Lori Alexander On Childless Couples

[Jana814]

Did she ever say that people who do not have kids r unhappy. I don't believe that. My father has a friend of his who's been married for years. They never had kids ( not sure why) wife is a retired principal & according to my father, they r very happy & contect in their decision to not have kids. Also he comes from a large family (& is the oldest) & they r everyone's favorite Aunt & Uncle.

[EmiGirl]

So Ken responded to my comment. I'm obviously not a godly or Christian wife in his opinion. Should I be offended or feel complimented?

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Another tiny thing about the "job" comparison is that you get to take time off from work, and you have the option to change jobs or even careers (though it's harder nowadays). You don't, however, get to take time off from being a mother, because you're a mother even when you are away from your kids. And if you have a kid and then realize you hate being a mother, you're stuck.

[PinkPrincess0213]

So Ken responded to my comment. I'm obviously not a godly or Christian wife in his opinion. Should I be offended or feel complimented?

Definitely complimented, although clearly not his intention. :D

[salex]

So Ken responded to my comment. I'm obviously not a godly or Christian wife in his opinion. Should I be offended or feel complimented?

You should tell him that since you don't answer to him and your headship is good with it, it is not his place to define if you are a good, godly or christian wife, and it is all between you, your husband and God, not some sad miserable blogger on the net and her husband.

[Dysfundamental]

I think of myself as Christian and try to be observant. My headship is a fervent atheist and pretty much anti-religion. We have no kids. Obviously our marriage is a stench in the nose of God as far as Ken is concerned.

I am surprisingly okay with this!

[EmiGirl]

I think of myself as Christian and try to be observant. My headship is a fervent atheist and pretty much anti-religion. We have no kids. Obviously our marriage is a stench in the nose of God as far as Ken is concerned.

I am surprisingly okay with this!

You're a better person than me. Both my headship and I are Christians. He's just a whole lot more fundy than I am (didn't know this before marriage, he claimed he wasn't) and we have a lot of problems due to religious stuff.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I don't know if cooking from scratch really saves you money. I cook from scratch because I prefer the flavor of homemade and sometimes there are health benefits. but I don't think I really save money. A bottle of blue cheese dressing costs say 2.50. to make blue cheese dressing I have to buy the cheese, buttermilk, mayo or sour cream and that usually costs more than 2.50. plus there's my labor.

When I make lasagna (2 pans) I have to buy a

ton of veggies for the sauce, ground beef, Italian sausage, noodles, ricotta, Parmesan and mozzarella cheese, plus I might need herbs or breadcrumbs/eggs for the meatballs i put in it... It's like $50!

[VooDooChild]

She is likely talking about the CBS segment that also featured the Duggars. I'm surprised she didn't put up the link.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/couples-choosing-childlessness.html

Overpopulation isn't a lie Lori and not everyone believes in your God.

Is she serious? None of those suggestions negate the fact that raising children costs a lot of money. Food to make your own baby food still costs money. Cloth diapers mean more water and detergent. Curriculum costs money. Oversimplify much?

[crazyforkate]

Okay, if you're homeschooling right then it's going to cost money, even if you're only buying basic supplies. For textbooks and work material you'll wind up shelling out a lot more. I've checked the prices on the homeschooling stuff the kids I look after use and the mom could send them to the local Christian school for what she spends!

[Sobeknofret]

Okay, if you're homeschooling right then it's going to cost money, even if you're only buying basic supplies. For textbooks and work material you'll wind up shelling out a lot more. I've checked the prices on the homeschooling stuff the kids I look after use and the mom could send them to the local Christian school for what she spends!

What curriculum does she use, out of curiosity? I spend about $400 a semester on books and a science lab class for KidSobe. That doesn't include replenishing art supplies, some of his free reading books, and some biggish purchases, like the microscope KidSobe got for his birthday last year, and the good camera he's getting this year for a project I have in mind. Not bad in comparison to the 12K a year we were paying for private school!

[freedomjesusfootball]

Vacationing in Hawaii is for damn sure fun all the time. What crack is she smoking?

