All things Razing Ruth

[laura oz]

I'm unclear about the situation you are referring to, but I promise I for one will not say anything unkind about anyone who treated Ruth or anyone else on this site well.

And I also hope that if the worst some of us think is proven true that none of us who gave love and help to Ruth regrets it. While I think being informed about the person to whom you give help is a good thing, ultimately our desires to help those whom we feel need it ennobles us. No one should ever regret treating anyone well, even if we later discover that person was not who we thought they were. Our good intentions matter and are not made irrelevant by the bad acts of others.

The bolded: I love this, and am filing it away to steal for later use. Dang, it's so true.

[ShesCrafty]

Would it be possible for one of the mods to put this thread back in Snark? I think it is definitely related to fundies and a lot of people who don't read Chatter (or have access to it) would be interested in the turn of events.

[ShesCrafty]

The bolded: I love this, and am filing it away to steal for later use. Dang, it's so true.

QFT. If Ruth turns out to be a scam, I certainly hope no one feels bad for donating or offering to help. This is truly a situation where it's the thought that counts.

[Lillybee]

I am not sure if OfDuggar is Ruth. The writing styles are different and there are some inconsistancies in OfDuggars posts on TWOP. Just because she said that RazingRuth's blog was hers doesn't always make it so.

[Lainey]

Well...I'm pretty sure she has said she was ofDuggar on TWOP, although I can't find it. Or at least not corrected other people if they said she was.

Also, her username on Makaziville was "ofDuggar," so there's that, too.

I'm not really sure there's a good explanation here, other than what it looks like. And it looks bad.

[Mama Mia]

I am not sure if OfDuggar is Ruth. The writing styles are different and there are some inconsistancies in OfDuggars posts on TWOP. Just because she said that RazingRuth's blog was hers doesn't always make it so.

It's also possible she copied and pasted the wrong link. Being technologically challenged I have done that sort of thing.

But if she's scamming it would be a pretty big slip up. I love this kind of Internet drama, to an old lady like me it's like studying anthropology with a time machine into the future. Fascinating.

[Chibi Author]

All I have to say is:

Oh myy.

[treemom]

I was simply saying I can hold both views simultaneously. I think that people should not try to make work like contact with her and people who are skeptical should not be accused of being meanies either.

I, like many. Have doubted some or all of the story at different points. I think that is fine...and certainly the ofduggar twop is pretty damning. And I don't think someone did show up at work if anyone is asking, but regardless it doesn't need to happen now either.

[Pretzel]

And I don't think someone did show up at work if anyone is asking, but regardless it doesn't need to happen now either.

Me neither. Probably her way to make sure nobody actually tries to find out where she allegedly works.

[formergothardite]

I just know that this will get people worked up. Personally I think the skepticism is fair and also, completely out of line to visit a workplace even if Ruth has lied about everything.

Personally I never believed a lot of her story, but even if she did make this shit all up showing up at her work to stalk her crosses a line. But I also don't think the stalking thing happened either.

I've always felt that she was raised in ATI, was struggling as a young adult and found an easy way to get attention/money. People have pulled off way more elaborate hoaxes than this and no one should feel bad for believing her or donating to her. After I got sucked into a preemie scammer on Mothering.com years ago(I can't remember her name, but she had the most convincing blog complete with pictures that she had stolen) I am a lot more jaded.

[uber frau]

So in light of the above I've been re-reading her blog.Does.anyone know what hhappened to her brother with the stage 4 melanoma? It's mentioned on her FB page and there's a remark about praying for her brother about the same time on her blog but after that I can't find anymore about him.

[Daisy]

I've been rereading it a bit too. Someone upthread said they are atill not sure of duggar is Ruth. Her blog has a post from September 2009 that is titled questions from TWOP PMs. I think that is one more sign that of duggar and Ruth are the same person.

I don't remember hearing about the brother again either

Oh, and I am also skeptical that someone showed up at her work too. But if they did, I agree that is 100% wrong and over the line. I think parts of Ruth's blog may be true and I am skeptical about other parts of It. But even if the whole thing is made up showing up at her work is just wrong.

[pikachu]

I knew the area and it was my "normal". Here, I feel very isolated, even though I've met some FJers and am around people. I don't have my "new normal" yet.

That's great you have met some FJers. Glad to hear you are around people, that is a good start.

[formergothardite]

So which Free Jinger members did she meet?

[nokidsmom]

My only addition is that Peas and Carrots myself and one other were supposed to meet in February. Due to kiddie illness and so forth it did not happen. My personal view is just that P&C is just a deadly friendly person who welcomes life. I am not like that. But I was sad it did not happen. Her offers to meet Ruth/Mary/Doodad in that light seem totally lovely to me. As were P&C's e-mails. Still sad it did not happen. Any girl who can navigate Glasgow and tell me where is good to eat is just fine.

So whilst I may differ in my opinion regarding this issue, please do not cast aspersions on a person who I truly believe had good and friendly intentions. If Ruth/Mary/Doodad had the friendly e-mails I did then she is a lucky girl.

Next time hopefully.

