount of marital discord, and David's murder of 7-month-old Elijah.

 

In the year since Elijah's death, David has been in custody. His hearings keep being postponed, and little is known about his legal situation. It is speculated that he's being held in a psychiatric center.

 

Lauren and the girls lived in the shed/warehouse behind the family home for a couple months, until Lauren managed to beg enough money from internet strangers to purchase a Coaster, which is a sort of mini-bus. Now she and the girls are back to traveling around Australia. Lauren neglects the girls to a great extent, and denies them and herself the opportunity to grieve. Even though Elijah was drowned in a river, she made a point of pushing the girls into swimming and other water activities, and often posts photos of them playing in unsafe waterways while she herself hangs back to take pictures.

 

She proudly talks of how she's worked hard to have the girls not view their father's infanticide as a negative, but rather as neutral.

 

Things were fucked up with this family long before Elijah's death. In Africa after their wedding, they smuggled a child (possibly an orphan) across the border for medical treatment. They did not speak his language, and there was no plan to take him home after his treatment. Their oldest daughter was lost in the bush on Christmas Eve with a man the family had just met, and Lauren did not alert the authorities. At a Chinese New Year parade, the adults lost track of several of the children, including the toddler, and were unconcerned. While staying in a city, they befriended the local drug dealer in order to use her shower. In NZ, Lauren took the baby and hitchhiked to a city to buy a car, leaving David and the girls stranded. She did not tell David she was leaving. The list goes on.

 

They have just acquired 3 pet rats, which will travel with them in the bus and enjoy their sparkling adventures. We hope the rats do not share the fate of the Fisher's dog, which was "accidentally" poisoned when they could not find a new home for it.

 

SparklingAdventures.com - be aware that there is a link on the homepage that will take you to photos of dead baby Elijah in the morgue

 

FJ discussion:

Part 1: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11137

Part 2: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14804

Part 3: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=15960

Part 4: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=18273

[meep]

Has she said anything on WHY she has gone to France *without* her children???

[thoughtful]

Has she said anything on WHY she has gone to France *without* her children???

Oh, meep -- having reasons for things and explaining oneself is so inauthentic!

Love the title for the new installment, HA!

[gustava]

Why haven't the authorities intervened?

[chaotic life]

Pretty sure she's up to four rats at this point. She posted the hold out child finally decided she wanted a rat as well and she posted pictures of the new rat she added to the first three.

[sparkles]

I'm afraid to ask because I'm pretty sure I know the answer. Are these free-range, disease-ridden scavenger type rats like I see in the NYC subways all the time or pet-store rats?

Hoping against hope it's the latter...

[happy atheist]

I'm afraid to ask because I'm pretty sure I know the answer. Are these free-range, disease-ridden scavenger type rats like I see in the NYC subways all the time or pet-store rats?

Hoping against hope it's the latter...

Pet store rats. So, there's that at least.

Has she said anything on WHY she has gone to France *without* her children???

It's a hard life and she deserves a break! She doesn't work, she doesn't have a house to clean or maintain, she doesn't bother with hygiene for her kids, and she doesn't put forth any effort to educate them either (they have iPads!). And just a few months ago she spent an entire month in Bali. So.

She's so obviously running away from her responsibilities and the reality of her life.

[August]

Why haven't the authorities intervened?

They did after Elijah was murdered. They made Lauren buy car seats and a bus with seats for everyone.

I find parenting very stressful and emotionally draining. I need to have time on my own to recharge so that I can be the mother my children deserve and to be able to enjoy spending time with them. I make sure I have this time by putting them in school and preschool. I also trade children with my trusted well-known friends so that we all get breaks and one-on one time with some of our kids. My house is also a very safe environment so that when we're home I can pretty much let them do anything and I can relax because I know they'll be safe. Sometimes my children are feeling particularly emotionally needy, so at those times I make sure I am extra attentive.

What I don't do is ensure that it's all on me, 24/7 to provide every need in an uncontrolled space so that I must be on high alert at all times. No school, no neighbors or friends nearby, no safe place to put the children while I sleep in or nap, no co-parent to do the dishes when I'm drained or sick. No wonder she's burned out. But it's her own fucking fault, and those children need her to be there, to be reassuring them that she will never ever leave the way daddy did. She doesn't get to fuck off for a two week sex tour of the Continent. Not this year.

[church_of_dog]

Pet store rats. So, there's that at least.