I have one kid because I have one kid. It's none of Lori's business why. Expense is a part of it. I do not spoil my child. He does not get everything he wants, but I do try to give him everything he needs and a reasonable part of what he wants. Life isn't all about sacrifice and martyrdom. I love that be fruitful and multiply thing. I have multiplied. I have a child. I don't recall where God said we had to multiply exponentially. And not for nothing, God has said a lot of things that people don't follow, so I love how these guys pick and choose depending on what suits their agenda at the moment.

Oh, and my kid has never told me he hates me either. He has said that he wasn't speaking to me ever again. He shouted it right as he ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door, the door that was swollen by the heat and would stick shut if you breathed on it too hard. "Never again" turned out to be until he got hungry and needed out of his room. :)

Non sequitur:

I did this once and broke my door. My punishment: my parents took away my door for a week and I had to change in the bathroom. Thought that was pretty good. Definitely got my 13 year old self's attention. :clap:

[hywelis]

I feel about children like I felt about my last job. Nobody deserves a mother like that.

I totally agree. That is, I don't mind quiet, well-behaved children, as long as I can give them back to their parents after an hr. or so. And children are not always quiet and well-behaved. They're loud, they test limit, they express their frustration in annoying ways because they haven't developed enough yet to do better. And that's perfectly natural and fine. That's who they are.

But I can't handle that. The idea of having children gives me palpitations and anxiety. And, as you said, nobody deserves a mother like that.

Hywelis

[August]

I think it's one of the most amazing modern technological innovations that people who don't want children are now able to make sure they don't have them.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I think it's one of the most amazing modern technological innovations that people who don't want children are now able to make sure they don't have them.

This, so much! I'm probably going to have one kid, and it will be in my thirties, after I've finished my doctorate. The fact that I have the opportunity to choose to do it this way, instead of having baby after baby, makes me very grateful to live when and where I do. I think I'll be a pretty good mom to one kid. More than that? NO WAY.

[Dinorah]

I never understood the "everyone should have kids whether they like it or not" line. Sure, I know some people who kept unwanted pregnancies and were great parents, but if you don't want kids you're better off not having any.

Plus, I think reasons for not wanting children are often way more complicated than "it costs too much money". As usual fundies oversimplify.

[Jana814]

I never understood the "everyone should have kids whether they like it or not" line. Sure, I know some people who kept unwanted pregnancies and were great parents, but if you don't want kids you're better off not having any.

Plus, I think reasons for not wanting children are often way more complicated than "it costs too much money". As usual fundies oversimplify.

Very True!

[GolightlyGrrl]

Very True!

Yep, I agree. I hate how Lori Alexander is a Monster and other fundies think people limit the size of their families or don't have kids at all is because of the expense. It is so much more complex than that.

I am not a mom, but I am an auntie. My sister has only two kids. That's all she and her husband wanted. But unlike the Duggars and other assorted quiverfull types, they see their children as two unique individuals, separate from themselves. My nephew and niece don't necessarily have to be in lockstep with their parents. They can have their own interests, ideas, opinions and lives. Fundies pretty much see children as extensions of their own egos.

[crazyforkate]

What curriculum does she use, out of curiosity? I spend about $400 a semester on books and a science lab class for KidSobe. That doesn't include replenishing art supplies, some of his free reading books, and some biggish purchases, like the microscope KidSobe got for his birthday last year, and the good camera he's getting this year for a project I have in mind. Not bad in comparison to the 12K a year we were paying for private school!

She uses a mishmash of different things, and buys tons of technological supplies. The number of educational computer programs they have is staggering. And they get new computers basically all the time. Now, you could homeschool well with way less, but it's still going to cost you a fair amount. Certainly more than public school. (As for the Christian school comment, I might have been exaggerating a bit, but the difference would honestly not be that much.)

[idonthaveajname]

I know two different women who had babies because their husband wanted one, not because they did. It was...well, pretty horrible on those kids.

Frankly, it pisses me right off that some women feel like they HAVE to have a baby. For whatever reason.

