Are the Maxwells allowed to have friends?

[gardenvarietycitizen]

One wonders if Dad forces them to use the bathroom with the door open, or take baths in pairs. I mean, otherwise they can maybe catch a quick wank in there you know!!!

(can't imagine when or where ELSE they'd be able to! Maybe really quietly at night, like in prison...)

[IReallyAmHopewell]

ATI stresses FAMILES as friends. Individual friends can lead your kid astray. Families get together to WORK & fellowship. Like we see the Duggars do. The Maxwells socialize only with other families, with customers at their presentations & with the over 90 set at the Home....

[yearning4freedom]

I agree.

[yearning4freedom]

I agree.

[doggie]

I agree. It causes a lot of damage. I know that firsthand.

not if daddy/god is perfect like Steve is.

NOT

[yearning4freedom]

not if daddy/god is perfect like Steve is.

NOT

[tehgoobster]

This is just idle speculation on my part, but I almost wonder if Steve had some sort of wild past that he's trying to make up for. I mean, he was in the military, right? Of course, not all military men are like this, but it's not unusual for some of them to sow their wild oats. Maybe he's afraid that his kids will be wild if they're given even a smidgen of freedom. Didn't he say that he thought that working in an office could be a temptation to infidelity? Didn't he also say that he wouldn't trust Terry to go out and have dinner with a guy friend? It's like he sees evil where there's no evil. It kind of reminds me of Titus 1:15: "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted."

[FloraDoraDolly]

This is just idle speculation on my part, but I almost wonder if Steve had some sort of wild past that he's trying to make up for. I mean, he was in the military, right? Of course, not all military men are like this, but it's not unusual for some of them to sow their wild oats. Maybe he's afraid that his kids will be wild if they're given even a smidgen of freedom. Didn't he say that he thought that working in an office could be a temptation to infidelity? Didn't he also say that he wouldn't trust Terry to go out and have dinner with a guy friend? It's like he sees evil where there's no evil. It kind of reminds me of Titus 1:15: "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted."

The religious zealous who rant against homosexuality tend to be the ones who later end up getting busted in the men's room by an undercover cop. Following this logic, maybe Steve's weakness is other women? Maybe he once lusted after those uppity pants-wearing boss ladies at work?

[tehgoobster]

The religious zealous who rant against homosexuality tend to be the ones who later end up getting busted in the men's room by an undercover cop. Following this logic, maybe Steve's weakness is other women? Maybe he once lusted after those uppity pants-wearing boss ladies at work?

I'm not saying that he's definitely like that (with women), but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he was. Most men are able to work around women without worrying that they're going to cheat on their wives.

[yearning4freedom]

This is just idle speculation on my part, but I almost wonder if Steve had some sort of wild past that he's trying to make up for. I mean, he was in the military, right? Of course, not all military men are like this, but it's not unusual for some of them to sow their wild oats. "

Quite possible. I know my DH did before we hooked up. It happens. Part of life!

[Justme]

This is just idle speculation on my part, but I almost wonder if Steve had some sort of wild past that he's trying to make up for. I mean, he was in the military, right? Of course, not all military men are like this, but it's not unusual for some of them to sow their wild oats. Maybe he's afraid that his kids will be wild if they're given even a smidgen of freedom. Didn't he say that he thought that working in an office could be a temptation to infidelity? Didn't he also say that he wouldn't trust Terry to go out and have dinner with a guy friend? It's like he sees evil where there's no evil. It kind of reminds me of Titus 1:15: "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted."

I've been thinking this for some time. He has said he was not Saved until after his Military service. He also stated he wished he'd been saved earlier because it would have saved him from issues (paraphrasing). This coupled with his parents divorce, could be why he such a fanantic now. I would doubt he was a Virgin when he met/married Teri, too. There is something in his past he is not forgiving himself for. He doesn't want his kids to make the same "mistake" so he is suffacating them...

[gustava]

My guess is he cheated on Terry.

[VodouDoll]

I don't think he necessarily had to have physically cheated on Teri. In fact, it would really surprise me if he has. Matthew 5:27-28 is a favorite with legalistic Christians like the Maxwells: "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." When your belief system says that noticing a woman is pretty is exactly the same to God as having sex with another woman behind your wife's back, all you really need to be an adulterer is a pair of working eyes and a hyperdeveloped sense of guilt.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

In another recent thread people found quotes from him (via the wayback machine and old Corners) where he is apparently very upset at his father for having "thrown away a marriage of 20 years" and wrecked his life, etc., and seems to be determined to not repeat their mistake, he will do better.

So I kinda wonder if his father cheated on his mom, in addition to any other "mental adultery" issues he might have.

[QueenMother]

The Maxwell's are allowed friends as a family unit. The entire Maxwell family must be friends with an entire other family. But even then they are not allowed to be alone with the other family emmbers, fundie or not. When we have been with the Maxwell's there is always two girls with me, and usually one of the boys too. I have never really thought much about it, I guess because I know they are each other's best friends.

