Anna T and "womb whispers"

[YPestis]

Anna T recent blog got me laughing about the "womb whispers":

ccostello.blogspot.com/2013/04/do-you-worship-me.html

But I also realize now that fitting in with a community is not all, perhaps not even most; that religious communities, especially small ones, may, and do, have their own flaws, such as hipocrisy, gossip, holier-than-thou attitudes, and what I call "womb whispers" ("Is she pregnant? She must be pregnant. What, she still isn't pregnant? Isn't it about time she was? Do you know if she has a problem? Should we pray for her?") (my answer to all of the above would be, it's a private matter unless one of the directly concerned personally confided in you)... however...

This, along with her reply in the comment section seems to hint that she's getting the nudge, nudge about a third child. For those that are new to her situation, she's an Israeli Jew (yes, a real one) who turned fundie as a teen. Raised by a working, single mother, she was pushed into attending college but aspired to become a SAHM of a large family. However, Anna T also has a love of naps and "peaceful living". As anyone with young children knows, that's a pretty tall order. Anyway, Anna married fairly young and had her first two children in quick succession.

With two babies underfoot, it was predictable her napping time was cut short. Soon, she hinted that she was delaying childbearing for a while, maybe forever. We speculate that she realized how much work it was to keep a tidy house with two young children and she wanted to space out or stop having children to maintain her sanity. It was a reasonable concept for most of us, but it was a major 180 for her.

Anyway, this most recent post hinting that she's getting bombarded with questions about more children seems to be a point of annoyance for her. All I can say is, what did she expect? Anna T purposely choose a life amongst fundie Jews where large families are the norm. She derided birth control and working women, yet she has both worked as a mother (when hubby lost his job) and admitted to delaying her pregnancy. Did she think no one would judge her even as she judged others who did the same?

This hypocrisy riles me to no end. I don't care if someone wants a large family or chooses to stay home with the kids. It's this judgmental attitude from other women that I detest. Anna T is finally getting a bit of her own medicine. Before she was married, she fantasized of being a SAHM popping out baby after baby. She derided women who worked and women who choose to limit their children. Now that she's doing the same, she's upset that others dare judge her.

If anything good comes out of this, I hope it's that Anna T finally gets off her high horse. I hope her turnaround with birth control will see a shift in other areas too. Maybe she'll realize that there is no absolutes when it comes to having kids, that a woman's place in the world can mean different things for different families, and that women can make different and equally valid choices for their families.

I dunno, maybe I'm hoping too much.

[Minerva]

Or maybe she'll just pull a Lori and start condemning anyone (besides her) who uses birth control once she's safely past menopause.

[slh12280]

I saw that post and I kind of saw a different side of her. It seems, I hope, that she is learning to be more accepting of women that make different choices than she does. Sometimes what we envision for out lives is not as great in reality, if we get there. It's okay to admit that and I really hope she gets there.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Thanks for the new blog to follow! I read it more like slh & think often new converts become hard line when they join a religion movement in their impressionable youth but as real life intrudes on fantasy they become less hard line. And less obnoxious ;)