Even though my family also had a pet rat for a while when I was a kid (hey, but we lived in a real house!) -- I was still delighted to learn this new vocabulary word from Lauren's blog: a rattery!

ETA: Sounds like a place to get your dreads tightened, if you ask me... :whistle:

[chaotic life]

Yes, she had to buy the van and carseats but as suspected, there's a picture on her friend Alice's blog clearly demonstrating that neither of them actually require their children to buckle up. I think the van that she grifted is better for the kids but the seatbelts and carseats are nothing but show for the government. Lauren and David used to travel with the kids running loose the back of their cargo truck and post videos of it.

[August]

Yes, chaotic, I posted a pic from Lauren's blog a couple of weeks ago of one of them in the seat with the straps around their waist. But then, a child dying is just a neutral event, so why bother, right? (insert head exploding ragey)

[Trudestar]

She also advertises on her bog for friendly places to park their bus, then free loads on whoever will take them in, until the host family gets sick of them.

From then on, these people are viewed upon as family.

Lucky there's no such thing as pedophiles in this perfect world. :pull-hair:

[August]

This Alice character is like Lauren's equally crazy twin

At the same time as withdrawing [6 1/2 yr old] Satria from school, we also booked flights to go to Dayna’s Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference in the USA in April 2013. I just knew that we needed to be there and that somehow we would make it happen. In January we were struggling to pay our rent, and the most important thing was to get to the conference in April. So, we packed up our home in Byron Bay and put everything into storage except a carload of personal items to get us by for the next 6 months.

We started to housesit/pet sit so that we didn’t have to pay rent. We then headed south to Melbourne and stayed with old and new unschooling families along the way. Our journey has began!

Our next stop is the USA for 3 weeks in April, then Bali for the month of May, and from June… who knows! The world is our oyster…

Now, I'm all for educating yourself when you take on the role of sole teacher for your child, but spending thousands of dollars to go to a conference where nothing of actual substance is taught and becoming homeless so you can do it... crazy. And this lady is about to lose her no-questions asked cash payments as her child ages out, too.

[Becket70]

I know this is terribly off-topic and deserves its own thread but it does involve France. I read today that France has made child beauty pageants illegal. No child under 16 will be allowed to participate in a beauty pageant. My beret is off to them!

[Annasopinion]

Has she said anything on WHY she has gone to France *without* her children???

Interesting, isn't it? The blog which is supposed to document her life is infact a lie about her life and only keeps score of the mental illness game she is playing. If her daughters did look on it in years to come, they would learn NOTHING about themselves, because it's all about Lauren.

If she had a pious reason to dump her kids on a fellow whacky mumma and go to France, we'd know about it. This silence is part of her game. She ended her post on 'rubbing away the black' a push for sympathy before running off. Remember when she dumped her husband and kids and HITCHHIKED with Elijah....and then changed her story into how she was buying the family a new truck? Currently she's probably finding a way to make this about her girls and not her. I wonder what it will be? My money is on a spiritual / healing retreat...but she might surprise us and come home with an authentic french kettle for the gifted gypsy.

[Annasopinion]

This Alice character is like Lauren's equally crazy twin

Now, I'm all for educating yourself when you take on the role of sole teacher for your child, but spending thousands of dollars to go to a conference where nothing of actual substance is taught and becoming homeless so you can do it... crazy. And this lady is about to lose her no-questions asked cash payments as her child ages out, too.

Yes but in order to educate anyone, you have to be intelligent yourself, first. Surely? And Alice strikes me as a skinful of stoopid! She can't even have her own authentic breakdown, she had to jump Lauren's train. Oh puhlease!

[bubblekitty]

mango mama (to continue the previous thread) is living in Hawaii a few miles from her children. You can find her on FB: jennifervanlaanen in the FB address. Kids seem to be doing well, you can find at least 2 of them on FB as well as her ex.

[thoughtful]

Sometimes I just need to handle even serious things with a song parody -- she's just so beyond the pale:

The last time I saw Paris, my dreads were tightly curled,

The French all welcomed me, and the rouge carpet they unfurled.

The last time I walked Paris, forgetting my offspring,

Authentic feet, au naturele - that pavement sure does sting!

I dodged the same old life issues that I had dodged for years.

To real life I say c’est la vie! I have no time for tears.

The last time I shopped Paris, I bought a red beret,

No thought to my four daughters, hope they’re still alive today!

 

[Trudestar]

Its possible France is not her final destination.