[Triplet3]

When we have been with the Maxwell's there is always two girls with me, and usually one of the boys too. I have never really thought much about it, I guess because I know they are each other's best friends.

You know them in real life? Are you fundie too then, and do you agree with them about everything?

[QueenMother]

You know them in real life? Are you fundie too then, and do you agree with them about everything?

I have been a fundie. I am not now a fundie, in fact I am very liberal in my thinking. We are friends with the Maxwell's. Steve is trying to witness my husband back to the light. We are still friends, but not as close as we once were, but I think we'll always remain friends on some level and they do visit and share a meal with us when they visit our town. I have a sister near them and they've invited us to their home anytime we travel to Kansas City.

[yearning4freedom]

I don't think he necessarily had to have physically cheated on Teri. In fact, it would really surprise me if he has. Matthew 5:27-28 is a favorite with legalistic Christians like the Maxwells: "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." When your belief system says that noticing a woman is pretty is exactly the same to God as having sex with another woman behind your wife's back, all you really need to be an adulterer is a pair of working eyes and a hyperdeveloped sense of guilt.

I hate this when fundies preach this. If I notice a good looking guy it doesn't mean I want to jump him. It doesn't mean that I want to have an affair. So stupid. The whole idea is stupid. Their rules are stupid. What is wrong with appreciating a good looking man? I mean really! It's normal & it's human nature.

[xDreamerx]

This is a bit OT, but I've often wondered about this quote and what it was meant to express. Of course, we can't ever know, but I wonder if it was said no encourage men not to look upon women as objects? I mean, the Bible does also say that if man rapes a woman he may claim her as his wife so perhaps this was intended to nix that behaviour? It does specifically refer to women and not the other way around. Though, I'm probably giving Jesus a feminist slant that wasn't there.

The fact that fundies have used to say that men who feel attraction to women is equivalent to adultery is messed up. The fact that they blame women for "provoking" said lust is much worse, disgusting.

[yearning4freedom]

This is a bit OT, but I've often wondered about this quote and what it was meant to express. Of course, we can't ever know, but I wonder if it was said no encourage men not to look upon women as objects? I mean, the Bible does also say that if man rapes a woman he may claim her as his wife so perhaps this was intended to nix that behaviour? It does specifically refer to women and not the other way around. Though, I'm probably giving Jesus a feminist slant that wasn't there.

The fact that fundies have used to say that men who feel attraction to women is equivalent to adultery is messed up. The fact that they blame women for "provoking" said lust is much worse, disgusting.

Sort of ties in but not really..The preacher at church on Mother's Day didn't talk about mothers like you would think. No, he preached entirely on modesty. Then told the men what do look for at home & to set the dress code for their women & girls. Stupid.

[kpmom]

This is a bit OT, but I've often wondered about this quote and what it was meant to express. Of course, we can't ever know, but I wonder if it was said no encourage men not to look upon women as objects? I mean, the Bible does also say that if man rapes a woman he may claim her as his wife so perhaps this was intended to nix that behaviour? It does specifically refer to women and not the other way around. Though, I'm probably giving Jesus a feminist slant that wasn't there.

The fact that fundies have used to say that men who feel attraction to women is equivalent to adultery is messed up. The fact that they blame women for "provoking" said lust is much worse, disgusting.

I never understood that quote either. It seems awfully harsh. Maybe it's meant to let his followers know how imperfect we all are, and to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves (i.e. "works", rather than faith)??? What human has not lusted in his/her heart? Very few, I'd wager.

[fundiefan]

I hate this when fundies preach this. If I notice a good looking guy it doesn't mean I want to jump him. It doesn't mean that I want to have an affair. So stupid. The whole idea is stupid. Their rules are stupid. What is wrong with appreciating a good looking man? I mean really! It's normal & it's human nature.

Exactly! Men and women are attracted to each other more by biology than by choice. Being attracted to someone is not a crime and it is not wrong, it is exactly what we are made to do.

Turning human instinct into sin is wrong and stupid, just as you said. I feel really, really bad for people who see it that way. Their lives must be really difficult to live.

[QueenMother]

I always wonder about John and Joseph Maxwell. They are both good looking young men in great physical shape. I am sure that when they are out in public running business errands to Home Depot or Lowes they run into plenty of women. Do they look? Do they force themselves to stop and pray right in the asile? Do they talk about the women they see with each other late at night when Steve isn't around?

What happens to Sarah, Anna or Mary when they do wed and move away from the family compound? Do they even know how to make a friend? Do they expect to be brought into the family circle the way Melanie and Anna Marie have been.

Melanie is delightful, and she has a mind of her own. Nathen is totally devoted to her to the point that she knows more about what is going on than he does. I don't believe they would be so fundie if they didn't live right across the street from Nathen's parents.