I just got a bit annoyed that everybody who was being friendly were being cast as STALKER!

ETA

Somebody fix my shit grammar.

I am with OKTBT in that I felt that P&C was honestly offering help a fellow FJer in need. In fact, I was willing to participate when she suggested a welcome wagon for Ruth from other Chicago-based FJ'ers provided that Ruth was up to it. This was just around the time Ruth arrived and before the hospital stay and confrontation at work. I wouldn't have agreed if I felt this was stalking. Just want to put in my view on that.

I was not intending to give money (I don't do that) but new household items that I wasn't using. Went a bit too crazy on Corelle plates.

I was willing to give Ruth the benefit of doubt figuring that the truth will out eventually, one way or the other. Sadly, the recent developments, particularly the work confrontation, raised both concerns and red flags for me. I questioned this confrontation actually going on at a university library (there would probably be security) however, if it was true, then someone out there is taking this to a new level, is stalking, and that is not OK.

[treemom]

I don't think offers to meet are out of line. I hope at no point it felt like I implied that.

[nokidsmom]

I don't think offers to meet are out of line. I hope at no point it felt like I implied that.

Treemom, FTR, no, I didn't think you did that all. I just wanted to back up OKTBT's concerns about a member who honestly wanted to offer Ruth support and as someone who was willing to do same.

[treemom]

Re: my suspicions, I have believed her sometimes, changed to disbelief other times, but in general the amount of similar drama occurring in rapid succession has always made me skeptical. The ovary seems a lot like the broken leg.

I believe some of the story is true, but I have had my doubts about the entirety of the story. I was bitched out by a former member for doubting Ruth. As if Internet doubt is wrong. Regardless, (and I grew up equally if not more handicapped by my parents choices) at some point you just stop looking at the world with doe eyes and get the fuck on with your life. Ruth is not as young as she often implies either. I have had a lot of doubt about my stories and I could validate any of them if needed (although I don't really feel a strong need for Internet masses to believe me). It is something you live with when you have a life that has had a lot of drama, heartbreak, whatever. But again at some point you just have to stop acting like you are unfrozen caveman lawyer and the world frightens and confuses you.)

Also, she seemed ignorant of all the same financial information offered when she broke her leg. Seriously?

(Oh and I gave money to Ruth. Actually during a time I was pretty doubtful...my thought was I can easily afford it and if even part of the drama of the day was true, she could use the help. I don't feel cheated or anything...I understood the risk I took....)

[happy atheist]

I find this a useful philosophy: 1 out of every 2 people on the internet is an axe-murderer. If it's not you, it's the person you're talking to. Act accordingly to protect yourself.

Substitute "asshole" or "scammer" or whatever for "axe-murderer" and it works for pretty much all occasions.

[nokidsmom]

Re: my suspicions, I have believed her sometimes, changed to disbelief other times, but in general the amount of similar drama occurring in rapid succession has always made me skeptical. The ovary seems a lot like the broken leg.

I believe some of the story is true, but I have had my doubts about the entirety of the story. I was bitched out by a former member for doubting Ruth. As if Internet doubt is wrong. Regardless, (and I grew up equally if not more handicapped by my parents choices) at some point you just stop looking at the world with doe eyes and get the fuck on with your life. Ruth is not as young as she often implies either. I have had a lot of doubt about my stories and I could validate any of them if needed (although I don't really feel a strong need for Internet masses to believe me). It is something you live with when you have a life that has had a lot of drama, heartbreak, whatever. But again at some point you just have to stop acting like you are unfrozen caveman lawyer and the world frightens and confuses you.)

Also, she seemed ignorant of all the same financial information offered when she broke her leg. Seriously?

(Oh and I gave money to Ruth. Actually during a time I was pretty doubtful...my thought was I can easily afford it and if even part of the drama of the day was true, she could use the help. I don't feel cheated or anything...I understood the risk I took....)

Didn't know about the broken leg as I didn't know of her before coming to FJ and maybe it was before that? That's interesting. Have read bits of her blog but mostly get the information here. While I found parts of her story a bit dramatic and there was no way to validate it, at the same time, there's simply no way I can know. And truth can be also be stranger than fiction. So when I agreed to help, I did it with my eyes open that there was a possibility that some or all may not be true or it was embellished truth. Kinda like when you make a loan to someone, you should expect that you are really giving the money away.

But the quick succession of events with the hospital stay then the dramatic workplace confrontation got me seriously wondering.

ETA: I did think that if all or any was untrue it would probably be discovered with this new job situation. She was giving out enough information about herself and her job / location / situation where things could be figured out, people attempt to meet her, etc.

[Lainey]

I find this a useful philosophy: 1 out of every 2 people on the internet is an axe-murderer. If it's not you, it's the person you're talking to. Act accordingly to protect yourself.

Substitute "asshole" or "scammer" or whatever for "axe-murderer" and it works for pretty much all occasions.

I love this advice. I've seen you give it before. I'm too open to follow it, though, sadly. I can't seem to help myself. But it's great advice.

Treemom: unfrozen caveman lawyer?

