Lori Alexander On Childless Couples

[lilwriter85]

She is likely talking about the CBS segment that also featured the Duggars. I'm surprised she didn't put up the link.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/couples-choosing-childlessness.html

One in five women are choosing to be childless compared to years ago which was one in ten, according to CBS Sunday Morning show. The "expert" on the show said it cost a million dollars to raise a child now and who wants to spend all that money to have that child grow up and tell you he hates you when he turns fifteen.

He also said that America is below the replacement rate which means we will turn into Florida. There will be a ton of old people living on government assistance without enough young people to support them. He also said that raising children isn't that fun. There are a lot of not so fun times.

Tell me. What job is always fun??? Even when you vacation in Hawaii, it is not always fun. Sure, raising children takes a lot of hard work but there are also many rewards.

One does not have to spend a million dollars to raise a child. There are many frugal ways instead. You can buy almost everything used today at garage sales. You can make your baby food from scratch. You can use cloth diapers. You can homeschool them. There are many ways to save money.

Not one of my children ever told me they hated me. You can't always determine how children will turn out but you can do the best you know how to raise disciplined, hard-working, and honest children. Yes, it takes hard work but there was nothing else I wanted to do more.

We have been hearing so long that the world is overpopulated but now we are hearing couples aren't having enough children to sustain societies. This is why we must never listen to the lies of society but always listen to God instead.

He calls children a gift and a blessing. He commands for us to be fruitful and multiply. He wants us to have children if possible.

Overpopulation isn't a lie Lori and not everyone believes in your God.

[IceQueen]

How the hell does home school save money when public school is free or almost free?? I think the distict we live in has a $115 registration fee, but it can be waived and they will send you info on free lunch. I guess that is another post for another day...

[lilwriter85]

How the hell does home school save money when public school is free or almost free?? I think the distict we live in has a $115 registration fee, but it can be waived and they will send you info on free lunch. I guess that is another post for another day...

I have heard and read some homeschoolers say that they save money because they don't have to buy their kids new clothes all the time, pay for extracurriculars, and other items. But many homeschooling families do have their kids involved in activities that cost money and many homeschooling families have education related expenses like field trips, library or research fees etc. I knew a few homeschooling families that had their kids in youth sports, drama classes, and music lessons. There are some fundie homeschooling families that are against a lot of outside activities or hobbies.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Cringing at the garage sale comment.

No, you don't need to overspend on baby items - but you do need to ensure that they are safe. Many garage sale baby items are not. Cribs and car seats should be purchased new, or at the very least should be almost-new, inspected to ensure that they still comply with the latest guidelines, and a reliable history of the item should be available (to make sure that a car seat has not been in a collision, or that a crib has not been painted or modified).

I also know many folks for whom being childless was not a choice. Some have infertility, some never found the right partner, some had health issues, etc. You never know someone's life story and very personal reasons for procreating or not.

[dairyfreelife]

Last I heard, we averaged around 2.1 children per woman on the average in the US. Our replacement rate is actually stable in the US. You can thank all those immigrants you likely hate for that, Lori the monster.

I also thought they estimated it costing around $250,000 to raise a child. That's not even close to half a million, let alone a million.

Oh, and I'm sure that your children never said they hated you to your face. Seeing the type of mother you were though, I have no doubt they thought it plenty of times.

And how is a vacation in Hawaii not fun? I think only a tsunami or something could make that vacation not fun. I've never been to Hawaii, but it looks gorgeous. Beach vacations are only ruined by natural disasters. Not even a jellyfish sting and horrible sunburn would make my Hawaiian vacation not fun. Better to have a sting and sunburn while in paradise than at home listening to my whiny neighbors.

Also, not everyone childless is so by choice. Neither do people who only have one child chose to have just one child. Some do, but not everyone. Unless you know someone's life circumstances, stop making piss poor judgments on people, Lori the monster.

[docmom]

Lori only has 4 children, right? Why did she stop having children? Did she choose to have this number? Was she unable to have more? Either way, she seems to rail against women in both these situations. Interesting that she pointed out that as the population ages there will be less aid available through the government due to a shrinking tax base. I thought Lori was against all forms of government aid. Shouldn't she see this as a good thing?

[OkToBeTakei]

Sounds to me like she is worried about her dotage.

Time to start being nice to your kids Lori, in case they stick you in a Florida care home. (Which I am sure are perfectly lovely, but quite obviously scare the likes of Lori :lol: )

[AnywhereButHere]

Vacationing in Hawaii is for damn sure fun all the time. What crack is she smoking?

I have one kid because I have one kid. It's none of Lori's business why. Expense is a part of it. I do not spoil my child. He does not get everything he wants, but I do try to give him everything he needs and a reasonable part of what he wants. Life isn't all about sacrifice and martyrdom. I love that be fruitful and multiply thing. I have multiplied. I have a child. I don't recall where God said we had to multiply exponentially. And not for nothing, God has said a lot of things that people don't follow, so I love how these guys pick and choose depending on what suits their agenda at the moment.