On her fb "Voila" post, one of her leghumpers has commented with "Nearly there!", implying she's got further to travel.

The mind boggles.

I wonder how the girls are going? What's going to happen if they have a meltdown and want their Mum or Dad? I feel for them so much....

Lauren is such a self absorbed bitch, she couldn't care less about their well being.

[Cheetah]

Its possible France is not her final destination.

On her fb "Voila" post, one of her leghumpers has commented with "Nearly there!", implying she's got further to travel.

The mind boggles.

I wonder how the girls are going? What's going to happen if they have a meltdown and want their Mum or Dad? I feel for them so much....

Lauren is such a self absorbed bitch, she couldn't care less about their well being.

I'm not seeing this on FB... did you actually 'friend' her? I think I 'liked' her page but that I guess doesn't get as much detail.

[heidi]

Its possible France is not her final destination.

On her fb "Voila" post, one of her leghumpers has commented with "Nearly there!", implying she's got further to travel.

The mind boggles.

I wonder how the girls are going? What's going to happen if they have a meltdown and want their Mum or Dad? I feel for them so much....

Lauren is such a self absorbed bitch, she couldn't care less about their well being.

Unless the "nearly there" references not just the actual physical trip. I wonder if arriving in France is the first step in some grander plan (to abandon her children/hook up with a lover).

[Trudestar]

No, I haven't befriended her. I've "liked" her Sparkling Adventures fb page (where the Voila post is).

[chaotic life]

Yes, I had heard awhile ago that Mango Mama returned to Hawaii and was able to have visitation with her children again. However, the damage done to those children was already done.

The point is that when you tried to pretend your life is perfect because you are SO authentic and alternative, you might snap and run away from that life and abandon your children.

I see Alice is partially enthralled with this philosophy because of the promise that you won't have the normal teen angst period if you parent like this. This is exactly what draws so many Fundies into harsh parenting techniques. The every elusive promise that you can skip the teen years if you *just* do one special method of parenting before that point.

Here's the reality. Teens are teens. If you survive one without the regular teen angst, then prepare because you'll experience it in their 20s instead. It's absolutely necessary for children to grow, to mature, and to find a way to establish who they are and what they want for their lives outside of their parents. That process creates angst. It's simply Unavoidable.

No guru can get you through the teen years and avoid having teens. Furthermore, if you approach your children with respect, understanding that this is about their ability to grow and separate and not about a statement on what a horrible parent you are for the million mistakes you WILL make, then you will weather the angst just fine, no matter what parenting methods you use or don't use. There is NO magic cure-all. Every method that claims to skip those years is an automatic red flag because all that means is that anytime real teens show real angst, rather than honestly working through it, the method will blame the parent for not properly employing the method and thus hold onto the false claim that you can avoid it.

Lauren's girls are going to have a LOT of angst, and as others have said, they may very frighteningly express it by running with the first man who shows them enough attention and offers to take them away from their insane mother. In fact, her so-called parenting is NOT preventing normal growth and developing but creating problems on top of it, AND Lauren uses it as an excuse be neglectful.

This movement is responsible for convincing a solid, work-at home mother who was supporting herself and her son into abandoning her business, embracing poverty and homelessness and convincing her that if she attempts ANYTHING beyond devoting her entire life to every moment of her child's life, then she's going to fail. Alice sounds very gullible and naïve to me, not educated and with her head on straight. From the descriptions of her child's behavior, this new methodology is not making things better with her son, but actually making his poor behaviors worse and increasing both her poverty and her guilt factor.

[So Many Lies]

To all those who posted that there is probably a man involved in this France thing I hadn't thought of this and I am truly hoping there is not... this Alice is a bad influence! Anyway said man will live to regret this if her history of marital/mind games is anything to go by...

Up til now I thought she might have been going for the hippy same sex tryst going by her interest in polyamory. Or maybe she does post this stuff to make David crazy (ier).

[bubblekitty]

This was an interesting blog post with (now deleted) excerpts from mango mama's blog talking about her break down.

http://mainstreamparenting.wordpress.co ... ama-redux/

I think it is a fairly familiar picture of total burn out, just one pitfall of embracing a parenting ideology which consumes you. It's interesting with the extreme crunchy lot who look down at soccer moms and think they are doing something soooo natural and right that there will be some zen reward to it all. Agonizing over "what is right" about EVERYTHING whether you're a slave to god or a slave to attachment/natural parenting etc.. Really Lauren has been like this the whole time, just switched bandwagons.