[ADoyle90815]

Yep, I agree. I hate how Lori Alexander is a Monster and other fundies think people limit the size of their families or don't have kids at all is because of the expense. It is so much more complex than that.

I am not a mom, but I am an auntie. My sister has only two kids. That's all she and her husband wanted. But unlike the Duggars and other assorted quiverfull types, they see their children as two unique individuals, separate from themselves. My nephew and niece don't necessarily have to be in lockstep with their parents. They can have their own interests, ideas, opinions and lives. Fundies pretty much see children as extensions of their own egos.

This. I'm another auntie who isn't a mom. My brother only has one child, my niece as that's what they want at this particular time. It's not just expenses, as my brother is relieved that his weekend photography job ended because the owner is moving out of state because it means he has more weekends available to spend with his daughter, and it's considered being a parent, not babysitting. My brother and SIL do see my niece as a unique individual capable of having her own interests and opinions. As both of her parents graduated college before they got married, chances are good that my niece will do the same.

[Talitha Cumi]

Lol I knew this was going to be hilarious just from the title. Childless unwoman here! :dance:

ETA: I had another response here, but it could have easily been read as me shitting on parents, which is so not what I meant, and I couldn't figure out a way to word it properly.

[Burris]

Lori isn’t exactly a deep thinker, and nor is her slap-happy husband.

Fresh ingredients – fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, fresh spices, etc. – tend to cost more than their dried, frozen, or otherwise preserved counterparts. Most fresh food items also spoil pretty quickly.

Assuming one lives in a climate suitable for it, and that one has enough space, gardening can cut a little cost. Realistically, however, most people – especially those in urban areas - don’t have enough space to grow anything more than spices and maybe some tomatoes for themselves and their families.

There’s no single, simple answer as to how much farmland an individual would need to cultivate for survival since different crops have different growth requirements; but it’s at least one acre per individual each year – and that’s assuming each person eats a limited variety of items and that no one is raising livestock.

Even if sufficient land becomes available to feed an individual or a family, there’s no guarantee at all that the land will be good or that there’s a stable source of fairly clean water for irrigation or that the necessary equipment and manpower will be available to work the area. (This, and not a lack of basic space, is one of the biggest reasons why overpopulation is a legitimate and pressing problem rather than the ‘myth’ Lori and her leg-humpers pretend it to be.)

On a related note, Lori claims to see children as unmitigated blessings, and yet that’s often the first area she and her fellow fundies recommend for budget cuts. They offer countless tips on how to make the experience of child-rearing as cheap and parent-focused as possible, for example by allowing for the creation of a fire-hazard by overcrowding a bunch of children into a single poorly-ventilated room. (It’s as if fundies think the fire code exists solely as a plot to prevent them from having more kids than they can reasonably house or feed.)

[Minerva]

You can make your baby food from scratch. You can use cloth diapers. You can homeschool them. There are many ways to save money.

I know not all jobs are fun, but I would actively avoid a job that involved washing shitty diapers and homeschooling children. Especially if that job, you know, didn't pay.

Children certainly are a blessing. However, as far as I'm concerned, feeding them, changing them and being responsible for them 16 hours a day is not a blessing. So I'll be thankful for the blessings from afar, and I'll leave raising them to those who want to. I'll find other ways to be fruitful, and it's pretty obvious that humanity has already fulfilled its order to multiply.

[sacrilicious]

My two children are absolutely blessings. Which is why I am limiting myself to two so that I can adequately care for them, and allow them to have a sane mother. :lol: I know some women are happy to have more and have the finances to provide for them, but I don't.

Children certainly are a blessing. However, as far as I'm concerned, feeding them, changing them and being responsible for them 16 hours a day is not a blessing. So I'll be thankful for the blessings from afar, and I'll leave raising them to those who want to. I'll find other ways to be fruitful, and it's pretty obvious that humanity has already fulfilled its order to multiply.

It really is 24 hours a day, which is another good reason I stopped at two. :) In the past year I can probably count the number of times I've slept more than 6 hours straight on one hand. :|