[Peas n carrots]

I want to chime in here. I too have had doubts - for as long as I've read her blog in fact. Any offers of help and any tips into the jar were with eyes wide open and weren't overextending my abilities to give. But I also try to exercise skepticism with anything I read on the Internet, so Ruth/Mary didn't hold any special regard in that way. I also felt after her move to Chicago and the subsequent need for certain items that the organization my husband works for could be especially helpful and encouraged her to check it out on a few different occasions - I do not know whether or not she has but I hope she has if she is in need whether or not her story is not all true.

As a disclaimer, I have not met Mary/Ruth in person nor has she emailed/texted/pm'd me regarding meeting up.

I'm the type if person who likes to give the benefit if the doubt, but not in disregard of my or my family's personal safety. Any meet up with Internet people I have ever had has been done in public and with my husband/friends aware of where I am going (and occasionally joining in) and how to contact me.

That being said, I hope Ruth/Mary has a good explanation as it certainly looks fishy, but at the same time she doesn't owe it to the Internet world either. I just hope she (or whoever else) finds the peace of mind and success in the world that she seems to desire.

[Closed Womb]

I am not sure if OfDuggar is Ruth. The writing styles are different and there are some inconsistancies in OfDuggars posts on TWOP. Just because she said that RazingRuth's blog was hers doesn't always make it so.

I read some of the ofduggar TWOP posts last night. They were from 2009. There was nothing I saw that seemed inconsistent with Razing Ruth's writing. Sure, it was less formal, but one is not trying to solicit money/sympathy/anger towards ATI on a TWOP thread (lest the ban hammer come crashing from those power happy mods over there.) Also, her saying on FJ that ofduggar is her Makaziville name, in 2011, is pretty convincing for me. Walking like a duck, quacks like a duck...

A few pages back (pg 20) I made a post wherein I doubted the validity of Ruth/Mary's visitor story. I still doubt that it happened; actually I doubt it even more now (back on the 1st I was about 10% doubtful, now I am about 90% doubtful of R/M's legitimacy.) But, I am still not able to call someone who shows up to a public university a "stalker." This person (allegedly) had plans to meet R/M, they (allegedly) had some sort of online relationship. I work at a state university in California; I previously worked at a state university in Florida. I've had friends stop by my office. I have stopped by to see former professors. I have stopped by the library to see if my friend is working (went to the front desk and asked "is Leanna in?") Neither main library at either school is guarded by security during the day; I think the FL school had an overnight guard for the days it was open 24 hours. Maybe it's because I work in that culture, but I just don't see coming by someone's work as that big a deal. Hell, people that work in the library have people asking for them at the front desk all the damn time because, y'know, they help people and people come by for more help. Or to say thanks. Or to ask for a different favor.

So, let me remind you, I doubt that this happened at all. I think that if someone did, by chance, stop by, it didn't go down like R/M claims it did. But, on the off chance that there is some poor, berated FJ-er out there who his hating him/her self over trying to find out if this person is real, take heart. I don't think you're [that] crazy.

AND -- to second formergothardite -- Which FJ-ers did R/M "meet"?

[laura oz]

But again at some point you just have to stop acting like you are unfrozen caveman lawyer and the world frightens and confuses you.

With all the drama going down on this thread, this made me laugh my head off. :big-heart: Phil Hartman! I usually only lurk on this thread and I am way late to this party, but IIRC when she discussed not qualifying for Medicaid because she didn't have children, that now raises a red flag with me because it sure looks like she's ofduggar on TWOP. I am always skeptical of anyone on the net, so I don't have the emotional involvement a lot of other big hearted posters do. Some of the deets of the ATI stuff does make me think that part of her story is true, but I feel that she got some attention and liked it so she started adding little exaggerations here and there, and before she knew it she'd spun one gigantic web. I don't think she's a bad person, just messed up and enjoys the attention and "there there's" & "You've been through so much you poor victim" she gets when the big bad world or the stalkers that live in it get to be too much to handle. YMMV

[flyawaystray]

With all the drama going down on this thread, this made me laugh my head off. :big-heart: Phil Hartman! I usually only lurk on this thread and I am way late to this party, but IIRC when she discussed not qualifying for Medicaid because she didn't have children, that now raises a red flag with me because it sure looks like she's ofduggar on TWOP. I am always skeptical of anyone on the net, so I don't have the emotional involvement a lot of other big hearted posters do. Some of the deets of the ATI stuff does make me think that part of her story is true, but I feel that she got some attention and liked it so she started adding little exaggerations here and there, and before she knew it she'd spun one gigantic web. I don't think she's a bad person, just messed up and enjoys the attention and "there there's" & "You've been through so much you poor victim" she gets when the big bad world or the stalkers that live in it get to be too much to handle. YMMV

In some states, you only qualify for Medicaid of you're disabled or pregnant/have children. My friend has diabetes and she is not pregnant or disabled, nor does she have children, so she doesn't get Medicaid where she live, which is in Rhode Island. She pays for her insulin out of pocket.

Yet here in NY, as long as you meet the income threshold, you qualify for it.