Oh, and my kid has never told me he hates me either. He has said that he wasn't speaking to me ever again. He shouted it right as he ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door, the door that was swollen by the heat and would stick shut if you breathed on it too hard. "Never again" turned out to be until he got hungry and needed out of his room. :)

[lilwriter85]

Lori only has 4 children, right? Why did she stop having children? Did she choose to have this number? Was she unable to have more? Either way, she seems to rail against women in both these situations. Interesting that she pointed out that as the population ages there will be less aid available through the government due to a shrinking tax base. I thought Lori was against all forms of government aid. Shouldn't she see this as a good thing?

Lori has said that she stopped having children due to health problems. IIRC she was in a major car accident when her youngest child was a toddler. She constantly preaches about having lots of children, but she is in dark about a lot of aspects of QF life. Her husband was able to support a family of 6 well on one salary. I think if they had more kids, they wouldn't have the comfortable life they have now. Lori and her family take expensive trips at least once or twice a year. They seem to go to Hawaii yearly. Lori has posted pics of past trips to NYC and other places. If Lori had more kids, I doubt they wouldn't be doing stuff like that now. They also live in an expensive state. Lori doesn't know or realize that the Duggars and Bateses who she has praised, depend or have depended on church handouts. Sure the Duggars have never been on government assistance, but they took church handouts years ago. We all know that TLC is the reason the TTH was finished. The Bateses also depend on handouts and they go to some kind of free health clinic. If Lori had to do wife swap with someone like Zsu or Kelly C, I don't think she would like the lifestyle of having more than 4 kids. Lori lives very comfortably compared to Zsu and Kelly C.

[infooverload]

The classic was do not trust the "experts" regarding over population, but we are suppose to trust them when it comes to replacement numbers. As I see it in the scheme of things people maybe having less kids, but people are also living a heck of a lot longer than they use to. Interestingly enough I had history teacher in college who would say war could serve as population control as well.

[dawbs]

I have heard and read some homeschoolers say that they save money because they don't have to buy their kids new clothes all the time, pay for extracurriculars, and other items. But many homeschooling families do have their kids involved in activities that cost money and many homeschooling families have education related expenses like field trips, library or research fees etc. I knew a few homeschooling families that had their kids in youth sports, drama classes, and music lessons. There are some fundie homeschooling families that are against a lot of outside activities or hobbies.

Can I just say how much this burns me up?

That's like saying that it's free to grow a garden and make every meal from scratch--only MODERATELY close to true if my time is worth $0.00 nothing.

And my time is NOT worth nothing.

Hell, assume that a home-schooling parent is turning down a minimum wage job ($7.25 an hour) at 30 hours a week...that means that it's 'costing' them $11,000 a year (pre tax) to have a parent at home.

I'm not saying it's not worth it. And I'm not saying it's completely accurate final math (the cost of childcare could easily be well more than $11K per year--which makes the final cost/benefit add up a lot different. as do benefits, assistance programs they may no longer qualify for, etc).

But even an unskilled laborer has time that's worth SOMETHING.

[lilwriter85]

The classic was do not trust the "experts" regarding over population, but we are suppose to trust them when it comes to replacement numbers. As I see it in the scheme of things people maybe having less kids, but people are also living a heck of a lot longer than they use to. Interestingly enough I had history teacher in college who would say war could serve as population control as well.

Weird, I also had a teacher who said the same thing too.

[rward]

There's a difference between a job you love, but that is regularly annoying, and a job you hate every single moment of.

My job now I like. Yes, one of my bosses is a crazy person, and the clients can be obnoxious, but overall I like my job. Some days are hard and leave me feeling like a wrung out rag, but I don't mind going to work and look forward to seeing some of my coworkers and some of the cases are downright fascinating.

My last job, I hated. HATED. I dreaded going into work, I hated every minute of it, I hated my entire life. Nothing made me happy, not even when I wasn't at work, because I'd have to go back to work and that's all I could think about. After a year of that, I got up one morning, started crying and didn't stop all day. So I never went back.

I feel about children like I felt about my last job. Nobody deserves a mother like that.

[Sobeknofret]

Good grief. I suffered from primary infertility for two and a half years, and had to use reproductive technology to finally get my son. If Lori had approached me like this when I was struggling, I would have absolutely lost it all over her.

Those of you suffering from IF right now have my deepest and most sincere sympathy, and my best wishes for a successful resolution, however you choose to handle it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Not one of my children ever told me they hated me. You can't always determine how children will turn out but you can do the best you know how to raise disciplined, hard-working, and honest children. Yes, it takes hard work but there was nothing else I wanted to do more.

Ok, I understand this, because I would say the same thing.

Notice, however, the part that I put in bold. Part of the reason that I'm a good parent who enjoys parenting is that it's what I WANTED to do. I wasn't forced to do it, and wasn't approaching my parenting with a feeling of resentment.

The difference between Lori and me is that I understand that my attitude came from my unique personality and life circumstances at the time, and that I can't simply expect that to be replicated for all other women.

[Becket70]

I have heard and read some homeschoolers say that they save money because they don't have to buy their kids new clothes all the time, pay for extracurriculars, and other items. But many homeschooling families do have their kids involved in activities that cost money and many homeschooling families have education related expenses like field trips, library or research fees etc. I knew a few homeschooling families that had their kids in youth sports, drama classes, and music lessons. There are some fundie homeschooling families that are against a lot of outside activities or hobbies.

Don't parents who home school their kids have to pay property taxes which go to support the schools their children do not attend. If they rent, their landlord pays taxes and that is reflected in the rent. So they are paying taxes plus the added costs of home schooling, which would be like doubling their financial outlay. Or have they found a way out of paying taxes on public schools? Paying taxes for schools is part of the social contract because it is necessary for our society to be educated. People without children (like myself) pay taxes for schools and do so gladly. How do homeschoolers handle this issue?

[LynnGrey]

Ok, I understand this, because I would say the same thing.

Notice, however, the part that I put in bold. Part of the reason that I'm a good parent who enjoys parenting is that it's what I WANTED to do. I wasn't forced to do it, and wasn't approaching my parenting with a feeling of resentment.

The difference between Lori and me is that I understand that my attitude came from my unique personality and life circumstances at the time, and that I can't simply expect that to be replicated for all other women.

Exactly. For some reason fundies believe that all Christians should have the same desires and personality. Anyone who isn't born that way needs to force it or fake it, because there is only one right way to be.

[happy atheist]

I don't understand why you would try to convince someone who doesn't want a kid to have a kid. You wouldn't try to force someone to have a bird if they didn't want one, and a kid is a ton more responsibility.

I have lots of respect for people who decide that having kids is not for them. I don't really care if their reason for not having kids is "selfish." They can live the life they want and NO KID pays the price.

Parenthood should be for those who want to be parents. There are plenty of them out there. Humans aren't going to die out because nobody can be bothered to have kids anymore.

[EmiGirl]

I couldn't help but to comment. I doubt she (read: Ken) will approve it though.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't understand why you would try to convince someone who doesn't want a kid to have a kid. You wouldn't try to force someone to have a bird if they didn't want one, and a kid is a ton more responsibility.

I have lots of respect for people who decide that having kids is not for them. I don't really care if their reason for not having kids is "selfish." They can live the life they want and NO KID pays the price.

Parenthood should be for those who want to be parents. There are plenty of them out there. Humans aren't going to die out because nobody can be bothered to have kids anymore.

Exactly.

Wonder how Lori and others would feel about someone spontaneously giving them a puppy? I mean, I understand that other people love their dogs and find them cute, but I know that I have no desire to have a dog and would be a pretty bad pet owner. That doesn't mean that I hate animals. It means that the SPCA will never need to make a stop at my house.

[lilwriter85]

Don't parents who home school their kids have to pay property taxes which go to support the schools their children do not attend. If they rent, their landlord pays taxes and that is reflected in the rent. So they are paying taxes plus the added costs of home schooling, which would be like doubling their financial outlay. Or have they found a way out of paying taxes on public schools? Paying taxes for schools is part of the social contract because it is necessary for our society to be educated. People without children (like myself) pay taxes for schools and do so gladly. How do homeschoolers handle this issue?

Yup they do. I know some homeschoolers will vote against things like mill levies in order to keep their property taxes from rising. I'm still on the fence about having kids and I'm thinking about adoption in the future. If I never have biological kids or adopt, I would continue to have no issues paying taxes for schools.

[lilwriter85]

From the comments section

Tawnya · 4 hours ago

Are you saying if a married woman does not want children is sinful? Just wondering your thoughts, I'm not married but I also never had the desire to have children even if I did find the right person.

[/quote

[lilah]

I don't know if cooking from scratch really saves you money. I cook from scratch because I prefer the flavor of homemade and sometimes there are health benefits. but I don't think I really save money. A bottle of blue cheese dressing costs say 2.50. to make blue cheese dressing I have to buy the cheese, buttermilk, mayo or sour cream and that usually costs more than 2.50. plus there's my labor.

[EmiGirl]

There's no way cooking from scratch is cheaper. If anything it's more expensive.

[Sobeknofret]

Don't parents who home school their kids have to pay property taxes which go to support the schools their children do not attend. If they rent, their landlord pays taxes and that is reflected in the rent. So they are paying taxes plus the added costs of home schooling, which would be like doubling their financial outlay. Or have they found a way out of paying taxes on public schools? Paying taxes for schools is part of the social contract because it is necessary for our society to be educated. People without children (like myself) pay taxes for schools and do so gladly. How do homeschoolers handle this issue?

We homeschool. We do pay property taxes which support the schools, and we also pay taxes through the mill levys which are usually increases in sales tax. I fully support my money going to the schools, and I also try and make clothing and school supply donations through the year to the PTA clothing and supply bank. We are super lucky that we can afford to homeschool, and having an educated society benefits everybody, so we fully support public education.